The Best 48 Researchers Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Researchers jokes. There are some researchers scientist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these researchers physicists puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Researchers Jokes and Puns

Researchers have discovered that diarrhea is influenced by genetics.

Their evidence: It runs in your jeans.

Nine researchers are stuck debating the findings of a new study.

The results are staggering, leaving the researchers split 5-4 in favor of the conclusion. Across all fields, at least one in two people are incompetent at their jobs.

The Crow Mystery

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

The scientific conclusion was that while all the lookout crows could say "Cah", none could say "Truck."

Researchers joke, The Crow Mystery

Researchers found out,...

... after someone finally opened the door.

Why did the 2 stem cell researchers get a divorce?

Because they grew a part.

How are AIDS researchers like Jews?

There's a lot less of them than there used to be...

Researchers find a very smart blonde....

Researchers joke, Researchers find a very smart blonde....

Researchers have found a new medicine to turn lesbians straight

It's called Tricoxagain.

A research group on sea mammals captured a rather odd porpoise on one of its trips.....

Its peculiarity was that it had feet. After they had photographed and measured the poor thing, they prepared to set it free.
"Wait a minute," said one of the researchers, "Wouldn't it be a kindness if our ship's doctor here were to amputate the feet so that it would be like other porpoises?" "Not on your life," exclaimed the doctor,
"That would be defeeting the porpoise."

Why did the researchers stopped their research on embryos?

Because the subject is still to immature.

Researchers found a deep-ocean microbe which could explain transition from simple to complex cells

However, it passed away before it even had begun explaining.

You can explore researchers archeologists reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean researchers chloride dad jokes. There are also researchers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

These researchers are discussing an idea to replace mice in science labs with something that'll lead to better results.

Valve time slower than thought

Researchers have calculated that it takes longer than expected for radioactive fluids with a half-life of 3 years to pass through valves. Reason unknown.

Researchers in Canada have reported finding a superconductor that they say works at room temperature.

Gillette researchers are really the best

They got some cutting edge technology

The researchers didn't want to give their years of AI research to a younger team.

But eventually, they decided to pass the torch

Researchers joke, The researchers didn't want to give their years of AI research to a younger team.

Researchers recently unveiled a device will launch stinging insects at high speeds.

It has beegun.

Researchers found that students of a teacher who regularly took LSD lived extraordinarily long lives.

It seems his pupils die late.

I was recently asked to be a part of a biological experiment. The researchers said they would mutate me with an extra chromosome and give me $10 000 for it.

I'm down.

2 market researchers are sent to Africa to see if there is potential market for shoes.

First one reports to boss: There is zero prospect here. No one is wearing shoes.

Second one reports to boss: There is unbelievable market here. No one is wearing shoes.

In a double blind study researchers found women who drink regularly are more likely to become nuns

Proving once and for all that alcohol is habit forming.

A new sickness has been found and researchers report it infects only the nose.

According to them, this is a full-blown disease.

5 out of six researchers conclude,

Russian roulette is complete safe.

Researchers Claim To Have Recorded Dolphins Having A "Conversation" . . . . .

and turns out, they're racist.

Researchers may have spotted two small dark moons hidden in rings of Uranus

You should probably get them checked out.

Researchers have developed a new painkiller with no negative side effects

… and no positive either.

Researchers today said food cooked too long that turns to black produces high levels of acrylamide, a cancer risk.

And I just thought my wife was a bad cook.

Researchers have shown that....

People will believe anything that follows the words "Researchers have shown that".

Researchers in Texas have cured diabetes in mice without side effects.

I bet the scientist that are trying to cure diabetes in humans are so jealous right now.

How many researchers does it take to change a light bulb ?


How many vivisection researchers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They don't want you to see what they are doing.

Researchers used CRISPR to encode a movie onto DNA

Time to create some viral memes

Researchers have discovered that excessive masturbation can cause dyslexia.

However, tihs is olny in etxreem caess of slef aubse.

Breaking news: University Researchers Create Life in Lab!

Darkness, faulty condoms blamed.

Researchers rolled an assortment of vegetables down a hill to see which would travel fastest

Stephen Hawking won by a landslide

In 20 years, computers will be over 10,000 times more powerful than they are now

In fact, some researchers suggest they may even be able to run Windows 10 without crashing.

Breaking News: Japanese researchers have developed a camera with a shutter speed so fast...

It can actually capture an image of a woman with her mouth shut.

Researchers say Bigfoot was finally discovered and captured on a mountain trail recently. Despite it's enormous size, it proved easy to capture due it's very low intelligence. The head researcher was shocked by just how fat and dumb it was. The beast will be held in captivity for a while.

In related news, your mom won't be returning from her hike anytime soon.

What do you call a snake that studies and researchers past events?

A hiiiiiiiistorian.

I'll see myself out.

Did you hear about the new drug trial for a pill that makes you able to sing opera?

The researchers are calling it Placebo Domingo

Why do researchers like slutty women?

For thot experiments..

Harper Lee made her own alcohol several decades ago, researchers found out it's called

Tequila Mockingbird.

Researchers have developed a groundbreaking new birth control gel for men

How it works is the man applies the gel for about two minutes and then realizes he no longer needs sex.

Researchers have found the leading cause of dry skin.


Studies have shown that if presented with song lyrics, the human mind will produce the melody and have it in the background. According to the researchers,

your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know.

Researchers at the MIT recently found out...


After a few minutes, they went back inside.

Legal Humor

A recent news headline indicated that lawyers were now being used as experimental test subjects in place of laboratory rats. I read further because this just didn't seem right, but the story gave several very solid reasons for the substitution of lawyers for rats.

First: There are more of them.

Second: The researchers had a tendency to become attached to the laboratory rats.

Third: There are just some things you can't get a rat to do.

I heard researchers developed a mind control perfume....

It makes a lot of scents when you think about it

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the researchers investigators jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working researchers discovery piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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