JokoJokes

Removal Jokes

84 removal jokes and hilarious removal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about removal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Need a laugh? Check out this hilarious collection of removal jokes about many of the common surgeries and recoveries! From gallbladder removal to laser hair removal and addadicktome, find out why these removal jokes are so funny and get ready to chuckle.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Removal Short Jokes

Short removal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The removal humour may include short remover jokes also.

  1. Why was my post removed Can someone from admin please explain to me why my post was removed?
    I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over.
  2. Im surprised that Roy Moore wants a recount; a large gap in number had never bothered him before. Get it?
  3. Why was my post removed? Can anyone tell me why my post was removed?
    I'm a bit annoyed by this because my fence has fallen over.
  4. [ Removed by Reddit ] [ Removed by reddit on account of violating the [content policy](/help/contentpolicy). ]
  5. I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector. The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.
  6. It's a good thing Elon didn't acquire Reddit, otherwise (Your post was removed by Reddit admins, and your account was suspended)
  7. The Robinhood app has a rating of 4.7 stars in the app store. But current market conditions prevent us from allowing investors to add new star. You may only remove stars until conditions improve.
  8. Condoms 1272AD - arab Muslims invent the first condoms using the lower intestine of goats.
    1856AD - English farmers improve on the idea by first removing the intestine from the goat.
  9. What do liquid Draino and a Dutch stripper have in common? They both slowly remove clogs.
    I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original.
    Thanks for the gold !
  10. I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell... It only made it more sluggish.

Share These Removal Jokes With Friends




Removal One Liners

Which removal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with removal? I can suggest the ones about withdrawal and surgery remove.

  1. Roses are red, reposting is lame, [this post was removed due to a copyright claim.]
  2. I'd like to dedicate this joke to my wisdom teeth. [Removed]
  3. Wives are like grenades... Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
  4. A feminist and a Muslim walk into a bar. - comedy removed due to complaints -
  5. What happened to king Henry the VIII's wife's head? (removed)
  6. A wife is like a hand grenade... remove the ring and your house is gone!
  7. How do you turn a seal into a sea lion? Remove an electron.
  8. I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery hashtag nofilter
  9. How many mods does it take to screw in a light bulb? \[removed\]
  10. How do you make 7 even? By removing the S
  11. How do you turn Six into Nine? Remove the S
  12. My friend Phillip got his lip removed yesterday.. we call him Phil now
  13. My kid swallowed a torch today... It's ok - it was removed and now he's delighted.
  14. im thinking about removing my spine... i feel like its only holding me back
  15. What do you call a unicorn that's had its horn removed. Eunuchorn

Removal Man Jokes

Here is a list of funny removal man jokes and even better removal man puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • There was once a starving homeless man near Pyongyang... This joke has been removed.
    Food and shelter are plentiful in North Korea.
    To desire more is greed.
  • A man woke up in the hospital... Doctor: I'm really sorry, but we've had to remove your colon.
    Me why?
  • my girlfriend refuses to remove her leg hair man...I hate these anti-waxxers
  • How do you remove the inherent bureaucracy that's plaguing the donut industry? Cut out the middle, man.
  • A young sales clerk removed an old mans sunglasses and insisted he tries on a new pair. "I can't see myself wearing these" said the old man.
    "Why not?" asked the clerk.
    "Because I'm blind".
  • A man went into surgery to remove his tonsils. Due to a hospital error he got circumcised.
    Media was alerted by an anonymous tip.
  • Fun fact: if you take a man, remove all of his blood vessels and lay them out end to end... He'll die
  • A man goes to the doctors A man goes to the doctors, complaining about a pain in his eye.
    Man: Every time I drink coffee I get a sharp pain in my eye
    Doctor: Have you tried removing the spoon first
  • A neckbearded man walks into the doctor's office The doctor asks "what seems to be the problem sir?"
    The man solemnly removes his fedora and says "I have several maladies"
  • A man goes to the doctor with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. He says to the doctor "Doctor, can you remove this steering wheel? It's driving me nuts".

Hair Removal Jokes

Here is a list of funny hair removal jokes and even better hair removal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the most effective way to remove a sticky chewing gum from your hair ? Cancer.
  • I had one of those horrible moments this morning when I confused my wife's hair removal cream with the toothpaste. Mind you, my legs have never smelt so minty!
  • I dropped some hair removal cream onto my globe. Now I feel like I've got the world at my Veet.
  • Heard of that new product for removing gum that's stuck in your hair? Chemotherapy
  • I wanted to get rid of my body hair through laser hair removal But it grew on me
  • A Bel Air estate once owned by country singer Kenny Rogers lists for $65 million. $15 million of that is for beard hair removal.
  • I recently got laser hair removal on my groin... It was a combo hair removal and health foods facility. I left with Brazilian nuts.
  • What is under you, if you remove one letter on top of you, and if you remove two letters around you? Chair
    (Hair,
    Air)
  • What's the best way to remove chewgum out of your hair? Cancer
    Sorry...
  • What is the best way to remove gum from your hair? Cancer.
Removal joke, What is the best way to remove gum from your hair?

