JokoJokes

Relationship Jokes

159 relationship jokes and hilarious relationship puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about relationship that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

A bellyful of laugh-out-loud relationship jokes for your significant other! This hilarious collection of jokes will bring out the best in your relationship and leave you in stitches! We've got jokes for her and jokes for him, guaranteed to spark some connection, get your dates going, and put the 'fun' back in your relationship.

Funniest Relationship Short Jokes

Short relationship jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The relationship humour may include short conversation jokes also.

  1. My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After 3years, when we separated, she returned exactly $100. I lost Interest in that relationship.
  2. My last relationship ended because I didn't open the car door for her. Instead I just swam for the surface.
  3. I just found out my girlfriend just gave me an STD.... Looks like I'm gonorrhea-valuate the relationship
  4. Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful. I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend
  5. Today I was asked how I view lesbian relationships Apparently "in HD" wasn't the right answer
  6. America should go 4 years with no president after this term ends. Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important.
  7. I loaned $200 to my girlfriend 5 years ago. She returned exactly $200 after we separated. I lost interest in that relationship
  8. 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships. I'm left wondering... Is it my wife or my girlfriend that's cheating?
  9. Statistics say that 1/3 of people cheat in their relationships Which got me thinking,
    Is it my wife or is it my girlfriend who is cheating?
  10. With relationships, they say there's plenty of fish in the sea... But I'm just stuck here holding my rod

Share These Relationship Jokes With Friends




Relationship One Liners

Which relationship one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with relationship? I can suggest the ones about connection and interaction.

  1. My wife and I have an open relationship Found out last night
  2. I'm making a graph of my past relationships... I have an 'ex'-axis and a 'why?'-axis.
  3. Why do some couples not go to the gym? Some relationships don't work out...
  4. My girlfriend just told me she has a STD... I'm Gonorrhoea-valuate our relationship
  5. I could never cheat in a relationship That would require 2 people to find me attractive
  6. Today I ended a long term relationship. I don't really care though, it wasn't mine.
  7. Why do Romans always have a hard time ending relationships? Their X is always a 10.
  8. They say 1 in 3 people cheat in a relationship Not sure if it's my wife or my girlfriend.
  9. I just ended a 5 year relationship today. It's okay. It wasn't my relationship.
  10. I just ended a 5 years long relationship I'm fine, it wasn't my relationship.
  11. Why are relationships complex? Because you're real, but your girlfriend is imaginary
  12. Relationships are like Algebra... You look at your X and wonder Y.
  13. My relationship with my girlfriend is quite complex. I'm the real part.
  14. Who cooks in a lesbian relationship? None they both eat out.
  15. I just ended a 5 year relationship! I am fine though because it wasn't my relationship.

Dating Relationship Jokes

Here is a list of funny dating relationship jokes and even better dating relationship puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My grandpa once told me he dated Marie Curie. He was attracted to her glowing spirit and radiant personality.
    Sadly, their relationship became toxic.
  • Why can't Indiana Jones find a long lasting relationship? Bad dates.
  • I was dating a midget but it didn't work out. My parents and friends looked down on her.
    Bonus: It was a short relationship.
  • Just had to cut ties with the girl I was dating after I found out we both wanted different things. She wanted a relationship and I wanted a better looking girlfriend.
  • Apparently oj simpson is interested in dating again. He's ready to have another stab at a relationship.
  • American Airlines I'm like the American Airlines of dating, we understand you had other options of relationships and we're sorry you chose us.
  • How come Miss Piggy hasn't thought about dating Porky Pig? Because she's in a kermitted relationship.
  • What do you call it when two horses date? A stable relationship
  • I was on a date other day when the girl said she wanted to start a long distance relationship using semaphore. Raised a couple of red flags...
  • So my brother is dating a mermaid. Yeah, apparently their relationship's on the rocks.

Distance Relationship Jokes

Here is a list of funny distance relationship jokes and even better distance relationship puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I just can't take this long distance relationship anymore... I'm moving the fridge to my room.
  • My girlfriend and I are trying the whole "long distance relationship thing" Also, the police say on top of having to stay 100 feet away, I need to stop referring to her as my "girlfriend"
  • I feel like my girlfriend and I don't speak the same language sometimes I say we have a long distance relationship.
    She says I have a restraining order.
  • My girlfriend and I just transitioned to a long distance relationship Or as the judge insists on calling it, a restraining order
  • Did you hear about the houses that fell in love? It was a lawn-distanced relationship
  • My girlfriend and I just transitioned to a long distance relationship Or as she likes to call it, a restraining order
  • Why do stormtroopers never have long distance relationships? Because they'd miss each other.
  • Almost all of my relationships are long distance relationships. I'm a midget.
  • My girlfriend and I are now in a long distance relationship I still see her all the time, I'm just not legally permitted to be within 1,000 ft. of her.
  • Tall people and Short people should never date. Long distance relationships never work out.
Relationship joke, Tall people and Short people should never date.

