Reserve Jokes
57 reserve jokes and hilarious reserve puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about reserve that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Enjoy a good laugh with jokes from the Federal Reserve, Army Reserve, Bank, Naval and Arena. Here is a collection of funny jokes that everyone can share and enjoy!
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Funniest Reserve Short Jokes
Short reserve jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reserve humour may include short reservation jokes also.
- I once went to a Native American restaurant but was turned away. They told me it was reservation only.
- Why does the Native American always get a table at the nicest restaurants? He has a reservation.
- Hotel Indian. Did you hear about the Indian who had to sleep in the hotel lobby because he didn't have a reservation?
- l made $48m today and I'm STILL having burger King for dinner. Just another day working at the Federal Reserve.
- I called the library to try to make a reservation... But they said they were fully booked.
- I'm starting to have second thoughts about the hotel room I booked at the Indian Casino this weekend. simply put, I'm having reservations about my reservation on the reservation.
- Dating a girl with an OnlyFans is a lot like having your own private, reserved parking spot. Anyone and everyone can see it, but only you actually get to use it.
- If you're having second thoughts about dinner plans on tribal lands... I guess you're having... Reservations about reservations on the reservation.
- A Cherokee chief walks into a hotel. The receptionist: You have a reservation?
Yeah you're right. The Cherokee chief walks away. - The Federal Reserve is fighting a war against inflation Journalists are calling it a conflict of interest
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Reserve One Liners
Which reserve one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reserve? I can suggest the ones about avail and capacity.
- Why did the Native American sleep in the hotel lobby? He didn't have a reservation.
- "Yes, I have reservations, but I'll eat here anyway." - my dad to every hostess ever
- Why didn't the native Americans go out to dinner? They lost their reservations.
- Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
- I couldn't get past first base with the native girl she had her reservations
- Most Native Americans don't like me. Or at least they have reservations.
- My wife says she is really looking forward to the hotel... But I have my reservations.
- How do you get into a Native American restaurant? You make a reservation
- Whose the best team in the NFL this year? The injured reserve
- I wanted to see where the Native Americans lived.... but I have my reservations...
- What kind of car does the chairperson of the Federal Reserve drive? A Fiat
- If a parking spot says Reserved can I park there if I don't talk much?
- I wanted to reserve a copy of a new novel coming out But they were all booked
- The hostess said my name wasn't on the list but I had my reservations
- Last summer I planned to elope with my Cherokee fiancé but she had her reservations.
Federal Reserve Jokes
Here is a list of funny federal reserve jokes and even better federal reserve puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If you're going to file a lawsuit against the Federal Reserve what medicine should you take? Sudafed
- What did the man who blamed his nasal congestion on the federal reserve do in response? Sudafed
- What does Roger Federer call his backup racket? The Federer Reserve
- Where does the Federal Reserve hide all of its dirty profits? In debasement.
- Why did the 007 movie about the Federal Reserve being robbed flop in theaters? Because there's just not much interest left in the Bond.
- How can you tell when money is counterfeit? It has the words "federal reserve note" written on it.
Army Reserve Jokes
Here is a list of funny army reserve jokes and even better army reserve puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why are there no gay men in the army reserves? All of the fruits are diploid
Hilarious Reserve Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about reserve you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean guard jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make reserve pranks.
A Briton, a Frenchman, and a Russian are standing and staring at a portrait of Adam and Eve...
"Look at their calm, their reserve" says the Briton. "Surely they must be British!"
"Nonsense!" Replies the Frenchman. "They are beautiful. Surely they must be French!"
The Russian finally speaks, "they have no clothes, no shelter, only an apple to eat, and are being told this is paradise. They are Russian."
A mummy calls a restauraunt.
- Hello, I'd like to reserve a table for the pharaoh Sakhrakhotep I.
- Could you spell it out, please?
- Of course. Bird, two triangles, wavy line, the sun, bird again, jackal's head and a scarab.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man went skydiving for the first time. "It's easy," said the instructor.
"Just count to five and pull on the main c**...," the instructor continued. "If that doesn't open, count to ten and pull on the reserve c**...."
"Super easy," he concluded. "Then you'll float slowly to the ground, and our bus will be there to drive you back to the airport."
The man jumped out the plane, and pulled on the main c**.... Nothing happened. He pulled on the reserve c**.... Nothing happened.
He looked down at the ground which was approaching fast, and said: "I bet that bus won't be there to pick me up either."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Brit, A Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the garden of Eden
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit."They must be British"
They pondered this possibility but the Frenchman and the Russians soon shake their heads in disagreement.
