The Best 28 Retreat Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Retreat jokes. There are some retreat war jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these retreat mulan puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Retreat Jokes and Puns

In WW2 you could identify which nationality your opponent was from by observing their behaviors

If they respond to threats with precise rifle shots, they're British

If they respond with heavy machine gun fire, they're German

If they retreat, they're French

If they switch to your side, they're Italian

If they apologize, they're Canadian

If nothing happens for a few minutes then suddenly your camp is leveled to the ground, they're American

The Lost Bible

One day a devout preacher lost his favorite Bible while he was at a spiritual retreat in the mountains. He was devastated, and began to lose his faith. Three weeks later, a dog walked up to him after church service, carrying the Bible in its mouth. The preacher couldn't believe his eyes.

He took the precious book out of the dog's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"

"Not really," said the dog. "Your name is written inside the cover."

My hairline is like the French Army...

It's been ordered not to retreat, but nature is taking its course anyway

Retreat joke, My hairline is like the French Army...

So dad said he went on a business retreat with the guys for the weekend .

Well I decided to call him and a lady picked-up so I told mum about bit. Boy was she upset!
When Dad returned they got into a very big fight as dad denied ever meeting another woman all weekend. Finally mum told me," tell this cheat what the lady said when you called his line!"
I turned to them expressionlessly and said, "she said, " the number you are calling is not available at the moment please try again later"


I wonder why they have both been muderously chasing me for twenty minutes now!

'Sex' and 'Love' ....;)

At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.'

The woman wrote:
When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and they respect each other very much, just like my hubby and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act physical sex with one another.

The Husband wrote: I Love Sex.


What do you call a French vacation?

A retreat.

What's a German soldier's favorite vacation spot?

A French retreat.

Retreat joke, What's a German soldier's favorite vacation spot?

A train carrying republicans to a retreat crashed into a garbage truck.

It's all ok everybody. The trash was completely unharmed.

What did the Ottoman General say to the Sultan after the Battle of Vienna?

"Sir, we must retreat! We're Otto-men!"

where do the French go during a battle?

An all inclusive Retreat

Not my panties

A wife goes on a retreat for work.
When she returns, she finds a pair of panties in her dresser that do not belong to her.
Furious, she questions her husband.
The husband says, "I have no idea where they came from I don't do the laundry!"
So, the wife goes to the maid and questions her.
Indignant, the maid replies, "Madam, how should I know? These panties don't belong to me. I don't even wear panties just ask your husband!"

You can explore retreat retire reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean retreat colonial dad jokes. There are also retreat puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


An elderly couple visits their friends

After a fine dinner, the men retreat into the library to smoke cigars and to have a conversation.

"Last week me and my wife ate at this great restaurant."

"Really? What was it called?"

"Let me think....what's that flower with a yellow center and white petals?"

"A daisy?"

"Yes, that's it. DAISY! What's that restaurant we went to?"

What's a Frenchmen's favorite vacation?

A retreat.

Did you hear about the tragedy at the Hipster company's work retreat?

There were several hundred casual tees.

Hear about that Jazz Retreat?

You can get R&R at a B&B listening to R&B

Why did the French invent smokeless powder?

So they could remain hidden after shooting to allow more time for a retreat.

Retreat joke, Why did the French invent smokeless powder?

What do the French say when they retreat from a battle?

Vive la France!

I went to an adrenaline junkie camping retreat.

It was in tents.

I wonder if french soldiers ever thought it weird that people would thank them for killing then by crying Mercy! Mercy!

Just kidding. The only thing the French ever thought about was retreat.


True story, I was walking chatting with my buddy telling him I was going to visit a concentration camp on Poland.

He asked me if it was a type of yoga retreat.
(millenials...)

I met my wife at a silent retreat.

It's the only time she's been quiet.

What do you call a secluded Catholic retreat in the mountains?

A molestery.

What is an Olympic pre race pep talk for a French competitor?

Retreat that way!

What do you call a budhist running away from a battle?

A mediation retreat.

Why did the Chinese army retreat?

General tso Chicken

In World War 3, which country would retreat first?

Iran.

A brunette and 9 blondes are rock climbing...

and get stuck, unable to continue their ascent and also unable to safely retreat. Upset at themselves for not taking safety precautions, they begin discussing any possible ways of getting help. Eventually, the brunette makes a moving speech about why she should be the one to drop down and seek help, potentially injuring herself. Moved by her selflessness and eloquence, the 9 blondes start clapping...

uring the Damansky Island incident the Chinese military developed three main strategies: The Great Offensive, The Small Retreat, and Infiltration by Small Groups of One to Two Million Across the Border.

The Great Offensive
The Small Retreat

and Infiltration by Small Groups of One to Two Million Across the Border.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the retreat toulouse jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working retreat strategies piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes