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Resolve Jokes

26 resolve jokes and hilarious resolve puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about resolve that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Resolve Short Jokes

Short resolve jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The resolve humour may include short resolution jokes also.

  1. My stalker just threatened to kill herself, if I didn't love her back. It's really nice when problems resolves themselves like that.
  2. A week after the G7 Summit, they should have the C Major Summit That would resolve everything.
  3. They should have a follow-up to the G7 summit a week later. They could call it the the C Major summit. Maybe that would resolve everything.
  4. Anne Frank showed a cunning and resolve that any Jew would have been proud of. Two years rent free.
  5. A Muslim and a Christian had a disagreement in a bar... ...so they talked it over and resolved their differences because they are both Canadians.
  6. According to the Time Honoured British Tradition... They are now outsourcing their problems to some Indian guy when they invest neither the resources or time or skill to resolve it themselves.
  7. We all know about the American Civil War... But the Canadian Civil War was resolved with a handshake and an apology... making it more civil than any war ever.
  8. My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I didn't love her back. It's nice when problems resolve themselves like that.
  9. I expect the Musk-Twitter feud to take a really long time to resolve I mean, one should expect Elon-gate to drag out
  10. They weren't pleased that I played I heavy metal song in the church but I resolved it on Gsus

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Resolve One Liners

Which resolve one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with resolve? I can suggest the ones about solves and repair.

  1. This year I resolve to be more confident and assertive... ...if that's ok with you guys.
  2. Gin is the Ionian mode of liquors... it will always resolve with tonic.
  3. Hey beautiful, is your name C#... Because I see you resolving on this D
  4. I'm pretty sure the G7 summit will resolve.... To a C Major
  5. What did the mathematician use to resolve his constipation problem? A log...
  6. What do you call someone who resolves construction toy disputes? A duplomat
  7. To resolve a traffic jam Just turn off your ignition.
  8. How do theoretical physicists resolve legal matters? They SU(3) each other.

Resolve joke, How do theoretical physicists resolve legal matters?

Happy Resolve Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about resolve you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean settle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make resolve pranks.

Two women were fighting for the last available seat on the bus.

No amount of reasoning was helping the bus driver resolve the issue. In desperation he grabbed his training manual and announced:
'The policy is to allow the seat to go to the uglier one.'
Both women stood for the remainder of the trip.

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian...

...are in The Louvre, looking at a painting of Adam and Eve.
"Behold!" says the Englishman. "Their resolve in adversity. Their stoicism. They must be English!".
"Nonsense!" cries the Frenchman. "Look at them. They are elegant. They are poised. They are beautiful. Surely they must be French?".
The Russian is quiet for a moment. Then he speaks.
"They have no clothes. They have no shelter. They have only apple to eat between them and are being told this is paradise.
They are Russian".

I always wanted a skateboard.

So one day I asked my mom for a skateboard. She said no as it was too expensive. So I came up with an idea to resolve my problem - I grabbed a plank of wood and some nails.
And beat her to death.

Guilty and Depression!

A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist.
"Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."
"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."
"For Pete's sake, NO!" exclaimed the woman. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward."

Doctor joke

Two doctors mortally offend each other and resolve to fight a duel. But they have no clue about the traditional dueling weapons -- swords, pistols, etc. After some thought, they decide to use the most deadly weapon of which each is an undoubted expert: They exchange prescriptions.

A kid walks into a grocery store

Looks at the cashier with intimidating eyes "Give me this food free of charge or I'll do what my father did"
Fearful for his apparent resolve the cashier lets him leave uncharged.
2nd day the kid back says the same thing, the cashier feels obliged to answer his request.
This goes on for a week and then the cashier asks "What did your father do?"
The kid replies "He went to sleep hungry"

A blonde woman's first day at live software support..

She was giving help to customers through live chats.
She eventually got sick and busted right into the boss's office.
Woman: This is infuriating! Every time I try to help someone resolve their problems, they just hang up on me!
Boss: Whoa, whoa.... Relax. Okay, tell me what exactly happened? Did you say something to them?
Woman: Well, all I did was ask them to try restarting their computer!

Nitpicking

To resolve conflicts between management and staff, I brought both sides together and asked employees to jot down key words on a flip chart. One participant complained about management's tendency to interfere and wrote the word nitpicking. A manager leaped to his feet to ask, Shouldn't there be a hyphen between nit and picking?

What did the father tell his son to strengthen his resolve of becoming the PM of UK?

Where there's a will, Theresa May.

Son: Dad, what's the most unforgettable incident in your life ?

IT Dad: Son, its INC0000038764. Took me forever to resolve.
Happy father's day !!

Resolve joke, Son: Dad, what's the most unforgettable incident in your life ?