Restaurant Jokes
161 restaurant jokes and hilarious restaurant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about restaurant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for something to add a bit of flavor to your next dinner out? Check out this collection of hilarious restaurant jokes! From Mexican restaurants to pubs and fast food places, these jokes will have you laughing all night long. So grab a seat and get ready for the best restaurant jokes around!
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Funniest Restaurant Short Jokes
Short restaurant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The restaurant humour may include short chef jokes also.
- I arrived early to the restaurant. The manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said no. Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
- The Indian restaurant I work for is so secretive I had to sign a legal agreement that I wouldn't share the flatbread recipe Just their standard naan disclosure agreement.
- A group of Karens are sitting at a restaurant together. A waiter approaches and asks, Is anything OK?
- I went to a restaurant. It was full; no place to sit...
I took out my mobile,
Placed it to my ear and said loudly- "Bro come fast, she's here with someone else...
Six couples ran away - I went to a Indian restaurant last night. After I had ordered, a little old lady came to me and said, "Aren't you polite. You have such lovely manners." It was my complimentary nan
- A beautiful girl asked me in a restaurant,"Are you single?" I Happily I replied," Yes...."
She took away the extra chair in front of me. - Dunno what this WiFi dude did But I've seen a ton of bars and restaurants demanding his freedom lately
- Jay Leno walked past a painting of Simon Cowell surrounded by his dogs during AGT. And said: Cowell looked at the dogs like they were on the menu at a korean restaurant.
- Mom asks, "Are you going to take me out to a restaurant for Mother's Day?" Kid replies, "We have food at home"
- I ate at Mary Poppin's Restaurant last night... Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious
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Restaurant One Liners
Which restaurant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with restaurant? I can suggest the ones about meal and hotel.
- What would two termites order at a restaurant? Table for 2
- Sad news…the creator of autocorrect has died Restaurant in piece 🕯
- Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant? Because he got cold feet.
- A tennis ball walks into a restaurant.... a waiter asks: "Have you been served?"
- What is a cannibals favorite restaurant? Five Guys
- There is only one thing I don't like about ordering duck in a Chinese restaurant The bill
- The Greek restaurant in my town is so authentic that it went bankrupt
- Why is a bulimic's favorite restaurant KFC? Cause it comes with a bucket.
- Rob Zombie is opening an authentic Chinese restaurant It's called 'More Hunan Than Hunan'
- Joke from my 4.5 yo son Where does a T-rex go for dinner?
A DINE-osaur restaurant! - I want to open an all-you-can-eat Italian restaurant… I'd call it Endless Pastabilities.
- What did the Jedi order at the Italian restaurant? Only one cannoli.
- A restaurant served me soggy spaghetti So I put in a re-straining order.
- I'm gonna open a Pho restaurant that never closes! It's called Twenty Pho Seven
- What do Chinese restaurants do when their lights are too bright? Dim sum
Chinese Restaurant Jokes
Here is a list of funny chinese restaurant jokes and even better chinese restaurant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant... He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, "yes, you are."
- My local Chinese restaurant has been hit with a £10k electricity bill. They said they can't turn off all the lights but they do dim sum.
- Who is the laziest person in a Chinese restaurant? Susan
- A man has dinner at a chinese restaurant The man says to the chef:
"Gee, this steak is rubbery!" And the chef replies "thank you very much!" - Chinese Food: $16.72 Gas to Get to Restaurant: $1.94 Getting Home and Realizing They Forgot One of Your Food Containers: Riceless
- I was at a Chinese restaurant... when I realized that a duckling is a small duck. So I decided to cancel my order of steamed dumplings.
- Last night my friend trashed a Chinese restaurant... Told him I was horrified by his wonton destruction
- I want to open a restaurant that fuses Chinese and Middle Eastern cuisine I call it "Wok like an Egyptian".
- I called a Chinese restaurant, the man replied " Hello, I am Wan King the chef."
I replied "It's OK, I'll call you later." - Many Chinese restaurants have names like, Golden Palace, Golden Lotus, Golden Dragon... But mine is named after my favourite dish, Golden Retriever.
