Republicans Jokes

What are some Republicans jokes?

Why will the congress never impeach Trump?

Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

The problem with Trump jokes:

Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They're afraid of change- even if it makes the world a brighter place.

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Republicans are the true snowflakes...

they're white, they're cold, and if you put enough of em together they'll shut down public schools

EDIT* Thanks for the gold! You popped my gold cherry!

its a joke folks. just a joke.

Comey: He's guilty

Democrats: He's guilty

Trump: I'm guilty

Republicans: We may never get to the bottom of this

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb just burned out; this is not the time to discuss it.

How to solve Global Warming:

Convince republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.

How many Republicans does it take to change a light-bulb?

None.

Trump lies, tells them it was changed and they sit in the dark.

So I've got some buddies...

They just so happen to be a high-ranking officials in Denver,Colorado. They're currently trying to get Republicans and Democrats to both agree to legalize medical marijuana to ease arthritis symptoms. I guess you could say I have friends in high places in high places in high places for joint support for joint support for joint support.

How do you solve climate change?

Convince Republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.

What is the one thing that Democrats and Republicans can agree on?

They should allow guns at the Republican convention

If muslims want to get into the US, they can just pretend they're Christians.

You know, just like Republicans.

Those "Run Hillary, Run!" bumper stickers are selling incredibly well

Democrats put them on the back of their cars, Republicans put them on the front!

We should start calling the planet "unborn baby"

maybe then republicans would want to save it.

How can we get Republicans to care about climate change?

Blame it on the poor.

A plane full of republicans had been captured by al queda

They have posted a video online saying that unless the us government pays them ten million dollars, they will start returning them, one by one

I can't believe all of those women voted yes to pass Kavanaugh out of the Judiciary committee.

Well, I mean they voted no, but to Republicans that means yes.

Its not surprising that Republicans lost two presidental races to Obama

In long races usually the guy from Kenya wins.

Why do Republicans make good DJs?

Because they know how to shut the House down.

What do condoms and taxes have in common?

Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.

It always shocks me when people say republicans are anti-communists

With trying to make abortions illegal, get rid of birth control, defund planned parenthood, those all are textbook examples of seizing the means of reproduction.

If liberals are libtards...

Doesn't that make republicans just plain ole retards?

The Republicans keep saying we need more Jesus in our country.

So why they want to build a wall to keep them all out?

Why are there insulting names for liberals like libtard but none for Republicans?

Because calling someone a Republican is insulting enough

Why do Republicans hate lotion?

Because the directions say to apply it liberally.

House republicans couldn't agree on contraceptive coverage...

... so they just pulled out instead.

Why will Congress never impeach Trump?

Republicans insist on carrying a baby to full term, even if it was a drastic accident.

Every wonder why Republicans use two hands when they're drinking out of a water bottle?

It's to prevent it from trickling down.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They only screw the poor.

Democrats have been really angry over the 2016 election results

The last time Democrats were THIS angry is when the Republicans took their slaves away

Republicans and Democrats never agree on anything

Republicans said the temperature is -40° F
And democrats immediately said it was -40° C.

Survey finds that 1 in 3 Republicans are of below average IQ

The other two are Russian Hackers.

What do Republicans use for birth control?

Their personality.

I haven't seen the democrats this mad at republicans...

... Since they freed the slaves

Republicans: "We couldn't possibly lose Alabama!"

Roy Moore: "hold my beer kids"

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they prefer to sit in the dark and blame liberals.

What's the biggest difference between Republicans and Democrats?

Republicans sign their checks on the front, and democrats sign on the back.

A blind answer poll was made to dads everywhere, whether they liked Republicans or Democrats.

The only answer they got back was "Yes."

I don't understand why people think Donald Trump is making republicans look bad...

Every time he speaks I appreciate Mitt Romney more and more.

Election One-Liner

Looks like the Democrats were holding strong in the Midwest until the republicans got off work..

