Responsibility Jokes
63 responsibility jokes and hilarious responsibility puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about responsibility that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover how humor can be used to illustrate the importance of taking responsibility. This article explores corporate and personal responsibility jokes, examining the potential upsides and downsides. Read on to learn more about the implications of these jokes for both Republicans and Democrats.
Quick Jump To
- Short Responsibility Jokes
- Responsibility One Liners
- Personal Responsibility Jokes
- More Responsibility Jokes
Funniest Responsibility Short Jokes
Short responsibility jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The responsibility humour may include short responsible jokes also.
- Why is spiderman so good at comebacks? Because with great power comes great response ability.
- I heard some guy tell two terrible Malaysian Airline jokes... The first one got no response and the second one was shot down in flames
- Humans are scared of hippos because they're violent and responsible for hundreds of deaths per year, when in reality, people kill way more people per year... ...so that's just being hippocritical...
- Interviewer: "We're looking for someone who is responsible." Me: "A lot of things went wrong at my last job and everyone said I was responsible. "
- I watched Into The Spiderverse and I wondered how Spider-Man always comes up with his witty comebacks. Then it it me with great power comes great response ability.
- BREAKING: North korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery. They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
- My grandfather was responsible for 35 downed German planes in WWII. Still to this day he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
- A Mexican magician works on Microsoft Windows Uno, and *p**...*, DOS is gone without a tres.
- The principal at my school called me in to his office today. He said "I've just had a rock thrown through my window, are you responsible?" No, I'm irresponsible. That's why I threw it.
- Interview Employer: This is an important job, we need someone who is responsible.
Applicant: I'm the one you want!
At my last job, every time there was a problem, they said I was responsible.
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Responsibility One Liners
Which responsibility one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with responsibility? I can suggest the ones about duty and commitment.
- With great reflexes... Comes great response ability.
- What is the worst response to "I love you"? "I'm still pulling the plug Grandma"
- Why is Stephen hawking successful? He can't run away from his responsibilities.
- Donald J Trump was asked what the J in his name stood for His response? "Genius".
- Being tall is an enormous responsibility Short people look up to you.
- Pakistan makes nuclear threat in response to fake news The struggle Israel
- What did the chemist say in response to a clever joke about helium? He He :))
- The only person responsible for dandruff prevention is you. It falls on your shoulders.
- The American COVID-19 response I don't even need to say anything else it's already a joke
- Being a Calculator must be a huge responsibility... everyone is counting on them.
- What was that Spiderman quote again? With great reflexes, comes great response ability.
- I'm not the kind to walk away from responsibility I run
- Why do deaf people make such good workers? Because they're never ear-response-able.
- 25% of your roof has been blown off due to a hurricane! What's your response? oof!
- What do you call a bird with no responsibilities? A millennial falcon
Personal Responsibility Jokes
Here is a list of funny personal responsibility jokes and even better personal responsibility puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My great-grandad was personally responsible for bringing down over 30 German aircraft in WW2. All the other mechanics in the Luftwaffe never really liked him though.
- People ask me "Why are you single? You're attractive, intelligent, and have an amazing personality". My response: "I'm overqualified".
- Two guys were sitting in a bar One said to another : "I slept with your mom last night".
The whole bar was waiting for other persons response.
Then he says "Let's go home dad. You're drunk". - I'm a very responsible person When something bad happens, everyone says I'm responsible for it
- In Italy, to say that a person is no more a child and should be a responsible person, we say that he is "adulto e vaccinato" that translated means "adult and vaccinated" I think it's a redundancy
- People can change Even h**... went from being an anti-semite to finally killing the person responsible for death of million jews.
- In response to the "How do you starve a black person" joke. I like my coffee like I like my slaves. Free, you racist s**...!
Happy Responsibility Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about responsibility you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean leadership jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make responsibility pranks.
I have finally punched my membership card into Dad jokes!
So last night my 12 year old son and I are watching the Little League World Series. The pitcher for the Nevada team has a last name of "Kryszczuk". My son looks to me and asks "Do you think he's Russian?"
My response: Nope, it looks like he's taking his time.
It took him a couple of seconds to realize and then he gave me that wonderful "Really, Dad?" look. I'm so proud.
A Korean and a Jew
Jew: Hey... weren't you people responsible for Pearl Harbor?
Korean: Uh... that was the Japanese. I'm Korean.
Jew: Pffft, Japanese, Chinese, Korean. What's the difference?
Korean: Well wait, weren't you people responsible for sinking the Titanic?
Jew: Uh... that was an iceberg.
Korean: Pffft, Rosenberg, Goldberg, iceberg... What's the difference?
A husband sends a text to his wife.
Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the hospital. They have been taking tests and doing x-rays. The blow to my head is very strong, may be serious. Also, I have 3 broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture on my left leg and they may have to amputate the right foot.
Wife's Response:
Who is Tina?
After s**... last night...
...my new girlfriend snuggled up next to me and said, "You know, you are by far the biggest I've ever had". Apparently "Ditto" is not the right response.
There were two sisters
There were two sisters named Petal and Fridge.
One day Petal was curious and asked her father, "Why was I named Petal?"