Colon Removal Jokes

Here is a list of funny colon removal jokes and even better colon removal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Doctor: sorry but I had to remove your colon in the surgery.. Me why?
  • Doctor: we will have to remove your colon. me why?
  • Doctor the operation was a success Patient really?
    Doctor yes, we have successfully removed the colon.
  • Doctor: I'm afraid we have to remove your colon. Me why?
  • Dr: We had to remove your colon Me Why?
  • Doctor: I'm sorry, but we had to remove your colon. Me Why?
  • I told my wife, Did you know that our next door neighbor had half his intestines removed? Her: Really? Is he in a coma?
    Me: No. A semi colon.
  • When i was younger i had part of my colon removed Now i only have a semicolon
  • My English professor had a colonoscopy... Turns out he had colon cancer so he had to have surgery to remove the tumor. Now he has a semi-colon.
  • Turns out I have colon cancer. I'm getting part of it removed tomorrow. All I'll have left is a ;

Appendix Removal Jokes

Here is a list of funny appendix removal jokes and even better appendix removal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Book, you look so much thinner! I know! I had my appendix removed!
  • I just found out a friend of mine had their appendix removed... ... so I asked what the surgical team had decided to do with the forward, introduction, contents, glossary and index?
  • My doctor removed my appendix... Now all that's left is the table of contents.
  • Why did the book get stitches? Because he had his appendix removed.
    note: books can also be female.
  • What did the doctor do after he finished reading the book? He removed the appendix!
  • I had my appendix removed a few years ago... I hope I never need surgery again. If I do, how will the surgeon be able to find anything in my body?
  • Why did the student stop citing references? Because he had his appendix removed.
  • When your appendix is removed it's called an appendectomy. When your u**... is removed it's called a hysterectomy. What's it called when you have a growth removed from your head? A haircut.
  • Doctor: we had to remove your appendix **JRR Tolkien:** but that's where I explain why elves hate dwarves
  • Surgical operations When you get your tonsils removed: tonsillectomy
    When you have your appendix removed: appendicectomy
    When a woman has a s**... change: addadictomy
Removal joke, Surgical operations

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about removal can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of removal puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Great Removal Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about removal you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean destruction jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make removal prank.

I have a feeling that I'll be fired from my job at the graffiti removal company.

The writing is on the wall.

I asked a road-kill removal specialist if he would donate to my charity.

He said he might be able to scrape together a few bucks.

Personally I think removal of net neutrality will be great. It will offer our businesses new opportunities for development which will help the economy in the long run

A dumb scientist is experimenting on a fly...

He pulls one leg off and says 'Fly, walk'. The fly walks.
He pulls the second leg off and says 'Fly, walk'. Again, the fly walks.
He continues until he gets to the last leg. Pulling it off, he says 'Fly, walk'. The fly does not walk. He repeats the command, but the fly does not shift a millimetre.
He scribbles down 'After removal of the 6th leg, the fly has become deaf'

My tattoo removal specialist, Dr Pablo, confessed to me recently that he had committed dozens of crimes yet has never been caught.

"How on earth are you a free man?" I asked him.
"Nobody expects the Spanish ink physician" he said.

A man is home and sees a gorilla hanging on his backyard tree.

So he naturally picks up the yellow pages and calls the Gorilla Removal services. The professional arrives in less than ten minutes, and gets off his van with a pole, a ladder, a dog, a shotgun and handcuffs. He says "I see it's a male gorilla, so I'm taking the ladder up the tree and poke him with this pole. He's gonna fall, and my dog is trained to bite the crouch, so when the gorilla protects his groins, I handcuff him and bring him back to the wild. Hold this gun, please". The man asks "what do I do with it?", and the guy "If I fall from the tree, shoot the dog".

A guy walks in to his backyard and sees a gorilla in his tree

He gets online and finds a man who specializes in gorilla removal. When he arrives at the house he has a stick, a set of handcuffs, a chihuahua, and a shotgun.
He tells the homeowner "I'm going to climb up in the tree and use the stick to hit the gorilla until he falls out of the tree. Upon landing, the trained chihuahua will viciously lunge for the gorillas g**... and when he attempts to protect himself we will slap on the handcuffs."
The homeowner, a little bewildered, says "that's crazy enough it just might work, but what is the shotgun for?"
"If I fall out of the tree first....shoot the chihuahua."

A man takes his dog to a vet...

A man takes his dog to a vet because it has too much hair in its ears and is having trouble hearing. The vet suggests using nair hair removal cream to remove the large portion of hair from its ears.
So the man goes to a pharmacy and asks for some nair hair removal cream. Then at the counter, the pharmacist says, "ok if this is for your legs, don't wear any tight pants for a few days".
The man says, "its not for my legs".
The pharmacist then says, "ok if it's for your underarms, don't wear any tight shirts for a few days".
The man says, "its not for my underarms". The pharmacist then asks, "what is it for then?"
"It's for my schnauzer. "
Then don't ride your bike for a few days.

What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee with a rhinoceros?

A meeting with the ethics committee and swift removal of your research funding.

I have this bad feeling that I'm about to be fired from my graffiti removal job.

The writing is on the wall.

What does acetone have in common with n**...?

Polish removal is their best trait

I've started a waxing/hair removal business, and I have decided to only take female clients for the time being.

I don't want to go nuts right away.

I just started a p**... hair removal business, and I'm only taking in female customers for the first few months.

I don't want to go nuts right away.

My father owned a body removal business

He lifted a lot of dead weight

I am afraid that I'm about to lose my job at the graffiti removal company for poor performance.

The writing…is on the wall.

How did they get John McAfee out of Guatemala?

McAfee Removal Tool

It's difficult to find a good jaw removal doctor.

You can never rely on word of mouth.

United's first case of involuntary removal was back in 2001…

The WTC refused to move so they hit it.

Tiger Woods was pulled over and given a sobriety test.

He would have passed but withdrew 1/2 way through.
*edited for word superfluous word removal.

What do you call the removal of a fence?

Defence

Why do so many countries need a minister of defence?

I guess they have a lot of fences that require removal.

In Light Of China's Announced One-Child Policy Removal.

Get Yo' Freak On China. #NationalSexDay

I got breast removal surgery...

Sorry I had to get that of my chest

We got one good thing out of the removal of the headphone jack in the iPhone 7.

Finally an end to selfie sticks!

Removal joke, I recently got laser hair removal on my groin...

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these removal jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.