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Remember Jokes

147 remember jokes and hilarious remember puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about remember that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

If you want to make people remember your jokes, you need an arsenal of clever, witty, and unpredictable jokes. Learn strategies to make your jokes memorable, such as through wordplay, surprise and suspense, and relevance to the audience. Discover how to choose a joke that will create the most impact and understand why some jokes are more memorable than others.

Best Short Remember Jokes

Short remember jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The remember humour may include short reminder jokes also.

  1. Call a girl beautiful 1,000 time and she won't think twice... Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.
    Because elephants never forget
  2. Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why. He said "inflation"
  3. As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way, I think to myself... maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
  4. My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him
  5. Remember, If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.
  6. Remember crying as a kid and your parents told you 'I'll give you something to cry about!' and you expected a beating but instead they just ruined the housing market?
  7. I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa. Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.
    They bless the rain down in Africa.
  8. Since this is the first year that I've remembered my cake day, here's my four year old's favorite joke. What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here. I'll go on ahead.
  9. When my dentist reminded me about my wife's sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed about it for a while... Then I remembered...................me and my wife have different dentists…
  10. I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, Wow! That could have been me! Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.

Quick Jump To


Remember joke, I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myse


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about remember can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of remember puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Remember One Liners

Which remember one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with remember? I can suggest the ones about recall and forget.

  1. I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals I M LIVID
  2. Cardi B and Bill Cosby walk into a bar... I don't remember the rest.
  3. Telltale Games will shut down... *Fans will remember that*
  4. Does anyone remember the joke I made about the Chiropractor? It was about a weak back.
  5. TIL humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
  6. What bleeds once a month in the mouth? Me, when I remember to floss once a month.
  7. Remember that joke I told you about the chiropractor? It was about a weak back.
  8. Scaring men is easy I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is..
  9. My dentist asked me the last time I flossed I replied, "You remember.. You were there.."
  10. If someone calls you a nobody, just remember Nobody's perfect.
  11. I still remember my grandfather's last words Don't point that gun at me you idiot
  12. You remember those yardsticks? They don't make them any longer.
  13. Just pooped my pants. Which is weird, because I don't even remember eating them.
  14. I remember when my mum would tuck me in. She really wanted a daughter.
  15. I like my men like I like my whisky Inside me until I can't remember my name

Remember Faces Jokes

Here is a list of funny remember faces jokes and even better remember faces puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A woman walked into a bank and took off her top and pulled out a gun she stole thousands, shame no one could remember her face.
  • Cinderella's dress Cinderella's dress must have been very revealing if the prince looked at her all evening without being able to remember her face.
  • I forgot - what's the name of that two-faced villain, something "dent"? Never mind, I was able to remember. It is President.
  • If you ever feel like your life is meaningless Just remember that someone out there provides Donald Trump with face masks.
  • A Silver sister can't remember your face But a Silver Bromide
  • LPT: If someone punches you in the face, don't worry! You are already getting revenge! Remember that your face is exerting the same amount of force back to the fist that it is exerting on your face
  • Call me old fashioned but... I remember when ecstasy was throwing acid in the face of your enemies
  • So, a horse walks into a bar... The bartender asks "Why the long face?" And Ann Coulter just flips her hair around while trying to remember when her parents told her she was pretty.
  • I've met Stevie Wonder a couple of times. He remembers my name, but hasn't been able to place my face
  • An elderly comedian steps onto the stage in the year 2094... I'm so old, I remember when an eyepatch was something you wore on your face, not an update for your cybernetic eyes!

