The Best 59 Require Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Require jokes. There are some require regulations jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these require provide puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Require Jokes and Puns

What has two thumbs and doesn't understand jokes that require a visual component?

This guy!

A pig and a chicken want to open a new restaurant...

The pig asks what they would name it. The Chicken says, "why not eggs and ham?" The pig said no because that would require full commitment from him and left.

So an old Jewish man dies

So an old Jewish man dies and as per his last wish, his son goes to the newspaper publisher and asks, "How much for an obituary in your newspaper?"

Publisher says, "$5 per word".

The son says, "Publish 'Jacob Goldberg Dead' ".

The publisher says, "We require minimum 6 words".

So the son says, "In that case make it 'Jacob Goldberg Dead, Wheelchair For Sale' ".

Require joke, So an old Jewish man dies

The perfect Irish bean stew

(In an Irish accent)
Why does d' perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n' terty nine beans?

Because if you added one more it'd be two farty.

Plato and Aristotle were in the music room of the Academy in Athens.

Plato was at the piano, and Aristotle was holding a small lute in his hands.

Plato, do you know the unpredictability and exactitude of ethics and reflective philosophical hermeneutics require phronesis as an ontological counterpoint to peripatetic conjecture?

No, Plato replied. But if you play a few bars, I may be able to pick it up.

My 20/15 eyesight is really helpful during tough economic times...

because a lot of jobs require minimum supervision.

How to win the war on drugs

1) legalize all drugs.
2) require that all drugs be purchased through Comcast customer service.

Require joke, How to win the war on drugs

Stick and stones may break my bones

But words are triggering and require federal regulation.

I actually heard a joke the other day about an alternate ending to the movie Hook

where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter back to London in a body bag. It's a good joke, if a little dark, but it does require a dead Pan delivery.


I'm in a situation that could require me to pull out some good jokes when asked. I need to hear the best jokes on the internet. The dirtier the better. Thanks in advance

Pokemon Go Is Just Like Tinder

Both apps require you to swipe to catch monsters in your area.

You can explore require tactical reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean require lowest dad jokes. There are also require puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Virginity and candy are a lot a like.

They require minimal force to take from a child.

An old Jewish man dies.

His last wish to his son is to print an obituary. The son goes to newspaper office and asks how much they charge for an obituary. They tell him $5 per word.

He says then print "Solomon dead". The newspaper tell him they require minimum 5 words. He thinks for a moment and says, then make it "Solomon dead, wheelchair for sale".

I would never cheat on my partner.

Because that would require two people to find me attractive.

Why do so many countries need a minister of defence?

I guess they have a lot of fences that require removal.

What's the difference between a painting and Jesus.

You only require one nail to put up the painting.

Require joke, What's the difference between a painting and Jesus.

How many US presidents does it require to change a light bulb?

2. One to change it and the other to proclaim that it is shimming beacon of hope and freedom

Why do most French recipes require only one egg?

In France, one egg is *un oeuf*

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?

Zero. It was engineered properly the first time and does not require changing.

I could never cheat in a relationship

That would require 2 people to find me attractive

If it requires three people to do a threesome then...

That's why people tell me I'm handsome...

Why does United require you sign an NDA?

The first rule of fight club is don't talk about fight club.

Three things funerals and having sex have in common!

1. They both put a stiff in a box.
2. They both require lots of tissues.
3. They can both sometimes make people cry.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I said that was impossible..

Because that would require 2 women to find me attractive.

Parking a single car doesn't require much space.

But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot.

Proof that women are evil.

If we assume :

Women require time and money. Women = time * money

Time equals money. Women = money * money = money^2

Money is the root of all evil. Women = sqrt(evil))^2

Women are evil. Women = evil

Having more kids is like making movie sequels

They require a bigger budget, have a worse plot, and get progressively more difficult to name.

If tea derived from marijuana becomes popular, eventually employees would require...

Pot Tea Training.

Why do banks require 2 graphing calculators to take out a loan?

One to sine and the other to cosine.

My girlfriend said, "If women ruled the world, "there'd be no wars."

"That's true," I replied. "Wars require strategy and logic."

Wife: If women ruled the world there would be no wars.

Husband: That is true - wars require strategy and logic.

What does nihilistic alphabet soup always require?

C's to exist

My wife said if women ruled the earth, there'd be no wars.

Yes, i replied. Wars require strategy and logic

Why do ambulances require two drivers at all times?

Because they're a pair o' medics.

We're hiring: a mime needed!

We require you to be able to think outside the box, give us a shout and we'll tell you more!

Why do colleges require students to pay for books?

The intent is to provide students with aΒ senseΒ of pride and accomplishmentΒ for unlocking different classes.

What's the difference between whites and blacks?

They require different laundry machine settings.

Why does Nintendo require an online subscription to finish Final Fantasy VII?

Cloud saves.

Why does Thanos Car have top of the line tires?

The hardest choices require the strongest of wheels.

In a democracy one's voice is intimated.

When you require 'id' it's intimidated.

Politicians are like soft poops

They move with a light push, leave a stinky mess behind, and require lots of paper to clean up.

Baking and boxing are very similar

They both require you to beat until thick

Why don't more bakers make dill bread?

Because that woild require them to play with more dill dough.

What pants are the safest.

Jeans. They require a 2 step verification process to pee.

"You would never cheat on me," my wife said.

"Let me guess," I replied. "Because that would require two people to find me attractive?"

She said, "No, only one..."

Next Black Mirror episode will require

you to write and direct it yourself while Charlie Brooker goes on a vacation.

My mom sent me sweets, but I'm on diet, so I eat all of them in one day and be on diet whole month

[Modern problem require Modern Solution]

you might think babies are delivered by storks

but fat babies require cranes

Mumble rappers and Japanese Anime are the same

both require subtitles.

A requirement to be a pilot is to be good at basic math

So I asked a couple pilots what 300 + 90 was and they all said 30. I guess they are not that smart after all.

Just discovered there is an award you can give that doesn't require buying any coins!

I've been handing out orange and blue arrows ever since.

A young man at his wit's end called the Suicide Hotline for help. Unfortunately he was greeted by an automated voice message after waiting for several rings.

"Hello," spoke an artificial sounding voice on the other line "we regret to inform you that the Suicide Hotline is no longer in service. If you do require assistance with your suicide please use the emergency number 911 and an officer will be out to assist you shortly."

Walmart has announced it will now require shoppers to wear masks in its stores.

However, pants will still be optional.

Why as it important for Ted Cruz to be in Cancun while Texas is freezing?

Reptiles require sunlight.

Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 81, your two hour rental period is up, please return to the dock.

Boat rental intern to manager: uh, sir, we only have 60 boats.

Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 18, do you require assistance?

A concert promoter walks into a bar

A concert promoter walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Now that they are easing the Covid restrictions have you been able to plan any big events?" the bartender asks. "Well, we're planning a Foreigner reunion concert for later this summer. But we're still going to require mandatory temperature checks for everyone that enters the venue," the promoter says. "If you're hot-blooded, they'll check it and see."

People whose jobs require them to enter someone else's house, such as plumbers and electricians, what is the weirdest thing you've seen at a customer's house?

My wife.

I would never ever cheat in a Relationship..

because that would require 2 people to find me attractive.

The best beginner pet is a Hamster.

They live for 5 days and don't require any food or water.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the require implement jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working require reduce piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes