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Researchers Jokes

58 researchers jokes and hilarious researchers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about researchers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Researchers Jokes

Short researchers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The researchers humour may include short scientists jokes also.

  1. I was going to finalize my research as to why vaccines are bad today But all of the research sites are down.
  2. The Government is mandating that I set my clocks back before I go to bed tonight, but I'm going to do MY OWN research, thank you very much. My clocks, my choice.
  3. How many antivaxxers does it take to change a lightbulb? \-
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    It's not my job to give you the answer. Do your own research.
  4. New research shows 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy. This is my first time. Please be gentle.
  5. What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale? Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee.
  6. I've been researching some useless facts... Want some examples?
    I have found out that there are over 10,000 different types of lice.
    And that's just off the top of my head.
  7. After extensive research I've come to the conclusion that 10 is smaller than 5! I finally understand factorials!
  8. After years of research, scientists discovered bees are allergic to pollen Turns out when exposed to pollen, bees develop hives
  9. What do we want? More research into a cure for ADHD! When do we want it? Let's play swingball!
  10. Research shows that the people of Saudi Arabia don't like "The Flintstones"..
    But the people of Abu Dhabi do.

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Researchers joke, Research shows


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about researchers can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of researchers puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Researchers One Liners

Which researchers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with researchers? I can suggest the ones about research scientist and historians.

  1. I researched about LGBT on internet today Just couldn't get a straight answer.
  2. Where do djs do their research? Wiki-wiki-wikipedia
  3. from my dad-where does a DJ get all his research? wikiwiki-pedia
  4. 5 out of six researchers conclude, Russian roulette is complete safe.
  5. A research shows that 96.86% of people in the sea are sailors. The rest are  πrates
  6. What is the motto for the Epilepsy Research Society? Sieze the day
  7. How many anti-vaccers does it take to change a lightbulb? >!DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH!!!<
  8. I know a botanist who does research on nuts. He works in macademia.
  9. Why did the 2 stem cell researchers get a divorce? Because they grew a part.
  10. A research says that 75% of the people are good at Math. I am probably the remaining 35%
  11. Our crack team of experts has done the research They need more crack.
  12. I had plans to start researching sinkholes But they fell through
  13. How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb? Do your own research.
  14. Research Show that 1 in 3 people cheat... Not sure if it's my wife or my girlfriend...
  15. I just watched a documentary about anorexia. The research was a little thin.

Researchers joke, I just watched a documentary about <a href="/anorexia-jokes.html" title="Anorexia jokes">anorexia</a

Humorous Researchers Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about researchers you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean research shows jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make researchers prank.

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a v**...."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get s**...."

If you steal ideas from only one person, it is called plagiarism.

If you steal from many people, it is called research.

Science Joke

A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.
The physicist saw the violent ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked out into the waves. He was pulled under and never returned.
The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked out to the ocean. He too, never returned.

The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote in his journal, "Physicist and Biologist both soluble."

Researchers have discovered that diarrhea is influenced by genetics.

Their evidence: It runs in your jeans.

OCD

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants
in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were
looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this
disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses
the day after the ad came out.
All from the same person.

A researcher carrying out a phone survey on marital s**......

phoned one of the participants to check on a discrepancy. He asked the husband: "In response to the question on frequency of i**..., you answered 'once a week,' but your wife answered 'several times a night.'"
"That's correct," said the husband. "And that's the way it's going to be until the mortgage is paid off."

I work at a pharmaceutical research lab, and we managed to kill a rat with m**... today.

To be fair, it took around 20 lbs of it and we had to drop it on him a few times.

A zookeeper notices his prize gorilla was getting aggressive..

