Rental Jokes
74 rental jokes and hilarious rental puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rental that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover hilarious jokes about rental cars, equipment, property, hertz car rental, vacation rentals, toyota, limousines and more! Amazingly funny jokes to hire make your day better. Read now to discover the best rental jokes and get a good laugh.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Rental Short Jokes
Short rental jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rental humour may include short rent free jokes also.
- WANTED: Large amount of rats, mice and bed bugs … as my current rental agreement requires me to leave the apartment in the condition it was when I moved in.
- I complained to my local video rental store because they only have one movie to rent. They said, take IT or leave IT.
- My landlord is threatening to kick me out because I haven't made a single rental payment in years. She said, "Listen son, your 35. Don't you think you should get a place of your own?"
- I had a chance to buy a couple of haunted houses and turn them into rental properties... but I said no, because who wants to be the lessor of two evils?
- The girl who works at the car rental company refuses to go out with me and it really Hertz.
- I am thinking about opening a dungeons and dragons themed vacation rental... I'm going to call it Air D&D
- What's the difference between a movie rental machine and several prehistoric towns? One is Redbox, the others are Bedrocks.
- I prefer to buy rental properties that take up an entire city block or more. I'm in it for the long hall.
- There's a new video subscription service in Russia called Nyetflix But the rental period is too short so you're always Russian!
- 4 buddies put in together for a joint rental application They just wanted to pass it around and take a few hits, then give it back.
Share These Rental Jokes With Friends
Rental One Liners
Which rental one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rental? I can suggest the ones about paying rent and tenants.
- I got hit by a rental car. It still Hertz.
- What's the fastest car on earth? A rental car.
- What is the only car that can go 40 mph in reverse? A rental
- I slammed my hand in the door at the car rentals It Hertz...
- Why are rental cars so depressed all the time? Because they're loners.
- What's the only painful car rental company? Hertz.
- I saw an ad in the paper. FOR RENTAL: DFS building. Unfurnished.
- What do you call a moving truck rental company in Texas? U-all.
- The definition of a "gigahertz" World's largest car rental service.
- Why was the mole's rental fee so costly? Because he burrowed and never returned
- How is the merit of a rental broom measured? Miles per Galleon!
- Tenant landlord question for rental apartment in North Dakota
- How does it feel to c**... a rental car? It Hertz.
- If Jon snow had a dvd rental place Would it be a blockbastard?
- What do you call an Asian p**...? An Ori-Rental.
Rental Car Jokes
Here is a list of funny rental car jokes and even better rental car puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Hertz car rentals announced a last minute marketing campaign today to avoid bankruptcy They hired Michael Stipes from R.E.M. to remind people everybody Hertz
- I just rented a car from an auto rental in Berlin and I seem to have a little problem with the satnav It only shows me the route to Poland.
- What's the difference between a rental car and a Jeep? There are some places you wouldn't take a Jeep.
- What's the difference between a Humvee and a rental car? There are just some places a Humvee wont go!
- Killed In Action Said the elderly globetrotting veteran when I asked what kind of rental car he was driving. He'd never heard of Kia...
- What is the difference between a rental car and a Humvee? You can take a rental car anywhere.
- I heard that the white van involved in the London bridge incident was actually a rental car. Hertz
- "Would I get charged for returning this car rental to a different location?" It never Hertz to ask.
Delightful Fun Rental Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about rental you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean landlord tenant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rental pranks.
I found this story amusing.
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.
Prom
Prom was approaching at Central High School, and Doug needed a date. He got the nerve up to ask a popular and pretty girl, Susan, to prom. To his surprise, she said "yes." He was so excited, he went to a tuxedo shop that day to secure his rental. There was a very long line, as many other boys were renting tuxedos as well, but he waited patiently because he was so thrilled, and orders his tuxedo. A week passes. Doug realizes he wants to rent a limo for the big night to impress Susan, so he goes to a car rental shop. There's an even longer line and over a hundred people are waiting, but he's so excited that he waits and waits and finally secures his limo reservation. The big day approaches, and Doug can't contain his excitement. He goes to the flower shop to buy a corsage and a boutineer. Every guy in town is already waiting in line, but he patiently goes to the back and waits his turn. Hours pass, and he finally purchases his items. Flower in hand, he goes and picks Susan up for prom. The night is well, and Doug and Susan are having a blast. They're dancing and laughing and having a generally good time, and soon Susan leans in close to Doug and whispers that she'd like a glass of punch. So Doug, bent on getting her a drink, looks over to the drink tables and sees that there's no punch line.
Going to the Prom
A boy decided to go to the prom. He needed a tuxedo, flowers, and a limo, so he went to the tux rental store. There was a huge tuxedo line, so he waited an hour and got his outfit. He went to the flower sop, where another huge line had formed, so he had to wait another hour. After he finally got his flowers, he went to the limo rental place, only to find an hour-long limo line. After he got his car, he got dressed, picked up his date, and went to the prom. After an hour of dancing, he got thirsty and went to get some punch. When he got to the able, he was relieved to find that there was no punch line.
