Reputation Jokes
58 reputation jokes and hilarious reputation puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about reputation that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Reputation Short Jokes
Short reputation jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reputation humour may include short fame jokes also.
- Well... there goes Ted's reputation Trump: No one embarrasses themselves on Twitter like I do
Ted Cruz: Hold my milk
Trump: Wait, this isn't milk... - Why did the narcolepsy patient have boys lining up outside her front door? She had a reputation for sleeping around.
- I don't know why Jews have the reputation of being so successful... You never hear about a single one bringing home the bacon
- I think my friend Ben has a bad reputation. Every time I tell someone that me and my other buddy are friends with Ben Ofitz, they give me a strange look.
- When hunters go ammunition shopping, they have a reputation for being cheapskates... They're always trying to get the best bang for their buck
- What did the pacifist cannibal do to earn his bad reputation? Nothing. He's just full of himself.
- Now that the Wild Boars are all safe... ...Thailand maintains its reputation of happy endings.
- "I have a reputation for being flakey but I get away with it because I'm hot" You get away with it because you're a biscuit
- I don't know why Roy Moore is surprised at loosing the election. He did have a reputation for coming in a little behind.
- I knew Dortmund had a reputation ... ...for being explosive down the right flank but I didn't think *that* was what they meant!
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Reputation One Liners
Which reputation one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reputation? I can suggest the ones about publicity and popularity.
- I dated a lawyer once Makes sense.
She had a reputation for settling - They're re-making Gone in 60 Seconds It's a bio-pic about Kevin Spacey's reputation.
- Pedophiles have kind of a bad reputation... ...but they drive slow near schools
- For sale. Baby Shoes. Never Worn. —Any Reputable Baby Shoe Salesman
- It's hard when you work at Black Angus Your whole reputation is at steak.
- What piece of furniture can you always trust? A Reputable.
- Why did the cow go to the BBQ restaurant? She had her reputation at stake.
- Pirates developed a bad reputation... From dealing seaweed.
- Why do averages get a bad reputation? It's because they're mean!
- My grammar may be poor, but my grilling is impeccable. I'd steak my reputation on that.
- What was it that completely broke the reputation of United Airlines? Nobody nose
- What's faster than Comcast's internet? Their bad reputation.
- That deli has a reputation for sub-par hoagies, ...but the one I had was exactly average.
Great Reputation Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about reputation you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean renowned jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make reputation pranks.
A Baptist preacher sits next to a cowboy on a flight...
After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink.
Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be t**... and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips."
The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."
Not Pregnant
A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say "Your daughter is pregnant."
The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would not compromise her reputation by having s**... with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.
The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?"
"Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the East, and three wise men came. I was hoping that they would show up again."
Joey the altar boy goes to confession and says...
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.
"Well, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.'
Politican sees the scottish barber
A politician went to his Scottish barber and asked, "Cut the word 'yes' into my haircut in back so when I sleep they'll know my vote.".
A week later he comes back and asks, "What did you do? My wife stopped cheating, and I've now got a reputation for looking out for corruption."
Barber says, "Well ye do have an 'aye' in the back of yer head."
Confession
Matthew goes into a confessional box and says "Bless me father for I have sinned, I have been with a loose woman."
The Priest says "is that you Matthew?"
"Yes father, it is I."
"Who was the woman you were with?"
"I cannot tell you for I do not wish to sully her reputation."
The priest asks "Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"No father."
"Was it Fiona MacDonald?"
"No father."
"Was it Ann Brown?"
"No father, I cannot tell you."
The priest says "I admire your perseverance but you must atone for your sins. Your penance will be five Our Fathers and four Hail Marys."
Matthew goes back to his pew and his buddy Sean slides over and asks "What did you get?" Matthew replies "I got five Our Fathers, four Hail Marys and three good leads."
A kid goes to church to confess...
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."
"Remember," said my boss, "It takes 20 years to build a reputation..."
"...And only a few seconds to say I had s**... with your daughter."
The Priest and the Altar Boy
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.'
Two blondes were driving along in a car...
...when they came across an open field with another blond sitting in a canoe and pretending to row it.
One blonde in the car says to the other, "See, it's things like this that gives blonde a bad reputation, if I could swim, I would go out there and bash her".
A man is trying to join a country club with a history of racism
The head of the club says "you may have heard of our reputation, and it does affect who joins". He pulls out a revolver and says "go shoot five black people and one rabbit"
"Why do i have to shoot a rabbit?" Says the man.
"You'll fit in well here" says the head.
Why did Nixon have a reputation for not being punctual?
He is, after all, the late Richard Nixon.
What was h**...'s philosophy on PR?
Weimar your reputation when you know you're in the r**...!
I've never understood why Communists don't have the same reputation as the n**...
must be the Jews...
Disney princesses usually have a good reputation.
But Sleeping Beauty is mistaken as a bad influence because she is always under a rest
A bus breaks down and the driver pops the hood to investigate
A blonde passenger who is a certified mechanic comes out with her toolbox, eager to help and show off her training and also give blondes a good reputation for a change. She leans behind the bus driver and sees a loose bolt, so, helpful, she asks: "Fancy a screw driver?"
About the issue of celebrities getting their n**... leaked...
On one hand, I fell really bad for them as that's their reputation on the line and possibly their career.
On the other hand however, well, that hand was busy.
Michael Cera has a reputation for being just as awkward as the characters he portrays on the screen. He doesn't let what is said behind his back bother him.
Que Cera, Cera is how he lives his life.
House of ill repute
There's a house of ill repute, up on a hill. There's a man going up the hill, there's a man coming down the hill and there's a man in the house.
What nationalities are they?
Man going up the hill- he's Russian
Man coming down the hill- he's Finnish
Man in the house- Himalayan
A reporter is at the airport, writing a piece on the womanising reputation of airline pilots.
She approaches a handsome, uniformed captain and asks, "for my article, can you please tell me the last time you made love?
It was 1959 , says the pilot.
"Oh wow, that long ago?" she responds, "I thought you airline pilots held a reputation as real ladies men"
Pilot looks at his watch and says "Well, considering it's only 2025 now..."
The pitcher who held the record for walking batters had a reputation as a tough guy.
Because it took a lot of b**....
I got my son a bicycle for his birthday once.
I bought the bike from a reputed bicycle store and it was top of the line.
When my son's birthday came around, I unveiled it to him.
My son immediately started to cry and scream at me.
Just because he's in a wheelchair doesn't excuse the fact that he's an ungrateful little s**....
A man was taken to court by several people for spreading scandalous rumors about their s**... lives
The judge asked the man, "Do you have anything to say in your defense?"
"Well your honor," responded the man. "I grew up on a very small land mass in the ocean and its just a part of our culture."
Not satisfied, the judge asked, "What culture could you possibly belong to that would lead you to besmirch these good people's reputations?"
The man shrugged and responded, "Islander."
(this just came to me)
A good reputation should be like a good f**...
It should precede before your presence and linger after your absence.
I had a job offer in Newark, but I heard it's dangerous...
So I called a friend of a friend who lives there. He said, "It has a bad reputation, but if you use basic caution and common sense, it can be a fun, vibrant place to live."
I said, "Cool! By the way, what do you do there?"
He said, "I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck."
Blonde lady driving down a dirt road…
When she sees another blonde woman in a row boat out in the middle of a cotton field. She slams on her brakes, fuming, and yells out to the lady in the boat HEY!! IT'S DUMB BLONE b**... LIKE YOU THAT GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD REPUTATION!! AND IF I COULD SWIM, I'D COME KICK YOUR a**...!!
little johnny finally got to the third date....
and knowing the reputation of the girl he was seeing, knew that he would "get lucky" on this one... so off to the drug store he goes to get a c**....
"i got a hot date tonight and i need a c**...!" he tells the employee there, who hands it over almost immediately...
"that'll be a dollar, plus tax" says the employee...
"tax?" little johnny asks...
"dont they stay on by themselves?"
