Research Scientist Jokes
37 research scientist jokes and hilarious research scientist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about research scientist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Research Scientist Short Jokes
Short research scientist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The research scientist humour may include short researchers jokes also.
- After years of research, scientists discovered bees are allergic to pollen Turns out when exposed to pollen, bees develop hives
- After decades of intense research, scientists have finally figured out what a woman wants Unfortunately, she's since changed her mind.
- After years of research, scientists have concluded that dogs cannot use MRI machines. But catscan.
- Three scientists were awarded the Nobel Prize for their work on black holes. The Trump Administration immediately objected and said that research would should be directed towards white holes as well.
- Researchers in Texas have cured diabetes in mice without side effects. I bet the scientist that are trying to cure diabetes in humans are so jealous right now.
- Historically, the Inuit are one of the few groups of people who never lose their temper. After decades of research, scientists were able to figure out why... They're nomads.
- A scientist conducted a research on smartphone protection gear. It was an interesting case study.
- After a thorough research and survey scientists claim that the thicker your thighs, The more snacks you can lay on your lap.
- After MANY years of research, scientists have found that it is possible for humans to be immortal. "All one has to is drink some of Ash Ketchum's blood to become immortal", say experts.
- After years of research, scientists were ready to announce the cure for schizophrenia. Things went south when they realized it was all in their heads.
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Research Scientist One Liners
Which research scientist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with research scientist? I can suggest the ones about scientist and engineer and scientists.
- I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
- What is the high scientist researching. Isodopes.
- After decades of research scientists in Texas have discovered a new use for sheep! Wool!
- Why was the scientist mad? He couldn't get funding for his global d**... research.
Research Scientist Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about research scientist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean science student jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make research scientist pranks.
A man is in an airplane from Miami to Paris
And a stunning gorgeous woman seats by his side. He's the eager to start a conversation.
"So, what are you doing in Paris?"
"I'm a scientist, I research s**..."
The man is now tempted:
"What have you discovered about s**... in your research?"
"I came to find that Native Americans have the longest p**... and Spanish can last the longest in bed. By the way, I'm Carol, what's your name?"
"I'm Sitting Bull Hernandez, nice to meet you"
A renowned scientist is frustrated with the popularity of misinformation. In an interview, he tells the press my research is meaningless if taken out of context!
The next day, the public is taken by storm as headlines spread that Renowned Scientist Claims That His Research is Meaningless!
A Scientist, Inventor, and Engineer
A Scientist, Inventor, and Engineer are tasked with solving a major world problem. The Scientist does the research and makes a discovery that the Inventor then uses to invent the thing that will solve the problem. The engineer refines the invention until it is ready for operation. Their solution is a huge success and very profitable. Who makes all the money?
The businessman.
Scientists say they may be able to synthesize a completely clean biofuel using the enzymes in finely shredded fungi, such as mushrooms...
Some critics have questioned the ethics of the process, but admit they are comforted by the researchers' strong Morel fibre.
A New Strain Spreading Faster Than COVID
Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.
Scientists warn that a virulent strain of humans are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving researchers at a loss as to how to combat them.
These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information, and yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive."
When birds fly in a 'v' formation, one side is always longer.
After millions of dollars and thousands of hours spent researching this phenomena, scientists believe they now know why. It's because one side has more birds than the other.
Scientists use both positive and negative conditioning to teach cats to speak.
In a group of cats, a tutor would reward an individual cat who said "me" with the best food at feeding time. In another experiment, a researcher would apply mild electric shocks to the subject cat until it said "ow".
The lead scientist said they've had some success, however they weren't sure if the cats were using those words in the right context.
After years of research scientists have discovered a substance that kill s**... drive...
Wedding Cake
Who's driving?
A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in the back seat of a car. So who's driving? No one! They're both research scientists gathering data on the performance of Google driverless car. You racist.
Why haven't scientists cured Parkinson's disease yet?
Their research is still a little shaky.
Which people can sleep on work and still claim that they are doing their job
Scientists doing research on dreams
If you did research and testing on a specific type of Lettuce...
...does that make you a Rocket Scientist?
After years of research, scientists have discovered what the woman wants!
Meanwhile she changed her mind.
A Scientist was doing a research test on frogs
He put it on the counter cut off a leg and yelled "JUMP FROG JUMP!" Then the frog jumped.
So he cut off another leg and yelled the same thing and the frog jumped.
So he cut off yet another leg and then again yelled"JUMP FROG JUMP!" and the frog jumped
So he cut off the final leg and yelled "JUMP FROG JUMP" but the frog didn't jump so he tried again "JUMP FROG JUMP!" But it didn't jump so he put in his research notes "when you cut off all of a frogs legs it becomes deaf."
A research scientist studying porpoises discovers a way to make them live forever.
He discovered that a compound made by immature seagulls makes the porpoises stop aging, as long as they're fed them regularly. To protect his research he bought two lions to guard the lab.
One day he forgets to feed the lions before going out to collect the seagulls, so he's forced to call the police to tranquilize them in front of the door to get back into his lab. As soon as he enters the lab though, he's immediately arrested, for transporting young gulls across stade lions for immortal porpoises.
A group of researchers were investigating the behavior of bar visitors
They noticed that from opening until closing, 127 people entered the bar and 128 exited. Different scientists tried to explain this anomaly.
The biologist said, "they evidently must have biologically reproduced, resulting in the extra specimen."
The physicist said, "clearly, there's an imperfection in our measurements. We must try again more accurate procedures."
The mathematician said, "if one more person walks in, the bar will be empty."
Scientists researched if cheetahs could drive more than 60mph
The results were catastrophic
Quintuple pun
There once was a scientist who was doing research into longevity. He had a lab in Florida and was working with porpoises. He had discovered that he could extend their lifespans indefinitely by feeding them an extract made from seagulls. So each morning he would go out on the beach and hunt seagulls.
One day, when coming back from the hunt with a bunch of freshly killed seagulls he discovered that there was a lion lying across the path. But this didn't worry him as he recognized the lion and being a very old, harmless beast from the local zoo. Instead, he picked up his gulls and just stepped over the lion and continued on his way. Shortly thereafter he was arrested by the police.
The charge was "Transporting gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.:
Invitation to a Scientists' ball
Some of the replies from the scientists invited:
Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm.
Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend.
Volta was electrified and Archimedes, buoyant at the thought.
Ampere was worried he wasn't up to current research.
Ohm resisted the idea at first.
Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
Edison thought it would be an illuminating experience.
Watt reckoned it would be a good way to let off steam.
Stephenson thought the whole idea was loco.
Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight.
Dr Jekyll declined -- he hadn't been feeling himself lately.
Morse's reply: "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now must dash."
Heisenberg was uncertain if he could make it.
Hertz said in the future he planned to attend with greater frequency.
Henry begged off due to a low capacity for alcohol.
Audobon said he'd have to wing it.
Hawking said he'd try to string enough time together to make a space in his schedule.
Darwin said he'd have to see what evolved.
Schrodinger had to take his cat to the vet, or did he?
Mendel said he'd put some things together and see what came out.
Descartes said he'd think about it.
Newton was moved to attend.
Pavlov was drooling at the thought.
Gauss was asked to attend because of his magnetic personality.
JP Clark & Siegfried the Deerslayer Wanna-Be