Resentfully Jokes
28 resentfully jokes and hilarious resentfully puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about resentfully that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Resentfully Short Jokes
Short resentfully jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The resentfully humour may include short jokes also.
- My teenage son told me I am a resentful has-been. We had a good, hearty laugh together about that. Then i changed the WIFI password
- I hear Hillary really resented Sanders's hastag #FeelTheBern She was worried how obligated Bill would feel when #FeelTheClinton caught on.
- A few years ago I called my mother in law fat and she still resents me for it I should've known that an elephant never forgets.
- I've never been able to sustain a friendship with a lumberjack. They all arbor resentment.
- Lot's Wife We've all heard the story. No one can blame her if she felt any resentment. Some say, after all these years, she's still pretty salty about it.
- I tried to send my friend a text message about how my mobile carrier's reception deeply frustrates me, but it didn't work. I resent it.
- Which superhero has the power to arouse resentment, tedium, and anger in people? The Taxman.
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Resentfully One Liners
Which resentfully one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with resentfully? I can suggest the ones about and .
- I really resent gravity It's held me down my whole life.
- I sent my therapist a PDF of my problems. She said I have attachment issues. I resent it.
- I always have and always will... resent my inability to let go of my grudges. ^^^:o
- I don't see why everyone resents the Headless Horseman... All he wanted was head.
Resentfully Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about resentfully you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make resentfully pranks.
Inner Peace
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without alcohol,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
And you thought I was going to get all spiritual ...
Inner Strength
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can resist complaints and excessively loud people,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs...
If you can do all of these things, then you are probably a dog
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An angry man enters a bar.
The man begins shouting that all lawyers are a**..., exclaiming give me a lawyer, I'll show you there an a**....
This goes on until finally a man sitting at the bar comes over and confronts him.
He states you know, I resent that.
To which the angry man responds what, are you a lawyer?!
No, I'm an a**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Biker Walks Into A Yuppie Bar …
He yells at the top of his voice, All Lawyers are a**...!
A few moments later, a well dressed man in an Armani suit taps him on the shoulder and says, I resent that remark!
The Biker says, Are you a Lawyer?
The man replies, No. I'm an a**...!
A couple are having marital difficulties,
...and the wife suggests they see a marriage counsellor.
At their first session the counsellor asks the couple to explain to each other how they feel about their marriage.
The wife says: We are at a crossroads. To the left is bitterness, resentment, divorce and a life of unhappiness. To the right is reconciliation, love and lifelong happiness.
The husband says: I think you'll find that's a T-junction.
Why in our lifetimes was there a programme called Dogs with Jobs?
They used to put it on at 11.30am! I resented a programme called Dogs with Jobs being put on when they knew unemployed people would be watching.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a farm and 3 pigs, well had 3 pigs. I resently sloughterd them IT was my mom dad and little sister IT was my mom dad and little sister
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There are two types of women in this world.
Women who have resentments against their fathers, and women who have resentments against me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A joke my cousin sister told me when I was 9.
For 12 years Maya was the only child. She was coddled and adored by her mom and dad who gave her all the attention. So when her little sister was born, and she began to recieve less attention, she grew resentful.
She hated her little baby sister and wanted her dead. So while watching her mother breast-feed the baby, she hatched a plan.
That night, while her parents slept, she sneaked into their room and rubbed poison on her mother's n**....
When she woke the next day, she found out her dad had died.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Santa was working
And year after year, his workshop got expensive, so he started phasing out the elves with trolls. The trolls were larger and not quite as smart, but they were way cheaper and about 75% as effective. Santa didn't fire any elves, but as they got old and retired, he replaced them with trolls. Over the years there came to be one single old elf that continued to hold on and work, which Santa allowed. The trolls resented him because he made a lot more for doing what they though to be the same quality of work. They went on strike. After a few days, Santa sat them down, told them to stop striking, and exclamed, "Stop this now! A house divided against its elf cannot stand."
There was once a professional French soccer team whose players were all ducks
Named Le Tariat, they were so good that all other teams were amateur by comparison. This led to a lot of resentment, and the other teams all shunned them. While most simply ignored them, a few were very mean about it.
Le Tariat hatched a plan to kidnap the meanest of the players who were shunning them. In the middle of the night they did exactly that. They were caught though, and ended up going to prison where, being much smaller than the human inmates, they had a very bad time.
So in the end, seizing the meanies of pro duck shun didn't make the pro Le Tariat any happier.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Anniversary gift
A man decides that he is really going to spoil his wife for their anniversary this year, so he splashes out on some expensive l**... for her.
On receiving the gift, she smiles and gives him a p**... on the cheek - and he feels slightly annoyed that she doesn't seem to truly appreciate how much thought he put in to the gift.
Finally, after three days of resentment he confronts her: "You haven't really even thanked me properly for the lovely gift I got you - I don't know why I even bother"
To which the wife replies "Oh, I'm sorry darling - I love the l**...! I've had numerous compliments already!"
A joke my art teacher told me
This is a long one, and a groaner, but it's worth it.
There once was this town that was known for it's flowers. There were three florists who would make the best flower arrangements people had ever seen, and the town received many awards for them. The three florists enjoyed the competition, and didn't resent each other.
One day, a friar moved into the town and started his own flower shop. He made cheap bouquets and undercut the other florists. They soon started losing customers and money. The three original florists got together and decided to hire an assassin to kill the friar. They found one name Hugh, and he agreed to kill the friar.
Hugh killed him, and the three florists got there customers back, and were happy. Which just goes to show,
Only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars.