Reunion Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

I told my old classmate at our 10-year reunion that I'm a writer. "Oh yeah?" he asks. "Have you sold anything yet?"

I said, "Sure. My house, my car, and all my stuff."

If the USSR suddenly came back together...

... it should be called the Soviet Reunion.

My Wife and I Were Sitting at a Table

At her high school reunion, when she kept staring at a drunken man swigging a beer as he sat at a nearby table.

I asked her "Do you know him?"

"Yes" she sighed. "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago & he hasn't been sober since.

"WOW" I said. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating for so long?!?"

And that's when the fight started....

The only thing harder than diamonds

a redneck at his family reunion

A man visits his 70th class reunion

He drinks a fair amount there and then asks for his crush from high school's hand in marriage. She accepts and then they drink some more. The next morning the man remembers that he had asked the woman to marry him but not her response, so he calls her up and asks if she said yes. She replies, "Of course I said yes. Thank goodness you called me though." The man, puzzled asks why. She replies "I had forgotten to whom I had said yes to."

I told my a very old & close classmate at our 15-year reunion that I'm a Poet. "Oh yeah?" he asks. "Have you sold anything yet?"

I said, "Sure. My house, my car, and all my stuff."

If the USSR were to become a country again...

...would it be called the Soviet Reunion?

(I heard this one a while back, sorry) Why can't you use a the restroom at a Beatles reunion concert?

Because there is no John.

What do you call 88 rednecks in an orgy?

A family reunion.

For my graduating class' 20th reunion, we're digging up our time capsule from freshman year

I cant wait to see how big my dog Sparky got

What happens when the USSR gets back together?

A Soviet Reunion.

If it ever returned, what would we call the USSR?

The Soviet Reunion

Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom..

Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom.
The other three guys start talking about how succesful their sons are.
Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a cardealership and just gave his best friend a Ferarri.
Guy 2: Thats nothing, my son owns an airliner and just gave his best friend a private jet
Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a castle
Guy 4 walks out of the bathroom and walks over to the other 3 guys
Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about
Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are
Guy 4:Well, my son is a Gay stripper
Guy 2: You must be so dissappointed with what he's done with his life
Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a Ferrari, a jet, and a caste from his three boyfriends.

So FRIENDS is having a reunion

Turns out the show wasn't over. They were on a break.

What is the saddest family reunion?

A chicken omelet

A man and his wife go to a class reunion.....

A man and his wife go to a class reunion after a grueling 4 hour drive. When they arrive they're given name tags and head to the gymnasium.


They start talking to some friends when the wife is starting to get thirsty. So she asks the husband to go get in line to give her some punch.


He returns after 10 minutes with one empty cup, and when the wife asks about her drink the husband replies,


"Sorry honey, the punchline was too long and it wasn't that good"

A joke my grandma told me at our last family reunion.

Liz and Mary are working hard at their desks. Liz stands up and invites Mary to go outside for a cigarette. They go outside only to find it's pouring rain so badly it would be impossible to smoke. However, Mary pulls a condom out of her purse and puts it around her cigarette and proceeds to smoke. Liz, completely astonished, thought it was the most fantastic idea ever. So, after work, she goes to a pharmacy and asks for some condoms. The clerk says, "What size?" The lady responds, "Big enough to fit a camel."

Little Joe was at the farm, when he saw a dead chicken.

It was lying on its back, rigor mortis locking its legs in the air. He asks his dad why the chicken has his legs in the air. Dad, who's not exactly the brightest fellow, tells him that it's so that Jesus can reach down and pull them to heaven.

Later, at the family reunion, Joe runs to his dad crying.

"What's the matter?" Asked dad, concerned.

Little Joey cries "Mum nearly died! She was on her back with her legs in the air screaming 'Jesus I'm coming!' If it wasn't for uncle bruce holding her down she would've been gone forever!"

Two guys meet up at a high school reunion

They start talking about people from their past.

"Hey, remember that flat chested girl Sam?"

"Oh yea, how she doing?"

"I just saw her like 15 minutes ago and now she's like this" - He holds his hands in front of his chest, fingers curled in.

"Oh, she got breast enlargement?"

"No, she's got severe arthritis"

My wife's high school reunion

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

What would the reunification of the USSR be called?

