The Best 82 Remembered Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Remembered jokes. There are some remembered memories jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these remembered recall puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Remembered Jokes and Puns

Saw a black guy walking the streets carrying a tv and I thought "is that one mine"?...

... then I remembered it couldn't be mine because mine was mowing the lawn at the moment.

Why are there no black people in "The Jetsons"

Because it's going to be a great future.

As I was driving home I saw a black man carrying a TV down the street...

Nervously, I had to wonder if it was mine, but then I remembered mine was at home shining my shoes

my psychiatrist just diagnosed me with schizophrenia..

was really worried until i remembered i dont have a psychiatrist lol

jokes about remembered

I couldn't recall where I had rented my car from...

...but then I remembered the Alamo


We had a outage at my place this morning...

We had a outage at my place this morning and my PC, laptop,
TV, DVD, iPad & my new surround sound music system were all shut down.
Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat and to top it off it
was raining outside, so I couldn't play golf.
I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remembered that this
also needs power, so I talked with my wife for a few hours.

She seems like a nice person.

This girl came up to me and asked if I remembered her from the vegetarian club...

but I don't think I'd seen herbivore.

Remembered joke, This girl came up to me and asked if I remembered her from the vegetarian club...

I've got a horrible memory.

I couldn't remember what onomatopoeia or metaphor meant and then BAM it hit me like lighting. It was like the time I remembered similes and realized I am dumb as a box of rocks.

Whats the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again....

To Generiquai and everybody reading this, I would just like you to know I obviously didn't make this up. Just remembered it from a few years back and thought it was funny. Whoever made it up I give you all the credit.
Thanks for checking it out!

I saw a black man walking with a TV...

...I thought, "Hey, that's mine!!"

But then I remembered, mine was tied up in the backyard.

My favorite quote.

"Deep down, every human being just wants to be remembered." – *anonymous*

You can explore remembered memorable reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean remembered amnesia dad jokes. There are also remembered puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I saw a black man walking down the street with a TV. "That looks a lot like mine..." I thought...

Then I remembered mine was at home shining my shoes.

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline

This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

So many years after his death, I stayed in room 1401 and remembered how great Mitch Hedberg was.

"The hotel I'm staying in has no 13th floor 'cause of superstition. But people on the 14th floor: You know what floor you're really on. What room are you in? 1401? No, you're not! If you jump out that window, you will die earlier."
β€” Mitch Hedberg

R.I.P.

I woke up this morning and realised I didn't have to go to school today. I was so happy...

then I remembered I'm an unemployed 43-year-old.

Black Guy in Nike

The other day I saw a black guy in Nikes running down the street with a TV.

I thought to myself "hey is that mine?"

And then I remembered that mine wears Adidas

Remembered joke, Black Guy in Nike

The other day, an ex girlfriend of mine was hit by a bus near my house

And I thought to myself "that could've been me"

Then I remembered - I can't drive a bus

While digging a hole today I found a bunch of old gold coins.

I ran in to tell my wife.
Then I remembered why I was digging a hole.

Saw a black man run down the street with a flatscreen under his arm

At first i thought it was mine,
but then i remembered that mine was chained in my backyard picking cotton


Rumours suggest Usain Bolt has been cheating on his wife. I'm amazed she hasn't caught him.

Then I remembered that he can finish in 9.58 seconds.

I remembered an unemployment joke...

...but then I realized that none of them work.

I met Michael J Fox yesterday...

I was going to shake his hand but remembered it does that on its own.

My friend told me everytime he goes to this sub he finds new hilarious jokes

I was surprised at first, but then I remembered he has a short-term memory.

A black man is walking down the street...

I saw a black man walking down the street, carrying a TV with him.

"That's funny" I thought, "I could've sworn that was mine!"

But then I remembered, it *couldn't* be mine, because mine was at home,

Shining my shoes.

I thought I heard one of the kids opening the furnace earlier

Then I remembered the handle was on the outside.

I felt like a fool when I bought David Bowie tickets for my son and then remembered that he died last year...

Even more so when I remembered that David Bowie died too.

Remembered joke, I felt like a fool when I bought David Bowie tickets for my son and then remembered that he died las

I saw a veteran begging in the street which made me very upset

But then I remembered I wasn't required to give the military quarters.

I saw a man on the street with a sign saying he was hungry.

