Following is our collection of romney humor and nomination one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Republican puns for adults, dirty reelection jokes or clean gop gags for kids.
There is an abundance of libertarian jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 63 funniest jokes on republican. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any congressional witze you can hear about republican.
None. They're afraid of change- even if it makes the world a brighter place.
(
they're white, they're cold, and if you put enough of em together they'll shut down public schools
EDIT* Thanks for the gold! You popped my gold cherry!
its a joke folks. just a joke.
The lightbulb just burned out; this is not the time to discuss it.
...
Change? That's socialism.
Hollywood won't work with a Republican.
I mean, the last time people were this upset about something an actor did to a Republican in a theater, the Civil War had just ended.
None.
Trump lies, tells them it was changed and they sit in the dark.
I won't be leaving the house.
(Heard this on the podcast Fake the Nation and thought you all would like it.)
Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term.
Bartender says, "Sorry. Republican Convention is next door."
Put it in a science textbook.
If a Republican wins, I'm also leaving.
This has nothing to do with politics.
I just really want to travel.
I can't wait to hear it again at the next Republican National Convention.
They should allow guns at the Republican convention
So, he replaced the word "women" with "white, rich, republican women". The audience stopped complaining.
Blame it on the poor.
One day George W. Bush was walking through Washington when he spotted a boy selling week old "Republican Puppies", delighted he resolved to come back with reporters in a few weeks for his campaign. When he came back the boy was now selling "Democratic Puppies". Disgruntled he asked why and the boy said,
"They used to be Republican Puppies, but now they've opened their eyes."
The mother thinks hard and comes up with this explanation for the child.
A Democrat is like that very nice aunt you have that always promises to take you to Disneyland. But something always comes up and you never actually go.
A Republican is like a grumpy uncle. Every time you ask him about Disneyland he says absolutely not, we don't have enough money.
But then later you find out that he went with out you anyway.
- Corey Kahaney
I don't know, let me go check my Facebook feed.
A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny. The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different... again. Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan." The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of Obama?" Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican." The teacher asked him why he was a Republican. Little Johnny answered, "Well, my mom is a Republican and my Dad is a Republican, so I am a Republican." Annoyed by the answer, the teacher asked, "If your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"
With a big smile, little Johnny replied, "That would make me an Obama fan."
Because they know how to shut the House down.
Donald Trump was talking about how opposed to it he was, but I thought to myself, come on Don, you're a businessman. I bet you wouldn't be this upset if you could charge them an early termination fee.
It's way too long, and the protagonists are becoming more juvenile as it goes on.
A Democrat shows up and throws him 200 feet of rope. The excess rope weighs the victim down and he drowns.
A Republican shows up and throws out 50 feet of rope and demands that the victim take some responsibility for himself and swim to the rope. He can't and drowns.
A libertarian shows up and shrugs it isn't my problem and just goes away; the victim drowns.
A bunch of Tea Party types show up. One throws the victim a heavy rock; the victim drowns and all of the tea partiers cheer.
A Green Party member shows up. He yells at the victim for polluting the water. The victim drowns.
On his deathbed, a lifelong Republican supporter suddenly announced that he was switching to the Democrats. I can't believe you're doing this. said his friend. For your entire life you're been a staunch Republican. Why would you want to become a Democrat now? Because I'd rather it was one of them that dies than one of us.
Whatever the Republican Party tells me too say.
...maybe Hillary should consider running as a Republican!
The Republican gets butthurt when OTHER people receive sodomy
The Democrats left her with a bad taste in her mouth.
Which is surprising, since I just assumed he was running as a joke.
They're all butthurt.
None. Trump just says it's fixed and the rest of them sit in the dark and applaud
To be laid to rest beside the remains of the Republican party
Because calling someone a Republican is insulting enough
So why they want to build a wall to keep them all out?
Because the directions say to apply it liberally.
Apparently the Republican Party wants him to run for President.
The conversation really went south.
It is only 1 Pence.
It's to prevent it from trickling down.
Because the sunscreen instructed to apply liberally and he was unwilling to compromise.
None. They only screw the poor.
I thought we had seen the end of republican trickle down economics.
Or is he just going to sit in the corner and watch?
A Republican sees a man drowning 50 feet from the pier. He throws the man a 25 foot rope, and expects him to swim half way.
A Democrat sees a man drowning 50 feet from the pier. He throws him a 100 foot rope. Then lets of of his end.
When the results of his test come back he gets called in and the person asks him, first, are you a Democrat or Republican?
The man says, what? What does that have to do with anything?
Well, if you're a Democrat you've got Covid. But if you're a Republican it's just a hoax.
He should have never admitted that he is a Republican. Some things are just better kept in the closet.
Ever since then, she's voted Democrat.
This come as a great relief to Democratic challenger Kid Scissors.
You see, she's a Republican.
Now he just has to run as a Republican
Now I know how the Republican party feels.
He sees three brains sitting on the table a regular brain, a republican brain and a liberal brain.
Buyer: how much is each brain?
The seller: the regular brain is 200 dollars the republican brain is 300 dollars
But this here the liberal brain is 15,000 dollars.
Buyer: Oh Lord why is the liberal brain so expensive?
Seller: well it's never been used before!
Republicans said the temperature is -40° F
And democrats immediately said it was -40° C.
They picked it up and a genie popped out.
"I will grant you each one wish, whatever you desire", said the genie.
The Democrat said, "I would like for my fellow liberals and I to live the life and exist under the form of government we believe in!" POOF! All the Democrats in America were whisked away to Venezuela.
The genie turns to the Republican and said, "And what is your wish?"
The Republican paused for a second and said, "You mean to tell me that all the Democrats in America are gone?"
The genie answered, "Yes!"
The Republican goes, "In that case, I'll take a beer."
Their personality.
White Whine.
It was a bi-party-son agreement.
Roy Moore: "hold my beer kids"
None, they prefer to sit in the dark and blame liberals.
Can't molest what isn't born!
He sees three brains on display.
One is a Libertarian Brain, priced at $250.
The second is a Republican Brain, priced at $275.
The third is a Democrat Brain, priced at $5,000,000.
The Guy asks the sales clerk, Man, why does the Democrat brain cost so much more than the other two? Clerk replies, Well, sir, that brain has never been used.
The democrats just left a bad taste in her mouth
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.