The Best 53 Required Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Required jokes. There are some required adequate jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these required application puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Required Jokes and Puns

I was applying for Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked, Do you have a criminal record?

I said, No. Is that still required?

No problems

A former Sergeant , having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-alec punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest. Dead silence ... He had no trouble with discipline that year.

Mitch Hedberg-type joke.

I saw a bible supply store on the way over here. I did not realize bibles required supplies. I was under the impression they came fully equipped. "Hey, you coming to the revival this weekend? No, man, my bible wants to go camping. We have to stop at store. For supplies. Like a tiny can of beans. And a little tent."

Sven walks into a bar...

... and sees his friend Bjorn sitting alone at a table. He orders a vodka, and sits down opposite him. Bjorn looks up and nods. Sven nods back.

They sit like this, not speaking, for hours, waving to the barman when more vodka is required.

Eventually Sven says, "Snow again."

Bjorn replies, "Look, if you're going to chat all night, then I'm going to have to find another bar."

jokes about required

A man is applying for Australian citizenship when the clerk asks "Do you have a criminal record?"

"No" the man says. "Is that still required?"


Husband send a text to his wife

Husband's text:
>Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office.
Paula brought me to the Hospital.
Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays.
Severe blow to my head but not likely to have any lasting effects. Wound required 19 stitches.
I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and compound fracture in the left leg. Amputation of my right foot is a possibility.
Love you.

Wife's response:
>Who's Paula?

Why are glasses required to do math?

because you need it for davision

Required joke, Why are glasses required to do math?

Why couldn't Marco Rubio register on a web forum?

The website required him to prove that he is not a robot.

I had a rough childhood. I couldn't play with toys that required supervision

I only had regular vision

Why didn't the polite coder get hired?

The job required SASS

I saw a veteran begging in the street which made me very upset

But then I remembered I wasn't required to give the military quarters.

You can explore required basics reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean required expertise dad jokes. There are also required puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I am a victim of cyber bullying

Every day my bank emails me to notify me that my account is under the required threshold. I do not need reminders that I am poor.

Did you know the Secret Service is no longer allowed to say "GET DOWN!" when the President is getting attacked?

Now they're required to say "Donald, duck!"

When I was a little girl, I had a unique medical condition that required me to eat play-doh three times a day to survive.

I was very lucky that my older brother informed me about it and made sure I did it, or I might not be here today.

Why do women fart less than men?

Because they can't keep quiet long enough to build up the required pressure

When I heard my new job required passing a drug test.....

Boy was I excited. Finally a test in a subject I know about!

Required joke, When I heard my new job required passing a drug test.....

When i was a boy, i had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to stay alive...

It's a good thing my brother told me about it

I could easily work for EA...

I've got everything required, primarily I'm great at disappointing people.

City officials required all their male employees to socialize with male coworkers after work once a week.

They issued a government mandate.


Politicians should be required to dress like NASCAR drivers.

With patches all over their suits telling us who their sponsors are.

eat dirt...

When I was a girl I had a disease that required me to eat dirt four times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older sister told me about it.

Entry level position available!

3 years forklift experience required

5 years general labour required

Class 5 drivers license required

2 years kitchen experience required

4 years retail services required

2 years hospitality services required

4 years janitorial services required

3 years business degree preferred

5 years relevant experience required

$11 an hour to start(with 20Β’ raise for every year of employment)

.
.
.
.

That's it. The joke is the current hiring system of the world.

My boyfriend's dad told us that back in his day, before required sexual misconduct training...

Harass was two words

One gallon of gasoline contains roughly the amount of energy required for a human to live 56 years

Therefore, if you chug two gallons of gasoline you'll never have to eat again!

Why are North Koreans required to give their books to Kim Jong-un?

Because he is their Supreme Reader

My boss asked the difference between logging in vs logging on ...

I replied "It is only the amount of I/O required."

Required joke, My boss asked the difference between logging in vs logging on ...

Perspective

The optimist says "The glass is half full."

The pessimist says "The glass is half empty."

The engineer says "The vessel contains twice the required space for the volume present."

I've discovered some similar thing between cars and humans.

The older they are, the more maintenance is required.

Since its my cake day

I used to work at a very large balery known for making some of the most exquisite and famous cakes.

These cakes required a very intricate and delicate process to make them and involved a lot of processes and a secret recipe.

However in all my 20 years, the head baker never told me the full recipe only my part required in the preperartion.

He always told me that Bakers only trade recipes on a Knead to know basis.


