Reliable Jokes

40 reliable jokes and hilarious reliable puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about reliable that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Reliable Short Jokes

Short reliable jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reliable humour may include short trustworthy jokes also.

  1. My grandpa just told me that he loves how reliable his fingers are and is really attached to them... Says he has always been able to count on them.
  2. In statistics, a larger sample size results in more reliable averages. The Ns justify the means.
  3. Why shouldn't you pick on older children that still believe in Santa. bc, I know grown ass men that still think Fords are reliable.
  4. What's the difference between a reliable employee and an angry boxer? One is punctual, the other will punch you all.
  5. I hired an old German plumber when remodeling my apartment He was a great guy, very reliable and thorough. But it seems old habits die hard. He connected gas main to my shower.
  6. Amazon is no longer a reliable marketplace for books I ordered the book "How to scam people online" for Christmas and it still hasn't arrived.
  7. What's the most reliable symptom of a serious illness? The coughin'.
  8. Dogs are Great; I Have a Lab... ...and the results are much more reliable than when using rats.
  9. Were the snowmen reliable friends? Nah, just a bunch of flakes.
  10. What does the green in the American flag stand for? Being a reliable ally.

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Reliable One Liners

Which reliable one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reliable? I can suggest the ones about faithful and accurate.

  1. Despite constantly dropping the ball... gravity is pretty reliable
  2. My hands are really reliable I can always count on them.
  3. What is the most reliable body part? Your fingers. You can always count on them!
  4. Calculators are reliable. You can always count on them.
  5. An abacus isn't exciting, but it's reliable. You can always count on one.
  6. What do you call a reliable coke dealer? Instagram
  7. My abacus is really reliable for simple maths. You can count on it.
  8. Why are babies so reliable? Because you can trust 'em about as far as you can throw 'em
  9. Why are fingers so reliable? You can always count on them
  10. What do you call a reliable calculator? Something you can count on!
  11. I get all my gossip from a ketchup bottle Its a very reliable sauce
  12. What do you call a reliable male pornstar? A solid performer.
  13. What's the most reliable thing about a Honda? It's theft rate.
  14. As a programmer I made the AsbestOS. Reliability was its killing feature.
  15. Hey guys, I can give you a couple of reliable pickup lines. Ford, Toyota, Chevy.

Reliable joke, Hey guys, I can give you a couple of reliable pickup lines.

Heartwarming Reliable Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about reliable you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean loyal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make reliable pranks.

My professor called me into his office.

"Your essays are good", he said. "But you need to come up with more reliable sources for the quotes you use."

"But sir," I started, "a man once said 'It is not the speaker that defines the merits of the words, but the words themselves.'"

He sighed. "Who did? Who said that?"

"Dave69 on Pornhub."

Women see s**... like buying a car

Can I see myself in this long term?
Is it safe?
Is it reliable?
Can it kill me?
Guys look at s**... like parking a car.
There's a spot.
There's another spot.
Oh I have to pay? Never-mind.
Handicapped? Hope no-one sees this!

Concerned when one of his most reliable workers doesn't show up, the boss calls the employee's home.

The phone is answered by a giggling child.
"Is your dad home?" the boss asks.
"May I speak to him?"
"Well can I speak to your mom?"
"No, she's with the policeman."
Alarmed, the boss says, "Gosh. Well then, may I speak with the policeman?"
"No. He's busy talking to the man in the helicopter that's bringing in the search team."
"My Lord!" says the boss, now really worried. "What are they searching for?"
"Me." the kid chortles.

A homeless man with a shattered leg goes to a job interview.

The interviewer asks What are some of your best skills?
The homeless man says, I'm a hard worker, and a reliable one at that. I always get the job done on the spot.
The interview then asks, What are some of your biggest cons?
He says, Well personally, I've been broke in many different places, and have trouble getting back on my feet.

Reliable joke, Hey guys, I can give you a couple of reliable pickup lines.