The Best 27 Remarry Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Remarry jokes. There are some remarry margaret jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these remarry jewelry puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Remarry Jokes and Puns

My wife asked me, If I die, will you re-marry?

I replied, I don't know love, I don't think about those sorts of things.

Well If you did, would she live in our house? she asked

I said, I don't know, I haven't thought about it!

Then she asked Would you let her wear my clothes?

I replied Nah she's not your size

I tried to re-marry my ex-wife.

But she figured out I was only after my money.

My wife asked me if she died would I re-marry?

I said no, I'd just go and live with my brother.

I asked her if she'd re-marry if I died.

She said no, she would just go and live with my brother too

Wife asks her husband will he remarry if she dies.

Husband: No how can I think of remarrying.

Wife: Why not? You would need a partner for your bad times. Please remarry if I die.

Husband: You are so sweet... Even after death, you are worried about me.

Wife: Will you let her use my car?

Husband: Of course not

Wife: Will you give my jewellery to her

Husband: Not at all, I have some of my memories attached to it. I will keep it as your memory.

Wife: Will you give my shoes to her

Husband: No way... Her size is '5' and yours is '7'.

If I die...

If I were to die first, would you remarry?" the wife asks.

"Well," says the husband, "I'm in good health, so why not?"

"Would she live in my house?"

"It's all paid up, so yes."

"Would she drive my car?"

"It's new, so yes."

"Would she use my golf clubs?"

"No. She's left-handed."

I'm seriously considering asking my ex-wife to remarry me...

But I'm worried she will think I'm just after her for my money...

My wife wanted me to get a Vasectomy

Since we were both on our late 30 and we were not planning on having more children

I told her: but what if 10-15 years from now something happens to you And I remarry with a much younger woman? She would want children wouldn't she ?

Now I don't need a Vasectomy, the kick was hard enough to prevent further offspring

Remarry joke, My wife wanted me to get a Vasectomy

I asked my wife, "when I die, will you remarry?"

She said, "not at all, I'm going to live with my sister." Then she asked me when she dies, would I remarry. I replied, "of course not, I'm going to live with your sister."

A very wealthy man on his deathbed

Called his lawyer. He told him to give all he had, down to the last dollar to his wife. But he had one condition, that his wife must remarry within 30 days. "Why? ", asked the lawyer. The man told him, "There should be atleast one person that regrets I died".

What do you do when your dishwasher breaks?


My wife always asks me: if she dies, will I remarry? And I say don't be silly honey...

I never make the same mistake twice.

You can explore remarry astrologer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean remarry marry dad jokes. There are also remarry puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Islamist advantage:

When you divorce your wife and remarry, you can still keep the same photo on your desk


Laying in bed, a husband asks his wife, "If I die, will you remarry?"

"Of course not darling" she replies, "I'll live with my sister. And if I die, will you remarry?"

And the husband replies "Of course not honey, I will also stay with your sister."

A husband asks his wife: If I died, would you marry again?

A husband asks his wife:
If I died, would you marry again?
Oh darling, of course I wouldn't. I'd go and live with my sister. And if I died, would you remarry?
No, I think I'd go and live with your sister too.

A man is on his death bed. He asks his wife...

"Will you re-marry after I die?"

"Oh, I don't know..." she says. "Maybe."

"Will you let another man move into our house with you?"

"Oh, I don't know... Maybe."

"Will you let another man drive my car?"

"Oh, I don't know... Maybe."

"Well, will you have sex with another man at some point?"

"Oh, I don't know... Maybe."

"Will you let another man use my golf clubs!?"

"Nah. He's left-handed."

I did everything possible to try and convince my ex-wife to remarry me.

But she figured out that I was only after my own money.

Remarry joke, I did everything possible to try and convince my ex-wife to remarry me.

If I die first, will you remarry, asks the wife.

I'm in good health so why not, says the husband.
Will she live in this house
Its all paid for so yes.
Will she drive my car.
Its new so yes.
Will she use my golf clubs.
No, she's left handed.

Mad Man

Wife: How would you feel if I die?

Husband: I will go mad with grief.

Wife (a bit glad): You wouldn't remarry, would you?

Husband: You never know. A mad man can do anything!

Getting a portrait painted.

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told
the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace,
emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.
But you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist.
I know, she said. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.

Twist in the story.

Man to Wife :- what will you do after I die ?

Wife to man :- I won't remarry . I'll just go and stay with my sister till the end.

Wife to man :- what will you do if I die before you ?

Man to wife :- I also won't marry again. Instead I shall also go and stay with your sister.

Wife asks husband, if she dies will he remarry?

I don't know... yeah I probably would i guess.
What about the house? would you sell it?
No he says, I like our house.
What about our bed, would you buy a new one?
No I like our bed and would keep it.
Ok, the wife now asks, what about my golf clubs?
Would you let your new wife use them?
No way he says, she's left handed.

A woman told her friend: "I want to remarry my ex!"

"But I thought you were sick of him?"

"Yes, but he's been so happy since we divorced and I can't stand it!"

Would you remarry?

Husband : Babe, if i die, would you remarry?
Wife : No, i would stay with my sister. If i die, would you remarry?
Husband : No, I would also stay with your sister.

A wife asks her husband, "what would he do if she died"?

Husband: "I would go insane!"

Wife: "Would you remarry?"

Husband: "I don't know. You can't predict what an insane person would do."

"What will happen to you if I die, dear?" asked a wife to her husband out of curiosity

"I will go crazy, dear." replied her husband.

Then the wife said,"Promise me that you will not remarry."

Husband replied, "Dear, a crazy man can do anything."

You know what they say about re-marrying

It's a wife changing experience

Remarry joke, You know what they say about re-marrying

My wife says if anything ever happens to her I should move on and remarry.

Today I found out, apparently "anything" does not include getting stuck in a traffic jam.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the remarry spousal puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working remarry wedlock piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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