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Republican Jokes

138 republican jokes and hilarious republican puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about republican that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for some laughs? Check out our collection of jokes about Republicans!

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Popular Republican Short Jokes

Short republican jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The republican humour may include short libertarian jokes also.

  1. Why will the congress never impeach Trump? Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.
  2. The problem with Trump jokes: Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.
  3. How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They're afraid of change- even if it makes the world a brighter place.
    (
  4. What's the difference between Republicans and Ukrainians? Ukrainians defend their Capitol.
  5. A Republican Senator and a Democratic Senator are drowning and you can only save one. Do you... A: Have lunch.
    B: Browse reddit.
  6. Comey: He's guilty Democrats: He's guilty
    Trump: I'm guilty
    Republicans: We may never get to the bottom of this
  7. How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? The lightbulb just burned out; this is not the time to discuss it.
  8. According to my calculations, about 40% of Americans are Republicans But that's just a Conservative estimate
  9. How are republicans and democrats like divorced parents? They care more about you hating the other person than they do about your well-being.
  10. How to solve Global Warming: Convince republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.

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Republican One Liners

Which republican one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with republican? I can suggest the ones about conservative and democrats.

  1. How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? ...
    Change? That's socialism.
  2. Why can't republicans use hand sanitizer? Because the directions say to apply liberally
  3. Why did Republicans get mad when Sting got a facelift? Because they hate Police reform.
  4. How do you hide money from a Republican? Put it in a science textbook.
  5. How can we get Republicans to care about climate change? Blame it on the poor.
  6. Why do Republicans make good DJs? Because they know how to shut the House down.
  7. Why do Republicans hate lotion? Because the directions say to apply it liberally.
  8. Why are Republicans overweight? So they can own the lbs.
  9. I talked to my Republican parents about immigration. The conversation really went south.
  10. I haven't seen the democrats this mad at republicans... ... Since they freed the slaves
  11. TIL my mom isn't a member of any organized political party. You see, she's a Republican.
  12. What do Republicans use for birth control? Their personality.
  13. What is the favorite drink of the Republican Party? White Whine.
  14. The republicans are right: It is a very dangerous precedent
  15. Republicans: "We couldn't possibly lose Alabama!" Roy Moore: "hold my beer kids"

Democratic Republican Jokes

Here is a list of funny democratic republican jokes and even better democratic republican puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Elections If the Republicans win the midterms, I will leave the United States.
    If the Democrats win the midterms, I will leave the United States
    This is not about politics, I just want to travel.
  • If A Democrat Wins, I'm Leaving, If a Republican wins, I'm also leaving.
    This has nothing to do with politics.
    I just really want to travel.
  • What is the one thing that Democrats and Republicans can agree on? They should allow guns at the Republican convention
  • Those "Run Hillary, Run!" bumper stickers are selling incredibly well Democrats put them on the back of their cars, Republicans put them on the front!
  • What did one passive aggressive republican say to the passive aggressive democrat? I don't know, let me go check my Facebook feed.
  • Finally, a fact both Democrats and Republicans can agree on! "Anyone with half a brain knows Trump won."
  • I heard that Monica Lewinsky voted Republican this year. The Democrats left her with a bad taste in her mouth.
  • A Republican walks up to a Democratic with a face mask and say, do you know what I say to sheep like you?... Whatever the Republican Party tells me too say.
  • What do condoms and taxes have in common? Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.
  • A Democrat, a Republican and a guy with hemmerhoids walk into a bar... They're all butthurt.

Republican Democratic Jokes

Here is a list of funny republican democratic jokes and even better republican democratic puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I try to reassure everyone I meet, Republican or Democrat alike - the cost of replacing Trump is actually not that high. It is only 1 Pence.
  • Democrats have been really angry over the 2016 election results The last time Democrats were THIS angry is when the Republicans took their slaves away
  • Looks like the Democrats were holding strong in the Midwest until the republicans got off work.
  • My grandmother voted Republican until the day she died. Ever since then, she's voted Democrat.
  • What's the biggest difference between Republicans and Democrats? Republicans sign their checks on the front, and democrats sign on the back.
  • Kid Rock announced he won't be running for the Republican Michigan Senate nomination . This come as a great relief to Democratic challenger Kid Scissors.
  • Republicans and Democrats never agree on anything Republicans said the temperature is -40° F
    And democrats immediately said it was -40° C.
  • A gay Republican impregnants a Lesbian Democrat at a crazy house party. They decide to share custody of the child. It was a bi-party-son agreement.
  • Did you hear Monica Lewinsky became a republican? The democrats just left a bad taste in her mouth
  • A blind answer poll was made to dads everywhere, whether they liked Republicans or Democrats. The only answer they got back was "Yes."
Republican joke, A blind answer poll was made to dads everywhere, whether they liked Republicans or Democrats.