The Soviet Reunion

The reunion

Husband goes with his wife to her high school reunion. After meeting several of her friends and former school mates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and obviously bored.

The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance....There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon-walking, back flips, buying drinks for people, the works.

Wife turns to her husband and says, See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!"

The USSR just got back together!

It's the Soviet Reunion

Reunion

*What is Reunion?*

Reunion is when you get up in the morning and tell your wife you are going to work.

Instead you go to your neighbour's wife to make love to her.

Her husband comes and knocks on the door.

You go under the bed.

The husband enters the bedroom.

Feeling uneasy, the wife excuses herself to go to market to buy food items.

The husband takes advantage of the wife's absence to call your wife.

Your wife quickly arrives and they make love.

Suddenly his wife who had excused herself to go to the market turned back halfway forgetting the list of food items at home and knocks on the door.

You're still under the bed.

Your wife rushes to hide under the bed.

*This is REUNION*

What's the difference between a Clinton inauguration and a Wu-Tang reunion?

There's a chance of another Wu-Tang Reunion happening.

I went to my school reunion last weekend and the main topic of conversation was still about the stunning substitute teacher…

…we had one day, in the early eighties, who gave a boy a blow job in front of the entire class.

She went down in history.

We should get all the ex-soviet states back together

Then we could have a Soviet Re-Union

Why would I go to a high school reunion?

I have Facebook, I already know who got fat.

What's more covered in sweat than a marathon runner at the end of a race?

Josh Duggar at a family reunion.

What does it take to have a Beatles reunion?

2 more bullets

The Soviet Union should get back together...

To have a Soviet Reunion

I was at my 20 year highschool reunion and a friend asked, "If you could have sex with any girl from highschool who would it be?"

I told him I think we are getting a little old for highschool girls, maybe we should date people our own age.

What happens when Russia, Belarus, Kazakhstan, Armenia, Ukraine and Latvia get back together?

A Soviet reunion

High School Reunion

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma on the wall, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang," he gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "In 1975. Why do you ask?"

"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.

Then that ugly, old, bald, wrinkle-faced, fat, gray-haired, old man asked me:

"What did you teach?"

What's the worst part of going to a southern family reunion?

Seeing your ex.

Identical Twins

A pair of identical twins is born and they are soon put up for adoption. One twin is adopted by a Spanish family, and given the name Juan. Another twin is adopted by an Egyptian family and he is named Amal.

Many years later, the biological parents decide that they would like to connect with their twins that were put up for adoption. Through the adoption agency, they contact the Spanish family and have a nice reunion with their son.

When the adoption agency asks the parents if they'd like to meet the other identical twin, the father says "No thanks. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

If Russia became the Soviet Union again

It would be the Soviet Reunion

Madonna is talking with the Spice Girls

Says she wants to sponsor a reunion tour so long as she can join them. The girls agree to condition. They call her Old Spice.

4 friends (Ladies) meet 30 years after school at reunion.....

One goes to take food while the other 3 start to talk about how
successful their sons became.

No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich
he gave his best friend a ferrari.

No. 2 said her son became a pilot, started his own airline, became so
rich he gave his best friend a jet.

No. 3 said her son became an engineer, started his own development
company, became so rich he build his best friend a castle.

No 4. came back with a plate full of food and asked what the buzz is about.

They told her they were talking about how successful their sons became
and asked her about her son.

She said her son is gay and he works in a Gay Bar.

The other 3 said she must be very disappointed with her son for not
becoming successful.

" Oh no !! " said the Lady, he is doing good.

" Last week on his birthday he got a ferrari, a jet and a castle from
3 of his boyfriends..." .

All the 3 Ladies fainted ....

What is Reunion ?

Reunion is when Akhil gets up in the morning and tells his wife he is going to work.

Instead he goes to his neighbour Paul's wife to make love to her.

Her husband Paul comes and knocks on the door.

Akhil goes under the bed.

Paul enters the bedroom.

Feeling uneasy, the wife excuses herself to go to market to buy food items.

Paul takes advantage of the wife's absence to call Akhil's wife.

Akhil's wife quickly arrives and they make love.

Suddenly Paul's wife who had excused herself to go to the market turned back halfway forgetting the list of food items at home and knocks on the door.

Akhil Is Still Under The Bed.

