Retired Accountant Jokes
13 retired accountant jokes and hilarious retired accountant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about retired accountant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Retired Accountant Short Jokes
Short retired accountant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The retired accountant humour may include short retiring accountant jokes also.
- My wife woke me up all excited this morning... She said honey look at all the pounds I've lost. I told her that she was looking at our retirement account not her fitbit.
- Why did Spiderman open a retirement account? He wanted to turn his Spidey cents into Spidey dollars.
- My work offered to fund my retirement account in soup exclusively... ...I'm the first person to have a Broth IRA.
- They say you should work until your bank account looks like a phone number. I checked my balance and realized, if that was true, I could retire! I have $9.11 in my account.
- Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant?
A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring. - Why don't highways save in retirement accounts? They rarely go above 70 and it is i**...!
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Retired Accountant One Liners
Which retired accountant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with retired accountant? I can suggest the ones about retired and retired doctor.
- If Christ were alive today, he'd have a huge retirement account because Jesus saves.
- What type of retirement account do house keepers invest in? 409k
Retired Accountant Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about retired accountant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean retiring doctor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make retired accountant pranks.
While married to Rose, we acquired house, cars, jewelry, retirement accounts. And with the divorce,
everything is coming up *ROSE's*!!
I have no idea how my first submission of this came to be flaired "Religion"... so I deleted it.
$20 dollars for s**...
I man and woman get married, on the night of their wedding, the man approaches his wife, ready to make love for the first time. She smiles sweetly and sticks her hand out. "That will be $20 please!" He goes along with her game and gives her $20. As the years of their marriage go by, she continues her little $20 game, always requesting it before making love to her husband. He figures this is just her cute little way of getting spending cash for her clothes and lunch with her girl friends, so he always obeys.
After 30 years of marriage, he comes home one day, and tells his wife he has been fire from his job, they are broke, they have no retirement! She gathers her check book and shows him many lists of $20 deposits into a savings account. He realizes what she has been doing all a long, and says to her, "d**..., if I would have known what you were doing I would have given you all my business."
A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing.
Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day’s work.
After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant.
Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation.
His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message:
"Debits in the column toward the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window. Prefer Wraps and females who think realistically pick Wholemeal.”