Rests Jokes
30 rests jokes and hilarious rests puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rests that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Rests Short Jokes
Short rests jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rests humour may include short resting jokes also.
- How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up. - Trump might finally get what he wants the most He might get to be president for the rest of his life.
- How many Karens did it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.
She just holds the lightbulb in the socket and expects the rest of the world to revolve around her. - Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish, and you feed him for the rest of his life.
- If you buy a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a day… If you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life
- Steal a man's wallet and he'll be poor for a day. But teach him to play an instrument and he'll be poor for the rest of his life.
- Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot... The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
- Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day.
Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life. - I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th... Because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons.
- Leave a man on a plane and he flies for a day. Throw a man off a plane and he flies for the rest of his life.
Share These Rests Jokes With Friends
Rests One Liners
Which rests one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rests? I can suggest the ones about resting place and beauty rest.
- Cardi B and bill Cosby walk into a bar... I don't remember the rest.
- The three most well-known spy agencies are the CIA, KGB, and MI5. The rest are good.
- If your parachute doesn't deploy don't worry.. You have the rest of your life to fix it.
- Why couldn't the candle get any sleep? Because there's no rest for the wicked.
- Assist is 50% the letter "S"... The rest are just there to help.
- I used my knife to conserve ammo... the rest of the paintball tournament were horrified
- Got an A on my paper... Time to write the rest of it
- I'm so dumb and out of shape My resting heart rate is higher than my IQ
- My wife said I'm the only one she's ever been with The rest were eights and nines.
- I got so drunk the other night that I lost my glasses. The rest is a blur.
- Police were called to a day care Toddler was resisting a rest.
- The first four letters of the alphabet are the hardest. The rest are e-z.
- I've got my own private jet... ...but the rest of the jacuzzi belongs to my mom.
- What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
- If a child refuses to sleep during nap time... are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Comical Rests Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about rests you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rest home jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rests pranks.
What rests on the ground between my feet and is covered in ants?
My ice cream cone. =(
*Inspired by actual events.
A man is attending the burial of his wife, who has just died.
When someone asks, 'Who is it who rests in peace here?', he answers, 'Me, now that I'm rid of her!'"
The man who rests on his laurels…
….is wearing them in the wrong place.
— Harold Coffin
The leg rests have taken over!
Fear the Ottoman Empire!
A f**... stone: This is where rests in peace an attorney, a good and honorable man
A guy passing buy is shocked: " Wow! I never knew they can bury 3 people in the same grave."
What do you call it when you fail to break your addiction to mid-day rests?
Re-naps
A bear walks into a bar...
And he goes up the barman, rests his elbows on the bar, and says "I'll have a pint...
... of beer please."
And the barman says, "Why the big pause?"
A group of adventurers walked into a bar.
"You can't bring your weapons in here!" the bartender yelled. "Why would you want to, anyways?"
"Mimics," the group's leader responded. "You can never be too careful."
After a moment, the bartender laughed, slowly followed by the rests of the group. "How ridiculous!" they all said.
"Ridiculous indeed!" said the nearby table.
Snooker players are the laziest sportspeople in the world ...
... constantly need rests.
I'm playing serious Sam vr with my dad.
Me: Remember you have a shield use it!
Dad: Where's the button for it?
Me: Where your middle finger naturally rests.
Dad: so in your mom.
What did the attorney say when the judge asked him why he has sleeping in court?
The prosecution rests, your honor.
What happened to Jamal Khashoggi ?
He rests in pieces.
A priest gives a young nun a lift home from church one day..
As he's shifting gears, he rests his hand on the nun's knee.
The young nun looks up at the priest and says, Father, remember Luke 14:10.
The priest withdraws his hand embarrassed.
Next time they stop at a light, he places his hand a little higher up on her thigh, again the nun says, Remember Luke 14:10, Father.
The priest apologizes, The flesh is weak.
So he drops her off, and when he gets home, he reaches for his bible and flips to Luke 14:10.
Friend, come up higher, then shalt thou have glory!
A priest is giving a nun a ride home one day...
As they're in the car, each time the Priest goes to switch gears, he rests his hand on the nuns knee.
The nun looks up at the priest and says "Father, remember Luke 14 10."
The priest moves his hand away, embarrassed. The next time they stop at a light, he places his hand a little higher on her leg.
Once again, the nun says "Remember Luke 14 10, father."
The priest apologizes, "The flesh is weak" he says.
The priest drops the nun off, and when he gets home, he reaches for his bible and flips to Luke 14 10, which says.
"Friend, come up higher. Then shalt thow have glory."
My friend had a f**... for her baby who was killed by a lawnmower...
I hope he Rests In Pieces.
