The Best 19 Resurrection Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Resurrection jokes. There are some resurrection disciples jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these resurrection easter puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Resurrection Jokes and Puns

Four insurance companies are in competition.

One comes up with the slogan, "Coverage from the cradle to the grave."

The Second one tries to improve on that with, "Coverage from the womb to the tomb."

Not to be outdone, the third one comes up with, "From the sperm to the worm."

The fourth insurance company really thought hard and almost gave up the race, but finally came up with, "From the erection to the resurrection."

I got my kid baptized yesterday

Priest: Β Do you believe in the Holy Spirit and the holy Catholic church?

Me: I do.

Priest: Do you believe in the communion of saints and the forgiveness of sins?

Me: I do.

Priest: Do you believe in the resurrection of the body andΒ life everlasting?

Me: I do

Priest: Do you hereby indemnify and hold harmless the Catholic church for any sexual misconduct to you and your family for ever and ever amen?

Me: I do--- wait! Hold on!

Priest: Too late! You said it!

After the resurrection, Jesus was hanging out with Peter, fishing.......


Jesus says, "I feel like performing a miracle. What should I do?"
Peter says, "How about the walking-on-water gig?"
Jesus agrees, steps out of the boat, and slowly starts sinking as he walks around.
Peter helps him back into the boat and asks, "Why didn't it work this time?"
Jesus replies, "I'm not sure, maybe it's the holes in my feet."

A priest asks a little girl what she knows about the resurrection

She says "I don't know much other than that if it lasts for more than four hours then you should call a doctor"

Why didn't Jesus walk on water after his resurrection?

It's a hell of a lot harder to with holes in your feet...


Resurrection day

Children at Sunday school were asked what resurrection meant. One boy replied, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts for more than 4 hours you should call a doctor." Happy Easter!

What do you call a high resolution video taken during Jesus' resurrection?

ADHD

Resurrection joke, What do you call a high resolution video taken during Jesus' resurrection?

What's Resurrection?

There was a man teaching the children's Sunday school class, and his lesson was on resurrection. The man asks the kids if they know what the word resurrection means.

After a long silence a little boy in the back of the room raises his hand and says "Well I don't know what it is but I know that if it lasts more than 4 hours, you have to go see a doctor."

A priest is doing children's time during a service...

The priest asks the kids "Does anyone know what the resurrection is?"
A little girl raises her hand and says "Well, father, I know if it doesn't go away in four hours you have to call your doctor!"

Everyone knows the story of "doubting Thomas" and his reaction to the death and resurrection of Christ

He was famously known for insisting on seeing the wounds for himself, and while most think it was because he didn't believe the stories he was hearing, I know it was because he wanted to confirm that Jesus was indeed a holey man.

A minister started his Children's Sermon with a question. Who knows what the Resurrection is?

Without missing a beat a young boy says, "If you have one lasting more than 4 hours call your physician."

You can explore resurrection jesus reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean resurrection sermon dad jokes. There are also resurrection puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why did Jesus appear to women first after the resurrection?

He wanted to be sure the news spread quickly.

Good Friday / Easter Joke

So it's after the resurrection and boy is Jesus in the mood for some partying. He gets the disciples together and heads for the club!

They hit the dance floor, but something is wrong - Jesus just can't seem to get in groove with the music. He tries and tries, but finally yells out. . .

Help! I've risen and I can't get down!

What did Jesus say when he sat by the fire after his resurrection?

I'm a warm again Christian.

The second time around is a resurrection

while the first one, an erection.

Why did Jesus Christ go to the doctor?

His resurrection lasted more than four hours.

Resurrection joke, Why did Jesus Christ go to the doctor?

My friends and I were arguing about which of the Deathly Hallows was best: Cloak, Elder Wand or Resurrection Stone.

Upvote for invisibility.

Pastor asks about the Resurrection of Christ?

Kid says: If you have one more than 4 hours, you should go to the doctor.

When I was younger I went to church to see the Resurrection.

All I ended up seeing was the Revs. Erection.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the resurrection reincarnation jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working resurrection communion piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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