"Nonsense," says the Frenchman. "They're n**... and so beautiful, clearly they are French". The Brit and Russian agreed on this point but the Russian soon raises an objection to this.
"No clothes, no shelter and they have only an apple to eat but they're told this is Paradise. They are clearly Russian"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Questions
At the skydiving training course, the instructor would take time to answer some of the First Timer Questions.o**... asked: If our c**... doesn't open.....and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have till we hit the ground? The instructor looked at him and in perfect deadpan answered: The rest of your life.
If you were to second guess your decision to stay at a hotel on a native american reserve...
....that would be a reservation reservation reservation
-credit to Brian Regan
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to buy a parachute
He asks the cashier,
what happens if the parachute fails to deploy?
The cashier responds: Oh, Just pull the reserve c**..., you will be fine.
The man asks again: What if the reserve c**... fails???
The cashier responds: Well, In that case bring it back and we will give you a full refund!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Where do they store surplus belly b**...?
The naval reserve.
^^^I'm ^^^so ^^^sorry...
Some lions just escaped a nature reserve in South Africa
They were rejected from their group.
They could maybe ask to be let in the group again
But their pride wouldn't let them.
I just ate all the insects in our nature reserve, and my boss is about to find out...
I've got butterflies in my stomach.
I wanted to open a place where people could drink and go dancing. A portion of all proceeds would be donated to a nature reserve where threatened species could breed and raise their offspring in peace. But I had to close it down.
I really thought Club Baby Seals was going to be a bigger hit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the Barbie factory do when it ran out of belly b**...?
They called the the navel reserve, naturally.
After coming out of hibernation the Philae Lander has some tough decisions.
Reserve that free Windows 10 upgrade or not...?
What did the eskimo say when he found out that his pet seal had been stealing from his fish reserve?
"Inuit!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Fast Thinker
Guy's first time parachuting... yada yada c**... fails, reserve fails. He's falling. But he sees a speck coming up toward him, faster than he's falling. He realizes it's a guy and figuring he has nothing to lose, he yells,
"Hey do you know anything about parachutes?"
and as they pass the other guy yells back,
"Sorry man, I don't . Do you know anything about propane BBQs?"
Hi, I'd like to reserve a table for 5 O'Clock?
Employee: Sir... this is... McDonald's
Me: Oh apologies, my bad... I'd like to McReserve a table for 5 O'Clock
Life on a game reserve is like a box of Celebrations
What'd the Secretary of State say when the oil tanker spilled on the seal reserve?
Whale at least it wasn't on porpoise
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I tried to reserve WhipAdvisor.com for a new forum about car mods...
but it looks like the s**... community beat me to the punch!
Two hunters in the forest
Our story is set out in a wooded hunting reserve. Two men, carrying a backpack and gun each, trekked out into the forest in search of game.
After an hour or two in the forest, one of the hunters keels over and collapses on the ground. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed over. The other hunter calls 911. The operator picks up.
"Nine-One-One, what is your emergency?"
"Help! I think my friend might be dead!" The hunter cries.
The operator calmly responds "Okay, I know how to help."
"What do I do?" the hunter replies.
"First of all, you have to make sure he's really dead." The operator says.
There's a silence. Then a gunshot.
"Okay, now what?"
A Briton, a Frenchman, a Russian and a North Korean . . .
A Briton, a Frenchman, a Russian and a North Korean are standing and staring at a portrait of Adam and Eve . . .
"Look at their calm and reserve," says the Briton. "Surely they must be British!"
"Nonsense," replies the Frenchman, "they are beautiful: surely they must be French!"
"They have no clothes, no shelter, only an apple to eat and are being told this is paradise," says the Russian. "They are Russian."
The group looks expectantly to the North Korean.
"What?" says the North Korean. "They have an apple."
Guy jumps out of a plane.
a man that was about to jump out of a plane asks his instructor one last time "what happens if the parachute doesn't open" the instructor says "that is very unlikely, but if it happens, put your hands together and say Buddha Buddha Buddha" the guy thinks that is strange and jumps out of the plane anyway. On his way down he pulls the reserve and the thing doesn't open. He then panics, puts his hands together and says "buddha buddha buddha" sure enough two fluffy hands come from out of the clouds, swoop him up and go to lightly set him on the ground. the man relieved to be saved shouts out "THANK GOD" the hands disappear and he falls to his death.
Why was a guy arrested for peeing on Indian land?
He was on a Nipissing reserve.
I called in a reserve player... from the wrong team!
Whoops, wrong sub
