The Best 79 Republic Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Republic jokes. There are some republic democracy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these republic nations puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Republic Jokes and Puns

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They're afraid of change- even if it makes the world a brighter place.

(

Republicans are the true snowflakes...

they're white, they're cold, and if you put enough of em together they'll shut down public schools

EDIT* Thanks for the gold! You popped my gold cherry!

its a joke folks. just a joke.

A tourist is eaten by a python at the zoo.

Two tourists from the Czech republic are visiting New York. At the zoo, one leans forward, trying to get real close to the pythons. He falls down into the enclosure and is quickly swallowed whole.

Panicking, the other guy runs up to a caretaker and cries out for help. The caretaker asks him: "Which of these pythons ate your friend, the male or the female one?"

"That one! That one!", exclaims the Czech, pointing at the male snake, bloated with its stomach full. The caretaker runs up behind the satiated snake, cuts it open and pulls out ... a feeder pig.

"Oh no, it must have been the other one", yells the tourist. So the keeper cuts open the female snake, and sure enough, out comes the tourist.

In the end, the tourist could be revived, and miraculously, both snakes managed to live through the events, but there's still a lesson to be learned here: Never trust someone who tells you the Czech is in the male.

Republic joke, A tourist is eaten by a python at the zoo.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They only screw the poor.

Why did the Republican get a sunburn?

Because the sunscreen instructed to apply liberally and he was unwilling to compromise.


Just made this one up...

My uncle recently ordered a mail order bride from the Czech Republic. The Czech is in the mail.

~I'll let myself out...

Why do Republicans use rulers?

They want everything to be straight.

Republic joke, Why do Republicans use rulers?

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one really, but be prepared to spend about $8 million USD in "Campaign Donations" if you ever want one to care about somebody else's problem

A republican, a feminist, and an atheist walk into a bar...

I know because they told everybody within 2 minutes of walking in

What do you call traffic in The Czech Republic?

Praguetory

What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards?

A Czech Republic

You can explore republic indigenous reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean republic empire dad jokes. There are also republic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do Republicans make good DJs?

Because they know how to shut the House down.

Why do Republicans hate lotion?

Because the directions say to apply it liberally.

Why are Republicans so easy to point out?

They're usually the elephant in the room

The Republicans asked the Democrats what it would take

to stop being considered stupid. The democrats said "Just put forth one presidential candidate who can make a brain surgeon look like an idiot."

Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?

[THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER].

Republic joke, Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?

Republicans run for office by saying the government doesn't work...

Then they get elected and prove it.

The Republican primary race should be called "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"

It's way too long, and the protagonists are becoming more juvenile as it goes on.

How do Republican politicians please their wives?

By getting a big donor.


Why did the Weimar Republic ban balloons?

Because of the Hyperinflation.

How does an Australian call his friend from the Czech Republic?

Czechmate

Q: Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11?

A: Elephants never forget.

Did you guys hear about the new death camps in North Korea?

No you didn't. You haven't heard anything. Long Live the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

Republicans were just informed about the effects of Global Warming on the polar ice caps

They're losing their cool!

There is this guy from the Czech Republic that plays chess with his Austrian friend.

Czech mate.

Why do the republicans defend the 2nd amendment so hard?

They need it to shoot themselves in the foot.

What's a Republican Congressman's favorite movie?

Kill Bill

If a Republican candidate who is hated by the GOP establishment and loathed by half the country just won the election...

...maybe Hillary should consider running as a Republican!

What's the most popular kind of music in the Czech Republic?

Prague Rock

What do Republicans use for birth control?

Their personality.

I ordered a mail-order bride from the Czech Republic

Czech mate

Why do Republicans push abstinence?

They don't want to be the only ones not getting action!

How many republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Still waiting to see. After 7 years, they're still not sure how to replace it.

How can we get Republicans to care about climate change?

Blame it on the poor.

Republicans might be worried that the "repeal and replace" failed...

But it's okay; burns are covered by the Affordable Care Act.

Why do Republicans hate sick eagles?

Because they're illegals

How many Republicans does it take to change a light-bulb?

None.

Trump lies, tells them it was changed and they sit in the dark.