All pirates medics were required to be certified in

C. P. ARRRRRR.

I was told that wearing a mask and gloves would be enough during the corona virus pandemic

but when I got to the store I was told that pants and a shirt were also required

Interview for Australian visa for first time mostly be like:

A : Do you have criminal record?

M: No, I didn't knew it's still required?

Biden has won so many times in Michigan now

he's legally required to change his name to Ohio State.

Daughter asked me why she can't just quit school..

And I told her parents are required by the law to send kids to school and if they don't then they'll go to jail for breaking the law. My sweet child with a solemn look on her face looked me in the eye and said Mom I'll visit you.


TIL that Orville Redenbacher served in the US army.

Even though he was a colonel he didn't want to be saluted. He only required a micro-wave.

An engineer and a machinist are tasked with drilling a hole into a the deck of a ship.

They arrive on site, the engineer confirms the position of the hole, the machinist starts drilling. Before they reach the required depth, oil starts spewing out the flutes of the drill bit -- they've drilled into the oil tank.

"How're we gonna explain this to the boss?" -- asks the machinist.

"Look, buddy, I have no idea what *we* are gonna do, but what *I'm* gonna do is move that hole 5 inches to the left on the blueprint."

Are vegetables required in every sentence?

Not nececelery

Call me crazy, but I think if someone tells you how they feel they should also be required to provide you with a common food seasoning.

That's just my opinion though, so take it with a grain of salt.

I had to quit my new job as a personal trainer

After a few weeks of work I decided I didn't have the fitness required to do the job so I handed in my too weak notice

A new law

Two guys walk into a bar and order lunch. "What brings you guys in today?" the bartender asks. "I guess you haven't heard yet. The mayor passed a law yesterday to try to help out local restaurants during Covid-19. All adult males are required to go and eat lunch out with their best male friends at least once a week," one of the guys answers the bartender. "Well it's not a law really," the other guy corrects him. "It's more of a mandate."

Was offered a bowl of dinosaurs to eat from my toddler.

"No thanks! I'm allergic to dinosaurs, they make me break out in Dino sores"

Audible groan and required "I hate you" from their babysitter.

A creationist told me that evolution must be wrong because it violates the second law of thermodynamics

His claim was that in order for simple organisms like bacteria to evolve into much more complex life like fish and mice and horses and gorillas and people, an enormous input of energy would be required, therefore it must be impossible.

I stayed up all night trying to think of something that would refute his claim, and then it dawned on me.

I got pulled over by a state trooper the other day.

Trooper: Your license states that you're required to wear corrective lenses. Where are your glasses?

Me: It's ok. I've got contacts.

Trooper: Listen pal, I don't care who you know!

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are asked to design a fence.

The fence is required to contain as much land as possible for the least amount of fence material.

The engineer says "easy, just make a circular fence"

The physicist says, "wait a second! If you build the fence across the equator you'll have an even higher area/fence ratio!"

The mathematician says "amateurs!". He gets up and builds a tiny fence around his feet and proclaims "I declare myself to be on the outside."

Bobby joins the military.

Recruitment sergeant: what would you like to achieve?
Bobby: I want to be a general after 2 years.
Recruitment sergeant: are you insane?
Bobby: is that required?

A man calls up the White House and tells the receptionist, "I would like to become the next president of the United States."

The receptionist asks, "What are you, an idiot?"

The man asks, "Why, is it required?"

My Engineering Physics Professor told me that I would pass my class "When pigs fly"

I studied hard and applied this wisdom to my senior project.

He never specified that the pig was required to ***sustain*** flight, but I'm assuming that's the reason why I was expelled.

What's the difference between a fetus in the US and a politician in the US?

The fetus is legally required to become a human being.

On a flight from Dublin, Ireland to Boston, the chief flight attendant made an announcement...

"Due to a terrible mistake by the airline's caterer, there are only 80 dinners instead of the 225 required to feed all the passengers on board. To fix the situation, we are offering unlimited drinks to anybody who is willing to give up their meal".

Two hours before landing, another announcement was made. "There are still 80 meals available if anybody is hungry".

When I visited Australia, the immigration officer asked me if I had a criminal record…

Confused, I replied, Oh, is that still required?

Did everyone hear about the new Beastie Boys documentary coming to Netflix?

The 5-part series will release parts A through D this winter. Upon completion, viewers are required to fight for their right to part E.

The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.

I replied "No. Is that still required?"

Stands, tables, meatballs, sofas and Sweden

It's an IKEA joke...some assembly required

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the required assessment puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working required abilities piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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