Indian Restaurant Jokes
Here is a list of funny indian restaurant jokes and even better indian restaurant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I wnet to an Indian restaurant and ordered biryani... The waiter said, sorry sir, I don't know what a birlaurel is.
- Indian restaurants make most of their money off of the bread.. They're naan-profit organizations.
- At Indian Restaurant "Those triangular pastry parcels with the spicy filling were delicious!"
"Samosa?"
"No, thank you, I'm full now." - ME AS AN INDIAN RESTAURANT WAITER: I can show you how we make our bread, but I'll need to you sign a Naan-Disclosure Agreement first.
- Last time I went to the Indian restaurant, they forgot to give me bread... But I didn't complain, since it was a naan-issue.
- I've found a great 24-hour Indian restaurant It's my favorite nonstop naan-stop
- Today I went to an Indian restaurant and asked for bread They told me they had naan.
- Tried to order bread at an Indian restaurant They told me they had naan left
- I want to open an Indian restaurant that caters to the workingclass individual. I'll call it Naan to Five.
- Tim Rice and Tim Curry are going to open an Indian restaurant together. They plan to call it 'Tim's'
Restaurant Menu Jokes
Here is a list of funny restaurant menu jokes and even better restaurant menu puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- At a restaurant.... Guy: hey can i ask a question about the menu please?
Waitress: the men i please is none of your business - What will be a the menu of a restaurant named karma? There will be no menu you will get what you will deserve
- Do you wanna go to a restaurant? You cant spell menu without me n u
I'm gonna lose all my karma. - Dinner So, I'm having dinner with my Uncle at this chic restaurant. As he closed the menu shut, he says to the waitstaff I'll have the turtle soup and make it snappy!
- So I am opening an Italian style restaurant. Every item on the menu is going to be medication themed.
I am gonna call it.... Big Parma. - I wish restaurant food looked like the pictures on the menu.
A hostess asked me how everything was.
I said, "My compliments to the photographer." - The local Chinese restaurant has creme brulee, but it's not on the menu. It's Secret Asian Flan
- I was looking at the menu in a restaurant wondering what the "Jeremy Clarkson Special" was Then it hit me
- The restaurant's menu said "Breakfast Any Time" So I ordered steak n' eggs from the Renaissance Period.
- Cannibal restaurant I went to a cannibal restaurant once, I asked for the menu and they gave me a phonebook...
Mexican Restaurant Jokes
Here is a list of funny mexican restaurant jokes and even better mexican restaurant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My local Greek restaurant just started serving tacos and burritos.... I tried it earlier today and it turns out it's plain old Greecey Mexican food.
- Why did Sherlock Holmes visit a Mexican restaurant? Because he was looking for a good case idea.
- I want to open an Aerosmith-themed mexican restaurant ...and call it 'Guac This Way'
- What do Hindus order at Mexican restaurants? Chimichakras
- What is the coldest dish at a Mexican restaurant? a b-r-r-r-r-ito
- A Mexican went into a Japanese restaurant and ordered but only to be disappointed when he was served with a live Octopus slammed in his plate. He asked for a taco.
- What do baseball scouts look for when they go to a Mexican restaurant? Fajitas
- I'm starting a private Mexican restaurant. It's called Nacho Business.
- What do you call a Mexican / Soul Food Restaurant? Nacho Mama's
- What does the Pope order in a Mexican restaurant? Holy mole
Fast Food Restaurant Jokes
Here is a list of funny fast food restaurant jokes and even better fast food restaurant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Apparently there's a beef shortage on the rise. Good news is fast food restaurants shouldn't be affected.
- Due to the recent relaxation of laws in Saudi Arabia, a new chain of fast food restaurants are opening up which are run solely by women.
It's called Burka King. - What was The Mountain's favorite fast food restaurant? Popeyes
- I'm planning to open a Norwegian/Middle Eastern fast-food restaurant. It's called The Valhallah Snakbar.
- Obesity is a problem and needs to be dealt with immediately But remember, 50% off fast food restaurants for the month of August. Help the economy
- What's a white supremacist's favourite fast food restaurant? KKKFC
- Asian stereotype joke An Asian man walks up to a fast food restaurant for takeout.
He says "Flied lice please."
He leaves but comes back a minute later
"This is fried rice, I ordered flied lice." - What's a chemist's favorite fast food restaurant? K(elvin) F(ahrenheit) C(elsius)!
- What's the name of the Indian fast food restaurant? Curry in a hurry.
- Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?
He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.
Uproarious Restaurant Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about restaurant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean burger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make restaurant pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Judge: How could you kill 24 people? What the h**... was wrong with you?
Driver:I was driving at 50mph when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a restaurant with outside seating. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realised they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the restaurant.
Judge: Hit the 2 men of course!
Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other man ran inside the restaurant so l followed him.
A man walks into an Indian restaurant.
The waiter asks, have you ever ordered here before?
The man replies, No, I haven't.
The waiter continues, We're a little different here. Before you order, I need you read and sign this form, and he hands a piece of paper to the man.
The man squints at the paper and reads the single sentence, We have naan at this restaurant. The man looked up, puzzled, and asked why he needed to sign this worthless statement.
The waiter replied, impatiently, Just sign the naan disclosure agreement and we can move on.
A new law
Two guys walk into a bar and order lunch. "What brings you guys in today?" the bartender asks. "I guess you haven't heard yet. The mayor passed a law yesterday to try to help out local restaurants during Covid-19. All adult males are required to go and eat lunch out with their best male friends at least once a week," one of the guys answers the bartender. "Well it's not a law really," the other guy corrects him. "It's more of a mandate."
Jesus walks into a restaurant...
And says to the Maitre'd "Table for 26 please"
Confused, the Maitre'd does a quick head count, and says "But there are only 13 of you."
Jesus replies "Yes, but we are all going to sit on the same side"
DIVORCED & DRUNK
A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table.
His wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband. "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says the wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
Taste the soup
A guy eating in a restaurant calls the waiter.
-Please taste the soup.
The confused waiter asks:
-Is the soup too hot?
-Just taste the soup...
-Is the soup too cold?
-Taste the soup.
-Is there a fly in the soup?
-Taste the soup!
The waiter, tired of guessing, gives up.
-Alright, alright, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?
-Aha!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I am disgusted by the youth of today....
Let me start by saying my girlfriend is 20 years younger than me. I am 39 and my girlfriend is 19, the amount of a**... I got from a group of teenagers inside the restaurant was nothing short of vile.....comments like PEADO NONCE KIDDY FIDDLER
It totally ruined our 10 year anniversary.
The husband and the wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant
A few minutes later, the dinner was served.
Husband: The food looks great. Let's eat.
Wife: But honey, you always say a prayer before eating at home.
Husband: That's at home, sweetie. I'm sure the chef here knows how to cook.
This girl said she knew me from the vegetarian restaurant...
But I've never met herbivore!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was eating a steak in my favorite restaurant, when a girl came to my table and shouted at me: "Enjoying your meat, m**...?!"
Seriously Rachel it was 15 years ago and your dad had a knife. Jeez.
I wish that there was a restaurant named I don't care,
so I'd finally know where my girlfriend was talking about.
A "large" man is seated at a restaurant and the waiter brings an enormous steak.
A friend of the man walks by and says "Surely you're not going to eat that monstrosity alone!"
The man says, "Of course not! I also ordered mashed potatoes."
It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, "Order!!"
So I replied fried chicken, mac and cheese and cola. Now I'm being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.
I was at a restaurant and my waitress had a black eye
So I ordered really slow, because she obviously doesn't listen
A couple is dining in a restaurant when suddenly the waitress catches the man slowly sliding under the table
She sees that the woman is not bothered by this and assumes the worst...
Thinking how to approach the situation, she slowly gets to the table and quietly tells the woman:
"Ma'am, I think your husband just slid under the table for no apparent reason"
The woman turns her head and whispers:
"You're wrong my dear, my husband just entered the restaurant..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sat down in a restaurant to eat dinner last night, and the waiter asked if I'd like to hear today's special.
I said yeah
He said, today is special.
I said, I can appreciate a good dad joke, but can you tell me about the menu please.
The waiter slams his notebook down on the table, and says, sir the men I please is my own private business.
**EDIT**
Thank you for the awards!!
