Reposted Jokes
78 reposted jokes and hilarious reposted puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about reposted that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Reposted Short Jokes
Short reposted jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reposted humour may include short riposte jokes also.
- Where do little jokes come from? Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.
- My annual cake day joke repost - how can you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist? Ask them to pronounce unionized
- Is this the right sub? Need help repairing my fence. It seems everyone knows how to repost here.
- What is matthew mcconaughey' least favorite part of interstellar? "The girls get older, but he stays the same age"
-first attempt at a original joke (apologies if its a repost that I'm unaware of) - Yesterday I accidentally sent a n**... picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamp.
- How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists? Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.
- I'm having some real trouble mending my broken fence. Can anyone here give me some tips?
I was told you guys are the best at reposting. - If I had a dollar for every time I saw that rabbit typo joke reposted here I'd be a millionhare
- Today I was helping a friend install his fence, but I put in one of the stakes upside down so we had to do it over. Sorry for the repost.
- The new Call of Duty just got released in Iraq They call it the Sims
Note: this technically a repost
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Reposted One Liners
Which reposted one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reposted? I can suggest the ones about unfunny and post.
- Reposting this one because it didn't get enough upvotes last time. 1
- Roses are red, reposting is lame, [this post was removed due to a copyright claim.]
- What do you get when you eat 3.14 slice of cake? Diabetes.
- What do you call when you cross a detective with an electrician Sherlock Ohms
- Why are there two "d"s in Reddit? The second one's a repost.
- What's the difference between a joke and a repost??? ...about two hours.
- What does Vlad the Impaler do when he runs out of victims? Repost.
- What's the difference between an octopus and a squid? A squid has TEN-TICKLES!
- Okay guys, that's enough Russian reposts today. I'm sick of Putin up with it.
- Roses are red, reposting is lame, But not every joke here is always the same.
- The F in orphans stands for family If ykyk (I'll remove if it's a repost)
- I have a spreadsheet of all the Abe Lincoln reposts. I call them my Lincoln logs.
- Scrolling this sub is like fixing a fence that's fallen. Repost. Repost. Repost.
- Why do environmentalists love this sub? Reword, Repost, Recycle!
- Yo mama so old, She remembers the first repost.
Laughable Reposted Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about reposted you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tweet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make reposted pranks.
A man's fence is broken and he neess to hire someone to fix it
So he goes online to find someone to fix his fence for him but he is unsatisfied with their prices, that is until he finds a Buddhist monk who will do it for free.
He is initially surprised by this and assumes it might be a fake listing, but since it's free he feels like he has nothing to lose so he hires him.
Sure enough a few days later the monk shows up with a toolkit in hand, the man shows the monk that his fence has been ripped out of the ground and that he needs to replace it.
About an hour later the monk walks in and tells the man he is finished, and when the man goes outside he sees that the fence is perfect, thinking he can't just tell the monk to leave after doing such a great job for free he invites the monk inside for a cup of coffee.
The man then starts talking to the monk, "It surprised me to see a monk offering services for fence repair, why do you do it?" he asked
the monk replied "Religious reasons."
The man then says "I don't know much about Buddhism, why do you need to repair fences?"
"Because" the monk replied, "You would be surprised at the amount of karma you get for reposting."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So there's a little guy sitting at a bar....(heard this years ago, hope it isn't a repost)
...when a much larger, muscular guy walks in who seems to have a chip on his shoulder. The big guy sits down next to the little guy and orders a beer, after a bit the big guy jumps up and completely out of nowhere punches the little guy, knocking him to the floor. "That's boxing, from Las Vegas."
The little guy picks himself up off the floor, dusts himself off, gets back on his stool and just quietly goes back to his drink. The big guy also sits back down, but after a few minutes he gets back up and kicks the little guy who slides all the way to the end of the bar. "That's karate, from Japan."
Again, the little fellow just quietly gets up, goes back to his seat, and resumes drinking. A few more minutes go by and the big fella gets up a third time, grabs the little dude, and throws him right into the door of the bar. "That's kung fu, from China."
This time, however, the little guy gets up and just walks out. After some time he walks back in, right up behind the big guy, and cracks him over the head, laying him unconscious in the floor. The little guy looks at the bartender and says "You tell that s**... when he wakes up that that was crowbar, from Sears and Roebuck."
Tiger Woods playing golf.
Sorry if this is a repost, but I found this one quite funny.
Tiger Woods is practicing golf one day, surrounded by fans and media. While he's practicing, an amateur
golfer confidently walks up to him and challenges him to a match. Tiger knew he'd win, so he agrees thinking that it would be a fun break from serious practice. "OK," the amateur says, "Since I'm an amateur and you're a pro, you'll have to allow me two gotchas". Tiger didn't know what a gotchas is, but he didn't ask because he thought he'd win regardless of what handicap is placed on him. The fans and media leave the two alone so they can play in peace.
