Report Writing Jokes
19 report writing jokes and hilarious report writing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about report writing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Report Writing Short Jokes
Short report writing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The report writing humour may include short letter writing jokes also.
- A report found 9 out of 10 bishops write with a fountain pen. Only God knows what the other one does with it.
- I was in my English class the other day.... And I didn't understand the book that was in the curriculum.
So I made all my students write a 3 page report about it. - Johnny: Dad, can you write in the dark? Johnny: Dad, can you write in the dark? Father: I think so. What do you want me to write? Johnny: Your name on this report card.
- Son-Dad, can you write in the dark? Dad-I think so. What is it you want me to write?
Son-your name on this report card. - How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.
Two to write a report and one to file a complaint. - Joseph Stalin decides to reorganize the Soviet police. Each unit will consist of three officers:
* one to read the bulletins
* one to write the reports, and
* one to keep an eye on the intellectuals
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Report Writing One Liners
Which report writing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with report writing? I can suggest the ones about article writing and writing a book.
- I was told to write a report of waffles But I failed because there was to much walfling
- I have a class in school where we read stories and write reports on them. It's lit
Report Writing Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about report writing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean write essay jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make report writing pranks.
The Mystery of Childbirth
A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents, "How was I born?"
His mother awkwardly answers, "The stork brought you."
"Oh," says the boy. "Well, how were you and Daddy born?"
"Oh, the stork brought us, too, and Grandpa and Grandma."
The boy begins his paper, "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
A policeman is told to write a report at a crime scene.
Policeman: the dead man was found lying on the pawemant......he is lying on the pave.........p a v e
*The policeman kicks the body onto the street*
Policeman: the dead man was found lying on the street.
A reporter is at the airport, writing a piece on the womanising reputation of airline pilots.
She approaches a handsome, uniformed captain and asks, "for my article, can you please tell me the last time you made love?
It was 1959 , says the pilot.
"Oh wow, that long ago?" she responds, "I thought you airline pilots held a reputation as real ladies men"
Pilot looks at his watch and says "Well, considering it's only 2025 now..."
A constable receives notification about a theft from McGregor's farm near Nottingham. The dispatcher tells him that farmer McGregor reports the theft of 2033 pigs...
The constable starts writing the report, but decides to double-check the exact amount of the pigs. He calls McGregor and asks: "Mr McGregor, are you absolutely sure that there were 2033 pigs stolen?"
"Oh, yeth, conthtable, abtholutely!" McGregor answers.
The constable thanks him and continues to write the report: "Victim McGregor lost 2 sows and 33 pigs".
A reformed Mexican g**... was trying to change his life...
so he decides to go back to school and one night he was writing a book report, he was sitting at his desk by the window and a gust of wind knocked his papers away and scattered outside...he says "Come back here essay!"
How many consultants does it take to change a lightbulb?
1 to collect all the information from the client what he wants done
1 to fill a flipchart with nonsensical b**...
1 to whip the interns to actually collect the data required (i.e. someone has to pretend to work)
1 to write a report about it
12 to bill the work of the 18 people (but you get the interns for free!)
The lightbulb of course didn't get changed. We only tell you that you should do it and how you should do it, changing it is not part of our job.
A man amd his wife walk into a store and the wife steals a jar of peaches
Loss prevention catches her however, and pulls them aside to wait for a police officer to show up. Upon arrival, he is told what happened and handed the jar. He then counts how many slices of peach there are, for she is to spend a week in jail for each one. In this case 6. The officer then pulls out the paper on which to write up the report, but just as he begins to fill it out, the husband exclaims, "Wait! She stole a can of peas too!"
So a journalist visits a small town...
So a journalist visits a rural town, she is trying to find something interesting to write about and finally spots an old man sitting outside his house. She decides to walk up to this man and ask, "hello there Sir, I am interested in writing an article on this town, could you tell me something good that happened to you and something bad?".
The old man agrees. "Well, a good thing was when my mate's wife went missing, so we rounded up a group of us and went out lookin'. When we found her we all took turns having our way with her."
The reporter was quite shocked. "So what was the bad moment then?"
The old man looks her in the eye and replies, "well there was the time when I went missing"
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.
Congress said someone may steal from it at night; so they created a night watchman, GS-4 position and hired a person for the job.
Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?"
So they created a planning position and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, GS-12 and one person to do time studies,
GS-1.
Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"
So they created a Q. C. position and hired two people, one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports.
Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?"
So they created the following positions, a time keeper, GS-09, and a payroll officer, GS-11, and hired two people.
Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"
So they created an administrative position and hired three people, an Admin.
Officer GM-13, Assistant Admin.
Officer GS-12, and a Legal Secretary GS-08.
Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $280,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."
So they laid off the night watchman.