Remember The Alamo Jokes

Here is a list of funny remember the alamo jokes and even better remember the alamo puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I couldn't recall where I had rented my car from... ...but then I remembered the Alamo
  • Remember the Alamo! If you need to rent a car
  • As we begin the holiday season, remember... The Alamo

Easy To Remember Jokes

Here is a list of funny easy to remember jokes and even better easy to remember puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • German women love me... I'm a ladies man. I saw this fine German woman. I didn't even have to chat her up for her to hastily give me her number. It was easy to remember 999 9999.
  • English is so easy to learn... You just need to remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme, but read and lead don't rhyme and neither do read and lead.
  • German women love me I saw this hot German woman and asked her phone number. She immediately gave it to me. It was so easy to remember too. 999-9999
  • Anyone remember the joke about the dwarf? Can't think right now, should be easy to remember, it was only a short one.
  • Why American Names Are Like – Jackson, Wilson, Markson..... Robinson, Kenson, Anderson, Davidson, Jemson, Johnson
    Because This Is The Easy Way For Mom To Remember Who Is Whose Son.
  • "How do I remember all of Henry VIII's wives?" my son asked. "There's an easy way," I replied. "Yes, yes, no, maybe when drunk, no, from behind."
  • Remembering idioms is easy It's not rocket fuel
  • Once I've asked German girl for her number It was pretty easy to remember. It was 999-999-999.

Remember Me Jokes

Here is a list of funny remember me jokes and even better remember me puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If you ever feel like your job is meaningless, remember there is someone who is currently installing the turn signal at BMW.
  • I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with gold. I was so excited that I ran inside to tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.
  • If you ever feel like your job has no purpose, always remember right now, there is someone who is installing a turn signal in a BMW
  • Girls, if a guy remembers your birthday, saves your pictures knows what you enjoy and understands your family and friends, This guy is not your man.
    This guy is Mark Zuckerberg.
  • Do you remember when air was free at the gas station, and now it's $1.50? You know why? Inflation
    Holy smokes this blew up, THANK YOU all for the awards and the silver!!
  • Prisoner: I'm sorry I tried to escape. Guard: I'm not mad, just........disappointed.
    Remember, kids, never let your guard down.
  • A joke I remember making up when I was 7 : What do you get when a giant steps on a house? Mushrooms
  • My brother just broke the record by downing 22 Russian jets in Ukraine He'll forever be remembered as the worst mechanic in the Russian Air Force
  • I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
  • "Remember, son, a smart person always has doubts about something. Only a total idiot can be 100% sure about everything." "Dad, are you sure?"
    "Absolutely."

Do You Remember Jokes

Here is a list of funny do you remember jokes and even better do you remember puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If any of you are sad about being alone on valentines day, just remember... that nobody loves you on any other day of the year, and valentine's day shouldn't be any different.
  • I can't remember the name of that Italian dessert where you pour espresso over ice cream. I asked my Italian friend, but he couldn't remember either.
  • Why is Japan afraid of Kim Jong-un? because they remember what the last fat man did to them
  • If you ever feel useless...
    Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, Trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with...

    the Taliban
  • We all know the zip code to Beverly Hills, it's 90210. But do you remember the one for Dawson's Creek? It's 90108 (for our lives to be over)
  • Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
  • I remember as a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing,
    but when I got home, the signs were all there.
  • I have the memory of an elephant. I remember one time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.
  • I always wondered why you hear stories of vampires in Europe but never Africa. Then I remembered vampires are killed by holy water, and they bless the rain down in Africa
  • As I get older I remember all the people I've lost along the way I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
Remember joke, As I get older I remember all the people I've lost along the way I think to myself,

Comical & Quirky Remember Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about remember you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean memory jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make remember prank.

Sometimes I wonder how vegans survive off of what little they eat

Then I remember they feed off of attention.
EDIT 1: This blew up quick thanks guys :D
EDUT 2: When I typed edit 1 it had 500 upvotes now im waking up to 29K upvotes thanks eveyone :D

Do you remember when you were a kid and whenever you cried, your parents would say, I'll give you a reason to cry!?"

I always thought they were going to hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.
($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).

My dad just died. This isn't a joke, I'm lost. I remember at his dads f**... he told me:

Why do they put fences around cemetery's? Because people are dying to get in.
I told my daughters this joke years ago and told them it was from my dad. I want a joke that I can make at his f**... to my children in his honor. Can you help me out?

My mom just told me this one

Mom: did you hear about the actress that stabbed her husband?!?
Me: really? Who?
Mom: I can't remember her name, it was Reese something...
Me: Witherspoon?
Mom: no, with her knife

"You have a reminder set for 5pm today," my phone said.

"A reminder? What is it?" I asked.
"It's a notification to ensure you don't forget something, but that's not important right now," the phone replied.
Then I remembered I'd left it in Airplane mode.

Russian prime minister Medvedev comes to Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.

" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor stuff. Remember when that Polish plane crashed with their president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet!!"

This is an old joke that my teacher told me when I was little and most people probably already know it but I remember loving it.

A police officer pulls over a man who has penguins in the backseat of the car.
"Sir you can't have penguins in your car. Bring them to the zoo or something," the police officer tells the man.
The next day, the police officer sees the man again. Again, the penguins are in the backseat of the car.
"Sir, I told you to take the penguins to the zoo!"
"I did, Officer! Today I'm taking them to the movies."

I'm a 21-year-old multimillionaire. Here's how I did it.

1. I get up at 5:00 AM every day
2. I run for an hour before breakfast
3. Afterward, I take a cold shower to wake me up.
4. Journaling is key. You never know when you might need to remember something.
5. Always write down an appointment as soon as you get it.
6. My dad owns a Fortune 500 company.
7. I meditate every day

Kid going to his first day of school, he looks worried, his dad asks him "What's wrong?"

Nervous, the kid asks, "How long do I have to go to school for?"
"Until you're 18" says the father.
The kid nods, and thinks about this quietly.
=== =====
When they get to the front gates of the school, the kid says "Dad, you will remember to come and get me when I'm 18, won't you?"

Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.

But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting p**....

s**... Ed in 2015

Remember kids, 'Netflix and Chill' is only one "D" away from 'Netflix and Child.'

A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen.

He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"

"The neighbors hate us."

"The neighbors hate us."
"Why?"
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife was crying in her husband's arms, and how everyone looked at us funny?"
"Yeah, I remember! I wondered what we'd done..."
"We were still holding our marshmallow sticks."

A woman wakes up to her husband crying in bed today

"What's wrong, dear?" she asks.
"Do you remember 20 years ago, when your father caught us having s**... in the back of his police car?"
"I remember," she says.
"And when he told me to marry you right then, or he'd make sure I spent the next 20 years in jail?"
"Of course I remember," she says. "But why are you crying?"
"I would have gotten out today."

A guy is spending his first night in prison

He hears someone in another cell shout out "37!" and the whole cell block bursts out laughing.
Another guy shouts out "74!" Same thing.
"46!" and everyone loses their minds.
He asks his cellmate "What's going on? Why are the numbers so funny?"
"Well we've all been here so long we remember all the jokes by heart. To save time we just give them numbers and tell those instead."
"Oh I think I understand. Let me try. 63!"
There's dead silence.
The new guy says "What's wrong, is that one not funny?"
"Nah, it's a good one. Some people just don't know how tell a joke."

A n**... woman robbed a bank..

No one could remember her face.

My grandfather's favorite joke.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where ya left it.
[My grandfather suffers from dementia and for some odd reason he remembers this joke and continues to tell it.]

A guy wakes up from a coma.

His doctor asks him what he remembers.
- All i remember is getting on an elevator with a gorgeous woman and her husband. She had a beautiful cleavage and i couldn't stop staring at it. She then looked at me and told me "Can you please press one?".

A bloke bumped in to me on the tube the other day and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Then the same fella followed me home from the pub and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."
Things then got out of hand when he tapped on my window at 11.30 that night and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."
I thought, "That's it, I'm going to the Police."
I told the officer I was being stalked and he asked if I could tell him anything about the man.
I said, "Yes, he reminds me of Leonardo Di Caprio."