A few hours later, the two come out of the golf course and it turns out that Tiger Woods lost. The fans and media surrounded him wanting to know what happened. Tiger says, "I was starting the first hole, concentrating to tee off, you know, deep in thought. Right when I was about to drive the ball, he ran up from behind, grabbed my nuts and squeezed them tight while loudly screaming 'GOTCHA!!' can you imagine me trying to play eighteen holes waiting for the next gotcha?"
Re-post but one of my all time favorites (somewhat altered)
One day a father and his two daughters, Petal and Fridge, were having a picnic. Petal curiously asks her father; "Daddy, why is my name Petal?" to which he replies; "Well honey on the day you were born a petal from a beautiful flower slowly fell through the air and landed right on your forehead. Your mother and I thought the name fit you perfectly." Then Fridge asks; "BRAW WAW AAWWW OOWWW AHH AAWA?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A New Study Conducted on Asians (A joke I came up with,but still not sure if a repost)
A new study conducted on Asians shows that the long held to be true stereotype is partially false. In fact, only 50% of Asians have small p**....
The other 50% are women.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young couple is out carousing one evening...(could be repost)
While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you t**... clothes?" She agrees and he begins to speed up.
When the spedometer hits 100 she starts to s**.... When she gets all her clothes off he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car. The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. "Go get help," he pleads.
She replies, "I can't, I'm n**...."
He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says "Cover yourself with that and go get help." She takes the shoe, covers herself, and runs to the gas station down the road.
When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, "Help! Help! My boyfriend's stuck!"
The attendant looks down at the shoe covering her c**... and replies, "I'm sorry Miss. He's too far in."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know your life s**......
when your job s**..., your car s**..., your house s**..., but your wife doesn't.
- Sorry if it's a repost.
My car started making this whining noise...
So I took it to the shop and had the mechanic look over it. Turns out all he had to do was take the Taylor Swift album out.
Sorry if this was a repost, I took a quick browse and didn't see it anywhere.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three guys are talking about their families (likely a re-post)
Three men - Bob, Joe, and David - are bragging about their families. Bob and Joe are Catholic, and David is m**....
Joe says "I've got four athletic daughters. One more and I'll have a championship basketball team."
Bob responds "I've got eight athletic sons. One more and I'll have an all-Anerican baseball team."
David answers "I've got five beautiful wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hope it's not a repost, heard this on the radio today...
Cheech and Chong are partying down in Tijuana, when they spot a dog up the road a ways.
Looking closer, they see the dog is frolicking about in the intersection, having a great time l**... himself.
Cheech exclaims, "Man! I wish I could do that!"
Chong replies, "well... maybe you should try to pet him first, man."
A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help
He heard we have a lot of experts in re-posting
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the paperboy who m**... on the job?
It was all over the news!
(Can't remember where I heard this, so sorry if its a repost)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Met a h**... who said she'd do anything for $5
So I had her repost a joke for me that's been posted 5,000 times in the past week
If Hillary wins I'm leaving the country if trump wins I'm leaving the country.
Not a political repost I'm just getting deported
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a v**....
Repost.
The amount of new jokes on this sub is ridiculous today.
Just wait 4 years and they will all be reposted.
Scientists have deciphered hieroglyphics thought to be 5,500 years old. The first full sentence says
"This is a repost."
I was going to repost this really condescending joke I read, but...
you guys didn't get it last time, and probably wont get it this time either.
A woman gives birth to a bouncing baby boy...
(Sorry if repost, I did a search)
A woman gives birth to a bouncing baby boy and the doctor hands him to her, remarking, "That's a cute baby!"
Mom says, "Oh I bet you say that about every baby you deliver."
Doctor says, "No no, only when they're really cute."
"What do you say when they're ugly?"
"He looks just like his mother!"
It seems highly unlikely that the Romans would have built a new cross for every execution, which means...
Jesus was a repost.
Did you know there's an Alzhimers epidemic?
I noticed it when I saw how many reposts make it to the front page.
A Bee on a Fly
(Disclaimer) this is a repost from something I saw a long time ago, so if someone could get a source that'd be very cool
A bee is riding on the back of a fly. The fly turns around, and asks, hey, are you a bee?
In which the bee replies, I might bee.
The fly then says, dude, that's the worst pun I have ever heard.
The bee responds, I know man, I made it up on the fly.
What do you call a green bat that walks across a yellow bridge?
I don't know, but at least it isn't a repost
If I had $1 for every repost in this sub...
I'd have the same dollar given to me over and over again.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I heard you like reposts, so here's one from 114 years ago.
**TOWN AND COUNTRY**
The young woman who was boarding at the farmhouse expressed to the farmer her anxiety at the savage way in which the cow regarded her.
