Remind Jokes
102 remind jokes and hilarious remind puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about remind that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Remind Short Jokes
Short remind jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The remind humour may include short recall jokes also.
- If a girl says she will be ready in 5 minutes she will. No need to remind her every 15 minutes about it
- When my dentist reminded me about my wife's sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed about it for a while... Then I remembered...................me and my wife have different dentists…
- bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning. He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.
- Don't you hate it when you can't sleep because you are reminded of a mistake you made 2 years ago? I hate it when my kid cries in the middle of the night
- Yesterday I saw two teenagers making out in the park, reminds me of my teenage days…. reminds me of my teenage days when I used to see other teenagers make out in the park
- Whenever I see a female bus driver, I'm reminded of how far we have come as a society... Then I wait for the next bus
- A married's man prayer Dear God, you gave me childhood and you took it away.
You gave me youth and you took it away.
You gave me a wife.......... Its been years now, just reminding you. - I always keep a picture of my wife and children in my wallet. It reminds me why there's no money in there.
- My secretary reminds me of my wife. I was unbuttoning her blouse at lunch today when she said, "remember, you have a wife."
- My wife likes to say marrying me was like winning the lottery... I like to remind her that most lottery winners blow their winnings.
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Remind One Liners
Which remind one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with remind? I can suggest the ones about remember and encourage.
- REMINDER: If you have promised your SO that you will love them 24/7 Today is 24/7
- What's the worst thing to say to a hipster? You remind me of someone
- People always tell me I'm funny and I always have to remind them I'm Dad.
- North Korea reminds me of a redhead Because they both have no Seoul
- Reminder to all Americans: Remember to set your clock back by 75 years today.
- Balloons remind me of my dad They don't come back
- I like leaving receipts in my pockets It reminds me of when I had money.
- Oh my. This painting really reminds me of my late uncle... Because it touches me so much
- I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
- Your mom reminds of bricks She's constantly getting laid by Mexicans.
- Jews are so insecure... they constantly remind us their country isreal.
- If a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every six months
- Today is Sigmund Freud's birthday Which reminds me, Mother's Day is this weekend.
- Why doesn't Spiderman like rice? It reminds him of Uncle Ben.
- My crush: You know, you remind me alot of my brother. [Pulling out]
Me: Excuse me, what?
Comedy Remind Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about remind you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hint jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make remind pranks.
My wife texted "I'm leaving you"
And followed with "after lunch to go shopping with my sister."
I asked why in the world she sent the message that way. "I just wanted you to realize how good you have it with me."
I texted her back "Remind your sister she said she would come over later to give me a h**..."
A minute later I finished the message "-searching and resume building."
The Spice Girls want to remind you to set your clocks back an hour tonight.
Because tonight is the night, when two becomes one.
"..A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news..'"
"This remind me of a hilarious joke. A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news.'
'What are the bad news?' asks the patient.
'You only have 24 hours to live.' replies the doctor.
'Oh my, that's terrible! What could possibly be worse than that?!'
'Well, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday...!'
Haha! Always knocks em out!"
- The Joker on The Batman cartoon.
I love Christmas lights!
... they remind me of politicians.
They all hang together, half the buggers don't work, and the ones that do aren't that bright!
Newfie Joke
A Newfie was standing at a bar and a beautiful woman was beside him so he leans over and says,
"You remind me of my little toe"
She replies, "What? You Mean I'm small and cute?"
He says, "No. I'll probably bang you on the coffee table
later when I'm drunk."
You remind me of my little toe
Why because I'm so cute and tiny?
No, I will probably get drunk later and bang you the coffee table.
This guy sites down next to a pretty young girl at a bar
This guy sites down next to a pretty young lady at a bar and they strike up a conversation. The conversation is going pretty well, so the guy says "you remind me of my little toe." The lady, who is a bit confused, responds "is that because I'm small and cute?" The guy responds "no, it's because I'm going to bang you on the coffee table when I get home."
Next time somebody tries to argue using statistics....
Remind them that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang r**....
How to make girls feel safe in the hallways
I often find myself walking behind various girls while I'm going about my day and I'm always concerned I'm making them feel unsafe. So I like to remind myself not to walk like a r**....
I find this works much better if I don't say it out loud.
Going to a church potluck...
A man calls his friend to remind him about a church potluck tomorrow.
"Ok," he says, "My wife and I will bring the cheese, and you and your wife need to bring the bread."
His friend, who is kind of an anxious mess says, "Oh man, that's a lot to remember. I'm kind of freaking out. I don't know how I'm going to keep all of this information straight!"
"Woah woah woah," the first man says to his friend. "Take it easy, man! Just remember: cheese us loaves you."
I think we're looking at the NSA spying thing the wrong way, there are potential positives.
Soon if you forget your email password you'll be able to ring the CIA and they'll remind you.
My son asked me to explain what coloring eggs had to do with the story of Easter...
"You see, son, we color easter eggs to remind us that Jesus dyed for our sins."
Why does Floyd Mayweather have "TGIF" written on his boxing shoes?
