Restlessness Jokes
23 restlessness jokes and hilarious restlessness puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about restlessness that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Restlessness Short Jokes
Short restlessness jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The restlessness humour may include short jokes also.
- I tossed and turned as I heard metallic sounds coming from the next bedroom. It was a restless knight.
- Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer? Because he lies on one side and then turns around and lies on the other one.
- A man sentenced to death is asked - What is your last wish?
- To watch the "Young and the Restless" series complete with commercials.
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Restlessness One Liners
Which restlessness one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with restlessness? I can suggest the ones about and .
- I have a girlfriend with restless leg syndrome I tell everyone - I get a kick out of it.
- What's Sigmund Freud's favorite soap opera? The Jung and the Restless
- Did you hear about that group of restless cyber monday TVs? They were ADHD.
- What do you call a restless tree with nothing to say? No calm ent...
- ADHD in just-hatched chicks is also known as ... Restless Egg Syndrome
- Why did the restless Scottish man have a w**...? Because he was counting sheep!
Restlessness Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about restlessness you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make restlessness pranks.
A plane is sitting at the terminal and is supposed to leave shortly
Departure seems to be taking ages, and the passengers are growing restless. Eventually a staff member says on the PA system:
"Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay to your journey today. During preflight checks the pilot wasn't happy with the noise coming from the left engine, so we've had to delay departure until we can locate a new pilot."
A group of passengers are riding the bus to work…
Suddenly, the engine splutters and the bus grinds to a halt at the side of the road. The driver gets out, opens the engine compartment, and peers inside, cursing and swearing.
After a while the passengers get restless. A woman pulls a small toolkit out of her purse, gets up and goes outside, and sees the driver frantically trying to reattach a loose electrical cable with his fingers.
Would you like a screwdriver, she asks.
I'd love one, he replies, but we're ten minutes late already !
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A stupidly wealthy business man builds a golden house.
On the day he moves in, he spends a few hours in the games room playing on his golden playstation 4.
Next he goes into the reading room and reads the golden newspaper.
After a while he feels restless, goes to the gym, and works out on the golden treadmill.
After 30 minutes on the treadmill he collapses from exhaustion, and says f**... me, that was hard work, I could do with a shower.'
Contempt Of Court
Having had to take the day off work to appear in court for a minor traffic summons, the man was growing increasingly restless as he waited hour after hour for his case to be heard.
Finally, late in the afternoon, his case was called. He stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned until the next day and he would have to return.
"What!" What for?" he yelled at the judge.
His Honor, equally irritated by a tedious day and the sharp query, roared, "That will be twenty dollars for contempt of court! That's what for!"
Noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge added, "That's all right. You don't have to pay right now."
The man replied, "Oh, I'm just looking to see if I have enough for two more words!"
The farmer and the goose go to the movies.
So this farmer goes to the movies with his favorite goose. But they wont let the goose in. So the farmer hides the goose in his pants, buys a ticket and finds his seat.
After about a half an hour the goose is getting restless so the farmer unzips his pants so the goose can get some air.
The goose sticks his head out of the farmers zipper and is thrilled he can watch the movie. But he can't see so he stretches his neck out to see the screen.
After about 10 minutes the old woman sitting next to the farmer says to him "I have to say you are quite talented, In my experience If you've seen one you've seen them all, but this one is eating my popcorn. What are you doing after the movie"
Laundry
A shy young couple invent a name for making love "doing the laundry." One night the husband wakes up and asks his wife if she wants to "do the laundry."She complains that she's got a headache so the husband goes back to sleep. In the morning he asks if she'd like to "do the laundry," but his wife complains she's too tired, after having a restless night. That afternoon he asks if she's ready to "do the laundry," but she's too busy with her chores. The same evening his wife snuggles up to him and asks if he still wants to "do the laundry." "No, it's okay," he replies. "It was a small load, so i did it by hand!"
A cowboy rode into a dusty old town...
...and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar and with a quick move of his hands, he flipped his guns into the air, caught them above his head without even looking and fired at the ceiling. Which one of you cow'rdly sidewinders stole my hoss!?" he yelled. No one answered.
"Alright, I'm gonna have anotha beer, and if my hoss ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna haf'ta do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! As he swung up into the saddle and started to ride out of town, the bartender ran out of the saloon and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I walked home."
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was.
When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.
"Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.
"Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town.
The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."