Replys Jokes
39 replys jokes and hilarious replys puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about replys that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Replys Short Jokes
Short replys jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The replys humour may include short finds jokes also.
- My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up." "Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."
- The son went to his dad and asked him, "Dad, what's an alcoholic?" So the dad replied, "Do you see those four trees? Well, an alcoholic would see eight."
The son replied, "But Dad, I only see two." - I asked my mum "How much is a couple?" "2 or 3" she replied.
Probably explains why her marriage collapsed. - A child asks his father what "gay" means The father says it means happy to his son, to which the son replies "Dad are you gay?" The father laughs and says "no son I have a wife".
- A father in iraq gifted his daughter a new bag. The girl replied, "Thanks for the Baghdad"
- What does gay mean? asked a son to his father.
"It means 'happy,'" the father answered.
"Oh," replied the son, "so are you gay, then?"
"No, son, I have a wife." - My wife screamed in pain during labor so I asked, What's wrong? . She screamed. These contractions are going to kill me! I am sorry, honey, I replied. What is wrong?
- My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?" "Whatever means necessary," she replied.
"No it doesn't," I said. - At breakfast, a man asked his wife What would you do I if won the lottery? She replied, I'd take half, and then leave you. Great, he said I won $12 yesterday. Here's $6. Stay in touch.
- My girlfriend asked me who my favorite vampire is. I replied, "The one from Sesame Street."
She said, "He doesn't count."
"Oh I assure you, he does."
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Replys One Liners
Which replys one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with replys? I can suggest the ones about grabs and feedback.
- My friend wanted t know how I got all my karma I replied "piece of cake"
- Today my son asked me, Dad are we pyromaniacs? I replied: yes, we arson.
- My dentist asked me the last time I flossed I replied, "You remember.. You were there.."
- My friend text me 'what are you doing now?' I replied 'Probably failing my driving test'.
- I asked someone in North Korea how their day was going... They replied, "Can't complain."
- My friend wanted to know how I got all my 'karma' I simply replied piece of cake
- A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange." So I replied, "No it doesn't."
- 'How old arr you?' asked one of the pirate's sailors. The pirate replied, 'Aye matey.'
- A nurse told me "Sorry for the wait!" I replied "It's alright, I'm patient."
- I told my therapist I feel like I'm invisible My therapist replied, "who said that?"
- "You're odd" she said. "Not even" I replied.
- I asked God what the most unlikely thing in the Universe was. He replied.
- So my friend asked me how often I make chemistry jokes. I replied "Periodically"
- A friend challenged me to get more karma I replied *"piece of cake"*
- I asked the engineer, "What's 2+2?" He replied, "4 ... No, 5 just to be safe."
Replys Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about replys you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean picks jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make replys pranks.
A guy just finishes his lasik surgery and his surgeon leads him in his office to discuss the surgery...
The surgeon asks if he wants the good news or bad news first.
The man excitedly ~~replys~~ replies, "I'll take the good news first."
The surgeon tells him, "well you're about to get a new dog."
Two newfies are walking down a path...
They see a sheep tangled up in a fence. The one says "man, I wish that was a pretty lady" to which his friend replys "i just wish it was dark"
two conceited people having s**......
...girl says "tight, huh?" guy replys "nah, just full"
A disabled kid goes out to the ice cream man...
...and says, "Mithster can I've an Icth Cream??" and the Ice Cream man says "Of course you can, what would you like on it? chocolate sauce?, strawberry sauce?, a flake?" and the kid replys "It doethn't matter, I'll jutht drop it anyway"
A man goes into the doctor with a penguin on his head.
The doc asks. "And what can I do for you?."
Penguin replys. "Well Doc. It started as a growth on my foot...."
Two atoms are talking and one says "I think I lost an electron."
The other atom says "Are you sure?" The first atom replys "Yes, I'm positive!"
A man visits a p**... who charges 20$ and ends up with c**... so he goes back and complains.
She replys: "It was only 20$. What were you expecting? Lobster?"
Two hydrogen atoms decide that they want to ride on the Large Hadron Collider.
They jump on a plane to Switzerland and sneak in while no one is looking. As they start to speed up one of them realises that they have both lost their electrons. It mentions it to his friend who asks "Are you sure?"
