Remember Jokes

Funniest Remember Short Jokes

Short remember jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The remember humour may include short reminder jokes also.

1. Call a girl beautiful 1,000 time and she won't think twice... Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.
   Because elephants never forget
2. Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why. He said "inflation"
3. As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way, I think to myself... maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
   
4. My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him
5. Remember, If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.
6. Remember crying as a kid and your parents told you 'I'll give you something to cry about!' and you expected a beating but instead they just ruined the housing market?
7. I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa. Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.
   They bless the rain down in Africa.
8. Since this is the first year that I've remembered my cake day, here's my four year old's favorite joke. What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here. I'll go on ahead.
9. When my dentist reminded me about my wife's sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed about it for a while... Then I remembered...................me and my wife have different dentists…
10. I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, Wow! That could have been me! Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.

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Remember One Liners

Which remember one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with remember? I can suggest the ones about recall and memory.

1. I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals I M LIVID
2. Cardi B and Bill Cosby walk into a bar... I don't remember the rest.
3. Telltale Games will shut down... *Fans will remember that*
4. Does anyone remember the joke I made about the Chiropractor? It was about a weak back.
5. TIL humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
6. What bleeds once a month in the mouth? Me, when I remember to floss once a month.
7. Scaring men is easy I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is..
8. My dentist asked me the last time I flossed I replied, "You remember.. You were there.."
9. If someone calls you a nobody, just remember Nobody's perfect.
10. I still remember my grandfather's last words Don't point that gun at me you idiot
11. You remember those yardsticks? They don't make them any longer.
12. Just pooped my pants. Which is weird, because I don't even remember eating them.
13. I like my men like I like my whisky Inside me until I can't remember my name
14. What do you call a bird who never remembers song lyrics? A hummingbird
15. When talking about opinions on border control, Remember: Lefty loosey
    Righty tighty

Remember Faces Jokes

Here is a list of funny remember faces jokes and even better remember faces puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A woman walked into a bank and took off her top and pulled out a gun she stole thousands, shame no one could remember her face.
• Cinderella's dress Cinderella's dress must have been very revealing if the prince looked at her all evening without being able to remember her face.
• I forgot - what's the name of that two-faced villain, something "dent"? Never mind, I was able to remember. It is President.
• A Silver sister can't remember your face But a Silver Bromide
• So, a horse walks into a bar... The bartender asks "Why the long face?" And Ann Coulter just flips her hair around while trying to remember when her parents told her she was pretty.
• I've met Stevie Wonder a couple of times. He remembers my name, but hasn't been able to place my face
• An elderly comedian steps onto the stage in the year 2094... I'm so old, I remember when an eyepatch was something you wore on your face, not an update for your cybernetic eyes!
• I bumped into a local model yesterday. I couldn't recall where I knew her from. Then I remembered I came across her face in a local flyer.
• A straight face and a sincere-sounding "Huh?" have gotten me out of more trouble than I can remember.

Remember The Alamo Jokes

Here is a list of funny remember the alamo jokes and even better remember the alamo puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I couldn't recall where I had rented my car from... ...but then I remembered the Alamo
• Remember the Alamo! If you need to rent a car
• As we begin the holiday season, remember... The Alamo

Easy To Remember Jokes

Here is a list of funny easy to remember jokes and even better easy to remember puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• German women love me... I'm a ladies man. I saw this fine German woman. I didn't even have to chat her up for her to hastily give me her number. It was easy to remember 999 9999.
• English is so easy to learn... You just need to remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme, but read and lead don't rhyme and neither do read and lead.
• Anyone remember the joke about the dwarf? Can't think right now, should be easy to remember, it was only a short one.
• Why American Names Are Like – Jackson, Wilson, Markson..... Robinson, Kenson, Anderson, Davidson, Jemson, Johnson
  Because This Is The Easy Way For Mom To Remember Who Is Whose Son.
• "How do I remember all of Henry VIII's wives?" my son asked. "There's an easy way," I replied. "Yes, yes, no, maybe when drunk, no, from behind."
• Remembering idioms is easy It's not rocket fuel
• Once I've asked German girl for her number It was pretty easy to remember. It was 999-999-999.

Remember Me Jokes

Here is a list of funny remember me jokes and even better remember me puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• If you ever feel like your job is meaningless, remember there is someone who is currently installing the turn signal at BMW.
• I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with gold. I was so excited that I ran inside to tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.
• Girls, if a guy remembers your birthday, saves your pictures knows what you enjoy and understands your family and friends, This guy is not your man.
  This guy is Mark Zuckerberg.
• Do you remember when air was free at the gas station, and now it's $1.50? You know why? Inflation
  Holy smokes this blew up, THANK YOU all for the awards and the silver!!
• Prisoner: I'm sorry I tried to escape. Guard: I'm not mad, just........disappointed.
  Remember, kids, never let your guard down.
• A joke I remember making up when I was 7 : What do you get when a giant steps on a house? Mushrooms
• My brother just broke the record by downing 22 Russian jets in Ukraine He'll forever be remembered as the worst mechanic in the Russian Air Force
• I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
  ​
• "Remember, son, a smart person always has doubts about something. Only a total idiot can be 100% sure about everything." "Dad, are you sure?"
  "Absolutely."
• If any of you are sad about being alone on valentines day, just remember... that nobody loves you on any other day of the year, and valentine's day shouldn't be any different.

Do You Remember Jokes

Here is a list of funny do you remember jokes and even better do you remember puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I can't remember the name of that Italian dessert where you pour espresso over ice cream. I asked my Italian friend, but he couldn't remember either.
• If you ever feel useless... ​
  Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, Trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with...
  
  the Taliban
• We all know the zip code to Beverly Hills, it's 90210. But do you remember the one for Dawson's Creek? It's 90108 (for our lives to be over)
• I have the memory of an elephant. I remember one time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.
• A mathematician couldn't remember if he had been with his girlfriend for 1 year or 2. But he knew it was <3.
• Always remember that children can drown in as little as one inch of water so please if you are drowning children, don't waste water.
• I still remember my Grandfather's last ever joke... He said to me, before he passed- 'Quick! Get my medicine!'
  But, I didn't get it :/
• A small joke I remembered Boss: if I find you sleeping on the job one more time, you're fired!
  Employee: sorry boss
  Boss: ok, now go and do the sheep inventory
  Employee: oh no
• I felt like a fool when I bought David Bowie tickets for my son and then remembered that he died last year... Even more so when I remembered that David Bowie died too.
• One day the youngest son asks his mother, "Mom, why do I look so different from all my siblings?".... The mother says "Son, from what I remember about that party, you are lucky that you don't bark".

Comical & Quirky Remember Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about remember you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mention jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make remember pranks.