My wife got excited because of a delivery she received

She got a new heavy-gauge wok that she had her eye on for a while. I asked her if she remembered to get the special footwear for it.
She looked puzzled for a moment. Then she sighed and said, "Okay, lay it on me. Tell me your dad joke."
I said, "I don't know what you mean by that, but it is my understanding that they have boots that are made for wokking."

If you ever feel useless... Just remember that

If you ever feel useless...
Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, Trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with...
the Taliban

#whoremembers

If you initially read that as w**... members', well, we're probably already friends.

A man is dying. He lies in his bed with his wife next to him.

He says to her:
'you remember when i lost my job some years ago?'
'yes'
'you were by my side'
'yes'
'and when our son died in a car c**...?'
'yes'
'you were by my side'
'yes'
'and now I'm dying of cancer you're still by my side'
'yes'
'you know what?'
'no'
'i think you bring me bad luck'

Does anyone remember that joke someone told about a chiropractor?

I think it was about a week back…

I read online today that humans, on average, eat more bananas than monkeys.

It's right you know. I cannot remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when people were up in arms about cupcakes, bathrooms, statues, police, riots, clean water? So when you think this "Wall" thing will last forever, just remember...

People will eventually get over it.

A mathematician couldn't remember if he had been with his girlfriend for 1 year or 2.

But he knew it was <3.

Boris Johnson coronavirus joke

For those sending around vile jokes about the Prime Minister in ICU... please remember the words of The Queen last night:
I hope in the years to come everyone will be able to take pride in how they responded to this challenge. Show some class.

A guy comes back home to his small town from overseas at the end of WWII. The town plans a big parade for him the next day. He remembers that the day before he shipped out three years earlier, he left a pair of dress shoes at the shoemaker's for repair.

He finds the receipt ticket and rushes to the shoemaker's to get them. The shoemaker examines the ticket and disappears into the back for a couple of minutes. When he returns he says, "They'll be ready Thursday."

Always remember that children can drown in as little as one inch of water

so please if you are drowning children, don't waste water.

A cop walks over to a bruised and beaten man outside of a pub.

He asks the man what happened and the man tells him this; "So I walk into the pub and sit down and as im waiting for my drink I overhear two large women talking with a strange accent. So I ask them 'Are you two ladies from Ireland?' One of them scoffs and tells me "it's Wales d**...." So I ask again 'are you two whales from Ireland?' And thats about all I can remember."

As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way...

Maybe being a tour guide wasn't such a great idea after all.

I wa‌‌s crossin‌‌g th‌‌e stree‌‌t whe‌‌n ‌‌I suddenl‌‌y notice‌‌d m‌‌y e‌‌x gettin‌‌g ru‌‌n ove‌‌r b‌‌y ‌‌a bus‌‌

I though‌‌t t‌‌o myself‌‌, "Wow‌‌! Tha‌‌t coul‌‌d hav‌‌e bee‌‌n me!"
The‌‌n ‌‌I remembere‌‌d ‌‌I don't know how to driv‌‌e ‌‌a bus

A British Jew is to be knighted by the King.

He is to kneel in front of him and recite a sentence in Latin when he taps him on the shoulders with his sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, His Majesty turns to his advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"

A kid asks, "Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?"

The mom replies, "Listen, the way I remember that party you're lucky you don't bark."

Day 284 without s**......

Went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound

I still remember my Grandfather's last ever joke...

He said to me, before he passed- 'Quick! Get my medicine!'
But, I didn't get it :/

When I was a kid adults would use swear words then apologise by saying 'Excuse my French'.

I still remember my first day at school when the teacher asked "Does anyone know any French?"

Honey, remember how when we started dating you told me you were an insomniac and I told you I only had five s**... partners?

Neither of us were counting sheep.

A small joke I remembered

Boss: if I find you sleeping on the job one more time, you're fired!
Employee: sorry boss
Boss: ok, now go and do the sheep inventory
Employee: oh no

I remember my pops once saying 'son, w**... will make you blind.'

I said: 'dad, I'm over here'.

Remember joke, I remember my pops once saying 'son, w**... will make you blind.'

jokes about remember

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these remember jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.