Following is our collection of funny Repair jokes. There are some repair install jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these repair computer repair puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Hitler and Stalin are sitting at the bar. A patron walks up to the bar and asks the barman if that's Hitler and Stalin sitting over there. He says yes.The man goes over to Hitler and Stalin and asks what they are doing. "We're planning world war 3" says Stalin. "We're going to kill 14 million Jews and 1 bike repair man" says Hitler. "Why the bike repair man?" The patron asks. Hitler says to Stalin "See? i told you no one would ask about the Jews"
Blonde 1: Oh, what's that DVD about?
Blonde 2: It's how to repair household items!
Blonde 1: What do you need to repair?
Blonde 2: My DVD player
To get some soles!
Background: my dad was a biomed tech and did work for all branches throughout many areas.
One day, he's at a Navy submarine repair station. as him and his buddy are walking in, 2 Navy guys see em and say 'Air Force? what are you guys doing here? where are they going to put the landing strip?'
the other Navy guys says, 'fuck that, where are they going to put the golf course?'
He is flying through the air and is having a lot of fun.
Then he pulls the chord ... but nothing happens! The parachute wont open!
panicing he pulls the safety chord ... nothing happens again!
He is falling ever so fast, when suddenly a guy comes flying up from beneath him!
The skydiver yells "hey! Do you repair parachutes!?"
The guy yells back! "Nope, gas ovens..."
(english is not my first language, excuse my spelling please)
I told them it wasn't pressing.
They said they'd look into it.
"Slightly rusty, in need of repair but has potential"
A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler and Stalin sitting at a table. He walks up to them and asks what they are doing. Hitler says were planning WW3. The man asks what's going to happen this time. Hitler says this time were going to kill 15 million Jews and a bicycle repair man. The man asks why a bicycle repair man. Hitler turns to Stalin and says see I told you know one would care about the 15 million Jews.
Michael Bay had to use CGI to repair buildings
I'm going to the violin repair shop tomorrow.
You can explore repair restore reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean repair electronics dad jokes. There are also repair puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
High maintenance
Wife: You need to fix the bathroom window, then neighbor can see me every time I shower.
Husband; I know, he saw you and called me to tell me he's paying for the window repair.
Now he has to deal with the repercussions.
One day they all come back from a trip and find out that the elevator to their floor has shut down and is under repair, so they're forced to take the long walk up the stairs.
To make the walk up a little more exciting, they decide to each tell a sad, terrifying, or depressing story every 20 floors. When they finally get to the top, the tenth friend gets to tell his story.
"I think I left the keys in the car."
My wife has absolutely no confidence in my ability to repair electrical items around the house.
Well, she's in for a shock!
My mood just shifted, there was no escape. I honestly just lost control. I need to alt-er these episodes of mine, these repair bills are building up quite a tab.
It seems everyone knows how to repost here.
He answered. The man on the phone asked, "When will my car be fixed?"
PFC: "Can't talk now I am working on some annoying General's car."
General: "Do you know who this is?"
PFC: "No."
General: "This is the ANNOYING GENERAL!"
PFC: "Well, do you know who this is?"
General: "No."
PFC: "Good, goodbye!"
'That is great,' I replied, 'nevertheless I want you to repair the car before you sell it to me.'
We'll call the program "Operation Pot Holes."
I asked the shop owner "My computer is too slow. What can I do ?"
Shop owner inspected the computer and said "It needs some hardware acceleration"
Me: How much acceleration would it need ?
Shop owner: 9.8 meter per second squared.
...and asks, "do y'all do walk-ins?"
"How did you find it?" he asked.
I said, "With difficulty."
Then someone said put it in rice... BUT WHY?... The rice attracts asians which secretly repair your phone at night...
It's a job I can really see myself doing.
I figure there are enough reposters here that it will only take a few minutes.
They're going to call it 2 Girls 1 CPU
It was a spectacle to behold.
Crazy Glue...
Then I'd paint the floor with those red squiggly lines...
but Snitches get stitches
"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Doorbell repair guy, is now an alright time?"
All of a sudden his engine starts running really rough, and smoke is coming from under the hood. Luckily, there's an auto repair shop right next to the mall, so he pulls in there. The mechanic says he'll be glad to take a look, but he won't be able to get to it for a couple hours. The penguin says fine, and walks across the street to the mall.
He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc. Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic.
The penguin says, "Have you had time to look at my engine?"
The mechanic says, "Yeah, it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "No, that's just ice cream."
Everytime I try to use Microsoft's search engine on my Italian laptop, the computer explodes. I took it to my Italian Computer repair store. The Italian repairman said "What seems to be the problem? Please keep it brief" so I said "Bad-a-Bing, Bad-a-boom!"
The Grim Repair.
I can't see it happening.
...and said, "make it sew."
Uncertain Times
Vacuum repair shops really are for broke suckers.
What's you business?
A trampoline company in Prague.
How's it going?
It's not great, the Czech's keep bouncing...
What's your business?
We repair elevators in high rise buildings.
How's it going?
Meh, it's up and down.
What's your business?
...
Carry it on!
It was owned by a couple of guys, Jack and Jay. Both guys were really well known and liked around town but Jack never seemed to come into the shop.
People would come in frequently looking for Jack and I would tell them Jays here but Jacks off all day.
A friendly young man informed him, Well, you could bring it in for a cleaning, but we charge $50 for that, so you might be better off just reading the manual and trying the job yourself.
Pleasantly surprised by this candor, the man said, Thanks, son. Does your boss know that you discourage business?
Actually, it was my boss's idea, said the young employee. He says that if we let people try to fix things themselves first, we end up making even more money!
Repair, reuse, recycle.
Crack Whores... "We fill any crack"
It'll be called Snitches Get Stitches .
None, its on the house.
I had to deport it.
It's between 8am and 1pm
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the repair outlet jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working repair geordi piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.