How much in royalties did 50 Cent get paid by Republicans?

It's obviously a cover of Get Rich or Die Tryin'

Why are republicans pro-life?

Can't molest what isn't born!

There was a Political Drum-Off last week, sponsored by the mathletes...

Democrats and Republicans took turns showing off their best drum licks, while answering math problems in between.

Turns out the Republicans lost. They couldn't handle Al Gore rhythms.

Why do Republicans hate sick eagles?

Because they're illegals

How are the homeless like votes?

Republicans have them thrown out.

Republicans might be worried that the "repeal and replace" failed...

But it's okay; burns are covered by the Affordable Care Act.

They say that Republicans no longer embody the Christian values they preach...

That's a little unfair if you ask me. They follow the golden rule perfectly. Whoever has the gold, rules.

A train carrying republicans to a retreat crashed into a garbage truck.

It's all ok everybody. The trash was completely unharmed.

I thought Republicans were the stupidest people in the world for calling Obama "Hussein"

Then I saw the Democrats call Trump "Drumpf"

Q: Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11?

A: Elephants never forget.

Why are Republicans so easy to point out?

They're usually the elephant in the room

What color are your panties, babe?

Boy: What color are your panties, babe?

Girl: Why do you keep asking me stupid questions, don't you ever think about anything else?

Boy: Ok, do you think the republicans should support the congress with their decision to raise the debt ceiling ?

Girl:You know i am wearing your favourite purple lace panties..You want a pic?

Republicans run for office by saying the government doesn't work...

Then they get elected and prove it.

The problem with politics today...

Republicans treat people like dogs
and
Democrats treat dogs like people

Concerning Michael Flynn

The real question on republicans minds right now: what happens to the validity of Flynn's testimony when he gets autism after receiving immunity?

Republicans were just informed about the effects of Global Warming on the polar ice caps

They're losing their cool!

How come Republicans don't like math?

because they don't want to see integration in school

Before the shooting the worst problem at the congressional baseball game was...

Republicans don't want to play left field.
Democrats don't want to play right.
Nobody wants to play center.

If Trump becomes president, I would really like to see how Republicans are going to defend him for doing the same thing Obama did:

Nothing.

You cannot tell Donald Trump jokes anymore

Republicans don't think they are funny and Democrats don't think they are jokes.

Why do Republicans use rulers?

They want everything to be straight.

Why does America have so many boasting Republicans?

Because it needs some bragging rights.

Why do the republicans defend the 2nd amendment so hard?

They need it to shoot themselves in the foot.

Someone should tell trump and his fellow Republicans that the constitution isn't a bible

You can't pick and choose which parts you want to obey.

My girlfriends nervous about giving birth. I said don't worry, women have been doing it for over 100,000 years..

.. Or in the case of Republicans, women have been doing it for 6,000 years or less

What's the difference between democrats and republicans in America?

One group wants to abolish ICE, the other wants to abolish ice.

Recent study shows 3% of scientists are Republicans

Scientists are still baffled at how high this number is.

Why do Republicans push abstinence?

They don't want to be the only ones not getting action!

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one really, but be prepared to spend about $8 million USD in "Campaign Donations" if you ever want one to care about somebody else's problem

My dad was trying to tell me that Republicans want liberty and justice for their rear ends

His exact words were "their pro-states rights"

Republican Health Plan

Since Republicans are dismantling Obamacare, they wanted to coin a name for their new health plan. They came up with Nobodycare.

How many republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Still waiting to see. After 7 years, they're still not sure how to replace it.

What do Republicans call droppin it like it's hot?

The Birther Movement

Republicans love black people!

They send millions of them to a place where they get a free room, free rent and a gym membership

How do Republicans drive cars?

With Cruz control.

Study shows that 1 out of 3 republicans

are equally dumb as the remaining 2

How to make Republicans jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Republicans to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Republicans? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Republicans pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes