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Restraining Order Jokes

67 restraining order jokes and hilarious restraining order puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about restraining order that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Restraining Order Short Jokes

Short restraining order jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The restraining order humour may include short restraining jokes also.

  1. What gets bigger every time I watch my neighbor undress in her bedroom window? The restraining order
  2. I feel like my girlfriend and I don't speak the same language sometimes I say we have a long distance relationship.
    She says I have a restraining order.
  3. My girlfriend and I just transitioned to a long distance relationship Or as the judge insists on calling it, a restraining order
  4. I tried to come up with a joke about restraining orders. But this is as close as I'm allowed to get.
  5. My girlfriend and I just transitioned to a long distance relationship Or as she likes to call it, a restraining order
  6. The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least, that's what the restraining order says.
  7. I have the eye of a tiger, and the heart of a lion. I also have a permanent ban from the zoo, and a few restraining orders
  8. My girlfriend and I have been practicing social distancing since the start of the pandemic. She calls it a restraining order for some weird reason.
  9. Everyone always told me to chase my dreams Now Emma Watson has a restraining order against me.
  10. My girlfriend gave me a Valentine's Day card Silly girl disguised it as a restraining order

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Restraining Order One Liners

Which restraining order one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with restraining order? I can suggest the ones about judge ordered and arresting officer.

  1. A restaurant served me soggy spaghetti So I put in a re-straining order.
  2. If you keep following your dreams... They're going to file a restraining order.
  3. Love knows no distance... but restraining orders do.
  4. I just got Natalie Portman's autograph! Sure, it's on a restraining order, but still...
  5. Chasing your dreams is a terrible idea... At least that's what my restraining order says.
  6. My wife got a restraining order against me. I love it when she plays hard to get.
  7. I always go the extra mile for my wife Ever since she took out that restraining order
  8. Always go the extra mile Especially if the restraining order tells you to.
  9. Why did Jack get a restraining order? Beanstalking.
  10. What's the biggest sign she's just not into you? a restraining order.
  11. I decided to write a joke about restraining orders. This is the closest I could get.
  12. I had to take out a restraining order against my molar... ...it was abscessed with me.
  13. What's black and white and means it's over? This restraining order!
  14. "Hey man, are your parents home?" I was given a restraining order from the orphanage :'(
  15. What separates the men from the boys? A restraining order.

Restraining Order Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about restraining order you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean resisting arrest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make restraining order pranks.

Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.

Why is it everything I love is either unhealthy, addicting or has multiple restraining orders against me?

I'm in a long distance relationship, her restraining order ends tomorrow.

Beautiful Girl

I once said to my girlfriend I would never stop telling her how beautiful she is.
Three years, a break up and two restraining orders later I still haven't stopped.
Made this one up myself thanks for reading.

Recently divorced Marine s**... slapped with a 1500 yard restraining order.

He is now struggling to understand the distance that has become between them, as well as windage.

Two magic beans...

Two magic beans are in a court house. One of them wants a restraining order against the other.
The reason?
He's bean stalking her

Restraining order

Why did Mary get a restraining order against Black Beard the Pirate?
He kept trying to plunder her b**....

My friend gave me his number and told me to hit him up.

Now he's got two broken bones and a restraining order...

It's impossible to rekindle an old flame...

... the restraining order and lifelong lighter ban saw to that.

when she gives me her autograph

I love it when she signs the restraining order without dotting the i with a heart, playing hard to get I see!

My girlfriend has a f**... for feet

Every time I go to see her she adds a few more to the restraining order.

You might not be able to pick your friends

but you most certainly can pick your restraining orders.

I tried washing my coffee maker today

Now I'm no longer allowed in Starbucks unless the barista has the restraining order removed.

Russian Nursery Rhyme

The incy wincy conrade
Was tugging at his chain
About rights of workers
He complain
The secret police
Am get order to restrain
And the incy wincy comrade was never seen again

You know, it must be nice to be a creep with a b**... f**......

Restraining orders just turn you on even more.

I recently received a certificate for the breast s**....

Although the Judge called it a restraining order.

What do you call the marriage license for a couple whose main k**... is b**...?

A restraining order!

I went out to a nightclub

They played the Twist, so I did the Twist.
They played the Cha-Cha Slide, so I did the Cha-Cha Slide.
They played Come On Eileen.
I'm banned from that nightclub, but I got a sweet restraining order.

Don't you just hate it when someone plays hard to get?

One person even went so far as to putting a restraining order on me.

Rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

But I'd still be breaching my restraining order

Today I asked out my dream girl

She replied with a thankful yes, but that yes was to the officer asking about filing a restraining order... I can still see Her, just from 400ft away.

I ordered a pasta strainer on Amazon.

But it never came.
So I had to keep calling Amazon over and over and continually pester them until, finally, they gave me a re-straining order.

All the girls in my town have a f**... for feet.

Any time I go near one, they add a few more to the restraining order.

Why cant the uncle touch his knees anymore?

His father filed a restraining order after what he did to his nephew.

What do you get when you cross Taylor Swift's hair strand with salt?

a restraining order

All this talk recently about following the Swedish model

I tried following a Swedish model one time. Apparently, Sweden has restraining orders, too...

I've been called a pervert. I've been banned from the mall. I've even gotten a few restraining orders, but I won't let that stop me.

Come h**... or high water, I'm gonna figure out Victoria's Secret.