Long Distance Relationship Jokes

Here is a list of funny long distance relationship jokes and even better long distance relationship puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What are the advanteges of a long distance relationship? All four people are happy.
  • My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. I live in Seoul, Korea.
    And she lives in the future.
  • Has anyone tried long distance relationships? I have and I hated it, i couldn't take it anymore, So... I moved..... My fridge to my room.
  • I'm in a long-distance relationship My girlfriend lives in the future.
  • Yo mama so fat, when she stands next to yo daddy they still in a long-distance relationship.
  • I had a 1 year long-distance relationship with a woman I'd never met, but when I finally met her supposedly length mattered
  • I can't stand this long distance relationship anymore... Especially since the stay away order.
  • "How is your long distance relationship going?" "So far, so good."
  • I'm in a long distance relationship, her restraining order ends tomorrow.
  • My friend tried dating a woman who was 7'11'' but had to break up with her. He should have seen it coming, long distance relationships never work out.

Stable Relationship Jokes

Here is a list of funny stable relationship jokes and even better stable relationship puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do horses have such a low divorce rate? Because they're all in *stable* relationships!
  • I divorced my wife and bought a horse... I'm finally in a stable relationship.
  • Why did the thoroughbred break up with the wild horse? Because she was looking for a stable relationship.
  • A bad joke:- Why did the horse feel at home in front of an old couple? Because he found their relationship to be stable
  • I only date people who love horses They tend to be a more stable relationship
  • Why won't the jockey leave his wife? Because they have a stable relationship.
  • Took ketamine at my wedding It didn't make for a stable relationship
  • Did you know that horses are monogamous? They prefer stable relationships.
  • I've been dating a horse girl for three years now It's been a stable relationship
  • Why did the horse have nowhere to sleep? He just got out of a stable relationship.
Relationship joke, Why did the horse have nowhere to sleep?

Hilarious Relationship Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about relationship you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean related jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make relationship pranks.

What do a ring, a baby, and a t**... have in common?

None of them are going to save your relationship.

I have just started a s**... relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

I'm in an age gap relationship.

I'm 40, she's 19.

Anyway, we went out for a meal, as soon as we walked in the restaurant people shot me dirty looks, then the whispering started "nonce", "pervert" "paedo.

My girlfriend got upset and we left.

Completely spoilt our 10th anniversary.

My girlfriend and I are trying this whole "long distance relationship" thing.

I have to stay 100 feet away from her at all times. Also, the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend.

I uninstalled Facebook as i got depressed of seeing my friends post their relationship and marriage

I uninstalled LinkedIn as i got depressed of seeing my colleague post their job change and promotion
I uninstalled instagram as i got depressed of seeing my friends travel and enjoy their lives.
But I'll never uninstall reddit because you guys are more miserable than me .

So, my lesbian friend asked how I view lesbian relationships.

In Hd was not the correct answer.

In order to make a relationship work, you have to make a lot of sacrifices….

Which is why I keep a large number of goats in my garden

For Valentine's Day I made a chart of past relationships....

It has an ex-axis and a why-axis.

Apparently 1 out of 3 people cheat in a relationship

I just don't know whether it's my wife, or girlfriend.

Not good at relationships

My last relationship ended because I didn't open the car door for her... instead, I swam up to the surface.

My girlfriend texted me that the relationship cannot continue because I played too much video games.

Looks like it was my Destiny 2 break up with her.

Today, my teacher asked me how I view lesbian relationships

Apparently, in Full HD was not the right answer

You should never get into a relationship with a tennis player.

Love means nothing to them.

Who is cheating?

A recent study showed that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are cheating.
• ⁠
Now I've just got to figure out if it's my girlfriend or my wife.

Five secrets of a perfect Relationship

1. It`s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans and has a job.
2. It`s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It`s important to have a woman you can trust and who would never lie.
4. It`s important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes being with you.
5. It`s absolutely important that these four women never meet.