I told him I had an extra sandwich and he could pick which one he wanted, turkey or roast beef. He looked at both sandwiches for about 30 seconds, them threw up his hands and ran off.

I wondered for a second, then I remembered,

"Beggars can't be choosers"

My friend was super excited when his girlfriend said "You're like a brother to me!"

Then I remembered, they're from the south.


I desperately needed to pass gas!

and I was in the restaurant .......... when I suddenly realized The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

I asked my babysitter from 15 years ago if she remembered how hard it was to get me in bed.

I told her it that it would be much easyier now.

I woke up to find my wife lying unconscious on the kitchen floor..

At first I panicked, then remembered that McDonalds does all day breakfast.

(Blonde joke I just remembered) A blonde and a brunette...

A blonde and a brunette are walking in a shopping mall and spot a man with really bad dandruff. He has a look of visible anger on his face as he passes the two girls. The brunette says "Wow, that guy could use some Head & Shoulders." The blonde says back "How do you give Shoulders?"

My dad died yesterday when no one remembered his blood type.

He kept telling us to 'be positive' but it's hard without him.


At my therapy session today, I suddenly remembered that as a child I was molested by a clown.

I never knew I had IT in me.

I had been digging for a long time today.

Down in the hole I found a box full of Silver coins!
In the excitement I ran back indoors to tell my wife.
Then I remembered why I was digging the hole...

December 19 was the 102nd anniversary of the death of Alois Alzheimer.

But of course no one remembered.

I just accidentally super-glued my thumb & index finger together, and at first started to panic…

But then I remembered that it's always going to be okay.

I was trying to make a joke about the unemployed,

But then I remembered that none of them work

I always wondered how in Goldilocks, the same serving of porridge could be too hot, too cold and just right at the same time.

Then I remembered Hot Pockets

I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, Wow! That could have been me!

Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.

If vampires are hurt by holy water, why don't priests just bless a storm cloud to kill vampires everywhere? But then I remembered why so many vampires are from Europe...

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.

A man worked at construction site...

...and is brought to emergency room with concussion and skull fracture.

His wife, furious, comes to hospital.

"What happened?!"

"Well, I asked John to throw me the hammer..."

"And then what?! You didn't catch it?"

"In matter of fact *I did*. But then I remembered we have 3 guys named John working on our site..."

Farting to the beat.

Once, I was at a restaurant and I wanted to fart so bad, that I couldn't even move.
Fortunately, the restaurant had really loud music so I thought I'd fart to the beats so that nobody would notice. After several moments, I noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I had been wearing headphones the whole time.

I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with gold.

I was so excited that I ran inside to tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.

My wife is so pessimistic! I remembered the stoller, the car seat, AND the diaperbag.

But all she talked about was that I forgot the baby.

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins

Excited, I was about to run indoors to tell the wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in the garden...

I was digging up our garden when I found a box full of old rare coins. I was really excited so I ran inside to tell my wife about it.

Then I remembered why I was digging up our garden.

A big moron and a little moron were standing on a bridge, the big moron fell off

The other was a little more on.

(Sorry if this is a repost, I just remembered my dad telling it forever ago and thought I'd share because it made me chuckle)

I saw my ex get hit by a bus today,

and I thought wow, that could've been me.

Then I remembered I don't have a license to drive a bus!

A small joke I remembered

Boss: if I find you sleeping on the job one more time, you're fired!

Employee: sorry boss

Boss: ok, now go and do the sheep inventory

Employee: oh no

A nurse at the hospital asked me if I remembered what happened to me the night before

I told her I was in a bar when two large ladies came in speaking a strange accent.

Making casual conversation I said Cool accent! Are you two ladies from Ireland?

One of them snarled at me It's Wales, dumbo

So I corrected myself Oh right, so are you two whales from Ireland?

That's as far as I remember.

Timed Gas

Timed Gas

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me...Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to the music on my Samsung phone with an ear-piece.

Yesterday my wife told me that I have the body of a teenager.

I almost freaked out until I remembered she doesn't check the basement.

My dentist reminded me about my wife's sensitive gag reflex…

*We laughed about it for a while.*

*Then I remembered me and my wife have different dentists…*

I was digging in the garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run inside and tell my wife.

But then I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden.

I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa.

Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.

They bless the rains down in Africa.

While my wife was in the kitchen cooking breakfast, I suddenly heard a loud thud.