She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't sleep. And she constantly kept trying to attack the zookeeper. So, he did some research and found out female gorillas can become depressed and aggressive when deprived from s**....
The zookeeper then looked around for another male gorilla for her to engage in i**..., but unfortunately the zoo couldn't afford to import a male gorilla just for her to have s**....
Giving his funding situation, he goes up to the janitor and asks him "Hey, for $500, would you have s**... with this gorilla?"
The janitor thought about it for a minute, and then replied "Sure, on three conditions. First condition, I don't want to kiss her."
"Okay sure! I wouldn't expect you to!"
The janitor then stated "Second condition. I don't want anyone knowing about this ordeal."
"Sure, fine! Not a problem! What's your third condition?"
Janitor said "Give me at least 2 weeks to come up with the $500"

A man is in an airplane from Miami to Paris

And a stunning gorgeous woman seats by his side. He's the eager to start a conversation.
"So, what are you doing in Paris?"
"I'm a scientist, I research s**..."
The man is now tempted:
"What have you discovered about s**... in your research?"
"I came to find that Native Americans have the longest p**... and Spanish can last the longest in bed. By the way, I'm Carol, what's your name?"
"I'm Sitting Bull Hernandez, nice to meet you"

Research shows that m**... is one of the main causes of acne.

Also, acne is the main cause of m**....

Researchers rolled an assortment of vegetables down a hill to see which would travel fastest

Stephen Hawking won by a landslide

Fred is a hippo who goes to a University where everyone is a hippo

One day, someone asked Fred where to find the medical building. Fred replied, "Its over there and to the left. I do brain research in there."
Fred is an expert on the hippocampus.

April Fools Day............

The day every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.

What do you call a short Mexican researcher in Antarctica?

A Burrito

First joke I've ever come up with. My Hispanic wife laughed her b**... off.

So I did some research...

and Chinese people like listening to music on their phones with earbuds, black people like portable speakers, Mexicans prefer cheaper systems in their home with big speakers and white people like higher end but compact systems...
Sorry, I guess I shouldn't be discussing racial stereo types.

The Russian Agency of Research and Automation has been commissioned by Putin to develop a new robot to make gloves for the pandemic that are superior to all others. They have named it in his honour.

It's called RARA's grasp-Putin, Russia's greatest glove machine.

I tried to research what the term confirmation bias means

All I found was a bunch of fake news, so I stopped reading

I'm planning on starting a s**... club....

... in Poland. It will be called Pole Land.
I will hire people from ex law enforcement as strippers.
The slogan for the club will be: "Welcome to Pole Land, in Poland: Where Polish police polish your pole".
The slogan did pretty well in market research polls.

A vampire decided to use his immortality to research the best career

He tried every type of job there was, from innovation to construction to civil service, and he landed on the job of mirror cleaner.
In his book on the subject, he said that the tai chi like motions of the arms were very relaxing, and the mirror will certainly get dirty again leading to job security.
"I'm as surprised as you are," wrote the vampire. "It was not a job I could see myself doing."

An entomologist walks into a bar and orders a grasshopper.

An entomologist walks into a bar and orders a grasshopper. "We haven't seen you in a while. How is your research going?" the bartender asks. "Great. I've actually had quite a breakthrough. I've discovered that praying mantises don't all follow the same religion," the entolomolgist says. "They're in sects."

Researchers have discovered a lost Hemingway novel where the main character is trying to learn a computer language.

The Old Man and the C.

My in depth research says that 73% people are good at maths

The rest 37% are d**... though

Researchers have found that men complain less in the month of February.

Because it only has 28 days.

Woman visits a bank on downtown NYC...

...and asks for a short-term $10,000 loan. Banker asks her for collateral, and she hands him the keys to her Mercedes. She says she's going on a vacation, and will return the following week to repay the debt and retrieve her car.
Week later, she picks up the vehicle and pays back the loan, plus $50 interest.
Banker says, "Thanks for doing business with us. But, while you were away, we did a bit of research and discovered you are an extremely wealthy woman. Why did you need a loan?"
She replied, "Where else can I park my vehicle for $50 for a week in NYC?"

Researchers joke, Woman visits a bank on downtown NYC...

jokes about researchers

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these researchers jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.