Hot girl at prom
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.
Prom Joke
I asked my girlfriend to prom and she said yes so I bought waited in a very long line for prom tickets. I then went to a limo rental place and waited in a very long line to rent one. Then, the day of prom I waited in a very long line to get flowers for my date. At prom, my girlfriend and I danced for a while and she asked, "can you please get me some punch?" there was no punchline.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Rental fleet car is like a p**..., own car is like a wife
Never marry a p**....
Prom Date
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. There two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time.
When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and ... there's no punchline.
A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom.
A dude is taking his girlfriend to the prom. So, he's getting everything in order before the big day.
He goes to pick up flowers, but there is a line at the flower shop. So, he waits in the flower line and eventually gets the flowers.
He goes to rent his tuxedo, but there is a line at the tuxedo store. So, he waits in the tuxedo line and eventually gets the tuxedo.
He goes to rent a limo, but there is a line at the limo rental. So, he waits in the limo line and eventually gets the limo.
They get to prom and upon sitting down, his girlfriend asks for punch. So, he goes to the punch table, and there's no punch line.
I'm going to have to rethink my time machine rental business.
People keep bringing them back a day before they rented them.
Ooooh it's ever so sad
At a boat rental company, the radio operator said into the microphone: "boat 99, your hour is up, please head in."
An employee walks up to him and says: "We only have 75 boats, sir there is no boat 99."
The radio operator says: "Boat 66, are you in trouble?"
A boy asks a girl to the prom and she says yes.
He goes to organise a limo at the rental limo place and due to everyone else wanting a limo for the prom he has to wait in line for ages to get one.
He then goes to the flower store to buy her some flowers but again everyone is there buying flowers and he's stuck in line for seems like hours.
After flowers he goes to get his tuxedo at the store and the line is huge again with everyone else getting their tux's too.
He finally makes it to the prom with his date, they arrive and he asks if she wants to go onto the dance floor. She says "I'm a little thirsty, can I get some punch first?" He says "ok" and goes up to get some punch and there is no punchline.
A boy asks a girl to prom..,
..and she says yes. Overexcited, he is told he must show up with a limo and a tuxedo. So he goes to the limo rental and waits in the limo line, and he gets the limo. Then, he goes to the tuxedo rental and waits in the tuxedo line. Finally, the big day comes, and he brings his date to prom. She asks him to get some punch. He goes over to get some punch, and realizes there is no punch line.
Why did the owner of the pear loaning company make his parents his accountants?
Because they were his pear rental figures.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you came across 10 kilos of c**... in the back of a rental car, what would you do?
c**...
10 ants were applying for a joint rental application...
...They meet with the rental agent and are discussing details of the property. One of the ants says "so this ant next to me is Dave, we met in university - great guy. Sarah, Jack and Bobby over there I met through work at the ant hill two trees over, we used to go out leaf hunting together - so much fun. Jackson over here I met at my Cousin's birthday where he got up on a table and started dancing. Amanda here came from interstate to stay wi...."
"ENOUGH!" shouts the rental agent. "What has any of this got to do with your rental application??"
"Oh" the ant replied "I was just giving you our ten ant history"
Did you hear about the rental boat that didn't allow dogs or women on board?
It was called the Cat-or-a-Man Catamaran.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance.
She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is **no punch line.**
A boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom
First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
At the prom, the two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.
Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 81, your two hour rental period is up, please return to the dock.
Boat rental intern to manager: uh, sir, we only have 60 boats.
Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 18, do you require assistance?
At the airport check-in counter
At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both herself and her husband.
The clerk pointed out that this would prevent them for sitting together.
"Sweetie," the woman replied, "I've just spent 10 days of quality time in a compact rental car with this man. I *know* what I'm requesting!"
"How can you watch Victoria Secret Fashion Week but still claim you love only me?" My wife asked
" The same way I watch Formula One whole weekend but still drive my trusted 2012 Toyota Camry everyday" I replied..
That satisfied her...
I just failed to mention I take rental at Enterprise when I go on business trips
A Mechanical Engineer, a software engineer and a purchasing agent...
..are on their way to an industry event when their rental car gets a flat tire. The purchasing agent says
"We need to buy a new tire"
the mechanical engineer says
"no, I think I can fix this one"
and the software engineer says,
"let's drive on it for a while, maybe it'll fix itself."
A boy asks a girl to prom
A boy asks a girl to prom and she says yes.
He wants to looks nice so he heads to the suit store. As there's a lot of prom goers shopping, there's a long suit line.
The boy waits in the line, buys the suit and and leaves to go rent a car.
As there's a lot of prom goers here as well, there's a long rental line.
The boy waits in the line, rents a car and goes to pick up his date.
An hour into dancing, the girl says she's thirsty and asks for a drink. The boy goes to get her some punch.
But there is no punch line.