To remind him that "Toes Go in First."
When I'm feeling down.
I just remind myself that I've won just as many Oscars as Leonardo Dicaprio
So I was applying for Art school...
I made sure to remind them what happened when h**... wasn't accepted to art school.
A man walks up to a girl in a bar and says
"You remind me of my little toe" .
She says, "Is that because I'm small and cute?"
He says, "No, its because I'm going to bang you on the table later"
Sweetheart, you remind me the sea.
>Why? is it because of my beautiful blue eyes reminding you the ocean's water?
No
>I know, it's because of my curly hair, reminds you the waves.
Not really.
>So it's my perfume? reminds you that fresh air near the beach?
Nope.
>So what is it then?
You make me sick.
Alphabet Pick-up-line
Me: You remind of the 20 letters of the alphabet
Girl: There are 26 letters in the alphabet d**...
Me: Oh, I forgot to mention, U R A Q T
Girl: That still only makes 25 . . .
Me: Don't worry, I will give you that D later
The twin towers remind me of genders
There used to be two of them and people get offended when you talk about them
Daylight Saving Time ends today. So I have to remind myself,
that the clock on my microwave will be wrong for the next several months.
My grandfather once said that we're starting to rely way too much on technology; that it's important we remind ourselves to live without it. I honestly had to agree with him.
So, I unplugged his life support.
Me: "You remind me of the 20 letters in the alphabet"
Girl: "aren't there 26 letters in the alphabet?"
Me: "you're right, how could I forget. U R A Q T.
Girl: "aw, cute, but that's still only 25"
Me: "that's right, you can get the D later"
Christmas lights remind me of my friends.
They all hang together, half of them don't work, and the ones that do aren't that bright.
A man is charged with first-degree m**... and is on the stand, being questioned by the prosecution.
Did you commit the crime?
No sir, I did not.
I remind you that you are under oath. Do you know the penalty for perjury?
Yes sir, and it's a darn sight less than the penalty for m**....
I always shave my beard after having s**...
... so I can remind my wife for how long we've not been doing it.
Next time someone complains about millennials
Remind them which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hard-wood floors.
Every 4th of July, America sends Britain a locket with a little tiny picture of the United States in it. They want to remind the crown that America is still...
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
In *da* pendent
I had s**... with this girl that would constantly remind me of her age
I guess it's a German thing
Does the telephone remind you of anything?
No, but it rings a bell
You remind me of Communism
no class at all
In the wake of Trump meeting the "President of v**... Islands", it remind me the two sides of Trump's brain: "left" and "right"...
In the left side, there's nothing right.
In the right side, there's nothing left.
When a man says that he will do something, he will do it.
no need to remind him every 6 months
I was staying at a fancy hotel....
...and it said in the Guest Services, "Dial *75 for Turn-Down Service". So, I dialed *75.
A woman answered the phone saying, "I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man on earth!"
It's nice that while I'm traveling, I can still get some things that remind me of home.
Whenever I complain about things I have a friend confined to a wheelchair that will bust my chops about how easy I have it.
But I always remind him that before he judges me he should walk a mile in my shoes.
My friend was a violent serial killer...
Ended up getting caught some time back and sentenced to death by electric chair.
Fast-forward to day of execution.
Guard straps him in.
Guard: "Any last requests?"
Friend: "Remind me of buzzfeed clickbait articles 1 last time"
Guard: "The electric current is going to be started now, what happens next will shock you"
A border patrol official comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump...
"Sir, because of the trauma of being separated from their parents, three Brazilian children fell deeply sick last night." Trump looks absolutely devastated. He sinks back in his chair, murmuring "oh my god" to himself over and over. Then he composes himself and says: "Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?"
The Brazilian ambassador meets with Donald Trump
The Brazilian ambassador meets with Donald Trump, and offers him 50 Brazilian soldiers to help with the fight against terrorism. Trump says, That's fantastic!"
Later that day Trump calls his Chief of Staff and tells him about the offer of 50 Brazilian soldiers.
The Chief of Staff says, That's fantastic!"
Trump says, Yes, but remind me again, how many is a 'Brazilian?'"
Overweight gold diggers remind me of tech support
They're always trying to clear out your cookies and cache
Hey Cutie, you remind me of my little toe you know that?
Why? Because Im cute?
No Because Im gonna bang you on the coffee table later on tonight. ;)
That's a lot of zeros
An aide comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump:
"Sir, three Brazilian solders were killed in Afghanistan last night."
Trump looks absolutely devastated, nobody's ever seen him like this.
He sinks back in his chair, saying oh my god over and over.
Then he composes himself and says:
Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?"
Historical wife
Two men are at the pub and it's 2 AM. One of them says it'd be in his best interest if he would leave now. "When I stay away for too long, my wife gets historical."
The other man replies: "That's not a bad idea actually. I can tell you've had enough beer. You're looking for the word 'hysterical'."
"No," replies the man, "I really meant historical. She will remind me of every little thing I ever did wrong in the past."
My GF is really starting to remind me of my dog...
