Rented Jokes
39 rented jokes and hilarious rented puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rented that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Rented Short Jokes
Short rented jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rented humour may include short rental jokes also.
- I am getting so sick of millennials and their attitude. Always walkin around like they rent the place.
- There should be a millennial edition of monopoly where you just walk around the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.
- I spent all my cash renting a limo and it didn't come with a driver. Wasted all that money and nothing to chauffeur it.
- [God-awful OC] What do you call someone who lets people rent wifi signals from them? The lanlord!
- A company just rented me a limo for $300, but I just found out that it doesn't come with a driver. So I have a limo but nothing to chauffeur it.
I'll show myself out.., - I'm getting really sick of millennials attitudes lately Walking around like they rent the place.
- Five ants moved into an apartment. Then five more moved in. Now the landlord is asking for rent.
- My landlord doubled my rent. I'm going to give up drinking for a month. Sorry I missed punctuation there.
I'm going to give up, drinking for a month. - Anne Frank showed a cunning and resolve that any Jew would have been proud of. Two years rent free.
- Jesus has been living in my heart for years... ...and I still haven't received one rent check!
No wonder they call him king of the Jews...
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Rented One Liners
Which rented one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rented? I can suggest the ones about hired and bought.
- How many ants does it take to rent a house? Ten ants
- Millenials. Walking around like they rent the place.
- I rented some heavy lifting equipment in Kiev from a company called You crane.
- What do you call cheap apartments in the Middle East? Low rents of Arabia.
- Ugh, I hate millenials... Walking around here like they rent the place.
- My ant farm has 9 ants. One more and I'll have to start collecting rent.
- How did Beethoven rent out his house? He put it up Fur Elise
- I couldn't recall where I had rented my car from... ...but then I remembered the Alamo
- I rented Batman Forever from Blockbuster I never returned it
- What do you call a haunted house, whose ghost could not pay the rent? Repossessed
- Why couldn't Bach pay for his rent? Because he was a Baroque composer.
- Why do people rent wigs? So they don't have toupe for their own.
- Happy Easter April Fools
Now go pay your rent. - I live in a bouncy castle. The rent is high, but that's just due to inflation.
- How many ants do you need to rent out a place? Tenants
Silly & Ridiculous Rented Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about rented you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rental car jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rented pranks.
Over smart.
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."
An Australian takes a vacation in america...
He's driving along in his rented car and a cop notices him driving on the wrong side of the road.
He pulls him over and says "Do you realize you're driving on the wrong side of the road!?"
The Australian says "Oh I'm from Australia."
The cop says "Well did you come here to die!?"
"No," replies the Australian. "I came here yesterduai!"
A man's father has just passed...
The son is arranging the f**... and talks to the mortician about his father's remains. He says "I know we don't have much money, but I want the best for my father. Please do what you can".
A week after the f**..., the mortician presents the son with a bill for $50. Thinking it to be very reasonable, the son pays the bill. The next week, the son gets another $50 bill from the mortician. He pays that as well.
A week later low and behold a third bills comes to the son for $50. The son calls the mortician and says "The f**... was 3 weeks ago, why am I still getting this $50 bill?" "You wanted the best for your father", the mortician says, "so I rented him a tux".
I took a Scottish girl to the countryside.
"Hello view!" she said, looking out the window of our rented house.
I said, "I love you too..."
A young businessman had just started his own firm.
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and furnished it with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wanting to appear busy, he picked up the phone and started to pretend big deal was in the works. He threw a huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked: Can I help you?
Sure , the man said I've come to connect the phone.
Arthur and Lancelot went to the inn and rented a room for 2 knights.
Arthur slept in a king sized bed, Lancelot took the queen.
Did you hear about how realistic Call of Duty: WWII is?
Sledgehammer Games rented servers from the 1940s to replicate WWII as accurately as possible
The Jones and the Smiths decided to try swinging…
… so they left for the week-end to a mountain resort where they rented two cabins, and they swapped partners for the night.
The next morning, Joe Smith woke up, and said let's go see how the ladies are doing …
I rented a p**... for $60 an hour,
I paid her 50 cents.
A man rented an uber and and the cabbie arrived exactly on time
The passenger said: "wow you are so punctual just like frank"
Cabbie: excuse me?
Passenger: frank is a great guy, always on time, knows the best restaurants, wear the best clothes, always keeps his promises and never ever treat his family badly.
Cabbie: so is frank your friend or...?
Passenger: no I've never met him but I married his ex wife
Two older couple…
Two older couple in their 80's rented a room at a fancy hotel on the 59th floor. They got into an argument and the woman threaten to jump out the window. The old guy call down to the front office and asked to speak with the manager. He said " look hmm me and my wife just got into a big fight and now she's threatening to jump out the window." The manager replied "I am so sorry to hear that, but normally we don't get involve in domestic situations." The old man replied "look a**... I don't need your help ok I just want you to send the maintenance guy up here to open the d**... window already."
When I was 12 I got kidnapped. When my parents found out they snapped into action.
They rented out my room.
Young Han Solo never bought his own ship...
He just rented a Millennial Falcon.
I like my girls like my skis...
I like my girls like I like my skis, rented and with plenty of wax on the bottom.
We just rented the DVD movie "Rules Don't Apply" and I put it in upside down.
It was wrong.
I just rented a car from an auto rental in Berlin and I seem to have a little problem with the satnav
It only shows me the route to Poland.
I'm going to have to rethink my time machine rental business.
People keep bringing them back a day before they rented them.
My wife and I rented Black Hawk Down last night.
Or, as Brian Williams likes to call it, the Brian Williams Story.
Did you hear about the man that rented his dog?
It was leashed.
Last week, the CEO of Planters Peanuts rented an entire Greyhound bus to ship 1 prototype peanut across the country. What does that mean he did?
He bussed a nut