His response was, "Well, when you were a baby a flower petal fell on you."
Then Fridge says, "BLARGHHHALHGLAHG".
Husband send a text to his wife
Husband's text:
>Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office.
Paula brought me to the Hospital.
Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays.
Severe blow to my head but not likely to have any lasting effects. Wound required 19 stitches.
I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and compound fracture in the left leg. Amputation of my right foot is a possibility.
Love you.
Wife's response:
>Who's Paula?
The funny thing about teen pregnancy is that before it happens all you hear is "Don't do it! You'll regret it! You'll lose your freedom! Make the responsible choice!" Then after it happens, they say "We're a still disappointed, but we can still make the best of this. It's not the end of the world."
s**... auto-correct: I meant "Trump's presidency" not "teen pregnancy".
What if aliens are responsible for global warming?
And this is just their way of breaking the ice.
After s**... with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had."
Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said,"We're looking for someone who is responsible"
..."Well Im your man" I replied,"In my last job, whenever anything went wrong they said I was responsible"
A man visits his 70th class reunion
He drinks a fair amount there and then asks for his crush from high school's hand in marriage. She accepts and then they drink some more. The next morning the man remembers that he had asked the woman to marry him but not her response, so he calls her up and asks if she said yes. She replies, "Of course I said yes. Thank goodness you called me though." The man, puzzled asks why. She replies "I had forgotten to whom I had said yes to."
My wife caught me m**... to an optical illusion.
In response, I told her, It's not what it looks like.
I had s**... with my new girlfriend for the first time last night.
When we finished, she rolled off of me and said "wow, you're by far the biggest I've ever had!" Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
o**... wrote on his FB status:
"Last night, even after having 7 drinks I felt confident to drive, but l acted responsibly & took an Uber."
400 Likes, 40 Comments. But the best comment was from his best friend:
"Where did you go in UBER bro, party was in your house"
"The word of the day is 'contagious'" Said the teacher, "Who can use it in a sentence?"
Little Jenny stood up and said "My dad has a cold and said its contagious"
The teacher praised Jenny and ask for an example from another student.
Billy stood up and said "Miss, my mum has the flu, and I think its contagious"
Happy with Billy's response, the teacher asked for one more student to stand up and give an example.
Little Johnny stood up...
"Miss, my next door neighbour is painting his house with a 1 inch brush and my dad said its going to take the contagious."
A Husband and Wife at Custody court
The judge looks sternly at the ex wife.
Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child?
Ex wife: I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him
Judge: that is a simple yet good reason.
Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband.
Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?
The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence. He replies
Ex Husband: if I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Is it mine or the machines?
President Biden visits a fully vaccinated senior home
After a heartful speech in which he thanked the staff for their effort and the residents for their sacrifices he was doing the hand-shaking round. As he greeted a particular old woman who appeared to be quite "out of it", he asked her, "Do you know who I am?". Her response was simply, "No, but there's a nice woman at the front desk who can tell you!"
After dying h**... arrives at the gates of heaven
God asks him his name and on hearing "h**..." instantly remarks that he should be sent to h**.... h**... pleads to God to atleast consider some merit for him in heaven. To this God rumbles " You persecuted millions of Jews, led a second world war to happen and caused the German people to suffer a lot. On what possible merit would we consider admitting you into heaven ?"
h**... calmly replies "My Lord, I am also responsible for killing that man"
A global crisis broke out, affecting every nation and people of all kinds
In response, the world banded together and quickly solved the problem through mutual cooperation and understanding
A taste of what my wife has to deal with
My wife was stepping on my back and she suddenly asked "How do dominatrixs not kill people when they do this with stilettos. Do they have to get certified or classes?"
I told her "The only certification for d**... is a master's degree"
Top tier groan in response.
I went for an interview for a job today and the manager said, We're looking for someone who's responsible.
Well, I'm your man!! I replied, In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.
A man is convinced is wife is going deaf, but she won't admit it. So he decides to test his theory once and for all.
While she's standing at the sink, he stands about six steps behind her and says, "What's for dinner, dear?"
When there's no answer, he steps a few steps closer and repeats the question.
Again there's no response, so he moves right to his wife's shoulder and asks: "What's for dinner, dear?"
At this his wife turns around angrily and says, "For the third time, sausages!"
A man goes into a bar and sees a woman
He asks "Would you spend the night with me for $10,000 dollars". The woman says" Yes". The man then asks if she would stay the night for $1.00. Her response is "No, what do you think I am?" The man then says, "We have established what you are and now are negotiating the price".
Wife: You keep on finding ways to avoid taking responsibility for your wrongdoing.
Me: I'm truly sorry that you feel this way.
An Apple Factory in China is expected to cut production of iPhones by 18% in response to ongoing worker protests.
The workers' main demand is "more playtime".
My boss just called me to tell me I'm responsible for the collapse of another bank.
I said What? How can that be possible. I don't even work in finance. I'm a builder
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
Mi son then went on to say !!! I went for a job interview today and the manager said,"We're looking for someone who is responsible"
..."Well I'm your man" I replied,"In my last job, whenever anything went wrong they said I was responsible"
My 11-year-old made me laugh with these !!!