If Britain has Brexit...

Did the Czech Republic check-out?

Have you heard about how much meat pastries cost in Antigua, Barbados, Colombia, Dominican Republic, Haiti, Honduras, Jamaica, Aruba, Trinidad and Tobago, The Bahamas, Turks and Caicos Islands?

You should have done, they are the pie rates of the Caribbean

What's a bankers Favorite place to go on vacation?

The Czech Republic

Why did the Republican hate his logic course?

Because Philosophy is considered a *liberal* art

What does an 80 year old man and the Catalan republic have in common?

They both only last around 8 seconds

A Slovak oligarch, Japanese nationalist, communist and a pirate meet in a parliament...

This isn't a joke. It's Czech Republic.

What do you call a nomadic democracy?

A Roman Republic

Trump, Merkel and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS:

Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.

Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.

Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are about to cross the border into the People's Democratic Republic of Korea. Welcome!"

The terrorists screamed and turned to run away.

Why are republicans pro-life?

Can't molest what isn't born!

Republicans: "We couldn't possibly lose Alabama!"

Roy Moore: "hold my beer kids"

How many Republican candidates does it take to lose a Senate race in Alabama?

One Moore.

Republican healthcare:

Pay an extra $5.99/month to use Google to search for the symptoms you have that you can't afford to have treated.

Germany and the Czech Republic have left the EU to form their own fully integrated economy.

Their currency is called the βœ“

Which country's people are least likely to use cash?

The Czech Republic.

How come Republicans don't like math?

because they don't want to see integration in school

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb just burned out; this is not the time to discuss it.

A Republican and a scientist were together during the last moments of the Titanic...

The scientist said "In a hundred years that giant iceberg would melt and contribute in the rising of the sea level."

Then the Republican said "If we're sinking, why are we a hundred feet up in the air?"

Which country has the most douchebags?

The Republic of Chad

They say that Republicans no longer embody the Christian values they preach...

That's a little unfair if you ask me. They follow the golden rule perfectly. Whoever has the gold, rules.

What do you call an abortion in the Czech Republic?

A cancelled Czech

In the 2001 film "The Planet of the Apes" David Warner plays a primate named Senator Sandar

which means the whole planet is probably a Banana Republic

The Republicans keep saying we need more Jesus in our country.

So why they want to build a wall to keep them all out?

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they prefer to sit in the dark and blame liberals.

I have a couple of friends from Czech Republic who are sound technicians

Czech one. Czech two

The U.S is so hypocritical

Claims to be a republic, yet uses the imperial system...

Every wonder why Republicans use two hands when they're drinking out of a water bottle?

It's to prevent it from trickling down.

Republicans and Democrats never agree on anything

Republicans said the temperature is -40Β° F
And democrats immediately said it was -40Β° C.

Bohemia just announced its plans to secede from the Czech Republic.

Is this the real life?

What do you get when you mix a Republic and a Truck

A Semi-Democracy

What's the difference between a banana republic and USA?

The USA is a banana hegemony.

A Republican walks up to a Democratic with a face mask and say, do you know what I say to sheep like you?...

Whatever the Republican Party tells me too say.

What country does not accept cash or credit cards?

The Czech Republic

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Trump just says it's fixed and the rest of them sit in the dark and applaud

Say what you like about China...

[This post has been removed by the Communist Party of ChinaΒ (CPC) of the People's Republic of China at the discretion of General Xi Jinping]

Do you want to know why the republicans won't impeach Trump?

Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term.

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

...

Change? That's socialism.

What do Republicans and Democrats have in common?

Epsteins island.

How are republicans and democrats like divorced parents?

They care more about you hating the other person than they do about your well-being.

How many Republican does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Twelve to investigate Obama's involvement in the failure of the old bulb, 23 to deregulate the lightbulb industry and 51 to pass a tax credit for lightbulb changes.

The republicans are right: It is a very dangerous precedent

An apple pie costs $2.50 in Jamaica.

The same apple pie costs $3.00 in the Dominican Republic.

These are the pie rates of the Carribean.

In a banana republic

the traffic lights go from green to yellow to brown.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the republic belarus jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working republic usa piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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