It must be on account of that red blouse you've got on, miss, answered the farmer.
Dear me! exclaimed the girl. Of course, it's out of fashion; but I had no idea a country cow would notice it.
(From the London Journal, July 2nd, 1904)
A lot of people complain about reposts, but I ran the numbers and only about 0.2% of people actually repost jokes here
Earth has ~7 and a half billion people; this sub only has ~14 million
We all complain about reposts, but do you know where new jokes come from?
A dad joke meets a yo mama joke... and then they screw in a lightbulb.
A young girl accepts a dare, and wins a dollar
she tells her mom about it, saying how the boys dared her to climb a post.
"Silly girl, that's so they could look up your skirt."
So the next day, the girl comes back and says "They tried to make me climb that post again, but I outsmarted them this time!"
"Really? What did you do?"
"I told them 'I'm not going to be fooled into reposting!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap?
"Because this s**... parrot keeps reposting c**... jokes" said the pet store employee.
My dad is like the reposts on this sub.
I see him on a regular basis and he stopped being funny a long time ago.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy visits his favorite d**...
He puts his money on the bedside table and says I've been bad, mistress. I need to be punished.
She makes him s**... and bend over as she whips his quivering bottom.
Next she makes him crawl into bed and ties him securely to the bedposts.
She runs her whip over his flesh and, as he wriggles in anticipation, the bed posts break and his arms come free.
Don't worry, I can fix this he says, as he runs out to his car. He returns in a few minutes with some tools and gets to work.
In a few minutes the bedposts are fixed.
He looks admiringly at his handiwork and beams.
Good as new, mistress!
She says This sub really loves reposts.
A teenager, who just turned 18, desperately wants a car.
His mother tells him to buy one himself. A chemistry student himself, he finds an effective money-making strategy. Every day, he would sell mixtures of Rhenium, Phosphorus, Osmium, and Tennessine, and he was earning a lot from the sales. Curious, his mother asks him about the mixtures.
The teen replied: RePOsTs are the fastest way to car, Ma.
In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:
A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.
The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.
A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.
The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?"
"It's hard to say."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian dude enters a bar wearing a tshirt saying, "Turks got 3 problems."
Obvious repost
As soon as he enters the bar a bunch of Turks stop him.
Turks: you come in our country and have the b**... to insult us.
Russian : that's your first problem. you guys gets offended so easily.
Turks: Let's get him outside.
Russian: that's your second problem. you wanna solve everything with violence.
*They gets outside of the bar and Turks starts taking their knives out*
Russian: that's your third problem. you bring knives to a gunfight.
Teach a man how to joke and he'll get 6 upvotes
Teach a man how to repost, and watch him get loads of awards
A moderator of this sub is my neighbor in real life, and is demanding that my fence be removed
...just because I re-posted it.
Teach a man a joke, and he will laugh for a day.
Teach a redditor a joke, and they will repost it for a lifetime.
It's cake and y'all know the rules!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe.
Not even remotely.
(I stole this joke from fb and it made my drunk a**... laugh out loud so I wanted to share but I'm sorry if it's a repost)
Pierre Curie walks into his lab and says to his wife: "Marie, everyday you look more radiant."
[could be a repost]
Please don't post any more school shooting jokes, consider them rule 10 - overly offensive.
Let's give each other time to heal and get back to the reposts we all know and love (just kidding) - but enough is enough of these.
How many reposters does it take to change a lightbulb?
It's hard to tell because they just keep putting the same bulb in over and over.
50 Jokes for 50 US States Part II
# Alaska
An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked, 'Where were you on the night of October to April?'
Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous variations out there. So just wanted to let you know that I read it on Reader's Digest Issue 1/09, finding it funny, I wanted to share with the jokers here.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the best part about having Alzheimer's?
You get to laugh at all the reposts on here everytime.
I like my jokes like I like my broken mailboxes.
Promptly reposted and hopefully nobody notices.
It's tough finding journalists qualified to report on rhythm sections
They need to cover all the basses and can't miss a beat.
I'm reposting this joke until somebody finds it funny beside me.
I really dislike people that never repost…
They just can't take a joke.
A man decided to sail his boat from England to Russia
He starts his journey and everything is going great. That is, until he's passing Germany's northern coast. His ship begins taking on water and, in a panic, he radios the German Coast Guard.
"Help!" He says through the radio.
"Vat is it?" The German Coast Guard replies.
"I'm sinking!" The man says back.
The radio goes silent for a moment before the Coast Guard replies,
"Vell, vat are you sinking about?"
There's no way this isn't a repost but I just get cracked up every time I think of it.
How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?
At least fifteen: One to change the bulb, and three committees to approve the change and to decide who is bringing the potato salad.
>!Dearest Moderators, the title may be a repost but the joke is not, I checked!!<
