The Best 46 Relatives Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Relatives jokes. There are some relatives neice jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these relatives dead relatives puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Relatives Jokes and Puns

Arguing couple

A married couple drove down a country road for several miles, sitting in silence. An earlier discussion led to an argument in which neither would concede their position.

As they passed by a barnyard full of mules, pigs, and goats, the husband sarcastically asks: "Relatives of yours?"

'Yup,' the wife promptly replies. 'In-laws'

Mama and Papa Bear are getting divorced...

and the Judge is asking Baby Bear who he wishes to live with. "So, is it Mama or Papa?" the Judge asks.
"Mama and Papa beat me," says Baby Bear.
"Well do you have any other relatives?" asked the Judge.
"I have an uncle in Chicago," replies Baby Bear.
"Does he beat you too?" asks the Judge.
"Naww," says Baby Bear. "The Chicago Bears don't beat anybody."

So HBO is making a drama about relatives conspiring against eachother to take control of the family pastry company

It's going to be called Game of Scones

Relatives joke, So HBO is making a drama about relatives conspiring against eachother to take control of the family

I hated weddings as a kid

When I was younger,I had to attend many a wedding with my parents. Every single time, my aunts and other older relatives used to poke me with a smirk and tell me "You're next.".
They only stopped after I started doing the same thing with them at funerals.

A husband and wife went on a road trip.

They were driving by some plains when they sighted some wild pigs. The wife jokingly asked her husband," Are those relatives of yours?" Too which the husband replies," Yup! Those are my in-laws!"


The lawyer called his client overseas...

..."Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep and I can't reach any other relatives. Shall we order burial or cremation?"

Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order both."

A man and a woman had a quarrel

Woman: If I had known that my life would become like this, I should have just married the devil himself.

Man: But getting married with your relatives is a taboo, isn't it?

Relatives joke, A man and a woman had a quarrel

A couple is driving up to the mountains...

.. and they are in a huge fight. The man and woman are arguing loudly for so long they are tired out. The woman then feels that she should get the last word in, and so as they pass a pasture of cows she turns to her husband and asks "Relatives of yours?" The man replies "Yes, in-laws."

A married couple

A married couple driving along the country side and got in an argument. They're so mad at each other that neither one is saying a word to the other. Until the guy drives past a herd of cows and says to his wife "relatives of yours?" His wife instantly replies "Yes! They're my in-laws."

Vincent Van Gogh's Relatives

His Obnoxious brother: Please Gogh.
His Dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh.
His prune-loving brother: Gotta Gogh.
His Convenience-Store-Owner cousin: Stop'n'Gogh
His Constipated uncle: Can't Gogh
The Ballroom dancer aunt: Tan Gogh
His Nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
His Fruit Loving cousin: Man Gogh
His sister who loves disco: Go Gogh
His bouncy little Nephew: Poe Gogh.

A man was invited to a wedding

When he reached the hotel, he found two doors with two signs written

1. Bride Relatives

2. Groom Relatives

He entered the groom's door and and found another two doors

1. Ladies

2. Men

He entered the Men's door and found two more doors

1. People with gifts

2. People without gifts

He entered the second door (people without gifts) and found himself outside of the hotel premises

You can explore relatives comrades reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean relatives siblings dad jokes. There are also relatives puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A couple got into an argument...

A couple got into an argument while on a drive through the countryside. It got quite heated and neither of the two wanted to concede, so they sat in silence for several kilometers.

As they passed a farm full of pigs bathing in mud, the wife spoke up and said:

"Relatives of yours?"

The man replied:

"In-laws."

A couple were having an argument

Angry Wife: "I should have married the Devil... He would make a better husband than you!"

Husband: "Honey, you would have been arrested!! Marriage between relatives is illegal in this country!" ...

And then the fight started.

A son asked his mother the following question: 'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?'

The mother looks at her son and replies: 'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'

The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.

'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'

The father looks at his son in surprise and says:

'Son, all household appliances come in white..

A little girl asks her father where people came from.

He explained about Adam and Eve and they were our original ancestors and they had babies and that's where we came from.

Later that day the girl asked her Mom who explained that their ancestors were monkeys and apes and humans evolved from the monkeys. "So, our relatives are monkeys?" "That's right, dear"

Now the little girl was angry and stomped into the living room to see her Dad and told him what her Mom said. "You lied to me!" the little girl shouted at him.

No I didn't honey. Your Mom was talking about her side of the family

A guy wants a dog

A guy wants a dog. He goes to one of his relatives if he has an extra dog. The relative says yes.
"Does he like kids?"said the guy
"Yes he does, but you can just give him dog food"

Relatives joke, A guy wants a dog

Just got back from a friends funeral who drowned last week.

I got a lot of abuse from the relatives about my floral tribute in the shape a life jacket. But as I told everyone "It's what he would have wanted"

A couple had a big argument in the car. They didn't talk to each other then entire trip.

They passed a farm with pigs, in which the husband saw an opportunity to break the ice.
"Look, those must be your relatives"
The lady, keeping her cool, replied "In-laws"

Me and my wife were having an argument about which family we will spend Christmas Day with...

I'm sure many couples can relate. I want to spend it with mine and she obviously wants to spend it with hers. It led to a big argument where she yelled, You like your family way more, you hate my relatives

I replied, That's not true, I like your mother in law way more than mine


Some of us live thousands of miles away from most of our relatives and can't be with them this holiday season...

... Please don't be jealous

I saw a pig, a cow, and a horse.

I told my wife, Those look like some of your relatives.

She replied, Yeah, my in-laws!

(Source: Norm MacDonald)

I stopped complaining about my insomnia

when I found out most of my relatives died in their sleep.

Otto the German was driving from Germany to Paris to visit some relatives.

A French cop stops him and asks the usual questions:

cop: name?

Otto: Otto

cop: address?

Otto: 341 Brandenburg Street, Berlin

cop: Occupation?

Otto: no, just visiting...ļ»æ

If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative...

Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!

My Wife just accused me of hating her side of the family and relatives.

I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."

My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...

Iļø said, No, in fact, Iļø like your mother in law a lot better than Iļø like mine

I just got home from a close friends funeral, he drowned last week......!

I was surprised that all the relatives were furious about my floral arrangement that was in the shape of a life jacket. But as I told everyone, "It's what he would have wanted".

My wife told me that I did not love any of her relatives

I told her that is not true.



I said, "I love your mother-in-law and father-in-law much more than I love mine."

Best way to learn about your problems is

Identify 1 mistake in your wife and ask her to correct it.
In response she will help you identify ALL of your problems, your parents problems, all of your relatives and your friends problems.

A man was very sick. Doctors feared the worst. He is at home one day, resting in his bed. He looks up and says, "Is my wife here?" His wife replies, "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you." The man goes, "Are my children here?" "Yes, Daddy, we are all here," say the children.

"Are my other relatives also here?"

And they say, "Yes, we are all here..."

The man sits up and says,
"Then why in the world is the light on in the kitchen?"

A husband and wife been arguing all day:

They pass a herd of jackasses. He says: Relatives of yours?

She says: Yep, in-laws

A man was invited to a wedding...

A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them:

1. Bride's relatives
2. Groom's relatives

He entered the groom's door and found two doors again:

1. Ladies
2. Men

He entered the men's door and found two doors again:

1. People with gifts
2. People without gifts

He entered the second door (people without gifts) and
He found himself outside the hotel.

Money is relative. The more money you make..

The more relatives seem to know you.

A husband and wife had been arguing all-day

They passed a herd of jackasses, she drawls "relatives of yours?"

"Yes!" he says, "In-laws"

Mark and his wife were driving along a country road.

They weren't speaking to each other due to an earlier argument. As they passed a particularly rural stretch, they spotted a couple of monkeys in the treetops. "Relatives of yours?", asked Mark sarcastically.

"Yes," she replied. "My in-laws."

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

A son asked his mother, "Why are wedding dresses white?"

She replied, "It shows your friends and relatives that the bride is pure."

Then the son went and asked the same question to his father.

"All household appliances come in white," said his father.

You don't need an Ancestry DNA kit to find out who your relatives are.

Just tell everyone that you've won the lottery.

What do hillbillies call their relatives from past generations?

Their incestors


Came up with it myself. How did I do?

A wife and husband are driving past a farm

The husband points towards a group of pigs and says Look your relatives . To which the wife responds, yes, my in-laws .

In the US cops are called pigs, in Russia they call them goats.

A man shows up at a police station in Russia and says there is a dead goat on the road two blocks away. The cops are like There was no need to come here, call the city or whatever. The guy says Well, I thought when somebody dies the first thing they do is inform their relatives.

Marital Argument

A husband and wife had been arguing all day. They pass a herd of jackasses. The wife says "relatives of yours?" Husband says, "yep, in laws."

Little Johnny

An insurance officer comes to a farm and meets Little Johnny and asks,

"Hello, are your parents home by any chance?"

Little Johnny: "My parents were run over by the tractor ..."

Insurance officer: "Really? That's awful! Are your siblings at home?"

Little Johnny: "Run over by the tractor ..."

Insurance officer: "Oh my God! That's terrible! Are your grandparents or your uncles or aunts or any of your relatives at home?"

Little Johnny: "No! All of them run over by the tractor ..."

Insurance officer: "What are you doing all day then?"

Little Johnny: "Drive the tractor!"

Every Christmas day we have pigs in blankets.

Or as some people might call it, relatives sleeping in the spare room.

I have a bunch of elderly relatives that used to love to tease me at weddings by saying stuff like: "Oh, you'll be next, you'll be next!"

They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Do Rumanians get upset when they get asked about Vampires?

I asked my Rumanian friend whether he ever gets upset when people ask him whether his relatives were Vampires.

He said "Of course not, That has only happened two or three times this past 180 years."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the relatives pigs jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working relatives brothers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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