Remarked Jokes
46 remarked jokes and hilarious remarked puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about remarked that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Remarked Short Jokes
Short remarked jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The remarked humour may include short commented jokes also.
- Of all the inventions of the last 100 years... the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable
- Back in my day we used to only have chalkboards. The new whiteboards they use are Remarkable
- Bill Gates and Donald Trump are alone in the Oval Office Trump remarks,"Bill, together you and I are worth $80 billion."
Bill Gates says,"But I'm worth 90 billion." - "I'm leaving you!..." I've had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I'm leaving you!
But honey, what about our child?
What child?!
Oh, so you're not pregnant? - I've found dry erase boards to be remarkable. I've found dry erase boards to be remarkable.
- Yesterday I saw a horse-drawn carriage The proportions were a bit off but the shading and linework were quite remarkable.
- life is like a box of chocolates.... it is destroyed remarkably fast by an emotional woman.
- My wife's identical twin sister is living with us till she finds a job I said to my friend
He asked do you know how to tell them apart ?
I remarked why should I ? - Some of my friends have been making very hurtful remarks about my choosing to wear mittens rather than gloves... ...but I don't like to point fingers...
- My friend covered their walls with whiteboard paint I've never seen something so remarkable
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Remarked One Liners
Which remarked one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with remarked? I can suggest the ones about exclaimed and noted.
- I love dry erase boards. They're remarkable.
- Don't you just love whiteboards? They're remarkable.
- Just discovered whiteboards Remarkable
- I just got a new dry erase board it's remarkable!
- Whiteboards... are remarkable.
- I've got this whiteboard for sale. You'll love it. It's remarkable!
- What's the most remarkable invention? A whiteboard
- Whiteboards are truly remarkable.
- Have you heard about the invention of the white board It's remarkable.
- What do you call a clean white board? Remarkable!
- The technology behind whiteboards is remarkable.
- We got a new whiteboard at the office today... It's remarkable!
- I got a new white board for Christmas... It's remarkable....
- You want to know what is obsoletely remarkable?! Whiteboards..
- I just found out about Dry-erase boards They are remarkable !
Howlingly Hilarious Remarked Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about remarked you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean remarkable jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make remarked pranks.
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.
They're appalled by his haircut, tattoos and piercings.
The boy leaves and the girl's mom remarks, Dear, he doesn't seem to be a very nice boy.
* Oh, come on Mom! If he wasn't nice, would he be doing 300 hours of community service? *
My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size
... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.
A student receives a bad grade on his exam
And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he's been graded unfairly.
He says to the teacher "I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren't entirely correct!"
The teacher sighs and says "ok, I'll take another look at your exam".
The student comes home, and his mother asks him "so how did the exam go?". He replies: "the teacher thought it was remarkable!'
What did people say when the inventor of the Dry Erase Board showed off his new invention.
That's Remarkable!
Terrible joke, came to me on the toilet early, but I had to say it. And it's also likely be told in some form before.
A man is lying on a nudist beach wearing only a hat covering his c**...
When all of a sudden a woman passes by who remarks, "If you were even the tiniest bit of a gentleman, you would lift and tip your hat to a lady."
He replies, "If you were even the tiniest bit of a s**... woman, the hat would lift by itself."
A die-hard fan was very surprised to see an empty seat at the Superbowl...
He noticed a woman sitting next to the empty seat and made a remark about it to her. "Well, it was my husband's", she said. "But he died." "Oh my gosh!" He said. "I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm surprised that another friend or family member didn't jump at the chance to take the ticket." "Beats me", she said. "They all insisted on going to the f**...."
Three rich guys bury a friend
First throws a thousand bucks into the coffin, saying "I want you to never need anything in the next life".
Second one, richer than the first, throws 5000 behind it.
All look to the third who is even richer than the other two. He writes a check over 100 grand, throws it in the coffin and remarks "Cash it if you need any".
A lawyer named Strange died.
His friends asked the tombstone inscriber to write "Here lies Strange, an honest man and a lawyer" on the headstone. The inscriber suggested this would confuse people, who would think three men were buried there. He suggested "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." "Whenever anyone walks by," he explained "they'll be certain to remark, 'That's Strange.'"
After dying h**... arrives at the gates of heaven
God asks him his name and on hearing "h**..." instantly remarks that he should be sent to h**.... h**... pleads to God to atleast consider some merit for him in heaven. To this God rumbles " You persecuted millions of Jews, led a second world war to happen and caused the German people to suffer a lot. On what possible merit would we consider admitting you into heaven ?"
h**... calmly replies "My Lord, I am also responsible for killing that man"
Chicken and an egg
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken lights up a cigarette. The egg, with a dissatisfied look on it's face, rolls over and remarks, "Well, I guess we answered that question."
A man decided to sunbathe on the beach.
He took all of his clothes off, except that he covered his private parts with a hat to prevent a sunburn. As he's sunbathing, a woman walks past him. She looks at the man and snidely remarks:
"A true gentleman would always tip his hat for a lady."
To which the man replies:
"Ma'am, if you were a true lady, it would tip itself."
The Super Bowl
Surprised to see an empty seat at the Super Bowl, a diehard fan remarked about it to a woman sitting nearby.
"It was my husband's," the woman explained, "but he died."
"I'm very sorry," said the man. "Yet I'm really surprised that another relative, or friend, didnt jump at the chance to take the seat reserved for him."
"Beats me," she said. "They all insisted on going to the f**...."
A woman gives birth to a bouncing baby boy...
(Sorry if repost, I did a search)
A woman gives birth to a bouncing baby boy and the doctor hands him to her, remarking, "That's a cute baby!"
Mom says, "Oh I bet you say that about every baby you deliver."
Doctor says, "No no, only when they're really cute."
"What do you say when they're ugly?"
"He looks just like his mother!"
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. At one point in the discussion, the teacher remarked that it was physically impossible for a whale to s**... an entire human being because
…even though the whale was a very large mammal, its t**... was very small.
"But the whale swallowed Jonah," the little girl insisted.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not s**... a human. It was physically impossible, she said.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to h**...?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
I was at an art gallery.
"Absolutely beautiful, isn't it?" I asked the guy next to me. "The way the yellow combines with the grey. The way the colours intertwine. Truly remarkable."
He stepped away from the u**... and left.
