Reservation Jokes

What are some Reservation jokes?

Why did the Native American sleep in the hotel lobby?

He didn't have a reservation.

I once went to a Native American restaurant but was turned away.

They told me it was reservation only.

Why does the Native American always get a table at the nicest restaurants?

He has a reservation.

"Yes, I have reservations, but I'll eat here anyway."

- my dad to every hostess ever

Hotel Indian.

Did you hear about the Indian who had to sleep in the hotel lobby because he didn't have a reservation?

A car broke down on a Native Reservation...

...so the driver got out to see what was going on. He lifted the hood, looked in, and noticed there was something wrong with the motor piston. Without any tools or cell service, he sighed, shut the hood and leaned on his car and waited for a passerby. Finally, a truck came around the bend so he waved it down and the truck pulled over. Inside was a few Native Americans, and asked, "what's wrong?"

"Piston broke", he replied.

"So are we. Get in."

The Indian with a great memory

When I was a kid, everyone all over the country would come to visit the Indian reservation to meet one person. He was the only man in the world to have a perfect memory, but people were only allowed to ask one question. My family decided to go visit him for ourselves, and when we got there I had the perfect question.
"Excuse me sir, what did you have for breakfast when you were 15 years old?"
He replied, "Eggs." and that was that. I was disappointed by his answer, but there was nothing I could do.
Ten years later I recognized the man sitting by himself in a park. I walked up to him, held my hand up with the palm up, and said "How". He said "Scrambled."

I'm starting to have second thoughts about the hotel room I booked at the Indian Casino this weekend.

simply put, I'm having reservations about my reservation on the reservation.

The Native American Weatherman

A director is shooting a movie in a desert near an Indian reservation. One day, a native american comes up to him and says "Rain today."

The director doesn't pay much attention, but towards the middle of the day, it rains. The director is now impressed, and instantly hires the native american to predict weather for him.

The cycle continues until the director is about to shoot the most important scene of the film. He asks the native: "What's the weather like today?" He says "Don't know."

"What? What do you mean you don't know?"

"Radio broken."

Why you should never end a sentence with a preposition.

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a
nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.

The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.' When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want."

The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4'," he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved and took a spoonful of the medicine. Then he invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"

Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes. Then she asked, "What was the '1-2-3' for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

There was a guy on a road trip who stopped at a rest stop at an Indian reservation

While paying for his items he asked that clerk about a strange man standing out front. The cashier said that's Running Wolf, he remembers everything. On his way out the man deciding to try out the Indians memory asks him what he had for breakfast. The Indian replies "Eggs". The man is slightly impressed but decides he has no better questions and leaves. Years latter the man unknowingly stops at the same rest stop and when he sees an old Indian man he greets him by saying "How". The Indian replies "Scrambled".

Grammer is important

On his 75th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.

After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.

The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder warned, 'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.'

When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want."

The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"

Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

I'm having second thoughts about booking time to visit an Indian community.

I guess I'm having reservation reservation reservations.

An Indian man arrives at the reception of a hotel...

An Indian man arrives at the reception of a hotel and asks for a room for the night. The receptionist says "of course, sir, do you have a reservation?"
To which he replies "I'm not that kind of Indian!"

A pharaoh makes a reservation in a restaurant:

"Can I reserve a table for two?"

"Sure just give me a name."

"Semerkhet."

"Would you spell it for me?"

"Bird, double triangle, wavy line, another bird, dog head, sun, scarab..."

A Pharoah makes a reservation at a ski resort...

Pharaoh: I'd like to make a reservation for two please.

Attendant: Absolutely. Can I get your name please.

Pharoah: "Neferneferuaten"

Attendant: ...can you spell that out for me?

Pharaoh: Bird, double triangle, wavy line, dog head, more bird, flames..."

What is it called when you're having second thoughts about booking a room at a Native American casino?

A reservation reservation reservation.

A Cherokee chief walks into a hotel.

The receptionist: You have a reservation?

Yeah you're right. The Cherokee chief walks away.

A fine wine

The Navajo woman accepted my offer of a lift to the reservation, but didn't seem inclined to say much more. I noticed a look of ill-disguised disapproval as she got in the car, lingering for a moment on my exposed cleavage, but that was all – she gazed stonily ahead while the car pulled away, leaving a trail of hot Nevada dust in the rear view mirror.

After a few failed attempts at small talk, and my knowledge of her culture exhausted, I kept quiet, and concentrated instead on the evening ahead: a quick bath before Jim returned from work, followed by a dinner with Michael, his boss, at Bon Vivant, the new French restaurant.

The Navajo woman eyed the silk-wrapped bottle of expensive Cabernet Sauvignon I'd bought, as it rattled gently on the dashboard, and said, 'What is in parcel?'

Though a bit surprised by her directness, I was pleased at the conversation, and I replied, 'A bottle of wine – I got it for my husband.'

She nodded thoughtfully, seeming to approve, and then replied, 'A good trade.'

Indian chief

So there's this Indian reservation, and the food stamps are 3 days late. People are starting to get uppity about it. So the local chief has to leave and go talk to the government people about it. He doesn't know English very well, so he is scared. But he makes sure not to let other see fear on his face. He goes down to the office, gets in line, and an old woman yells to him from the side of the room "hey! What's your name?"

He answers "Red Eagle Circle Water."

The woman replies "You don't hear a name like that every day."

The chief is confused, and he says back "Yeah I do."

If you were to second guess your decision to stay at a hotel on a native american reserve...

....that would be a reservation reservation reservation

-credit to Brian Regan

All the good restaurants are racist.

Apparently they only serve native americans, because every time I ask for a table they tell me I need to have a reservation.

If you were to second guess your decision on booking a trip to a Native American community...

That would be a reservation reservation reservation!

A guy walks into a hotel

He asks at the front desk for his reservation .

The manager asks about his details and then gives him the key.

The guest then takes his room key and goes into the elevator.

After half an hour he comes back and angrily complains the manger that he couldn't find his room

The manager calmly replies," Well what did you expect when you booked room 404?."

A black man gets lost on an indian reservation

So he stops at an old general store for directions. Upon pulling up to the store he is met by an old, wise Najavo man sitting in a rocking chair on the porch. He approaches the man and asks "excuse me, but how do I get back onto the interstate?"

The old sage thinks for a moment, and in traditional Najavo style he points with his lips instead of his hands. "Go down that road, take a left, past the barn. Ya can't miss it"

The black man smiles and decides to play along. "I get it. Down that road, left, past the barn", he says proudly, pointing with his lips.

"No", replies the indian. "Not that far".

How do you get into a Native American restaurant?

You make a reservation

Kylie Jenner Walks into a restaurant

Kylie Jenner walks into a restaurant where she has made a reservation. The waiter greets her politely, and says, "Right this way Mrs. Jenner" and begins leader her to her table. "Please," she says, "Mrs. Jenner is my father. Call me Kylie.

A catholic priest and an Indian named John...

One Friday afternoon on the reservation John and his family were starving. John, being a great hunter, went out and killed a deer to feed his wife and kids.

A catholic priest sees this and says, "John! What are you doing? You cannot eat meat on a Friday!"

John says to the priest, "It's not meat, it's fish!"

The priest couldn't believe his ears. He quickly replied, "It is meat and you should not tell lies, John!"

John says, "I assure you father, it is fish."

Cofused and curious the father ask John, "Why do you say it is fish?"

John says, "I sprinkled water on it and I said from meat you become fish."

The priest yells at John, "You cannot do that!"

John says, "Why not father? When I met you I was Mapuche, then you sprinkled water on me and I became John."

Lately, i called a chinese restaurant for a reservation

i also mentioned that i would bring my little dog.
They told me: "No outside food allowed!"

What a Night

This morning, as I lie on my bed thinking about you, I have this strong urge to grab you... because I just can't forget about last night. Late in the balmy night, unexpectedly, you came to me in my bed and what happened there still leaves a tingling sensation in me.

You appeared out of nowhere and shamelessly, without reservation, you laid on my naked body without guilt or humiliation. You drove me crazy until you had sucked me dry. Only after you were finally satisfied did I fall asleep, but today, when I woke up, you were gone. I've searched for you everywhere, to no avail. My sheets still bear witness to last night's events, as does my body, which still shows your mark, making it that much harder to forget you.