Running in I found her dead on the floor.

In a panic, I had no idea what to do.Then I remembered.

McDonald's do an all-day breakfast.

Since this is the first year that I've remembered my cake day, here's my four year old's favorite joke. What did one hat say to the other hat?

You stay here. I'll go on ahead.

Ageing: Not to brag, but I just went into another room, and remembered why I went in there

Granted, it was the bathroom, but still ...

Here's a little joke that I remembered from a while back:

So this Irishman walks out of a bar

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her: "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Walmart parking lot, now you can follow me over to Target."

My wife is always nagging.

I remembered to bring the stroller, the diaper bag, even an extra set of clothes.

But al she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

...well darn

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

I woke up last night from a noise somewhere in the house.

My wife turned to me and whispered "It must be a thief. Go downstairs and check."

Reluctantly, i went downstairs. I checked every room but couldn't find the thief.

I knew this sneaky guy was hiding somewhere but where?

Then i remembered- i don't have a wife.

I was in the bar yesterday...

when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.


The music was really really loud, so I timed my Farts with the beats. After a couple of songs I started to feel better.


I finished my beer and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
Then I suddenly remembered I was listening to my iPod.

A preacher trained his horse to go when he said "Thank God" and to stop when he said "Amen"

The preacher mounted the horse and said "Thank God" and went for a ride. When he wanted to stop for lunch , he said " "Amen." He took off again saying "Thank God"
The horse started going toward the edge of a cliff. The preacher got exited and said "whoa! whoa!" Then he remembered and said "Amen" and the horse stopped at the edge of the cliff. The preacher was so relieved and grateful that he looked up to heaven and said "Thank God!"

The Superman 2 movie and a documentary about the Moon Landing had accidently been scheduled at the same time for the Lunar Background part of the movie lot. They argued about who should get to use it first, but then they remembered:

Neil before Zod.

I was digging in the woods and found a chest filled with gold coins

I ran back home excitedly to tell my wife the good news.

Then I remembered why I was digging in the woods.

A pastor discovered his bicycle had been stolen

He decided to use it as inspiration for that week's sermon, and began writing on the Ten Commandments, especially thou shalt not steal


Then he got to thou shalt not commit adultery and remembered where he left his bike.

I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

I was going to cook an alligator today

but I remembered that I only had a crock pot

A man is digging in his garden…

When out of nowhere he finds very old coins that are worth a fortune. He gets so excited he runs into his house to tell the prostitute he hired and then he remembered why he was digging in the first place.

Sir John Harrington, inventor of the modern flush toilet is well remembered for two reasons:

Number 1 and Number 2

My brother just broke the record by downing 22 Russian jets in Ukraine

He'll forever be remembered as the worst mechanic in the Russian Air Force

My wife got excited because of a delivery she received

She got a new heavy-gauge wok that she had her eye on for a while. I asked her if she remembered to get the special footwear for it.

She looked puzzled for a moment. Then she sighed and said, "Okay, lay it on me. Tell me your dad joke."

I said, "I don't know what you mean by that, but it is my understanding that they have boots that are made for wokking."

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold

I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging our garden in the first place

A small village's pastor's bicycle was stolen

And he was discussing what to do with the choir master.

"I know, I'll do a sermon on the ten commandments, and when I get to 'thou shalt not steal', I'll pause and look everybody in the eye to see who looks guilty".

After church, the choir master asked the vicar if he'd worked out who the thief was?

"Well, as it happened, when I got to 'thou shalt not commit adultery', I remembered where I'd left it"

I lost my favorite hat and I decided to go to church to snag my buddy's who has the exact same one

I figured he'd never suspect me…

The priest came over after the service and asked how I liked his sermon..

I said I have to be honest…

I just came today specifically to take my buddy's hat…

So the priest said, you must have heard me talk about the Ten Commandments, especially the one about … Thou shalt not steal… you probably had second thoughts

No - Actually, when you got to the part about adultery…

I remembered where I left my hat…

"You have a reminder set for 5pm today," my phone said.

"A reminder? What is it?" I asked.

"It's a notification to ensure you don't forget something, but that's not important right now," the phone replied.

Then I remembered I'd left it in Airplane mode.

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins

I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

My wife is so negative...

I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.

Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the remembered remembrance jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working remembered reminiscent piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes