rene Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious rene puns

A horse walks into a bar; the bartender asks, "Hello, do you want a beer?" The horse responds, "I think not," and promptly disappears.

Now, admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with the French Enlightenment philosopher, Rene Descartes, who famously said, "I think, therefore I am." The horse thought not, and therefore wasn't...

But if I had explained that first, I would have been putting Descartes before da horse!

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Isaac Newton, being the big pimp Mack daddy he is, goes to the bar.

There, he sees his good friend Rene DesCartes wallowing in self pity, crying over a whiskey.

"My dear friend," Newton says, "whatever is the matter?"

"Ah, Isaac, tis terrible! My wife has been cheating on me!" DesCartes bemoans, "We are separating and I fear I shall never love again!"

"Nonsense!" says Newton, "Join me and we shall go have a romp at the brothel! Surely some woman of ill repute will catch your fancy!"

DesCartes considers, but returns to his drink; "Sorry my dear friend, but I cannot find the passion within me. Will you stay here and keep me company?"

Newton sighs, knowing that his night is ruined, but knowing his friend is in need. "Of course I shall stay my friend; sometimes you need to put DesCartes before the whores."

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So a horse walks into a bar...

So a horse walks into a bar. The barkeep seems to know that the horse frequently goes to bars, and he asks the horse, "Aren't you an alcoholic by now?"

The horse replies, "I think not!" and disappears, seemingly into thin air.

See, the joke here is based on Rene Descartes' famous philosophy of "I think, therefore I am", however, explaining that part first would be putting Descartes before the horse.

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Rene Descartes walks into a bar. . .

. . .and orders a beer. When he finishes is, the barkeep asks "Have another?" Descartes replies "I think not."

. . .and POOF. He vanishes.

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So Rene points to Gorgias in the schoolyard and says, "you're a stupid solipsist...".

...and Gorgias says, "I know you are but what I am."

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Rene Descartes walks into a bar.
The Bartender says, "Hey, Rene, you want a scotch?" Descartes replies, "No, I think not."
And then he vanishes.

No dice.

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RenΓ© Descartes Walks Into A Bar

He orders a beer and drinks it. The bartender returns and asks if he wants a second one. Rene responds "I think not" and promptly disappears.

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Rene Descartes walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "Would you like a beer?" Descartes says "I think not" and he drops dead.

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Rene Descartes goes to a restaurant and orders a cheeseburger.

The waiter says, "Would you like fries with that, sir?"

Rene Descartes replies, "I think not," and ceases to exist.

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Mr. Stark, I'm not feeling so good...

Rene Descartes get home from work.

Wife: You forgot groceries again!?

Descartes: I'm sorry honey, I wasn't thinking.

*Descartes slowly fades from existence*

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Rene Descartes walks into a bar...

The bartender asks, "will you be having a drink tonight?"

Descartes replies, "I think not."

And POOF, he disappears.

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Rene Descartes walked in to a bar.

Barkeep asks " Do you want a drink?"

Descartes says "I think not," and poof. He's gone.

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Rene Descartes walks into a bar

The bartender asks him, "Would you like a beer?"
He says, "I think not."
He disappears.

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Renewing public sector is like moving a graveyard.

You won't get much help from those already there.

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Rene Descartes walks into a bar

The bartender asks him if he'd like a drink. Descartes replies "I think not" and vanishes.

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I think, therefore I am.

Rene Descartes is sitting in a bar, having a drink. The bartender asks
him if he would like another.
I think not, he says, and vanishes in a puff of smoke.

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Rene De Carte Walks into A Bar

Rene De Carte walks into a bar.

The bartender asked if he wanted a drink.

De Carte responded with I think not

De Carte disappears.

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Renewable energy?

I'm a big fan

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Rene Descartes walks into an empty room...

After some time he remarks, Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?

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Why is Renee Zellweger sad?

She entered a Renee Zellweger lookalike contest, and lost.

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Descartes walks into the bar. The bartender asks him, "will you have your usual tonight?" Rene replies "I think not" and he disappears.

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Rene Descartes walks into a bar

The bartender offers Descartes a whiskey,
To which he replies "hmmm I don't think..."
And dissapers.

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Be careful what you think

After much thought, Rene Descartes had his eureka moment where he stated "I think, therefore I am". Feeling absolute euphoria over this revelation, he wanted to share it with someone.

Finding no one in the street, he went into a bar and said to the first person he saw "I think, therefore I am". Not understanding, the man said, that's great, but would you like to date my sister?

Looking at the man's sister, Descartes said with some disdain "I think Not", and immediately faded from existence with a tiny puff of smoke.

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A server asked Rene Descartes if he would like another cup of coffee...

He replied, "I think not!" And disappeared.

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Rene Descartes walks into a bar.

The Bartender asks "Do you want a drink?"
Descartes says "I think not," and *poof*. He's gone.

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Renee Zellweger walked into a bar...

"Oh, so that's what happened!"

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What's the most renewable part of the human body?

The solar plexus.

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I just renewed my subscription to Married Playboy.

Every month they send you a picture of the same woman.

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Salvador Dali, Rene Magritte and Max Ernst walk into a bar...

...and the bar tender said, drinks are on the house.

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TIL Rene Descartes firmly believed he was a sweet potatoe

I think, therefore I yam

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Rene Descartes is walking down the street

When he runs into a group of his cronies. Care to join us for a beer? they ask the philosopher. I think not," says Descartes and disappears.

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Rene Descartes walks into a bar

The bartender asked him if he wanted a drink to which he replied, I think not and instantly disappeared.

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What are the most funny Rene jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Rene? Well, here are the best Rene dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Rene pick up lines to share with friends.

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