It replys "I'm positive."
A mother asks her Son, Tom, am I a bad mother?
The son replys, My name is John
Pirate joke
A teacher is giving a history lesson on pirates. He asks the students a question.
"What is a pirates favorite letter".
A student's excitedly shouts " R "!
Teacher replys "You would think it's R but it's the C they love".
A man and his Giraffe walk into a bar
So a man and a Giraffe walk into a bar, they stroll up to the bar and order a few drinks. Now after about an hour the Giraffe who has had far too much passes out, the man seeing this pays his tab and gets up to leave and the bar tender shouts: "Oi! You can't leave that lyin' there!" To which the man replys:
"That's not a Lion it's a Giraffe"
The husband asks the wife...
The husband asks the wife:
-Babe which do you like the best, strawberry or banana?
The wife asks him:
-Why are you at the Supermarket?
The husband replys:
No I'm at the pharmacy...
A young bear cub was roaming the jungle . An animal he had never seen before comes strolling out of the trees.
He asks " excuse me what kind of animal are you?"
The animal replys
" well, I am a tiger"
The bear acts suprised and says " are you sure? You don't look like a tiger."
The tiger says " Do you think I'm a lyin?"
A priest and and a rabbi are having a walk in a park.
As they walk past a playground the priest looks at the rabbi and says. Hey should we screw those kids? The rabbi replys. Out of what?
an elderly woman's dog jumps off a retaining wall
a German tourist passes by and see the elderly woman and decides to jump in after the the dog. He swims the dog back to shore and the woman comes up to him and asks him if hes a vet and the tourist replys "Vet? im vucking soaked".
[ True Story / Legend ] A group of guys walk by Arnold working out on Venice beach..
One of the guys says "Look at this guy, I would never want to be that big".
To which Arnold replys, "Goode because you neva vill", as he finishes a pump.
Two snakes meet in the jungle...
Two snakes meet in the jungle.
One asks the other: "Are we poisonous?? "
The other says: "Why do you ask?"
The first replys: "I just bit my tongue..."
Stop me if you've heard this.......3 pieces of rope go into a bar......
The bartender says: "We don't serve your kind here you have to leave." So the pieces of rope leave but one of them is determined and thirsty so he twists himself all up and messes up his hair real bad and goes back into the bar. The bartender says: "Say wern't you just here with those other pieces of rope?" The little piece of rope replys: "No, I'm a frayed knot!" (Yes - rope gets thirsty and can talk!)
An American and a Brit walk into a bar
The Brit says "I'll have a wine"
The American replys "I know you will"
Pony says to bear can you yell at moose for me? Bear says why don't you do it your self? Pony replys..
I'm a little horse.
Two men are walking down the street...
As they are walking they see a large German Shepherd l**... his sack
One of the men says "Man I wish I could do that."
The other replys "I think you should pet him first."
A man walks into a bar
A man walks into a bar and sees an Indian staring at his drink . So he takes the Indians drink and drinks it . Then the indian starts to cry . So the man says it's not that bad I'll buy you a new drink if you want . The Indian replys it's not that . The man ask what's the problem. And the indian says this morning I must my alarm and I was late for work then I went to work and I got fired , I come home early and find out my wife is cheating on me . So I come to this bar and I try to commit s**... but then you drink my poison .
So one day a guy walks in a bar
and sits next to his friends, after a few drinks he needs to go to the bathroom and he goes for the u**... next to an african-american man, when he was finishing he sees the other man's thing and asks: "how do you guys get it that big ?" to which the man replys: " we hit it to concrete everyday " with a mocking manner, time passes and after 1 month they are in the same bar again and they came across each other in the urinals, The african-American man asks the other dude if he used the technique that he advised him. To which the other dude replys: "I was able to give it the color, but there is no change with the size."
A thirsty man is crawling...
through the desert and comes up to a jewish tie salesman. He begs the salesman for water, but the salesman replys, "I don't have any water, but I have some nice ties for sale." The thirsty man again begs for water and the salesman says, " I only have ties, but over that sand dune 30 miles is a town with water." The thirsty man crawls the 30 miles to the town. Several hours later the man comes crawling back to the tie salesman and says, "I made it to the town with water, but they won't let me in without a tie."
