Requirement Jokes
48 requirement jokes and hilarious requirement puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about requirement that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Satisfy your funny bone without sacrificing your dietary requirements. Laugh along with our collection of jokes that require no special qualifications.
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Funniest Requirement Short Jokes
Short requirement jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The requirement humour may include short required jokes also.
- I was applying for australian citizenship and the interviewer asked, Do you have a criminal record? I said, No. Is that still required?
- What's the difference between the Taliban and Texas? The Taliban requires women to wear mask
- The best beginner pet is a Hamster. They live for 5 days and don't require any food or water.
- When I visited Australia, the immigration officer asked me if I had a criminal record… Confused, I replied, Oh, is that still required?
- How to win the war on drugs 1) legalize all drugs.
2) require that all drugs be purchased through Comcast customer service. - My daughters favorite joke... What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment, and the other requires oinkment. - When i was a boy, i had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to stay alive... It's a good thing my brother told me about it
- Wife: If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Husband: That is true - wars require strategy and logic.
- Parking a single car doesn't require much space. But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot.
- A Briton flies into Australia and is asked by the immigration officer, Do you have any felony convictions?
The Briton replies, Sorry. I didn't realize that was still a requirement.
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Requirement One Liners
Which requirement one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with requirement? I can suggest the ones about demands and needed.
- I could never cheat in a relationship That would require 2 people to find me attractive
- Why didn't the polite coder get hired? The job required SASS
- Why are glasses required to do math? because you need it for davision
- All pirates medics were required to be certified in C. P. ARRRRRR.
- Virginity and candy are a lot a like. They require minimal force to take from a child.
- Stands, tables, meatballs, sofas and Sweden It's an IKEA joke...some assembly required
- What kind of house requires a lot of water? A house on fire
- My body is a temple. It requires frequent animal sacrifice.
- Are vegetables required in every sentence? Not nececelery
- you might think babies are delivered by storks but fat babies require cranes
- I have a joke on Bitcoin But it requires so much energy to get it.
- Mumble rappers and Japanese Anime are the same both require subtitles.
- (homemade) what did the frog do to the paper? Veteran dad here, no applause required.
- Pub Landlord Required.... Must Have Own Pub...
Apply with Inn. - The box said 'Requires Windows 10 or better'. So I installed LINUX
Humorous Requirement Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about requirement you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean qualifications jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make requirement pranks.
A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, I want to be President one day.
Trump says, Are you s**...? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you r**...?
The kid replies, You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.
A creationist told me that evolution must be wrong because it violates the second law of thermodynamics
His claim was that in order for simple organisms like bacteria to evolve into much more complex life like fish and mice and horses and gorillas and people, an enormous input of energy would be required, therefore it must be impossible.
I stayed up all night trying to think of something that would refute his claim, and then it dawned on me.
A new law
Two guys walk into a bar and order lunch. "What brings you guys in today?" the bartender asks. "I guess you haven't heard yet. The mayor passed a law yesterday to try to help out local restaurants during Covid-19. All adult males are required to go and eat lunch out with their best male friends at least once a week," one of the guys answers the bartender. "Well it's not a law really," the other guy corrects him. "It's more of a mandate."
A woman placed an ad in a news paper. 'I am looking for a male partner who needs to meet these three requirements.
1. He shouldn't beat me.
2. He shouldn't leave me.
Third and most important.
3. He should be great in bed.
One week later, her door bell rang, and she opened the door to find a man.
The man said, "Hi, I'm Peter. I don't have hands, so I can't beat you. I don't have legs so I can't leave you. I think I'm the guy."
The lady in an angry voice asked him back, "How the h**... are you supposed to be great in bed then? Didn't you read the third requirement?"
I think You're mistaken my lady.
Peter replied, "I rang the doorbell. Didn't I?"
How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Usually one. Lightbulbs are relatively easy to screw in, although depending on the position/location of said light it may require a stepladder or some sort of object to stand on to elevate yourself. Always be careful when installing electronics, make sure the light switch is OFF before going near it
Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 81, your two hour rental period is up, please return to the dock.
Boat rental intern to manager: uh, sir, we only have 60 boats.
Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 18, do you require assistance?
A man calls up the White House and tells the receptionist, "I would like to become the next president of the United States."
The receptionist asks, "What are you, an idiot?"
The man asks, "Why, is it required?"
A man is going through customs entering Australia
The man behind the desk asks him "do you have a criminal record?"
The man replies "No, I didn't know that was still a requirement"
A mexican kid tells D. Trump:
I want to be President!
Trump says: are you s**...? Are you an idiot? Out of tour mind? Are you r**...?
Kid says: you know what, never mind those are too many requirements.
A British man visits Australia
A British man visits Australia. The customs officer asks "Do you have a previous criminal history?"
The visitor replies "I didn't realize that was still a requirement"
An Englishman walks up to the immigration counter at the Sydney Airport...
An Englishman walks up to the immigration counter at the Sydney Airport. The officer asks, Do you have any felony convictions?
The Englishman replies, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that was still a requirement.
I actually heard a joke the other day about an alternate ending to the movie Hook
where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter back to London in a body bag. It's a good joke, if a little dark, but it does require a dead Pan delivery.
An old Jewish man dies.
His last wish to his son is to print an obituary. The son goes to newspaper office and asks how much they charge for an obituary. They tell him $5 per word.
He says then print "Solomon dead". The newspaper tell him they require minimum 5 words. He thinks for a moment and says, then make it "Solomon dead, wheelchair for sale".
Husband send a text to his wife
Husband's text:
>Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office.
Paula brought me to the Hospital.
Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays.
Severe blow to my head but not likely to have any lasting effects. Wound required 19 stitches.
I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and compound fracture in the left leg. Amputation of my right foot is a possibility.
Love you.
Wife's response:
>Who's Paula?
If your workplace requires password changes every 90 days
just set it to the name of the current Australian Prime minister and you should be fine.
A British man is visiting Australia for vacation.
The passport lady at Australian customs asks him, "Have you been convicted of any crimes in the past?"
The Brit replies by asking, "Is it still a requirement?"
A man is applying for Australian citizenship when the clerk asks "Do you have a criminal record?"
"No" the man says. "Is that still required?"
Pokémon Go is more popular than Tinder.
Another app which requires you to swipe to find monsters in your surroundings.
So I recently went to Australia...
I want to Australia for holiday.
I was at the airport and one of security people asks me: "Do you have a criminal record?"
I responded: "Oh. I didn't realise that was still a requirement."
A British man goes on holiday in Australia...
After getting off the plane in Sydney, the man waits to go through Australian customs.
"Do you have anything to declare?" asks the Australian customs officer.
"No" replies the British man.
"Do you have a criminal record?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't know that was still a requirement."
What's the difference between tinder and amusement parks?
Amusement parks have realistic height requirements.
A British man is visiting Australia.
The man at customs asks him : "Do you have any criminal record?"
he replied : "I didn't know this was still a requirement"
