Reptile Jokes

Following is our collection of caiman humor and turdle one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Reptile puns for adults, dirty mariguana jokes or clean herp gags for kids.

There is an abundance of croc jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 84 funniest jokes on reptile. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any investi witze you can hear about reptile.

The Best jokes about Reptile

What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore?

A reptile dysfunction.

What is a chameleon that cannot change color?

A reptile dysfunction

Hey did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color?

It had a reptile dysfunction

My pet snake just lays around and won't move

I think he's suffering from a reptile dysfunction

Why can't some snakes get boners?

Because they have a reptile dysfunction.


Did you hear about the alligator who couldn't get a hard-on?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

My little brother is extremely proud of this joke. What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

What do you call a limp snake?

A reptile dysfunction.

What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colors?

reptile disfunction

My 12 yr old nephew: What do you call a reptile that always starts drama?

An instigator!

Why was the lizard upset with her husband?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction. ...

Okay bye now


Did you hear about the old chameleon who can't change color anymore?

He has reptile disfunction

What do you call an impotent lizard?

A reptile dysfunction

What do you call it when a Dinosaur can't perform in bed?

A reptile dysfunction.




Thank high me for that one.

What do you call a floppy snake?

Reptile dysfunction.

What is it called when an alligator can't get an erection?

A reptile dysfunction

How do you call it when a turtle doesn't do what he's supposed to do?

Uh, reptile dysfunction.

How did dinosaurs decorate their bedroom?

With rep-tiles!

What do you say to a man with a broken lizard?

Sorry about your reptile dysfunction.


What do you call it when a lizard can't get it up?

A reptile dysfunction

What do you call a lizard who can't easily have sex?

A reptile dysfunction

What do you call it when a snake can't have sex?

A reptile dysfunction.

What do you call a broken snake?

A reptile dysfunction.

What do you call it when a lizard has problems in the bedroom?

A reptile dysfunction

My lizards won't mate...

Must be a reptile dysfunction.

What's it called when a reptile forgets how to change colors?

A reptile dysfunction.

I love talking to kids

Adults never ask me what my 3rd favorite reptile is.

Why was the female crocodile disappointed in her mate?

He had a reptile dysfunction

I was reading an article that said alligators aren't mating this summer

Scientists blamed it on reptile dysfunction

What do you call a reptile wearing a hoodie and holding a knife?

An alleygator.

Did you hear about the iguana that couldn't mate in captivity?

He had a reptile disfunction.

Why couldn't the snake charmer charm his snake?

He had a reptile dysfunction

What's wrong with a chameleon that can't change colors?

He has a reptile dysfunction.

Did you hear about the crocodile who couldn't get it up?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call a reptile lawyer who lives in the swamp?

Alitigator.

Why do reptiles have so many scales?

Because they're paranoid about their weight.

How does a reptile climb a mountain?

It scales it

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

Why can't the snake have sex?

He has reptile disfunction.

Man to Lizard: "So I hear you are in flooring sales"

Lizard: I am more in promotion

Man: What do you do?

Lizard: I rep-tile.

I met a lizard who couldn't get it up in bed.

Turned out he had a reptile dysfunction.

Why couldn't the lizard have any children?

It had a reptile dysfunction!

In a recent interview, Mark Zuckerburg's wife stated she wasn't bothered at all about being married to a lizard person.

But rather, she only took issue when Mark would drink heavily and behave erratically, calling it a reptile dysfunction.

I saw a lizard with two tails

It was a case of reptile dysfunction

Is your lizard not working?

You may have a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call a lizard that has trouble having sex?

A reptile dysfunction.

What happened to the pet owner who lost his lizard?

He had a reptile dysfunction

What type of weed does a reptile smoke?

Mariiguana

Have you guys heard about the cobra who couldn't raise its head off the ground?

He had reptile dysfunction.

This weekend we saw a crocodile that had trouble swimming,

Does anyone know where we can find medication for a reptile dysfunction?

Why did the iguana go to the doctor?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call a lizard that doesn't work?

A reptile dysfunction.

What does a chameleon that can't change color suffer from?

Reptile disfunction

Why couldn't the lizard be aroused?

He had a reptile dysfunction


(I just made that up but I'm sure it's been thought of)

What's the most observant reptile?

An investi-gator

Why did the T-Rex go extinct?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

My pet gecko wouldn't move

Vet says he has 'a reptile dysfunction'

There was a lizard that lived in my back yard who lost his tail. After weeks of observation, the tail just wouldn't grow back.

I'm not sure what the science is behind this, but I'm sure it was just a reptile dysfunction.

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction!

What do you call an aquatic reptile that solves crimes?

An investi-gator.

Paleontologists have determined that there once was a genetic mutation millions of years ago that resulted in the creation of a five-legged dinosaur.

As far as we know, this is the first evidence ever seen of a reptile dysfunction.

I'm starting a YouTube channel about my fixation with lizards and snakes. What am I going to call it?

A Reptile Dysfunction

Why was the snake soft?

He had reptile dysfunction.

Why did the snakes get divorced?

Because of a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call a reptile detective ?

An investigator

Sorry

Did you hear about the iguana who couldn't reproduce?

Turns out he was having a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call a reptile with a belly button and a good sense of direction?

A navelgator

Thank you, thank you! I'm here all week!

What do you call it when an iguana gets too old and can't stand up on its own any more?

A reptile disfunction.

My lizard shrunk

It was a reptile dysfunction

What do you call a reptile that starts fights over social media?

An InstaGator

What do you call a flaccid snake?

A reptile distinction.

My friend has this really weird obsession with snakes, it's not right....

i think he has A Reptile Dysfunction

What do you call a reptile that's good with directions?

A Navigator

A crocodile tried to have sex but couldn't...

He had a reptile dysfunction

My pet iguana has been really lethargic recently...

He's been laying around a lot, and has trouble getting up. I took him to the vet, and he was diagnosed with a reptile dysfunction.

Why was the herpetologist bad in bed?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call a homosexual reptile?

Alligaaaaaaytor

Why did the Iguanas break Up?

A reptile dysfunction

Why did the lizards get a divorce?

A reptile dysfunction

What do you call it when someone exhibits lizard-like tendencies?

A reptile dysfunction.

What do you call a reptile that knows it's way around?

A Navigator

What do Reptiles love to smoke?

Mariguana

What does a reptile with a problem have?

A-reptile dysfunction.

What did the lizard get at home depot?

Reptile.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes