Republican Jokes
131 republican jokes and hilarious republican puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about republican that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some laughs? Check out our collection of jokes about Republicans!
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Funniest Republican Short Jokes
Short republican jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The republican humour may include short libertarian jokes also.
- Why will the congress never impeach Trump? Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.
- The problem with Trump jokes: Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.
- What's the difference between Republicans and Ukrainians? Ukrainians defend their Capitol.
- A Republican Senator and a Democratic Senator are drowning and you can only save one. Do you... A: Have lunch.
B: Browse reddit. - Comey: He's guilty Democrats: He's guilty
Trump: I'm guilty
Republicans: We may never get to the bottom of this - How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? The lightbulb just burned out; this is not the time to discuss it.
- According to my calculations, about 40% of Americans are Republicans But that's just a Conservative estimate
- How are republicans and democrats like divorced parents? They care more about you hating the other person than they do about your well-being.
- I'm dressing as the Republican healthcare bill for Halloween. I won't be leaving the house.
(Heard this on the podcast Fake the Nation and thought you all would like it.) - Do you want to know why the republicans won't impeach Trump? Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term.
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Republican One Liners
Which republican one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with republican? I can suggest the ones about conservative and democrats.
- Why can't republicans use hand sanitizer? Because the directions say to apply liberally
- Why did Republicans get mad when Sting got a facelift? Because they hate Police reform.
- How do you hide money from a Republican? Put it in a science textbook.
- How can we get Republicans to care about climate change? Blame it on the poor.
- Why do Republicans make good DJs? Because they know how to shut the House down.
- Why do Republicans hate lotion? Because the directions say to apply it liberally.
- I talked to my Republican parents about immigration. The conversation really went south.
- I haven't seen the democrats this mad at republicans... ... Since they freed the slaves
- TIL my mom isn't a member of any organized political party. You see, she's a Republican.
- What do Republicans use for birth control? Their personality.
- What is the favorite drink of the Republican Party? White Whine.
- The republicans are right: It is a very dangerous precedent
- Republicans: "We couldn't possibly lose Alabama!" Roy Moore: "hold my beer kids"
- What do Republicans and Democrats have in common? Epsteins island.
- Q: Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11? A: Elephants never forget.
Republican Democratic Jokes
Here is a list of funny republican democratic jokes and even better republican democratic puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is the one thing that Democrats and Republicans can agree on? They should allow guns at the Republican convention
- Those "Run Hillary, Run!" bumper stickers are selling incredibly well Democrats put them on the back of their cars, Republicans put them on the front!
- What did one passive aggressive republican say to the passive aggressive democrat? I don't know, let me go check my Facebook feed.
- Finally, a fact both Democrats and Republicans can agree on! "Anyone with half a brain knows Trump won."
- I heard that Monica Lewinsky voted Republican this year. The Democrats left her with a bad taste in her mouth.
- What do condoms and taxes have in common? Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.
- A Democrat, a Republican and a guy with hemmerhoids walk into a bar... They're all butthurt.
- I try to reassure everyone I meet, Republican or Democrat alike - the cost of replacing Trump is actually not that high. It is only 1 Pence.
- Looks like the Democrats were holding strong in the Midwest until the republicans got off work.
- My grandmother voted Republican until the day she died. Ever since then, she's voted Democrat.
Democrat Republican Jokes
Here is a list of funny democrat republican jokes and even better democrat republican puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the biggest difference between Republicans and Democrats? Republicans sign their checks on the front, and democrats sign on the back.
- Kid Rock announced he won't be running for the Republican Michigan Senate nomination . This come as a great relief to Democratic challenger Kid Scissors.
- Republicans and Democrats never agree on anything Republicans said the temperature is -40° F
And democrats immediately said it was -40° C. - A blind answer poll was made to dads everywhere, whether they liked Republicans or Democrats. The only answer they got back was "Yes."
- OVERHEARD: "My father was a Republican until the day he died.. Then he became a Democrat."
- Before the shooting the worst problem at the congressional baseball game was... Republicans don't want to play left field.
Democrats don't want to play right.
Nobody wants to play center. - A Republican, a Democrat, and a Socialist live in the same building. One day there is a fire, but only the Socialist dies. Why? everyone else was at work.
- The only reason the Democrats haven't risen up and overthrown the government The Republicans are the ones with the guns.
- What's the difference between democrats and republicans in America? One group wants to abolish ICE, the other wants to abolish ice.
- Why were Democrats in the lead early on? Republicans weren't off of work yet.
Republican Party Jokes
Here is a list of funny republican party jokes and even better republican party puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Apparently the Republican party are considering banning coffee... Part of their war on woke.
- I hear Harvey Weinstein's call sheet has been blowing up lately. Apparently the Republican Party wants him to run for President.
- I clicked "Submit a Joke" before thinking of what I'd say Now I know how the Republican party feels.
- I didn't know which political party to join so I looked up Republican convictions. Turns out they've had 91 since 1970.
- Today, what does the republican party and dead fish have in common? Red tide
- What's the Republican Party's favorite Halloween costume? A ghost! They like it so much they wear it year round.
- Why was the Republican's birthday so much fun? Because it was a white elephant party.
- What would you need to silence the entire Republican Party? An Elizabeth Warrant
- I think the republican party is correct on a few key issues like...
Republican Candidate Jokes
Here is a list of funny republican candidate jokes and even better republican candidate puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If a Republican candidate who is hated by the GOP establishment and loathed by half the country just won the election... ...maybe Hillary should consider running as a Republican!
- Why are they called jokes? Because calling them republican presidential candidates would make me cry.
- How many Republican candidates does it take to lose a Senate race in Alabama? One Moore.
- Why Gopal from India always votes for the Republican candidate? Because he is GOP pal!

The Funniest Republican Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about republican you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean liberal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make republican pranks.
The difference between a Republican and a Democrat . . .
A Republican sees a man drowning 50 feet from the pier. He throws the man a 25 foot rope, and expects him to swim half way.
A Democrat sees a man drowning 50 feet from the pier. He throws him a 100 foot rope. Then lets of of his end.
Why did the Republican get a sunburn?
Because the sunscreen instructed to apply liberally and he was unwilling to compromise.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I've got some buddies...
They just so happen to be a high-ranking officials in Denver,Colorado. They're currently trying to get Republicans and Democrats to both agree to legalize medical m**... to ease arthritis symptoms. I guess you could say I have friends in high places in high places in high places for joint support for joint support for joint support.
This is a very old joke that I'm sure most people have heard.
One day George W. Bush was walking through Washington when he spotted a boy selling week old "Republican Puppies", delighted he resolved to come back with reporters in a few weeks for his campaign. When he came back the boy was now selling "Democratic Puppies". Disgruntled he asked why and the boy said,
"They used to be Republican Puppies, but now they've opened their eyes."
Donald Trump has been saying he will run for president as a Republican.
Which is surprising, since I just assumed he was running as a joke.
Recently, I was watching the Republican debate, and they were debating abortion.
Donald Trump was talking about how opposed to it he was, but I thought to myself, come on Don, you're a businessman. I bet you wouldn't be this upset if you could charge them an early termination fee.
The Republican primary race should be called "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
It's way too long, and the protagonists are becoming more juvenile as it goes on.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After the recent wave of Trump primary victories, what did Nancy Reagan request for her f**... before she died?
To be laid to rest beside the remains of the Republican party
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are there insulting names for liberals like libtard but none for Republicans?
Because calling someone a Republican is insulting enough
Michelle Obama gave a great speech last night
I can't wait to hear it again at the next Republican National Convention.
People are really upset about how the cast of Hamilton treated Mike Pence.
I mean, the last time people were this upset about something an actor did to a Republican in a theater, the Civil War had just ended.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Democrats have been really angry over the 2016 election results
The last time Democrats were THIS angry is when the Republicans took their slaves away
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm really disappointed after hearing about Trump and the g**... thing.
I thought we had seen the end of republican trickle down economics.
On His Deathbed
On his deathbed, a lifelong Republican supporter suddenly announced that he was switching to the Democrats. I can't believe you're doing this. said his friend. For your entire life you're been a staunch Republican. Why would you want to become a Democrat now? Because I'd rather it was one of them that dies than one of us.
House republicans couldn't agree on contraceptive coverage...
... so they just pulled out instead.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A comedian was getting attacked for his routine being too sexist
So, he replaced the word "women" with "white, rich, republican women". The audience stopped complaining.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to solve Global Warming:
Convince republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We should start calling the planet "unborn baby"
maybe then republicans would want to save it.
A plane full of republicans had been captured by al queda
They have posted a video online saying that unless the us government pays them ten million dollars, they will start returning them, one by one
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian spy, a k**..., and televangelist walk into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry. Republican Convention is next door."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It always shocks me when people say republicans are anti-communists
With trying to make abortions i**..., get rid of birth control, defund planned parenthood, those all are textbook examples of seizing the means of reproduction.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a r**... and a Republican?
Hollywood won't work with a Republican.
A man walks into a shop...
He sees three brains sitting on the table a regular brain, a republican brain and a liberal brain.
Buyer: how much is each brain?
The seller: the regular brain is 200 dollars the republican brain is 300 dollars
But this here the liberal brain is 15,000 dollars.
Buyer: Oh Lord why is the liberal brain so expensive?
Seller: well it's never been used before!
I don't think Elon Musk's comments hurt his odds of being elected to public office
Now he just has to run as a Republican
Every wonder why Republicans use two hands when they're drinking out of a water bottle?
It's to prevent it from trickling down.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a gay person and a Republican?
The Republican gets butthurt when OTHER people receive s**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If liberals are libtards...
Doesn't that make republicans just plain ole r**...?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Republican walks up to a Democratic with a face mask and say, do you know what I say to sheep like you?...
Whatever the Republican Party tells me too say.
There's a new store where I live that only allows Republicans to shop there.
They say the customer is always right
A man gets sick and, fearing he might have Covid, goes to get tested
When the results of his test come back he gets called in and the person asks him, first, are you a Democrat or Republican?
The man says, what? What does that have to do with anything?
Well, if you're a Democrat you've got Covid. But if you're a Republican it's just a hoax.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Does anyone know if j**... Falwell Jr. is still scheduled to speak at the Republican National Convention?
Or is he just going to sit in the corner and watch?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
...
Change? That's socialism.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How can a black man change a republican politician's views on abortion?
Get his wife pregnant
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Joe Biden and trans people have in common?
Republicans want to block their transition
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Republican does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Twelve to investigate Obama's involvement in the failure of the old bulb, 23 to deregulate the lightbulb industry and 51 to pass a tax credit for lightbulb changes.
Since the Democratic Party is led by Sleepy Joe Biden, today they announced that they'd be renaming themselves to the ZZZ Party...
... realizing that the Republican Party name no longer provides a strong enough contrast with their opponents, President Trump and Mitch McConnell declared that they will be changing their name to the Not ZZZ Party.
In the end, Trump cost Republicans the Presidency, the Senate, and the House
He actually did it.. he made America great again!
I was shocked when the Republicans wouldn't vote to convict Trump on his second impeachment.
The first time sure, they always insist a baby is carried to full term.
The second one however, shocking as they actually took care of the baby afterwards.
I was trying to think of past Republicans similar to Marjorie Taylor Greene
But they just Palin comparison.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know what s**... the most about being a democrat in a republican household?
If you try to address the Elephants in the room, you end up making an a**... of yourself
I tried to apply for a medical exemption for the COVID vaccine.
Apparently being a republican isn't an acceptable medical condition.
Republicans in Congress have proposed a bill to ban the sale of shredded cheese in supermarkets across the country
They want to Make America Grate Again.
Republicans want small government
So small that it fits in your doctors office and your bedroom
Why was Megatron not invited to the Republican convention?
Because Megatron was a trans-former.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Democrats have a plan to make the Republicans sound s**....
Operation "Just Let Them Talk"
The Missouri state legislature is considering a ban on female legislators' clothing that leaves their arms exposed
I never thought I'd see a Republican state trying to overturn the right to bare arms
(Yes, this is actually happening)

