Resting Jokes
48 resting jokes and hilarious resting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about resting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Resting Short Jokes
Short resting jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The resting humour may include short rests jokes also.
- How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up. - Trump might finally get what he wants the most He might get to be president for the rest of his life.
- How many Karens did it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.
She just holds the lightbulb in the socket and expects the rest of the world to revolve around her. - Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish, and you feed him for the rest of his life.
- If you buy a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a day… If you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life
- Steal a man's wallet and he'll be poor for a day. But teach him to play an instrument and he'll be poor for the rest of his life.
- Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot... The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
- Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day.
Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life. - I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th... Because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons.
- Leave a man on a plane and he flies for a day. Throw a man off a plane and he flies for the rest of his life.
Share These Resting Jokes With Friends
Resting One Liners
Which resting one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with resting? I can suggest the ones about waking and laying in bed.
- Cardi B and bill Cosby walk into a bar... I don't remember the rest.
- The three most well-known spy agencies are the CIA, KGB, and MI5. The rest are good.
- If your parachute doesn't deploy don't worry.. You have the rest of your life to fix it.
- Why couldn't the candle get any sleep? Because there's no rest for the wicked.
- Assist is 50% the letter "S"... The rest are just there to help.
- I used my knife to conserve ammo... the rest of the paintball tournament were horrified
- Got an A on my paper... Time to write the rest of it
- I'm so dumb and out of shape My resting heart rate is higher than my IQ
- My wife said I'm the only one she's ever been with The rest were eights and nines.
- I got so drunk the other night that I lost my glasses. The rest is a blur.
- Police were called to a day care Toddler was resisting a rest.
- The first four letters of the alphabet are the hardest. The rest are e-z.
- I've got my own private jet... ...but the rest of the jacuzzi belongs to my mom.
- What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
- If a child refuses to sleep during nap time... are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Resting Place Jokes
Here is a list of funny resting place jokes and even better resting place puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm starting a new business tomorrow. It will be a gym for two weeks in January, and then a beer and burger place for the rest of the year.
I'm calling it, "Resolutions." - When I die, I wish to be buried with my record collection... It will be my Vinyl resting place
- The man who rests on his laurels… ….is wearing them in the wrong place.
— Harold Coffin - Mosquito came buzzing up and landed on me, said, "I just need a place to rest and maybe a bite to eat." I said, "I feel you."
- How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one to hold it in place while the rest of Europe runs circles around it.
- Men are born from between a women's legs and spend rest of their life to get back between them. Why?
Because there's no place like home. - My friend and I placed a bet for the Super Bowl. We would both pick a team, whoever picks the team that loses has to act mentally disabled for the rest of their life.
I chose the Panthers. - What do you do with an antisocial crotchet? Place him under a rest.
Laughable Resting Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about resting you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bed rest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make resting pranks.
A man was very sick. Doctors feared the worst. He is at home one day, resting in his bed. He looks up and says, "Is my wife here?" His wife replies, "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you." The man goes, "Are my children here?" "Yes, Daddy, we are all here," say the children.
"Are my other relatives also here?"
And they say, "Yes, we are all here..."
The man sits up and says,
"Then why in the world is the light on in the kitchen?"
As the teacher marked my quiz answers, she said, "This is wrong."
"Question 2 ?" I asked.
"No, the way your hand is resting between my thighs."
How was your job interview yesterday?
Well, I entered the office, found a man sitting on a large black leather chair with feet resting foron the table....
He pointed towards his laptop, asked me to take it and go outside, then come back and try to sell him the laptop...
He thought himself as actor Leonardo Di Caprio of "The wolf of wall street" movie...
So I took the laptop and left...
Left... ?? Then what ??
Nothing...
30 minutes later he called me up, begging me to return his laptop to him coz all his work and important documents were in it.....
So I asked him:
Will you buy it ??
I had to thank my friend for finding my bank card resting in some wet grass.
Credit where it's dew.
As the teacher marked my quiz answers, she suddenly stopped, looked up at me and shook her head in utter disappointment. With cold, dead eyes, she muttered, "This is wrong." Mouth dry, I whispered, "Question 2?"
She snarled, "No, the way your hand is resting between my thighs."
I read an article on the hibernation of animals.
It's winter resting.
Two drunk men are talking in a bar
- You know? my uncle is now resting in peace
- I had no clue your uncle had died
- No, the one who died was my aunt
Help, I'm a Democrat who has a very specific f**... of looking at foreign dictators resting on top of crackers and I'm looking for people into the same as me...
So if you're Blue and you don't know what to search for why don't you look were Fascists sits... Putin on the Ritz
Guy and his wife are in divorce talks
Guy says "I just don't see where we can go from here. You told me repeatedly when we first met that you were interesting, but you're always lying in bed."
She turned to him and said "you idiot, I said it was *into resting*."
A car rolls up to the cemetary and the pallbearers unload the coffin.
Resting on top of the coffin is a set of golf clubs. An onlooker remarks to his companion, "He must have been quite the golfer."
"Oh he still is. Once he gets his brother in the ground, he'll still have time for a quick nine."
I got cleaning duties today and my wife told me she would be resting
It was my first time in years. While i was cleaning the halls, i could hear her screaming from the bedroom things like "Faster!", "Thats the spot! Right there!"
I just love how supporting she is
3 gay men resting inside a jacuzzi
Then suddenly a c**... floated...
The 3 gay men looked at one another seriously.
Gay man 1: Ok,Which one of you f**...?
A man is resting on his death bed...
As he waits to pass on, he sees the reaper approach his bedside.
"I am the angel of deaf!" Says the reaper.
The man, confused, asks "Don't you mean the angel of death?"
"...Could you repeat that?"
I heard Usain Bolt once won a race while resting.
He was fast asleep.
My wife's resting in the garden.
Well, at rest.
My dog is in diapers because she's in heat, so I took her picture while she was sleeping and printed it onto my N95 mask.
Now I have a resting b**... face mask
Saw a right angle resting under a tree this afternoon and thought....
Wow! 90 degrees in the shade!!
The Titanic has been resting on the ocean floor for over a hundred years.
Let that sink in for a minute.
If Elon Musk started a yoga studio...
...he'd be the owner of a boring company and an inner resting company as well.
What kind of expression does a person who fell asleep by the ocean have?
Resting beach face
My friends were disappointed that I decided to stay home after work instead of going out with them...
I said, "Yea, I'm really into resting, aren't I ? "
A limerick about my life right now
I might soon be resting in clover,
At the end of my days as a rover.
But I'm still not appeased
Whether I've got disease,
Or just that I'm really hungover.
There's 24 hours in a day, and 24 cigarettes resting on my desk. Coincidence?
No. I'm just an addict.
