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Retail Jokes

79 retail jokes and hilarious retail puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about retail that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Struggling to find something to make your retail days a bit brighter? Check out some of the best retail jokes about retail sales, retail stores, retail therapy, retail work, Walmart, and more. Get some laughs from the funniest retail-related April Fools and Christmas jokes out there. Liven up your workday with a few good retail jokes!

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Funniest Retail Short Jokes

Short retail jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The retail humour may include short department store jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between retail workers and turkeys? We let the turkey rest on Thanksgiving.
  2. Where do dogs go when they need a new tail? A re-tail store.
    I think it's such a cute joke, it's one of my favs :)
  3. Retailers have pulled all the Darth Vader toys from their shelves... Apparently they are a choking hazard.
  4. If you login to Amazon and other retailers websites for thanksgiving sale, you may save up to 70%........

    But if you don't login, you'll save 100%
  5. I have now stolen 56 copies of the board game "Risk" from local retailers. When they eventually catch me, I'll say "Life is all about taking Risks."
  6. Where should you take your cat, if it somehow loses its tail? Walmart, they're the world's biggest retailer.
    Thank you. I'll be here all week.
  7. What do you do if you accidentally cut off your cat's tail? Take him to WalMart. They are the largest retailer in the world.
  8. I asked a tailor to hem my jeans He did a bad job of it so I ended having to go to the retailer
  9. Where does a werewolf get a new tail? At the re-tail store!
  10. A dog who lost its tail goes where ? to a retail store

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Retail One Liners

Which retail one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with retail? I can suggest the ones about shops and supermarket.

  1. Where does a dog go when he loses his tail a retail store
  2. Where does a dog go when it loses it's tail and needs a new one? A retail store.
  3. Where do animals go when their tails fall off? Retail store. I know I'm lame.
  4. What's the most persuasive argument against democracy? "Have you ever worked in retail?"
  5. Where do dogs get new tails? The retail store
  6. Where do animals go when they lose their tails? The retail store
  7. Where to dogs who lost their tails go? To a retail store.
  8. Where does a lizard go after it drops its tail? To the retail store
  9. Where do dogs go when their tail falls off? The retail store
  10. Where do pets go when their tails fall off? The retail store
  11. What's the perfect line of work for a lizard? Re-tail.
  12. Where do lizards get their new tails? At the re-tail store
  13. Where does an animal that lost its tail go? To the retail store.
  14. Where does a dog go when his tail falls off? The retail store
  15. Florida man fires gun at a retail store. It was target.

Retail Store Jokes

Here is a list of funny retail store jokes and even better retail store puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I saw a tail-less cat in the street today It was looking for a retail store.
  • Where does a lizard go when it loses its tail ? A re-tail store
  • What does a dog do when it loses it's tail? Goes to a retail store to find another one.
  • Retail clerks who buy their own clothes from their own stores really need a confidence boost. They sell themselves shorts
  • Why didn't the store let the man return the hand soap he'd purchased? It was anti-back-to-retail soap.
  • My dog lost his tail So I took him to the retail store to get another one.
  • What do you call a retail store that disables electronics? An EMPorium
  • Where do lions go if they lose their tails ? To the re-tail store. :D
  • Retail Joke A man goes to a job interview at a local grocery store. The interviewer asks him, "So what kind of schedule are you looking for?". The man replies,"Monday to Friday, nine to five."
  • What did I say to the retail employee who asked me to sign up for their stores app? Appsolutely not.

Retail Work Jokes

Here is a list of funny retail work jokes and even better retail work puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What kind of job does a gecko work? Retail
  • After working retail I've discovered that there are two types of people in the world Those who can read signs, and customers.
  • Due to lack of protective measures during the pandemic, retail cashiers and bank tellers are refusing to go to work It's a counter strike
  • What's worse than working in retail? I don't know. I was hoping you'd come up with an answer
Retail joke, What's worse than working in retail?

