Repelled Jokes
43 repelled jokes and hilarious repelled puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about repelled that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Repelled Short Jokes
Short repelled jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The repelled humour may include short jokes also.
- Yo mama so fat... Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity
But she so ugly people are still repelled by her - What do you call it when your shower tiles are cracked and don't repel water the way they should? A wrecked tile dysfunction.
- What did the male magnet tell the female magnet? When I saw your backside I was repelled, but now that I see your frontside I am very attracted
- I find myself buying the same mosquito repellent my boyfriend gives me I guess you could say he's rubbing Off on me
- My friends all call me a chick magnet. However due to my lack of ferromagnetic material in my chemical makeup I can can't seem to think of what repels all these girls.
- The Bank just rejected my loan request to start a magnet themed attraction park. They were repelled by the concept.
- My cave exploring guide asked me if I'd ever repelled before. I told him that I've been repelling people for years.
- My shorts are hydrophobic They don't repel water, they just think it shouldn't be able to adopt or get married.
- Why don't protons repel each other in the nucleus of an atom? Because they're f\*\*king gay
- Why did the Golden State Killer shoplift dog repellent? To help out his friend, David Berkowitz!
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Repelled One Liners
Which repelled one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with repelled? I can suggest the ones about and .
- I just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent. Now he'll never have any friends.
- I'm such a great chick magnet Too bad I'm the kind that repels rather than attracts
- When in high school, I was always a chick magnet... ...the side that repels.
- I just purchased Big Foot repellant. Er, sorry, a camera.
- I am a chick magnet I repel women
- Stealing mosquito repellent... Jacking Off!©
- How did the scientist invent the mosquito repellent? He started from scratch
- I'm the worlds best women magnet... I seem to repel every single one away.
- I sprayed mosquito repellent on a mosquito Now he won't have any friends
- I know a guy who has a f**... for insect repellents. He likes to get OFF.
- Shopping for insect repellent spray is so s**....... I always get Off.
- I'm like a magnet when it comes to dating I repel the opposite s**...
- What's the best repellent for getting rid of jerks? j**...-Off
- Just invented mug repellant It's called f**...
Repelled Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about repelled you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make repelled pranks.
An Olympic swimmer...
...is on a cruise ship, when it hits a reef and sinks. Bobbing in the waves, he spies an island in the distance, makes for it, and barely gets ashore. All he finds on the isle are fruit trees, a female sheep and a big dog. The fruit trees provide sustenance, but he starts to feel lonely. The sheep has luxurious fur, beautiful eyes and long lashes that she shyly bats at him. When he approaches her, the dog viciously attacks and repels him. This goes on for months, until he can hardly bear it.
One day he sees another ship sinking at sea. Swimming out, he sees a woman thrashing in the waves. He saves her as she's about to perish, and hauls her ashore. As luck would have it, she's absolutely gorgeous.
"I'm so grateful to you for saving my life...I'll do anything you ask, as a way to repay you."
The swimmer can't believe his luck. "Anything?"
The young woman smiles coyly. "Anything your heart desires."
"Can you take that big dog over there for a walk?"
The warning sign
There was a watermelon plantation which had been constantly spoiled by night thieves who were trespassing to steal melons. The owner came with an idea to repel the intruders: he put a warning sign on the plantation's fence: "Beware! Steal on your own risk! One melon below this fence is poisoned!"
The next day, there were no more missing melons and a short text added on the warning sign: "Now there are two".
If I spray a mosquito with mosquito repellant...
Will he be so filled with self loathing that he commits s**...?
I sprayed insect repellant on a mosquito
It didn't kill him right away. He eventually committed s**... because he couldn't stand to be around himself.
A Belgian farmer is working on his farm
He's busy sprinkling blue powder all over the place. As he is doing so, a young boy walks past the farm and sees the farmer.
He asks the farmer: "Farmer, why do you sprinkle this blue powder all over your farm?"
The farmer answers: "This powder is elephant repellant!"
The boy replies: "But there aren't any elephants over here!"
The farmer answers: "Strong powder, right?"
Ps. This is my dad's favourite joke