I went to a restaurant and they asked me "Do you mind waiting a bit?"
"Not at all", I replied.
"Good", they said, while handing me some menus. "Take these to Table 11."
So I decided to build a Restaurant on the moon
The food is great and all but there's no atmosphere.
A programmer and his colleagues attempt to enter a restaurant
Amidst their chatting, one of them approaches the receptionist:
"Table for 8, please"
"Are you sure, Mister?" she replied. "I can see there are actually 9 of you here"
"What? No, you're mistaken. We're 8 people, look"
He turns around, and begins doing a head count:
"0, 1, 2, 3..."
Two old men are sitting in the lounge chatting.
The one says, You should try the restaurant my wife and I went to last night. Pricey but well worth the money.
Oh, what's it called? asks the other man enthusiastically.
His friend thinks for a minute, Uhm…I…er…
Obviously having a senior moment he says, What's that flower, you know, war named after it, given out on Valentine's day?
The other man says, You mean the rose?
His friend lets out a gleeful, Yes! That's it, a rose!
He then turns in the chair and calls to his wife, Rose! What's the name of that place we ate at last night?
My parents decided the key to a successful marriage is going out to a fancy restaurant twice a week.
My dad goes out Mondays and my mom goes out Fridays.
I arrived early at the restaurant last night. Do you mind waiting for a bit? , the manager asked. Not at all I replied.
Good, take these drinks to table 9″
Have you guys heard about the new restaurant on the moon?
Early critics say the food is good, but there's no atmosphere.
I was at a restaurant and a cute waitress was flirting with me. She gave her email and told me to hit her up sometime. I tried to email her the next day but the internet was down.
I couldn't connect to the server
I think the Rainforest Cafe takes the whole rainforest theme too far.
This one time I was sitting there eating my chicken tenders and they bulldozed 40% of the restaurant.
Not very hungry
Me: "I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy"
Server: "... maybe the chicken strips for $6?"
Me: "... maybe it does, but that doesn't help with my hunger."
Random dad across the restaurant: "GOOD ONE!"
Two men sit down at a restaurant.
A waitress comes to their table and takes their drink order. When she returns a few minutes later with their beverages, she finds them both eating sandwiches out of paper bags. "Hey!" she says, "you can't eat your own food here!" So they trade sandwiches.
Two lawyers sit down in a restaurant...
Two lawyers sit down in a restaurant and open their briefcases, take out sandwiches, and start eating. A waitress comes up and says, "Excuse me, sirs, you can't eat your own food here." The lawyers shrug and exchange sandwiches.
You know how in restaurants they often ask you if you prefer bottled water or tap water?
In Flint, the waiter asks you, "Regular or Unleaded?"
One day, Obi-Wan and Luke visit a Chinese restaurant...
Obi-Wan is eating normally, but Luke is having so much trouble with the chopsticks he's spilling the food all over the table.
Eventually, Obi-Wan becomes angry and says, "Use the forks, Luke!"
I'm thinking about opening up a Swedish restaurant but my chef isn't actually Swedish
Do you think anyone will notice I'm using an artificial Swedener on my food?
The wife and I walked passed a swanky, expensive restaurant last night.
She said "The aroma of their cooking from there is absolutely gorgeous"
Being a spontaneous sort of guy, I thought I would treat her. So I turned her around and we walked past it again.
A resourceful woman...
A woman gets into a very busy restaurant around lunch time.
She is told the next available table would be free in an hour.
She holds her phone to her ear, and with a loud voice says:
"*Honey, you won't believe it, but your husband is having lunch with his girlfriend at so-and-so restaurant*"
Half the diners instantly get up and rush to the exit..
Little Boy Prayer
A little boy was eating in a restaurant for his birthday, when he started eating without a prayer. His parents turn to him and say, we say a prayer before eating in our house! The little boy replies, yeah, that's in our house but here the chef knows how to cook!"
So i just ate at this new restaurant called Karma
They don't have menus, they just give you what you deserve.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Scotsman
A Scotsman and his wife walk past a swanky new restaurant. Did you smell that? she asked her husband. It smells absolutely incredible! Being a kind-hearted Scotsman, he thought what the h**...…I'll treat her!
