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Reptile Jokes

116 reptile jokes and hilarious reptile puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about reptile that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh it up with this collection of hilarious reptile jokes that will have you in stitches! Whether you're looking for some cheesy reptile puns or a hilarious snake joke, this article has it all. From stories about an investigator who didn't believe in the existence of caimans, to quick one-liners about lizards, you'll be sure to find something to chuckle about!

Funniest Reptile Short Jokes

Short reptile jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reptile humour may include short lizard jokes also.

  1. Hey did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color? It had a reptile dysfunction
  2. My pet snake just lays around and won't move I think he's suffering from a reptile dysfunction
  3. Did you hear about the alligator who couldn't get a hard-on? He had a reptile dysfunction.
  4. My little brother is extremely proud of this joke. What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights? An Insti-Gator
  5. Why was the lizard upset with her husband? Because he had a reptile dysfunction. ...
    Okay bye now
  6. Did you hear about the old chameleon who can't change color anymore? He has reptile disfunction
  7. What do you call it when a Dinosaur can't perform in bed? A reptile dysfunction.
    Thank high me for that one.
  8. Did you know most reptiles can tell exactly what you weigh just by looking at you? They have built in scales
  9. Why as it important for Ted Cruz to be in Cancun while Texas is freezing? Reptiles require sunlight.
  10. How do you call it when a turtle doesn't do what he's supposed to do? Uh, reptile dysfunction.

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Reptile One Liners

Which reptile one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reptile? I can suggest the ones about dinosaur and crocodile.

  1. What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore? A reptile dysfunction.
  2. What is a chameleon that cannot change color? A reptile dysfunction
  3. What is it called when a chameleon can no longer change colors? A reptile dysfunction.
  4. What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colours anymore? A reptile dysfunction
  5. What do you call a limp snake? A reptile dysfunction.
  6. What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colors? reptile disfunction
  7. My 12 yr old nephew: What do you call a reptile that always starts drama? An instigator!
  8. Why did the female crocodile leave her husband? He had a reptile dysfunction.
  9. What do you call an impotent lizard? A reptile dysfunction
  10. What do you call a floppy snake? Reptile dysfunction.
  11. Some lizards are unable to reproduce It's called a reptile dysfunction
  12. How did dinosaurs decorate their bedroom? With rep-tiles!
  13. What do you call it when a lizard can't get it up? A reptile dysfunction
  14. What do you say to a man with a broken lizard? Sorry about your reptile dysfunction.
  15. What do you call a chameleon that can no longer change colors? A reptile dysfunction

Reptile joke, What do you call a chameleon that can no longer change colors?

Reptile Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about reptile you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tortoise jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make reptile pranks.

Why was the snake soft?

He had reptile dysfunction.

What do you call it when a lizard has problems in the bedroom?

A reptile dysfunction

Man to Lizard: "So I hear you are in flooring sales"

Lizard: I am more in promotion
Man: What do you do?
Lizard: I rep-tile.

My lizards won't mate...

Must be a reptile dysfunction.

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction!

Why did the T-Rex go extinct?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

Why couldn't the lizard be a**...?

He had a reptile dysfunction
(I just made that up but I'm sure it's been thought of)

Did you hear about the iguana that couldn't mate in captivity?

He had a reptile disfunction.

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

Why couldn't the lizard have any children?

It had a reptile dysfunction!

What do you call a lizard who can't easily have s**...?

A reptile dysfunction

Why couldn't the snake charmer charm his snake?

He had a reptile dysfunction

Is your lizard not working?

You may have a reptile dysfunction.

What type of w**... does a reptile smoke?

Mariiguana

What's wrong with a chameleon that can't change colors?

He has a reptile dysfunction.

What does a chameleon that can't change color suffer from?

Reptile disfunction

What do you call a lizard that doesn't work?

A reptile dysfunction.

What do you call a broken snake?

A reptile dysfunction.

Why can't some snakes get b**...?

Because they have a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call a reptile detective ?

An investigator
Sorry

I met a lizard who couldn't get it up in bed.

Turned out he had a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call a lizard that has trouble having s**...?

A reptile dysfunction.

How does a reptile climb a mountain?

It scales it

What do you call a reptile wearing a hoodie and holding a knife?

An alleygator.

Why can't the snake have s**...?

He has reptile disfunction.

What do you call a homosexual reptile?

Alligaaaaaaytor

What is it called when an alligator can't get an e**...?

A reptile dysfunction

Why did the snakes get divorced?

Because of a reptile dysfunction.

Did you hear about the crocodile who couldn't get it up?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

I was reading an article that said alligators aren't mating this summer

Scientists blamed it on reptile dysfunction

What do you call a reptile with a belly button and a good sense of direction?

A navelgator
Thank you, thank you! I'm here all week!

I love talking to kids

Adults never ask me what my 3rd favorite reptile is.

I saw a lizard with two tails

It was a case of reptile dysfunction

Paleontologists have determined that there once was a genetic mutation millions of years ago that resulted in the creation of a five-legged dinosaur.

As far as we know, this is the first evidence ever seen of a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call it when an iguana gets too old and can't stand up on its own any more?

A reptile disfunction.

I'm starting a YouTube channel about my fixation with lizards and snakes. What am I going to call it?

A Reptile Dysfunction

What do you call a flaccid snake?

A reptile distinction.

Why do reptiles have so many scales?

Because they're paranoid about their weight.

This weekend we saw a crocodile that had trouble swimming,

Does anyone know where we can find medication for a reptile dysfunction?

My pet gecko wouldn't move

Vet says he has 'a reptile dysfunction'

Why did the iguana go to the doctor?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

There was a lizard that lived in my back yard who lost his tail. After weeks of observation, the tail just wouldn't grow back.

I'm not sure what the science is behind this, but I'm sure it was just a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call it when a snake can't have s**...?

A reptile dysfunction.

Why was the female crocodile disappointed in her mate?

He had a reptile dysfunction

In a recent interview, Mark Zuckerburg's wife stated she wasn't bothered at all about being married to a lizard person.

But rather, she only took issue when Mark would drink heavily and behave erratically, calling it a reptile dysfunction.

What's it called when a reptile forgets how to change colors?

A reptile dysfunction.

What's the most observant reptile?

An investi-gator

What do you call a reptile lawyer who lives in the swamp?

Alitigator.

What happened to the pet owner who lost his lizard?

He had a reptile dysfunction

Have you guys heard about the cobra who couldn't raise its head off the ground?

He had reptile dysfunction.

Did you hear about the iguana who couldn't reproduce?

Turns out he was having a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call an aquatic reptile that solves crimes?

An investi-gator.

What do you call a reptile shaped p**...?

A turdle

If a chameleon can't change color

Does that mean it has reptile dysfunction?

Can I have Reptile Assitance?

A: what?
B: you know, reptile assistance.
A: what are you talking about?
B: Reptile assistance. you know, crocodile help
A: WHAT!?
B:...
A:...
B: can I have a Gatorade?
A: \*flips table\*

What do you call a large reptile who's great with directions?

A good navi-gator.

What's it called when a lizard can't have s**...?

A reptile dysfunction

Q: why are reptiles so good at playing the piano??

A: because they really know their scales!!

What do you call a reptile that sits between two buildings?

An Alleygator

What do you call it when a group of turtles just won't get along?

Reptile disfunction.

What do you call a large reptile that shows up out of nowhere to start a fight?

An insta-gator!

Reptile joke, What do you call a large reptile that shows up out of nowhere to start a fight?

jokes about reptile