Did you know there are 3 rings in a relationship?

The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffer ring

You know the saying "bros before h**..."?

Well, I've found out how I can balance my relationships between the two evenly...

...a homie-h**...-stasis, if you will

My girlfriend asked me how do i see lesbian relationships

Apparently 'In HD' wasn't the right answer.

Literally the guy you asked for

A woman looking for a relationship places an ad, saying, Looking for a guy that won't beat me, won't run away on me and will satisfy me nicely. Am good looking, excellent cook.
Three days later, there's a loud knocking at her door. Behind it there's a guy with no arms and no legs, smiling expectantly. Dear Amy, he says, I have no arms so I couldn't even beat you if I tried. I have no legs and I can't run away on you. I'm your guy.
That's very nice, says Amy, surprised, but how will you be able to satisfy me?
His smile widens, You did hear the knocking, didn't you?

My teacher asked me how I view lesbian relationships...

Apparently 1080p Full screen HD wasn't the right answer.

I was recently asked how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "in 4K" was the wrong answer

In a lesbian relationship, which one makes the sandwiches?

Neither. They eat out.

Statistics show that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are cheating.....

I just need to figure out if it's my wife or girlfriend

If you're genuinely asking me to choose between my career as a reporter and our relationship

Well then I've got some news for you

I was asked by a feminist how I viewed lesbian relationships

I guess in HD was not the answer she was expecting.

If you're an astronaut..

and you don't end every relationship with "I need space" then you're just wasting your time

Guys, if your marriage fails don't just blame her. It takes 2 people to make a toxic relationship.

Blame her and her mother.

A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. She slapped me when I answered

I guess "In HD" is the wrong answer

Always make sure SOMEONE in the relationship has good credit...

That's why it's called SIGNIFICANT other. Sign/if/I/Can't.

I just ended a 8 year relationship

I'm OK though, it wasn't my relationship

Archaeologists s**... at relationships...

... that's why they are dating dinosaours

Relationships are like Indian food

They start out hot and spicy but end up with someone on the toilet crying and saying why me.

I'm 35 and I've never been in a serious relationship.

My wife wouldn't like to hear that, though.

Some consider romeo and juliet a tale of true romantic love...

But only if you consider 2 underage kids in a relationship that lasted 3 days causing 2 suicides and 3 murders romantic...

Apparently 1/3 of people in a relationship are unfaithful

I've just gotta figure out if it's my wife or my girlfriend

Today I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "4K ultra high definition" was not the right answer.

Wife: We're not talking over the radio. This relationship is over.

Husband: This relationship is what? Over.

My relationship with my chauffer just isn't going anywhere.

It feels like he's always trying to drive me away.

I plotted all of my past relationships on a chart

It had an ex axis and a why axis.

I loaned my girlfriend $100 sometime soon after we met. After 3 years, when I broke up with her, she returned exactly $100.

I guess I just lost interest in that relationship.

My relationship is complex

part real, part imaginary.

p**... is kinda like being in a relationship...

It's amazing at first but when it's over you feel empty inside.

Why do mathematicians have a hard time moving on in relationships?

Because they're always trying to find the x.
They don't know y, either.

I once had a relationship with a blind woman

It was very rewarding but also quite challenging.
It took me *ages* to get her husband's voice right.

What fuels electronics but drains a relationship?

Battery

My girlfriend asked me last night if she was still as pretty as the day we met. I said of course! She frowned and said You have to say that, you can be honest.

She asked if I was as happy with her as ever. I said of course! She said again you have to say that, you can be honest.
She asked if I still wanted to be with her and only her. I said as long as her sister is still in a relationship.
Apparently I shouldn't have been *that* honest.

I'm in a complex relationship

My girlfriend is imaginary.

Why is it so hard to get into a relationship with an SJW?

Because they have high double standards.

Siri, why am I so bad at relationships with women?

This is Alexa.

I heard it said that one in every three people will cheat in a relationship.

I just can't tell if it's my wife or my girlfriend.

Don't ever get into a romantic relationship with a tennis player...

Love means nothing to them.

A husband and wife are talking about their relationship...

and the wife suggests they each pick one person that they can have s**... with without the other getting mad. The husband agrees and lets the wife go first. She thinks about it for a bit and settles on Brad Pitt. The husband nods his head and says "The neighbor."

How are relationships like algebra?

You look at your X and try to find out Y

Relationship joke, How are relationships like algebra?

jokes about relationship