The Best 5 Retort Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Retort jokes. There are some retort reaction jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these retort rephrase puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Retort Jokes and Puns

Preacher gets pulled over.

The officer asks for ID, when he says

"what have you had to drink tonight?"

The preacher replies

"Only water, sir."

The officer insists "I distinctly smell wine on your breath!"

The preacher, with a confident retort, says

"Dammit, he's done it again."

The Kindergartener's Question

Johnny walked up to his kindergarten teacher with an inquisitive look in his eyes. "Do you know where the blackβ€”" Johnny asked, to the teacher's retort. "Johnny! Say African-American!"

"Do you know where the African-American construction paper is?"

Original & Classic Winston Churchill (not my retort)

Lady Astor said to Churchill, "If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea," to which he responded, "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"

Sharp Retort

A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the old woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 dollars an ounce!"

About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both of the women in the eyes, farts, and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound!"

I asked my couch-potato wife to go to the gym to do some lifting with me

She philosophically retort: "Why should I? The burden of life is already too heavy."

Me: "Indeed you are."


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the retort johnnys jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working retort stfu piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes