The Best 25 Religiously Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Religiously jokes. There are some religiously strictly jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these religiously carefully puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Religiously Jokes and Puns

The secret to a long life

A tough old cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning.

The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died.

She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

The secret of long life

A young man met a cowboy who was 104, still active and in good health. He asked the old-timer what the secret was to his longevity.

The old man said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal every morning see. If you do, you'll live to a nice, ripe old age."

So the young man did this religiously every day for the rest of his life, and sure enough, lived to the age of 100.

When he died he left behind 6 children, 10 grandchildren, 56 great-grandchildren...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

I exercise religiously

I go to the gym for an hour on Sunday morning and then don't think about it again for the rest of the week.

Religiously joke, I exercise religiously

How to Live a Long Life

A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.

When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

A tough old rancher once told his grandson that the secret to a long life was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously, and he lived to be 97. When he died, he left behind 14 children, 27 grandchildren, 34 great-grandchildren and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.


Bang !

An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning.

She did this religiously and lived to the age of 103, leaving behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

"How much would you say you read the Bible?"

"Well, I don't read it religiously."

Bud-dum tss, I hate myself.

Religiously joke, "How much would you say you read the Bible?"

My dentist took a look in my mouth and said, "Your gums look awful. I told you to floss religiously."

I do, I said, I floss on Christmas and Easter.

I go to the gym religiously

Twice a year around the holidays

I go to the gym religiously

Christmas, and maybe Easter

I exercise religiously.

I was on the treadmill earlier praying that it would stop.

You can explore religiously regimen reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean religiously dutifully dad jokes. There are also religiously puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I floss religiously.

I do it on Christmas and Easter.

If body builders religiously try to gain weight..

Does that mean they go to the gym for mass?

I track my calories religiously every day.

First they are on my plate and then I put them in my mouth

I know a guy who religiously gets his teeth checked once per week

. He's a Seventh Day A Dentist

My Doctor says I need to start exercising religiously.

So now I hit the gym on Christmas and Easter.

Religiously joke, My Doctor says I need to start exercising religiously.

This year I've decided I'm going to exercise religiously...

That means I'm going to work out on Easter and Christmas and I'm done.

I workout religiously

About once or twice around the holidays

I've religiously disinfected the groceries in my weekly supermarket delivery

Except for the items I take over to my mother-in-law


I watch Game Of Thrones Religiously

I believe it happened cause it says so in the books.

Half a year ago, I've started my own vinyl records collection. I religiously spend every penny I can on vinyl

I own 2 records already.

I'm obsessed with the bible

Some say I read it.... religiously.

I've been going to the gym religiously.

Once a year, on Easter.

I work out religiously...

On christmas and Easter!

An Atheist is having a conversation with her friend.

She says, "So I recently joined an Atheist club at my school." Her friend says, "Cool! So do you guys meet regularly?", to which she responds, "Ehhhh...not religiously."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the religiously scientology jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working religiously knock knock religious piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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