Retirement Party Jokes
8 retirement party jokes and hilarious retirement party puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about retirement party that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Cheeky Retirement Party Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What is a good retirement party joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A s**... Girl in a Party Asked a Retired Army Colonel:When did you last have s**... ?
Colonel:1955.
She Said: That Was So Long Ago ! Wanna Have Some Now ?
The Colonel Looked at His Watch: Sure, Why Not
Its Only 2130 !!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bert, the oldest guy at the company was retiring...
At his retirement party, as a surprise, a large cake was rolled out, and a s**..., scantly clad woman jumped out! The woman called him over and whispered, "Hey there s**..., you want some super s**... tonight?"
"Well", said Bert, "that depends, what sort of soup?"
My overweight boss asked me to roast him at his retirement party..
I told him that as a lifelong Muslim, I was forbidden from consuming pork.
What does the cake say at the government printing office retirement party?
This cake intentionally left blank
Dave from my work retired today, at his retirement party he stepped out for a cigarette and I noticed every body called him Scarecrow, I asked why;
Turns out he was outstanding in the field
At my recent birthday party someone asked me when I planned to retire.
I said, "Perhaps about ten or ten-thirty, but tonight I might stay up 'til eleven."
You know you're getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Military Time joke
Retired General meets a younger woman at a party and after getting a little flirty, the woman asks him the last time he made love to a woman. The general stood tall and said "1956 ma'am." The woman, surprised, said "1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better..." and the two sauntered away to a private room. The woman began to s**... and the two made passionate love for an hour. The woman cuddled up to the army general afterward and said "well, you sure haven't forgotten any thing since 1956...". The general looked at her confused and said "well I sure hope not. It's only 2130 now!"
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