Retail Jobs Jokes

Here is a list of funny retail jobs jokes and even better retail jobs puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Retail job interview (2012): Where do you see yourself in 10 years? You mean after the global pandemic or before the war?
  • When robots take over retail jobs... ...will customers complain about poorly programmed customer service?
  • You know what they say: If you've seen one retail job, then you've seen the mall.

Retail Sales Jokes

Here is a list of funny retail sales jokes and even better retail sales puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • It's a great time to invest in retail clothing stock. Pants and underwear sales in Hawaii are booming.
  • My local electronics retailer is having a fire sale. The Samsung Galaxy Note 7 is the hottest item.
  • A worldwide chickpea shortage has caused Humus makers to add more lemon to the recipe Retailers are expecting sales to fall and are prepared for a sharp dip.

Retail Therapy Jokes

Here is a list of funny retail therapy jokes and even better retail therapy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • how do you cheer up a dog that's lost its tail? retail therapy
Retail joke, how do you cheer up a dog that's lost its tail?

Laughable Retail Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about retail you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean clothing store jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make retail pranks.

I inherited some land recently and managed to buy 100 donkeys for £100...

...I planned on selling them one by one for a profit, but overnight some sick guy broke into my farm and cut all the donkeys tails off! Now I'm left with 100 donkeys with no tails, so I'm going to have to wholesale them!
(ask me why I have to wholesale them...)
Well I can't retail them can I?!

The ghost of a dog with no tail walks into a bar after closing time..

Barman: Sorry, we don't retail spirits after hours.

What did the retail employee say to the young gang member in the fitting room?

You dont fit in the hood kid.

A heavily pregnant woman goes into labor in a retail store.

A crowd gathers around her as people struggle to help, or at least make her comfortable.
Panicked a man looks around and asks "Is anyone here a doctor?!"
From the crowd steps a man wearing skinny jeans and a plaid shirt, with short, neat hair and a scruffy beard. "I'm a vegan!"

I work in retail, a married man made me laugh

Me: Hi sir, can I help you?
Him: Nah I'm just looking for my wife
Me: Oh sorry, we don't sell wives here
Him: Good! Else you'd get a lot of returns!

Why are retail workers the best in bed?

Because they're trained to have the customer come first.

Entry level position available!

3 years forklift experience required
5 years general labour required
Class 5 drivers license required
2 years kitchen experience required
4 years retail services required
2 years hospitality services required
4 years janitorial services required
3 years business degree preferred
5 years relevant experience required
$11 an hour to start(with 20¢ raise for every year of employment)
.
.
.
.
That's it. The joke is the current hiring system of the world.

I've worked both restaurant and retail jobs, and honestly I think I prefer retail jobs.

Only in retail can you drop something on the floor in front of the customer, and continue to try and sell it to them.

Canadians are perfect retail workers.

They are excellent at apologizing for everything, even if it is not their own fault.

For my 3rd cake day I'd like to re-re retell

Resell, retail, retale, resail reset preset presume resume
Assume retell
That my favorite joke is good ol' #788

A dog lost its tail.

So it went to the retail center.

What do you call a couple who decided on a career together in retail after both having earned their Doctorates?

A Paradox!

Termite Food

So I work in a retail store where we routinely have shipments of freight arriving on wooden skids. A truck driver will come by every week or so, and pick up the empty skids so they can be reused.
Out of curiosity, I asked the driver if he ever worried about termites getting into his trailer. He said the brand of skids we use are chemically treated, so termites won't eat them. You can tell the difference because instead of being regular wood, they're usually painted blue.
So I said, "In other words, they can't palate pallets in that pallette?"

A retail worker was talking to a customer when they noticed some long, high pitched noises coming from the electronic section

'Your Macbooks aren't breaking are they?' mused the slightly concerned customer.
The worker listened to the noise for a moment before motioning offhandedly to the speaker section.
'Don't worry, it's just a Dell.'

Retail joke, What's the most persuasive argument against democracy?

jokes about retail