Tonight I promise to remain awake and wait for you and as soon as you appear, I will grab you and never let you go. This time you won't disappear. And I won't rest until I squeeze the life out of you and destroy you once and for all, you damned mosquito!

Why did Batman make a dinner reservation for one?

Because he was planning a family dinner.

Sorry if this joke has been repeated

If someone...

If someone is having second thoughts about booking a trip in native American territory, you could say they are having a reservation reservation reservation.

...

Good thing self posts don't grant negative karma >.>

So this Pharaoh was making a dinner reservation...

Tutankhamen- I'd like to make a reservation for dinner, it's a special occasion. Name, Tutankhamen.

Restaurant Host- Oh, nice, who will you be dining with?

Tutankhamen- Oh my wife, also my sister and step-mother.

Restaurant Host- Ok, I'll put you in for a table for four, near the grotto.

Tutankhamen- Four? I'm just bringing Ankhesenamun.

My boyfriend and I are Cherokee Indians. He stood me up at our favorite restaurant last night...

But it's OK. I don't think we could have stayed anyway, we didn't have a reservation.

What do you call it if you were to second guess your decision to book time at a native american community?

That's a reservation reservation reservation.

(Credit to Brian Regan)

A Cherokee chief walks into a hotel.

The receptionist: You have a reservation?

The Cherokee chief walks away, feeling insulted and depressed.

Reservations

A couple walk into a nice restaurant on Friday night, hoping to get a table. Upon seeing the couple, the host asks the couple, "Do you have reservations?" The wife replies, "Yes, but we'll eat here anyway."

An upset orator wants to talk to us about his reservation being cancelled

but he has no room to speak.

I booked a trip to visit the Cherokee in Oklahoma this summer, but I'm having second thoughts...

I'm having a reservation reservation reservation.

Going to Greece on holiday

So I was planning on going to Greece on holiday this summer, I call the hotel to make a reservation, the guy says it's a nice hotel, close to the beach, a nice swimming pool and that it's going to be 3000 Euros. I tell them that's a bit too much for my budget and they said I can rent it for 60 Euros/month if I don't want to buy it.

What do you call a concern about a specific time you may have booked on Native American property?

A reservation reservation reservation.

Did you hear about the orgy at the Native American reservation?

It was in tents.

What did the Jewish American princess make for dinner?

A reservation.

What do you call it when you second guess your decision to book a stay at a Native American resort?

A reservation reservation reservation.

Credit to Brian Regan, this is my favorite joke of his!

Reservation

You know, if you are hesitant to book time to stay on Indian land.. that's a reservation reservation reservation!

A Native American walks into a busy restaurant.

The hostess asks, "Do you have a reservation?"

What do you call dental work you get while on vacation on an indian reservation?

Sioux-veneers

I was on a guided tour of an Indian Reservation when this streaker ran past our group wearing nothing but a headdress.

I asked the tour guide. "Who's that idiot?"

He replied.."That's Running Bare"

Prom Night

A boy asks his girlfriend to the prom. When she says yes he says
"Since you do so much for me I will take care of everything."
He goes to buy the tickets but it is very busy, so he waits in line, waits in line, waits in line. He finally is able to get the tickets.
He will go get a restaurant reservation next, but his phone is dead so he walks into one hoping to make one that day. The restaurant is packed so he waits in line, waits in line, waits in line. Finally he has a reservation. The next day he goes to rent his Tux, but it is busy that time, so he waits in line, waits in line, waits in line and he finally has his tux.

Fast forward to the prom, his girlfriend asked for him to get her some punch. He goes up to the punch... and there is no punch line.

Went to the Indian reservation to get some dental work done...

Ended up just buying some Sioux veneers

My friend recently got married in the Signet Library in Edinburgh. I was surprised he managed to bag the reservation

They're usually fully booked.

Did you hear about the first electrician to put a light in an outhouse for an Indian?

He was the first to wire ahead for a reservation.

How to make Reservation jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Reservation to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Reservation? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Reservation pick up lines to share with friends.

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