We cuddle, I take her out every now and then, we walk together, I feed her...
And in exchange, we have s**...!
I just got reminded of my ex-wife who is deaf, she left me for another deaf person.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
When a man promises to do chores, he will keep the promise.
No need to remind him every six months.
My wife and I have recently moved into my Mother-In-Laws while our house is being renovated...
Being intimate is pretty tricky!
I constantly have to remind her that my Wife is sitting downstairs...
How can you tell a dinosaur is an herbivore?
They will tell you within three minutes of meeting them and remind you every fifth sentence.
A good psychologist once advised me to shut out all the negative people that remind me of my dark past and move on
It's been more than a month since I've gone to him and I am already starting to feel better
My wife doesn't realize I'm not complimenting her cooking
When I say "you remind me of Gordon Ramsay"
I love running my fingers through my wife's hair.
It's a nice way to remind her that I love her, and also that we're out of napkins.
My wife asked if we were finally going to get round to watching Gaslight...
I had to remind her we'd already seen it and she loved it.
Mix Tabasco sauce with your hand sanitiser
It won't make it any more effective, but it will remind you not to touch your face and eyes.
I forgot how much I hated Nickelback until you blasted their song on the radio...
And this is how you remind me?!!!
Politicians in the US remind me of British teeth.
Some are sharp, most are white, and all are crooked.
A psychiatrist was testing a patient's personality. He drew a circle on a paper.
And asked the patient, What does this remind you of?
The patient answered, s**....
The shrink drew a square and asked again, What does this remind you of?
s**..., the patient replied.
Then the doctor drew a triangle.
It reminds me of s**..., the patient stated.
You seem to be obsessed with s**..., the shrink told the patient.
*I'm* obsessed with s**...? *You're* the one who's drawing the dirty pictures!
A kid once asked his father during dinner, "Dad, is eating flies healthy for you?"
The dad, disgusted, quickly replied, "hush now son, we don't discuss things like that over dinner. Ask me later."
Afterwards, the dad approached his son and asked him, "now, remind me of what you wanted to ask again?"
The son replied, "oh don't worry about it now dad. There was a fly floating in your soup before, but it's gone now."
Start using "/s" today!
How else are you going to remind others about their inability to detect sarcasm? /s
My 90 year old neighbor has Alzheimer's
And every morning when i wake up he's in a panic knocking at my door asking if I'd seen his wife, and every day i am forced to remind him that she has been dead for over 10 years...
Honestly i could just move, the house isn't too great, and I've had many opportunities to live in better places..
But the look of pure joy on his face every time i tell him she's dead just makes my day and keeps me from leaving.
A happily married couple
There was a married couple sleeping and an intruder entered into their house. The intruder put a knife to the neck of the woman and said, "I like to know the names of my victims before I kill them, what is your name?"My name is Elizabeth, but my friends call me Liz," the woman replied.The intruder said, "You remind me of my mother who was also named Elizabeth, so I can't kill you."The intruder then turned to the husband and asked, "What is your name?""My name's Phillip, but my friends call me Elizabeth."
The employees at my bank are soo nice these days!
Occasionally they would call me and remind me that my loans have been outstanding!
Step-dad tells his step-son to clean his room
Step-son: Am I going to have to pour hot melted cheese all over myself?
Step-dad: Why would you have to do that?
Step-son: To remind you that I'm NACHO son
My wife didn't understand why the Umbrella salesman was being so vague.
I had to remind her it's a shady business.
Why do men in tight pants remind me of a cheap hotel?
No ball-room.
How do you persuade elephants to go swimming?
Remind them that they already have their trunks on.
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet …
I do it to remind myself why there is no money in there.
Sometimes when I'm feeling down I like to remind myself,
At least I'm closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is!
Reminder
Dear Mr Putin,
As a quick reminder, the Geneva convention is not intended as a checklist.
Sincerely yours,
Everyone else
My daughter, 10, won tonight
My wife and I were stepping out to the neighbors for a get together and she is staying home tonight, so I reviewed the ground rules - don't answer the door, let the dog out the back door, call us if you need, etc.
She looked at me and said You know the rules, and so do I
Rickrolled as a dad joke.
Later, called to remind her to let the dog, who is a white goldendoodle, out. Speech to text s**... up and put make sure Ginger isn't at the door into make sure Ginger isn't at the bar
The reply?
Too late, she's white dog wasted
We have a natural here…
"You have a reminder set for 5pm today," my phone said.
"A reminder? What is it?" I asked.
"It's a notification to ensure you don't forget something, but that's not important right now," the phone replied.
Then I remembered I'd left it in Airplane mode.
Dear ladies
if your husband promises he'll do something, he'll do it
there's no need to remind him about it every 6 months
With the bribery and corruption scandal surrounding the World Cup, I want to remind everyone that money can't change someone's mind.
But I'm willing to try.
When a man says he will do something, he will do it.
You don't need to remind him every six months.
If a woman says she'll be ready in 15 mins she will be...
No need to remind her every half hour
