Restraining Jokes

63 restraining jokes and hilarious restraining puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about restraining that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Have you ever come across an impossible neighbor and found yourself wanting to get a restraining order against their jokes? In this article, find out why restraining jokes might be a flame that can quickly go out of control. Don't let your jokes get you in trouble, learn the best way to keep the joke alive without crossing the line.

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Funniest Restraining Short Jokes

Short restraining jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The restraining humour may include short resisting arrest jokes also.

  1. What gets bigger every time I watch my neighbor undress in her bedroom window? The restraining order
  2. I feel like my girlfriend and I don't speak the same language sometimes I say we have a long distance relationship.
    She says I have a restraining order.
  3. My girlfriend and I just transitioned to a long distance relationship Or as the judge insists on calling it, a restraining order
  4. How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
    How do you restrain a trans person?
    Make the trans' vest tight.
  5. I tried to come up with a joke about restraining orders. But this is as close as I'm allowed to get.
  6. My girlfriend and I just transitioned to a long distance relationship Or as she likes to call it, a restraining order
  7. The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least, that's what the restraining order says.
  8. I have the eye of a tiger, and the heart of a lion. I also have a permanent ban from the zoo, and a few restraining orders
  9. My girlfriend and I have been practicing social distancing since the start of the pandemic. She calls it a restraining order for some weird reason.
  10. Everyone always told me to chase my dreams Now Emma Watson has a restraining order against me.

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Restraining One Liners

Which restraining one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with restraining? I can suggest the ones about restrictions and detention.

  1. A restaurant served me soggy spaghetti So I put in a re-straining order.
  2. If you keep following your dreams... They're going to file a restraining order.
  3. Love knows no distance... but restraining orders do.
  4. I just got Natalie Portman's autograph! Sure, it's on a restraining order, but still...
  5. Chasing your dreams is a terrible idea... At least that's what my restraining order says.
  6. My wife got a restraining order against me. I love it when she plays hard to get.
  7. I always go the extra mile for my wife Ever since she took out that restraining order
  8. Always go the extra mile Especially if the restraining order tells you to.
  9. Why did Jack get a restraining order? Beanstalking.
  10. What's the biggest sign she's just not into you? a restraining order.
  11. I decided to write a joke about restraining orders. This is the closest I could get.
  12. I had to take out a restraining order against my molar... was abscessed with me.
  13. What's black and white and means it's over? This restraining order!
  14. "Hey man, are your parents home?" I was given a restraining order from the orphanage :'(
  15. What separates the men from the boys? A restraining order.

Restraining Order Jokes

Here is a list of funny restraining order jokes and even better restraining order puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My girlfriend gave me a Valentine's Day card Silly girl disguised it as a restraining order
  • All this talk recently about following the Swedish model I tried following a Swedish model one time. Apparently, Sweden has restraining orders, too...
  • Why cant the uncle touch his knees anymore? His father filed a restraining order after what he did to his nephew.
  • Rose by any other name would smell as sweet. But I'd still be breaching my restraining order
  • I ordered a pasta strainer on Amazon. But it never came.
    So I had to keep calling Amazon over and over and continually pester them until, finally, they gave me a re-straining order.
  • when she gives me her autograph I love it when she signs the restraining order without dotting the i with a heart, playing hard to get I see!
  • Two magic beans... Two magic beans are in a court house. One of them wants a restraining order against the other.
    The reason?
    He's bean stalking her
  • Today I asked out my dream girl She replied with a thankful yes, but that yes was to the officer asking about filing a restraining order... I can still see Her, just from 400ft away.
  • I tried washing my coffee maker today Now I'm no longer allowed in Starbucks unless the barista has the restraining order removed.
  • It's impossible to rekindle an old flame... ... the restraining order and lifelong lighter ban saw to that.
Restraining joke, It's impossible to rekindle an old flame...

Uproarious Restraining Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about restraining you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean detained jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make restraining pranks.

Beautiful Girl

I once said to my girlfriend I would never stop telling her how beautiful she is.
Three years, a break up and two restraining orders later I still haven't stopped.
Made this one up myself thanks for reading.

Recently divorced Marine s**... slapped with a 1500 yard restraining order.

He is now struggling to understand the distance that has become between them, as well as windage.

My girlfriend has a f**... for feet

Every time I go to see her she adds a few more to the restraining order.

Russian Nursery Rhyme

The incy wincy conrade
Was tugging at his chain
About rights of workers
He complain
The secret police
Am get order to restrain
And the incy wincy comrade was never seen again

I recently received a certificate for the breast s**....

Although the Judge called it a restraining order.

What do you call the marriage license for a couple whose main k**... is b**...?

A restraining order!

I went out to a nightclub

They played the Twist, so I did the Twist.
They played the Cha-Cha Slide, so I did the Cha-Cha Slide.
They played Come On Eileen.
I'm banned from that nightclub, but I got a sweet restraining order.

All the girls in my town have a f**... for feet.

Any time I go near one, they add a few more to the restraining order.

The orange juice complained to his therapist that no one wanted to drink him because he had too much pulp.

He was so depressed that he wanted to throw himself from the highest refrigerated shelf.
Try to restrain yourself, said the therapist.

I've been called a pervert. I've been banned from the mall. I've even gotten a few restraining orders, but I won't let that stop me.

Come h**... or high water, I'm gonna figure out Victoria's Secret.

Restraining joke, My girlfriend and I just transitioned to a long distance relationship