Akhil's wife rushes to hide under the bed.

This Is REUNION

I wish they would make the USSR whole again

It would be called the Soviet Reunion

What do you call it when you show up near the end of a redneck family reunion?

Speed dating.

I brought weed and poker chips to my family reunion last week.

Apparently I missed the memo on what a "potluck dinner" was.

I was sitting with my wife at a high school reunion...

And she spotted a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, do you know him?

Yes, she replied, he is my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking as soon as we split those many years ago. He hasn't been sober since.

My god I said, who could think a man would go on celebrating that long?

What is another way to say "chicken omlette"?

Mother-Daughter reunion

Where do guys from Alabama pick up girls?

The family reunion.

I've got an elementary school reunion coming up that I'm dreading,

because I've gained like a hundred pounds.

One day, when he was visiting family, Sleezy Steve happened to notice his cousin had become very attractive..

Steve: Hey cuz! Wanna play redneck family reunion?

Cousin: What?! No!

Steve: That's the spirit.

What does it take for a Beatles reunion?

Two Bullets.

What's the same thing as a brothel in Kentucky.

A family reunion.

Three engineers

There are three engineers heading to their college reunion in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. The car breaks down along the way for seemingly no reason.

The electrical engineer suggests testing the electronics of the car and attempt to find out if a fault might have occurred.

The chemical engineer, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting stopped up.

Then, the Microsoft engineer, comes up with a "Microsoft Solution": Close all the windows, get out, get back in, then open the windows again, then he's positive it will work!

Source: One of my old professors but, it's probably somewhere on the internet.

A husband takes his wife to her high school reunion

A husband takes the wife to her high school reunion.

After meeting several of her friends and former school mates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and overly bored.

The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance. There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon walking, back flips, buying drinks for people, the works.

Wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!!!"

I met my true love at a family reunion

Oh no It wasn't like that! She was the caterer!

My Jewish friend and I live in California where there were a lot of wildfires recently, and suddenly ashes started raining from the sky.

He said, "oh look, a family reunion!"

The Spice Girls reunion tour (with special guests Salt-N-Pepa) was just announced.

It will be called the Allspice Seasonal Tour, presented by Old Spice.

So I hooked up with this girl at a party

But I forgot it was a family reunion

What did the beach boys play at their reunion show?

Wouldn't it be nice if we were younger.

So an assassin named Arty went his high school reunion

... He saw his bet friend who he hasn't to talk to in years, and asks "I'm having trouble with my wife, do you think you can do the job for me, I'll pay you," Arty says, "I'll do it for free because you're my best friend," and the friend says, "I have to pay you, it wouldn't be right if I didn't." So Arty charges his friend $1 per person killed and goes to kill his friends wife. Arty saw her at the grocery store parking lot and he chokes her to death, there was a witness so he choked the witness and saw his name on the local newspaper: Arty Chokes 2 for $1.

Gunther the cannibal was pretty late to his cannibal family reunion...

...they gave him the cold shoulder...

What do you call a party of communists that haven't seen each other in years?

Soviet Reunion

Terrible and painful, I know.

So a hydraulic jack walks into his family reunion. . .

and says look at all these Pump kins!

A Joke About Alabama

Me: What do you call an Alabaman family reunion

Friend: I don't know

Me: An orgy

What's the difference between a hockey game

and a high school reunion? At a hockey game you see fast pucks.

Whats the difference between a hillybilly family reunion and a hillbilly funeral?

At the funeral, there's DEFINITELY one guy not enjoying the sex.

Eric Clapton and Paul Weller were going to take their bands on a reunion tour of the West Country

But they couldn't decide who should go on first.

How are Trumpies like Walmart?

Conceived at a family reunion and crawling with criminals.

Why were Ru Paul and Buffalo Bill at the park?

They were at a Tucker family reunion.

A mother hears from her son that his dad was cheating on her...

So she decides to wait until they have a family reunion. Then, she asks the kid to say what he saw. The kid gets in front of everyone and says:




So... The maid and dad were in his room. He was naked and then she started sucking his... Mom, how do you call that thing that you suck when our neighbour's father visits you?

What do you call a Vietnamese family reunion?

A variety of Tings

What are the funniest reunion jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Reunion? Well, here are the best Reunion puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Reunion pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes