Republican Jokes

Funniest Republican Short Jokes

Short republican jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The republican humour may include short libertarian jokes also.

1. Why will the congress never impeach Trump? Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.
2. The problem with Trump jokes: Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.
3. What's the difference between Republicans and Ukrainians? Ukrainians defend their Capitol.
4. A Republican Senator and a Democratic Senator are drowning and you can only save one. Do you... A: Have lunch.
   B: Browse reddit.
5. Comey: He's guilty Democrats: He's guilty
   Trump: I'm guilty
   Republicans: We may never get to the bottom of this
6. How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? The lightbulb just burned out; this is not the time to discuss it.
7. According to my calculations, about 40% of Americans are Republicans But that's just a Conservative estimate
8. How are republicans and democrats like divorced parents? They care more about you hating the other person than they do about your well-being.
9. I'm dressing as the Republican healthcare bill for Halloween. I won't be leaving the house.
   (Heard this on the podcast Fake the Nation and thought you all would like it.)
10. Do you want to know why the republicans won't impeach Trump? Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term.

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Republican One Liners

Which republican one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with republican? I can suggest the ones about conservative and democrats.

1. Why can't republicans use hand sanitizer? Because the directions say to apply liberally
2. Why did Republicans get mad when Sting got a facelift? Because they hate Police reform.
3. How do you hide money from a Republican? Put it in a science textbook.
4. How can we get Republicans to care about climate change? Blame it on the poor.
5. Why do Republicans make good DJs? Because they know how to shut the House down.
6. Why do Republicans hate lotion? Because the directions say to apply it liberally.
7. I talked to my Republican parents about immigration. The conversation really went south.
8. I haven't seen the democrats this mad at republicans... ... Since they freed the slaves
9. TIL my mom isn't a member of any organized political party. You see, she's a Republican.
10. What do Republicans use for birth control? Their personality.
11. What is the favorite drink of the Republican Party? White Whine.
12. The republicans are right: It is a very dangerous precedent
13. Republicans: "We couldn't possibly lose Alabama!" Roy Moore: "hold my beer kids"
14. What do Republicans and Democrats have in common? Epsteins island.
15. Q: Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11? A: Elephants never forget.

Republican Democratic Jokes

Here is a list of funny republican democratic jokes and even better republican democratic puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What is the one thing that Democrats and Republicans can agree on? They should allow guns at the Republican convention
• Those "Run Hillary, Run!" bumper stickers are selling incredibly well Democrats put them on the back of their cars, Republicans put them on the front!
• What did one passive aggressive republican say to the passive aggressive democrat? I don't know, let me go check my Facebook feed.
• Finally, a fact both Democrats and Republicans can agree on! "Anyone with half a brain knows Trump won."
• I heard that Monica Lewinsky voted Republican this year. The Democrats left her with a bad taste in her mouth.
• What do condoms and taxes have in common? Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.
• A Democrat, a Republican and a guy with hemmerhoids walk into a bar... They're all butthurt.
• I try to reassure everyone I meet, Republican or Democrat alike - the cost of replacing Trump is actually not that high. It is only 1 Pence.
• Looks like the Democrats were holding strong in the Midwest until the republicans got off work.
• My grandmother voted Republican until the day she died. Ever since then, she's voted Democrat.

Democrat Republican Jokes

Here is a list of funny democrat republican jokes and even better democrat republican puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the biggest difference between Republicans and Democrats? Republicans sign their checks on the front, and democrats sign on the back.
• Kid Rock announced he won't be running for the Republican Michigan Senate nomination . This come as a great relief to Democratic challenger Kid Scissors.
• Republicans and Democrats never agree on anything Republicans said the temperature is -40° F
  And democrats immediately said it was -40° C.
• A blind answer poll was made to dads everywhere, whether they liked Republicans or Democrats. The only answer they got back was "Yes."
• OVERHEARD: "My father was a Republican until the day he died.. Then he became a Democrat."
• Before the shooting the worst problem at the congressional baseball game was... Republicans don't want to play left field.
  Democrats don't want to play right.
  Nobody wants to play center.
• A Republican, a Democrat, and a Socialist live in the same building. One day there is a fire, but only the Socialist dies. Why? everyone else was at work.
• The only reason the Democrats haven't risen up and overthrown the government The Republicans are the ones with the guns.
• What's the difference between democrats and republicans in America? One group wants to abolish ICE, the other wants to abolish ice.
• Why were Democrats in the lead early on? Republicans weren't off of work yet.

Republican Party Jokes

Here is a list of funny republican party jokes and even better republican party puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Apparently the Republican party are considering banning coffee... Part of their war on woke.
• I hear Harvey Weinstein's call sheet has been blowing up lately. Apparently the Republican Party wants him to run for President.
• I clicked "Submit a Joke" before thinking of what I'd say Now I know how the Republican party feels.
• I didn't know which political party to join so I looked up Republican convictions. Turns out they've had 91 since 1970.
• Today, what does the republican party and dead fish have in common? Red tide
• What's the Republican Party's favorite Halloween costume? A ghost! They like it so much they wear it year round.
• Why was the Republican's birthday so much fun? Because it was a white elephant party.
• What would you need to silence the entire Republican Party? An Elizabeth Warrant
• I think the republican party is correct on a few key issues like...

Republican Candidate Jokes

Here is a list of funny republican candidate jokes and even better republican candidate puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• If a Republican candidate who is hated by the GOP establishment and loathed by half the country just won the election... ...maybe Hillary should consider running as a Republican!
• Why are they called jokes? Because calling them republican presidential candidates would make me cry.
• How many Republican candidates does it take to lose a Senate race in Alabama? One Moore.
• Why Gopal from India always votes for the Republican candidate? Because he is GOP pal!

The Funniest Republican Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about republican you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean liberal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make republican pranks.