Rescue Dog Jokes
23 rescue dog jokes and hilarious rescue dog puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rescue dog that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Rescue Dog Short Jokes
Short rescue dog jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rescue dog humour may include short rescue jokes also.
- I rescued a dog that belonged to a blacksmith. As soon as I brought it home, it made a bolt for the door
- My rescue dog has no legs, so I named her cigarette... and every night we go out for a drag.
- A guy found his dog lying in a puddle of blood behind his house He rang the number for the emergency animal rescue.
'Is it moving?' they asked.
'Yes', he replied. 'It's quite emotional.' - I would never get a dog from a breeder. Rescue dogs taste just as good and can be had for a fraction of the price.
- A german guy rescues a dog from drowning then the owner of the dog says to him: "Thank you so much! Are you a vet?" to which the german guy responds with "I'm not just vet! I'm soaked!"
- What's the hardest part about being a Vegan who does Crossfit and owns a Rescue dog? Deciding which to tell people first.
- If someone is a vegan, does crossfit, and has a rescue dog.... which one do they tell you about first?
- It ain't right If you go by the pound to pick up a rescue dog you are treated like a big hero, but go by the women's shelter to find your next girlfriend and...……...
- I adopted a rescue dog early this morning... But she hasn't saved anyone all day and she's peed in the house twice. This is b**....
Share These Rescue Dog Jokes With Friends
Rescue Dog One Liners
Which rescue dog one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rescue dog? I can suggest the ones about stray dog and retriever dog.
- What do you get when you cross an Indian smoothie with a rescue dog? Mango Lassie
- How do you know if your friend's new dog is a rescue? Don't worry. They'll let you know.
Rescue Dog Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about rescue dog you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean service dog jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rescue dog pranks.
A woman's dog falls into a river
She screamed for help and a strong Russian man jumped into the river and rescued the dog. After the dog was out, he told the lady to wrap him in towels to keep him warm. The lady asked "are you a vet?" And the Russian man replied "are you insane of course I'm wet."
One knight a king, a queen, and a dog sailed on a boat. The queen and king fell off and drowned. The dog tried to rescue them but was eaten by a shark. Who survived?
The knight.
(It's a better o**... joke since knight and night are interchangeable)
Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven
Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven and were seeking admission. God Himself decided to hear their appeal from His judgement seat.
The St Bernard said "I was a valued rescue dog and helped find those nuns after the avalanche."
"Fine then, you're in," said God.
The collie said, "I was always faithful to my master and brought the family together when they were down."
"Sounds wonderful," said God. "Welcome."
Then it was the cat's turn. "Why should we let you in?" asked God.
"Well actually, I think you're in my chair."
A drunk old Irish man told me this one...
A man, a pig and his dog are marooned on a deserted island. After a couple of months in isolation the man becomes lonely and begins getting ideas about the pig. But every time he tries it on with the pig, the dog would start biting his leg and barking at him.
One day the man spots a beautiful woman floating on a raft out in the sea. He swims out as fast as he can and rescues her, and brings her onshore. The woman is overwhelmed with gratitude for him and says
Thank you for saving me, I will do anything you want .
With a cheeky glint in his eye, delighted with this offer, the man eagerly says
Brilliant! You see that dog? Go take him for a feckin walk
Talking dog for sale
A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads Talking Dog for Sale. Intrigued, he walks in.
So what have you done with your life? he asks the dog.
I've led a very full life, says the dog. I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.
The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog's owner, Why on Earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?
The owner says, Because he's a liar! He never did any of that!
Talking dog for sale
A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads
"Talking dog for sale"
Intrigued he walks in and sees the dog
"So what have you done with your life?" he asks the dog
"I have had a very full life" says the dog
"I have lived in the Alps, rescued avalanche victims, I served my country in Iraq,
and now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home"
The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog's owner
"This is incredible! why on earth do you want to get rid of this dog?"
The owner says "Because he's a liar! He never did any of that."
So this guy is stranded on an island with a goat and a dog.
Days pass.. then weeks... then months... and years pass with no human contact. He starts to crave the urge to have s**....
So he looks around and sees the goat. Comes up with the idea to have s**... with it. He positions her right and is ready for some action. But just as he is about to pull his pants down, he sees the dog just staring at him. Uncomfortable, he decides to try again the next day.
Next day comes and he guides the goat to a hill side where he would like to do his deed. Just as he's about to pull his pants down, out of nowhere, he sees the dog staring at him. He gives up again.
A few days go by and he sees a boat sinking offshore. He hears this women screaming for help. He swims to her rescue and the woman is grateful to him.
Thanking him she says, "Can I do anything to repay you."
He replies, "Anything?"
"Yes, anything." she answers.
So then he asks, "Okay. Can you take the dog out for a walk?"
A man, a sheep and a dog were stranded in an island..
A man, a sheep and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on an island.
After being there a while, they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down. One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze warm and gentle-a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the dog got jealous, growling fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. She was badly injured when they rescued her, and they slowly nursed her back to health. When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening: red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze-perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon the man started to get "those feelings" again. He fought them as long as he could, but he finally gave in, leaned over to the young woman and cautiously whispered in her ear, " Would you mind taking the dog for a walk? "
A ship went down on a reef...
There were only three survivors; a 25 year old man, a dog, and a cat.
They were washed up on a deserted tropical island. Food and water were no problem, but after a month the man started to get the urge to have s**.... As there were no other people, he was forced to choose between the dog and the cat. Naturally, he chose the dog - man`s best friend. But the cat had a jealous streak, and would always interrupt the man when he tried to have his way with the dog. The man tried all kinds of strategies, but it was no use. The cat never allowed him a chance to get it on with the dog.
Then one day, another ship went down on the reef. From this ship there was only one survivor; a beautiful 22 year old woman. She almost drowned in the surf as she made her way to the island, but the man rescued her - effectively saving her life.
The woman was so grateful that she offered to do anything for the man.
"Anything?" asked the man, already thinking about his carnal desires.
"Yes. Absolutely anything. I`ll do anything to show you my appreciation. For you are my savior," she replied.
"Well then", said the man, "I`d be delighted if you could take the cat for a walk for half an hour."
A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.
” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog. “I've led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”