Remote Control Jokes
43 remote control jokes and hilarious remote control puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about remote control that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Remote Control Short Jokes
Short remote control jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The remote control humour may include short universal remote jokes also.
- I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, "Well, this changes everything"
- It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my universal remote control did not in fact control the universe.
Not even remotely. - The man who invented the remote control has sadly died. His body was found down the back of the sofa.
- Why will button controlled remotes always be better than voice command? It goes without saying.
- I've noticed my wife gets very aggressive about controlling the TV remote at the same time each month. It's nothing but period drama.
- did you hear about the remote control that went to jail. apparently he was charged with battery
- If war is the father of invention, and necessity is the mother of invention... Then laziness must be the drunk uncle with inventions like the remote control, la-z-boy, and the clapper.
- What did the police man say when he arrested the remote control that beat up his wife? 'I charge you with battery'
- Tragedy, irony, but funny. The man who invented the remote control passed away recently, they found him at home in between the couch cushions.
- I have a degree in the design and mechanics of television controllers I don't know what I'm going to do with this remote knowledge.
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Remote Control One Liners
Which remote control one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with remote control? I can suggest the ones about remote and game controller.
- My remote control batteries died out today. So I gave them away, free of charge.
- What is the pinnacle of laziness? Having a remote control for your remote control.
- Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
- Why did the T.V. break up with the remote? She thought he was too controlling.
- The control for the air conditioner was so far away It was not even remotely close
- What did the air conditioner say to its remote control? You turn me on.
- I am a television, and she is a remote control with no batteries... She can't turn me on.
- Who do you pat with encouragement when they fail to work? A Remote control
- A man is following me around with a remote control. I think he's toying with me.
- Loosing your control.. Loosing your control is not even remotely funny.
- Why do French people hate remote controls? They are too easy Toulouse.
Fun-Filled Remote Control Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about remote control you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean computer mouse jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make remote control pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe.
Not even remotely.
(I stole this joke from fb and it made my drunk a**... laugh out loud so I wanted to share but I'm sorry if it's a repost)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Joe saw a s**... young exotic girl walking out from a bank, a remote control dropped from her mini skirt.
He picked it up and planed to give it back.
But the girl looked at him, her face turned red and seemed nervous and coy.
Joe understood it all of a sudden...
He smiled obscenely and pressed the button on the remote.
Then the bank exploded.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I became best friends with my artificially intelligent remote control quadcopter named "ROTOR".
He is my **pal** n **drone**.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A single guy walks into a bar
A single guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I've been trying that online dating thing. Almost every single girl has the same old line in their profile," he tells the bartender. "Oh yeah, what line is that?" the bartender asks. "They all say, 'If I was meant to be controlled I would have come with a remote,'" the guy says. "Well the joke's on them. I've been turning women off without a remote for years."
Breaking News! Self-aware remote control helicopters have just been invented.
They're flying of the shelves!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the remote controller say to the tv?
I know he turns you on but man, that guy just pushes my b**...!
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
A bus full of politicians crashed in a remote village.
Days later, when the reporters went there they found that all the corpses have been buried. And they went to the village chief to ask about the details. He told them how it was raining and that their bus lost control and crashed into a tree.
And then the politicians in the bus were screaming that they were alive. But we knew that they were lying so we buried them.
(It is a joke in my first language, so I do not know if I have translated it well enough)
What can an authoritarian do with a remote control, magazine and a hat?
You'll never know.
Timmy and Billy compare Christmas presents...
Two 9 year old boys, Timmy and Billy, met after Christmas. Billy asked, "How was your Christmas, Timmy? Did you get any nice presents?"
Timmy's eyes opened wide. "It was amazing!" he said. "I got an Xbox One with all of the games, PLUS a Playstation, a brand new remote control car, a helicopter, an iPad, an iPhone 6, a drone camera, and all the Transformers toys, and a whole bunch of candy and chocolates, a big cake, and a new bike! I got everything I asked for and more."
"Oh my God!" Billy said. "That's so cool. You're so lucky. I didn't get much. I got a new sweater and some puzzles."
"That's too bad," Timmy said. "How come that's all you got?"
Billy looked at his feet. "Because *I* don't have cancer."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A very respected Captain in the Foreign Legion was transferred to a remote desert outpost.
On his orientation tour he noticed a very old seedy looking camel tied out behind the enlisted men’s barracks.
He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, “Why is a camel tied to the barracks?”
The Sergeant replied, “Well sir, it’s a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural s**... urges, so when they do … uh … we have the camel ready for them.”
The Captain said, “Well, I suppose if it’s good for morale, then I guess it’s all right with me”.
After he had been stationed at the fort for six long, lonely months, the Captain simply couldn’t control his s**... angst any longer.
He barked to his Sergeant: “BRING THE CAMEL INTO MY TENT!”
The Sergeant shrugged his shoulders, looked at the other men, and lead the camel into the Captain’s quarters.
Within a few minutes, the Captain emerged from his tent, fastening his trousers, almost beaming with pride.
“So, Sergeant, is that how the enlisted men do it?” he asked.
The Sergeant replied, “Well, sir, usually they just use it to ride into town.”