Rental Car Jokes
48 rental car jokes and hilarious rental car puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rental car that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Rental Car Short Jokes
Short rental car jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rental car humour may include short car hire jokes also.
- The girl who works at the car rental company refuses to go out with me and it really Hertz.
- Hertz car rentals announced a last minute marketing campaign today to avoid bankruptcy They hired Michael Stipes from R.E.M. to remind people everybody Hertz
- I just rented a car from an auto rental in Berlin and I seem to have a little problem with the satnav It only shows me the route to Poland.
- What's the difference between a rental car and a Jeep? There are some places you wouldn't take a Jeep.
- What's the difference between a Humvee and a rental car? There are just some places a Humvee wont go!
- Killed In Action Said the elderly globetrotting veteran when I asked what kind of rental car he was driving. He'd never heard of Kia...
- What is the difference between a rental car and a Humvee? You can take a rental car anywhere.
- I heard that the white van involved in the London bridge incident was actually a rental car. Hertz
- "Would I get charged for returning this car rental to a different location?" It never Hertz to ask.
- If you came across 10 kilos of c**... in the back of a rental car, what would you do? c**...
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Rental Car One Liners
Which rental car one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rental car? I can suggest the ones about rental and hertz car rental.
- I got hit by a rental car. It still Hertz.
- I got hit by a rental car today. It Hertz.
- Got hit by a rental car. Really Hertz
- What's the fastest car on earth? A rental car.
- What is the only car that can go 40 mph in reverse? A rental
- What did the employee say after getting hit by a rental car? It Hertz!
- I slammed my hand in the door at the car rentals It Hertz...
- Why are rental cars so depressed all the time? Because they're loners.
- Was hit by a rental car earlier today... It still Hertz.
- What happens when you get hit by a rental car? It Hertz.
- What's the fastest car in the world? A rental car.
- What's the only painful car rental company? Hertz.
- The definition of a "gigahertz" World's largest car rental service.
- How does it feel to c**... a rental car? It Hertz.
- Rental fleet car is like a p**..., own car is like a wife Never marry a p**....
Rental Car Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about rental car you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean car insurance jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rental car pranks.
A Mechanical Engineer, a software engineer and a purchasing agent...
..are on their way to an industry event when their rental car gets a flat tire. The purchasing agent says
"We need to buy a new tire"
the mechanical engineer says
"no, I think I can fix this one"
and the software engineer says,
"let's drive on it for a while, maybe it'll fix itself."
A boy asks a girl to prom
A boy asks a girl to prom and she says yes.
He wants to looks nice so he heads to the suit store. As there's a lot of prom goers shopping, there's a long suit line.
The boy waits in the line, buys the suit and and leaves to go rent a car.
As there's a lot of prom goers here as well, there's a long rental line.
The boy waits in the line, rents a car and goes to pick up his date.
An hour into dancing, the girl says she's thirsty and asks for a drink. The boy goes to get her some punch.
But there is no punch line.
At the airport check-in counter
At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both herself and her husband.
The clerk pointed out that this would prevent them for sitting together.
"Sweetie," the woman replied, "I've just spent 10 days of quality time in a compact rental car with this man. I *know* what I'm requesting!"
If Men Ruled the World... Laws:
Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
Car rental agencies would rent tanks.
Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car as long as you returned it within 24 hours with a full tank of gas.
Get Out of Jail Free cards would be considered legal documents.
Going to the Prom
A boy decided to go to the prom. He needed a tuxedo, flowers, and a limo, so he went to the tux rental store. There was a huge tuxedo line, so he waited an hour and got his outfit. He went to the flower sop, where another huge line had formed, so he had to wait another hour. After he finally got his flowers, he went to the limo rental place, only to find an hour-long limo line. After he got his car, he got dressed, picked up his date, and went to the prom. After an hour of dancing, he got thirsty and went to get some punch. When he got to the able, he was relieved to find that there was no punch line.
So I hear Lawyer Jokes are in...
So a Lawyer is driving home from a successful case in his prized Ferrari, when he is hit from behind in a fender bender. He pulls over to swap insurance, but the driver just keeps going. Cursing his luck, he gets out to survey the damage when another car comes flying by, and takes his car door off. He is at this point freaking out, distraught at the damage to his prized possession when another car pulls to a stop. A man gets out and says, "I saw what happened, do you need help?". The lawyer says no, he'll just have to tow it and get a rental, when the guy stops him. "You lawyers are all the same; so obsessed with material things. Can't you see the car that knocked off your car door took your left arm with it?" The lawyer looks to his left for the first time and yells " my Rolex!"
Prom
Prom was approaching at Central High School, and Doug needed a date. He got the nerve up to ask a popular and pretty girl, Susan, to prom. To his surprise, she said "yes." He was so excited, he went to a tuxedo shop that day to secure his rental. There was a very long line, as many other boys were renting tuxedos as well, but he waited patiently because he was so thrilled, and orders his tuxedo. A week passes. Doug realizes he wants to rent a limo for the big night to impress Susan, so he goes to a car rental shop. There's an even longer line and over a hundred people are waiting, but he's so excited that he waits and waits and finally secures his limo reservation. The big day approaches, and Doug can't contain his excitement. He goes to the flower shop to buy a corsage and a boutineer. Every guy in town is already waiting in line, but he patiently goes to the back and waits his turn. Hours pass, and he finally purchases his items. Flower in hand, he goes and picks Susan up for prom. The night is well, and Doug and Susan are having a blast. They're dancing and laughing and having a generally good time, and soon Susan leans in close to Doug and whispers that she'd like a glass of punch. So Doug, bent on getting her a drink, looks over to the drink tables and sees that there's no punch line.
The best salesman in the world
The boy went into the mall to get a job. He told the management that he was the world's best salesman. They gave him a job as a seller, but expected profits from day one.
On Saturday evening the manager came down and asked how many customers he had served today. The boy said he had helped one customer. The director was disappointed with the boy and said he already had sellers today who had done much better than him. The manager asked the boy how much the sale was worth, and the boy answered "$93,100.25". The manager was very confused and asked the boy what he had sold.
The boy: "I started off with a $0.25 fish hook which got him looking at the fishing poles. I set him up with the $100 bait master and asked him where he was gonna fish, I told him about that great lake down south but told him he'd need a car with all wheel drive to make it up the rough terrain so we got him into the $33,000 SUV we had on the lot, when he asked about boat rentals I thought I had lost him, but I ended up selling him the $60,000 riverking pro to top it off."
The manager steps back in disbelief and says "Wow, you sold that all to a guy who came in for a fish hook?
"No" the boy said "The customer came in and told he had to buy tampons for his wife. I simply told him the weekend was already wrecked so he might as well go on a fishing trip"