Remorse Jokes

46 remorse jokes and hilarious remorse puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about remorse that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Remorse Short Jokes

Short remorse jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The remorse humour may include short regret jokes also.

  1. Russell Crowe showed no remorse after cannibalising his wife. In fact, he seemed like he was Gladiator.
  2. My buddy told me he has a girlfriend in every state! 1 in a state of denial, 1 in a state of regret, 1 in a state of remorse...
  3. He was such a brutal fighter that, after slaying the tigress in the arena, he proceeded to devour her flesh. And he felt no remorse. He was Gladiator.
  4. Telegraph Operators once complained to Morse how some of his codes were confusing and needs to be revised. But he had no remorse.
  5. I know a telegraph operator who was so bad he always had to send his messages again. He had a lot of remorse about that.
  6. Why was Ted Kennedy called the "Lion of the Senate"? Because he mated at will and killed without remorse.
  7. How did the sailor deal with the death of his friend? He sent out a message in remorse code.
  8. I felt so bad about what happened that I sent two telegrams apologizing. I guess I had to express my re-morse.
  9. When I was in college my nickname was "Flute" Because when girls blew me it was lightly, and with remorse.
  10. Chris Martin preformed a cheap maneuver in football without remorse It was a cold play

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Remorse One Liners

Which remorse one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with remorse? I can suggest the ones about guilt and grief.

  1. What's it called when you apologize using dots and dashes? Remorse code
  2. •••---•••. I regret that Remorse code
  3. How do guilt-ridden spies communicate with each other? Remorse code
  4. What do you call an apology written using dots and dashes? Re-morse code
  5. How did the cryptographer tell his wife he was sorry again? Re-morse code.
  6. What Do You Call An Apology Written Only In Dots & Dashes ? Re-morse code
  7. How do telegraph operators apologize? Remorse code
  8. I wrote an apology to my friend in dots and dashes I called it a re-morse code
  9. How does a Ham Radio buff send a break-up message? Remorse Code
  10. What do you get when you eat a gallon of ice cream? Breyers remorse.
  11. The telegraph must be the most heartless invention... ...because Samuel had no remorse.
  12. What does a telegraph operator feel when he has to send the same message again? Remorse.
  13. How did people apologize back in the day? With reMorse code
  14. How do people with something on their conscience communicate? They use Remorse code.
  15. How did people say sorry back in the day? Through remorse code

Remorse joke, How did people say sorry back in the day?

Humorous Remorse Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about remorse you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean no regrets jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make remorse pranks.

Why did the remorseful child-m**... paint his toe-nails?

He thought it would be a pedicure.

Doctor tells his patient he only has 6 months to live...

Upset, the patient shoots the doctor.
At his trial, the judge sentences him to 30 years to life in jail and asks him if he feels any remorse.
He replies, "no, your honor. The doctor gave me 6 months to live, and you gave me 30 years."

An officer stops a speeding automobile on the highway which was driving two times the speed limit.

The driver steps out full of remorse.
"Sorry officer, was I driving too fast?"
"Nah, you were flying too low"

Defiant statement from Bill O'Reilly:

"I didn't say I felt remorse when I tried to have s**... with my subordinates, I said that when I shower with one of them I falafel."

My wife says sorry

Whenever my wife does something wrong or messes up she starts tapping her fingers on the nearest surface in a strange rhythm. Eventually, after she had broken a glass, apologised and I told her it was ok she started tapping away again.
It was getting on my nerves so I decided to ask her. She said
It's my remorse code

Before telephones were invented, fighting couples would actually make up over telegraph.

But first they had to learn re-Morse code.

Remorse joke, Before telephones were invented, fighting couples would actually make up over telegraph.

jokes about remorse