So, they walked past the place again!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wouldn't say Scotsmen are cheap but...
A Scotsmen and a Jewish man were having a magnificent meal at one of the most expensive restaurants in The world. After the meal their waiter came over to present the check and a Scottish voice said "that's all right laddie just g**... the check to me".
Headlines in the local newspaper next day read: "Jewish ventriloquist found beaten to death".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders minced pork shoulder and ham, pressed it into a block and served in a can.
POST REMOVED
**Rule 3 - No Spam posts.**
What does Hillary Clinton say when she's unhappy at a restaurant?
Can I have a different server?
A black hole and a nebula go out to lunch...
A black hole and a nebula are at a restaurant. The nebula orders a ginormous amount of food and the black hole only orders a drink and a small appetizer.
The nebula says the the black hole, "Are you sure you don't want more?"
The black hole replies, "Nah, I eat light"
Did you hear about the new Italian restaurant that just opened in the afterlife?
It's called Pasta Way.
A man walked by a restaurant in London
He noticed all the customers drinking tea in saucers.
He asked one of them as to why he was drinking tea in a saucer.
With tears in his eyes, he replied, The Italians have taken away our cup"
I was eating soup one day outside my favorite restaurant and it started raining..
Took me hours to finish my meal.
You guys heard about this new Spiderman restaurant?
Don't bother bringing cash. All the orders are web only.
Two old men are sitting in the lounge chatting.
The one says, You should try the restaurant my wife and I went to last night. Pricey but well worth the money.
Oh, what's it called? asks the other man enthusiastically.
His friend thinks for a minute, Uhm…I…er…
Obviously having a senior moment he says, What's that flower, you know, war named after it, given out on Valentine's day?
The other man says, You mean the rose?
His friend lets out a gleeful, Yes! That's it, a rose!
He then turns in the chair and calls to his wife, Rose! What's the name of that place we ate at last night?
Interesting accents!
3 hefty women walk into a restaurant, and sit down at a table. The server comes to take their drink orders. When they're done ordering he says, "What an interesting accent! Are you broads from Scotland?"
One woman looks at him with surprise and disgust and says, "WALES!"
The bartender says, "Okay, fine. Are you whales from Scotland?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The best way to lose weight is to eat n**... in front of a mirror.
The restaurant will ask you to leave before you can eat too much.
A Woman goes to the Optician
for her annual eye test. The Optician puts a contraption her face and asks her what can she see.
"I see empty airports, I see empty football grounds. I see closed theatres, closed pubs and closed restaurants"
"That's perfect" says the Optician "You've got 2020 vision"
My girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess
So I took her to Paris.
We went to wonderful restaurants and stayed in an expensive hotel.
Then I crashed our car in a tunnel and she died.
Good news! Now that OnlyFans is getting rid of adult content
Your local restaurants will be able to hire servers again.
To impress his date, Ron took her to a very chic Italian restaurant.
After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered for the both of them. "We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said.
"That's the manager." said the waiter.
2 older couple were having breakfast
Old man 1: We went to the best restaurant last night
Old man 2: What's it's name?
Old man 1: Oh, I have such a terrible memory. What's that red flower?
Old man 2: Carnation?
Old man 1: No, the one with the thorns.
Old man 2: Rose?
Old man 1: That's it. (turns to his wife) Hey Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?
Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a restaurant, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."
Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"
"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"
That's when Arnold trows himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"
"And who will you be, Arnold?"
"I'll be Bach."
Me and the girlfriend went to the restaurant for the first time in ages.
The Waiter said, I am sorry but we are so busy tonight.
Would you mind waiting for a bit? I said no problem.
He said well take these drinks to table. 5.
What do chess and eating at a restaurant in Australia have in common?
They both end with a check mate
Today, I walked into a restaurant.
"Hi, is my table ready?"
"No, not yet sir. Do you mind waiting?"
"No, that's okay."
"Great, take these salads to table six then."
I once went to a Native American restaurant but was turned away.
They told me it was reservation only.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why doesn't Yelp remove fake reviews of Indian restaurants?
Because everyone likes a little naan fiction