Democrat Republican Jokes

Here is a list of funny democrat republican jokes and even better democrat republican puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do Republicans and Democrats have in common? Epsteins island.
  • The problem with politics today... Republicans treat people like dogs
    and
    Democrats treat dogs like people
  • Why are Democrats considered more attractive than Republicans? Never heard of a hot piece of elephant.
  • I thought Republicans were the stupidest people in the world for calling Obama "Hussein" Then I saw the Democrats call Trump "Drumpf"
  • Apparently Monica Lewinsky is voting Republican The Democrats must've left a bad taste in her mouth
    (Shamefully stolen from facebook sorry if it's a repost)
  • OVERHEARD: "My father was a Republican until the day he died.. Then he became a Democrat."
  • You cannot tell Donald Trump jokes anymore Republicans don't think they are funny and Democrats don't think they are jokes.
  • Before the shooting the worst problem at the congressional baseball game was... Republicans don't want to play left field.
    Democrats don't want to play right.
    Nobody wants to play center.
  • A Republican, a Democrat, and a Socialist live in the same building. One day there is a fire, but only the Socialist dies. Why? everyone else was at work.
  • The only reason the Democrats haven't risen up and overthrown the government The Republicans are the ones with the guns.

Republican Democrat Jokes

Here is a list of funny republican democrat jokes and even better republican democrat puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between democrats and republicans in America? One group wants to abolish ICE, the other wants to abolish ice.
  • Why were Democrats in the lead early on? Republicans weren't off of work yet.
  • My life long Republican grandfather voted Democrat for the first time this election. He died 2 years ago. We miss you Pappy.
  • How can you be both right and wrong? Be a republican from a democrat's point of view.
  • My Dad voted Republican his entire life. After he died he voted Democrat
  • Q: How many Democrats does it take to clean up a disastrous Bush presidency?
    A: At least two!
  • How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? Republicans don't change light bulbs. They hide the ladders, blame the Democrats for the dark, and send their condol
  • Did you hear Monica Lewinsky is republican now? The democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.
    (Shoutout to south park for this joke, i had to share it)
  • What do conservatives, republicans, liberals, and democrats all have in common? They're all boring people for getting so involved in politics
  • Democrats are quick to say their side is right but Republicans are even quicker. You might even say they're Russian it.
Republican joke, Democrats are quick to say their side is right but Republicans are even quicker.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about republican can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of republican puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

The Funniest Republican Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about republican you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean liberal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make republican prank.

Republicans are the true snowflakes...

they're white, they're cold, and if you put enough of em together they'll shut down public schools
EDIT* Thanks for the gold! You popped my gold cherry!
its a joke folks. just a joke.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They only screw the poor.

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat . . .

A Republican sees a man drowning 50 feet from the pier. He throws the man a 25 foot rope, and expects him to swim half way.
A Democrat sees a man drowning 50 feet from the pier. He throws him a 100 foot rope. Then lets of of his end.

Why did the Republican get a sunburn?

Because the sunscreen instructed to apply liberally and he was unwilling to compromise.

So I've got some buddies...

They just so happen to be a high-ranking officials in Denver,Colorado. They're currently trying to get Republicans and Democrats to both agree to legalize medical m**... to ease arthritis symptoms. I guess you could say I have friends in high places in high places in high places for joint support for joint support for joint support.

This is a very old joke that I'm sure most people have heard.

One day George W. Bush was walking through Washington when he spotted a boy selling week old "Republican Puppies", delighted he resolved to come back with reporters in a few weeks for his campaign. When he came back the boy was now selling "Democratic Puppies". Disgruntled he asked why and the boy said,
"They used to be Republican Puppies, but now they've opened their eyes."

Donald Trump has been saying he will run for president as a Republican.

Which is surprising, since I just assumed he was running as a joke.

Recently, I was watching the Republican debate, and they were debating abortion.

Donald Trump was talking about how opposed to it he was, but I thought to myself, come on Don, you're a businessman. I bet you wouldn't be this upset if you could charge them an early termination fee.

The Republican primary race should be called "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"

It's way too long, and the protagonists are becoming more juvenile as it goes on.

After the recent wave of Trump primary victories, what did Nancy Reagan request for her f**... before she died?

To be laid to rest beside the remains of the Republican party

Why are there insulting names for liberals like libtard but none for Republicans?

Because calling someone a Republican is insulting enough

Its not surprising that Republicans lost two presidental races to Obama

In long races usually the guy from kenya wins.

Michelle Obama gave a great speech last night

I can't wait to hear it again at the next Republican National Convention.

If a Republican candidate who is hated by the GOP establishment and loathed by half the country just won the election...

...maybe Hillary should consider running as a Republican!

People are really upset about how the cast of Hamilton treated Mike Pence.

I mean, the last time people were this upset about something an actor did to a Republican in a theater, the Civil War had just ended.

On His Deathbed

On his deathbed, a lifelong Republican supporter suddenly announced that he was switching to the Democrats. I can't believe you're doing this. said his friend. For your entire life you're been a staunch Republican. Why would you want to become a Democrat now? Because I'd rather it was one of them that dies than one of us.

If muslims want to get into the US, they can just pretend they're Christians.

You know, just like Republicans.

House republicans couldn't agree on contraceptive coverage...

... so they just pulled out instead.

A comedian was getting attacked for his routine being too sexist

So, he replaced the word "women" with "white, rich, republican women". The audience stopped complaining.

How do you solve climate change?

Convince Republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.

We should start calling the planet "unborn baby"

maybe then republicans would want to save it.

A plane full of republicans had been captured by al queda

They have posted a video online saying that unless the us government pays them ten million dollars, they will start returning them, one by one

How many Republicans does it take to change a light-bulb?

None.
Trump lies, tells them it was changed and they sit in the dark.

A Russian spy, a k**..., and televangelist walk into a bar.

Bartender says, "Sorry. Republican Convention is next door."

It always shocks me when people say republicans are anti-communists

With trying to make abortions i**..., get rid of birth control, defund planned parenthood, those all are textbook examples of seizing the means of reproduction.

I hear Harvey Weinstein's call sheet has been blowing up lately.

Apparently the Republican Party wants him to run for President.

I'm dressing as the Republican healthcare bill for Halloween.

I won't be leaving the house.
(Heard this on the podcast Fake the Nation and thought you all would like it.)

What's the difference between a r**... and a Republican?

Hollywood won't work with a Republican.

Why will Congress never impeach Trump?

Republicans insist on carrying a baby to full term, even if it was a drastic accident.

The Republicans keep saying we need more Jesus in our country.

So why they want to build a wall to keep them all out?

I can't believe all of those women voted yes to pass Kavanaugh out of the Judiciary committee.

Well, I mean they voted no, but to Republicans that means yes.

Every wonder why Republicans use two hands when they're drinking out of a water bottle?

It's to prevent it from trickling down.

What's the difference between a gay person and a Republican?

The Republican gets butthurt when OTHER people receive s**...

If liberals are libtards...

Doesn't that make republicans just plain ole r**...?

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Trump just says it's fixed and the rest of them sit in the dark and applaud

A man gets sick and, fearing he might have Covid, goes to get tested

When the results of his test come back he gets called in and the person asks him, first, are you a Democrat or Republican?
The man says, what? What does that have to do with anything?
Well, if you're a Democrat you've got Covid. But if you're a Republican it's just a hoax.

Do you want to know why the republicans won't impeach Trump?

Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term.

How can a black man change a republican politician's views on abortion?

Get his wife pregnant

What do Joe Biden and trans people have in common?

Republicans want to block their transition

How many Republican does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Twelve to investigate Obama's involvement in the failure of the old bulb, 23 to deregulate the lightbulb industry and 51 to pass a tax credit for lightbulb changes.

Since the Democratic Party is led by Sleepy Joe Biden, today they announced that they'd be renaming themselves to the ZZZ Party...

... realizing that the Republican Party name no longer provides a strong enough contrast with their opponents, President Trump and Mitch McConnell declared that they will be changing their name to the Not ZZZ Party.

In the end, Trump cost Republicans the Presidency, the Senate, and the House

He actually did it.. he made America great again!

I was shocked when the Republicans wouldn't vote to convict Trump on his second impeachment.

The first time sure, they always insist a baby is carried to full term.
The second one however, shocking as they actually took care of the baby afterwards.

I was trying to think of past Republicans similar to Marjorie Taylor Greene

But they just Palin comparison.

A Republican and a Democrat found a magic lamp

The genie said "I will grant one wish per person". The Republican immediately jumped forward and said "I wish all Republicans and conservatives had their own planet, separate from all these libs." The genie nodded and the Republican vanished. The Democrat then asked "Are they all on their own planet?" "Yes" said the genie. "Are you sure? All of them?" The genie said "Yes" one more time. Then the Democrat said "I guess I'll just have a glass of water then."

You know what s**... the most about being a democrat in a republican household?

If you try to address the Elephants in the room, you end up making an a**... of yourself

I tried to apply for a medical exemption for the COVID vaccine.

Apparently being a republican isn't an acceptable medical condition.

An old Republican is on his death bed

\- I have a confession to make! I declare myself a Democrat now!
\- But... but... why? You hate democrats! You spent all your life fighting with them!
\- Because now one of them will die!

Republicans in Congress have proposed a bill to ban the sale of shredded cheese in supermarkets across the country

They want to Make America Grate Again.

Democrats are sexier than Republicans

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Is it true that Democrats are generally considered to be more attractive than Republicans?" he asks the bartender. "Well, have you every heard of a hot piece of elephant?" the bartender responds.

Republicans want small government

So small that it fits in your doctors office and your bedroom

The Democrats have a plan to make the Republicans sound s**....

Operation "Just Let Them Talk"

The Missouri state legislature is considering a ban on female legislators' clothing that leaves their arms exposed

I never thought I'd see a Republican state trying to overturn the right to bare arms
(Yes, this is actually happening)

Apparently the Republican party are considering banning coffee...

Part of their war on woke.

Republican joke, Apparently the Republican party are considering banning coffee...

jokes about republican

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these republican jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.